Jungkook smiled at Jimin as the door swung open. Jimin was swallowed by his hoodie, the fabric covering his knees. His socks were mismatched and his hair a storm from the insane way he cuddles up on a couch when watching a show. Jimin's eyes met Jungkook's instantly and the world around them faded briefly. Jungkook's vision grew a fuzzy echo around the clarity that was Park Jimin.

Jimin rubbed his index finger to his thumb before stepping to the side to let the four of them in. Yoongi patted Jungkook on the back as he passed inside, heading straight for Hoseok's booming voice in another room. Jungkook frowned and Taehyung mouthed the word 'phone-call' from the couch as he sat up from a pile of blankets, waving at them. A couple empty margarita glasses on the floor and a scattered deck of cards was on the coffee table in front of him.

Namjoon walks in next, his hand guiding Seokjin's lower back as they place a twelve pack of beers on Hoseok's kitchen island.

"You came." Jimin said breathlessly. He looked sober, a red-flush absent from his cheeks and his eyes clear. Jungkook looked back at the glasses by Taehyung's feet. Jimin's focus was locked on Jungkook alone.

Jungkook smiled, looking at his beautiful friend and feeling full for the first time in a year. The music still full in his chest, his heart warm from his Hyungs apology in the car. Jungkook ruffled Jimin's hair with a laugh as he broke the spell between them to walk inside. He was on a high today, seeing Jimin only added to it.

Jimin reached for Jungkook's wrist to stop him. Jungkook's body flushed with a feeling he doesn't want to name, a hope so damning that he swallowed it violently down, and then let the platonic love of the day override the emotion. He puts his hand over Jimin's and gently peeled it off.

Jimin winced.

"Want to talk on Hoseok's balcony for sec?" Jungkook said, his voice low and kind. Jimin nodded and exchanged a quick look with Taehyung before following Jungkook towards the balcony door. Namjoon and Seokjin pretended not to see, though Jungkook could feel Seokjin's sharp focus, nevertheless. He hides a little grin, knowing this time the protective energy is for him and not against him.

Hoseok's balcony isn't anything special. It's honestly a stoner's dream. The balcony is small, facing out into a quiet city street. There were plush beanie bags and standard foldable picnic chairs scattered all over the place. Plants hung from the metal bars of the balcony above them, and golden Christmas lights were thrown against the back wall, while a small table sat in the middle. Jungkook closed the door behind them, his back lit golden by the warm lights inside as he leaned against the balcony frame. The metal was cold against his skin as he closed his eyes, listening to the occasional rush of cars underneath them.

Jungkook felt Jimin come next to him, the same way he always felt Jimin walk into a room. His shoulder close enough for Jungkook to feel a fire start in the space between them. He looked over at his friend, watching how his round brown eyes soaked in the night sky above them. The sharp line of his chin was illuminated by the lights of the city, shadows dancing where that light couldn't reach. His long lashes brushed his skin as his eyes shone. Jungkook caught himself staring and cleared his throat but couldn't seem to look away.

Jimin smiled and something broke in him as tears gently left his cheeks. Jimin laughed, and the sound was raw and panicked and yet so, so small. "We're never going to be the same again, are we?" Jimin said, watching the cars whisk below them. A slight breeze picked up, brushing through his hair.

Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his own hair and looking out into the Seoul skyline. The city was swallowed by the night sky, the apartment Hoseok lived in was a rather quiet part of Seoul. Standing up so high on the balcony, Jungkook could see Namsan tower in the distance. He remembered hiking up the small mountain the monument sat on with Jimin back in college. They'd just finished their final exams and needed an outlet, leaving for a midnight adventure. Their other friends wanted to race to the top, but Jimin and Jungkook had hiked slowly, talking the whole way instead. Jungkook couldn't remember what they even talked about then, but the feeling of security and love was clear.

Jungkook frowned, the memory burning behind his eyes. "No." He answers honestly. "I don't think we can."

Jimin nodded. He pushed against the railing and finally looked at Jungkook. Jungkook blushed under the weight of it.

"Do you regret it?" He asked after a long moment. Jungkook blinked. "Talking to me last year, I mean."

Jungkook leaned on the railing, his shoulder touching Jimin's as he did so. For a second, he soaked in that proximity, and then smiled. He hadn't had a day this good in a long time. His mind felt clear; it was easy to breathe. He was surprised that even standing outside with Jimin so suddenly didn't throw him. Singing today felt like the only other time in his life he had done something he was meant to. The other time was when he'd been honest with Jimin about how he felt.

"I don't." Jungkook answered. "I regret how I did it, but I don't regret telling you how I felt. I shouldn't have done it the night you were leaving for Busan, but I don't know. In the moment, I panicked. " Jungkook stretched his fingers, looking down at the dark tattoos inked across them. "I've liked you for so long. Ever since senior year of high school, I had tried to come up with this perfect way to tell you that. I thought about buying flowers or taking you out to dinner or stopping on that Namsan Tower hike to say it then. I thought about doing it right for so long that when I the reality hit that you were going to leave, I didn't know what to do. A year felt like an end at that point. Like, if I didn't say it that night, at the worst time in the worst way, then we would change into different people and never see each other again. What if you found someone in Busan? What if you forgot about me? What if I died in some car crash while you were gone and never got to tell you?"

Jimin gaped, staring at Jungkook like he'd slapped him. "I - I don't understand." Jimin said, shaking his head. "I don't understand."

"Maybe we've been trying to force this too much, Jimin. Us going back to who we were. I've changed a lot this year, so have you. That's a good thing, isn't it? We're supposed to change and grow and find who we are. Maybe the problem is that we've been trying to be friends with who we were back then instead of who we are now."

Jimin's eyes dashed across Jungkook's face. His eyes were piercing, his gaze heavy as Jungkook watched every emotion, every thought, push its way through his beautiful head. Jungkook's breath caught in his throat. They were standing so close now, Jimin's hand a brush away from Jungkook's own on the railing. Neither moved away from the other.

"I want to learn who you are now; " Jungkook said, his voice dropping in volume. "I want you to learn about me. I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to start over with me." Jungkook added. "I was wrong to say what I did to you, but all of it was true. How could I regret that? If I lied or meant to hurt you, sure I would regret that, but the only thing I regret is how much it derailed our friendship. The actual truth of it, though? Honestly, with everything this year has put me through, I would do it again. I liked you so much I thought I would die. It was selfish, I get that, but it was real, and I was lost in how much I loved you. Everyone's been telling me I was in the wrong for that, but I think I'm finally at a spot where I can say I just don't agree. Both can exist at the same time - me wishing I did it differently, chosen a different time, said it a different way, and yet relieved I said anything at all."

Jimin was quiet still, frowning as he continued to soak the image of Jungkook up. It was like he was trying to memorize the details of him, engrain them into his head so he could make sense of the person in front of him now and the man he'd known a year ago.

Jimin tilted his head up, staring at the balcony above them. He closed his eyes, trying to breathe as tears welled in them. He balled his hands up as they shook at his side, desperately trying to compose himself so the tears couldn't fall. After a moment, he relaxed and leaned his shoulder back against Jungkook's. The two friends stared out at the city. Jungkook leaned into the touch, for once comforted by it instead of panicked. It felt right, it felt whole, to be close to Jimin like this. Whatever form he could get - it was enough.

"I know I said I'd wait, but since we're on the topic, I'm going to tell you something that I think will hurt to hear." Jimin said calmly, though Jungkook could see how hard Jimin was gripping the railing, how carefully he was breathing, how much effort it took him to keep staring forward to keep from bawling. His voice was calm only because his body was a storm. "Tell me not to and I won't."

Jungkook took a long breath. He looked behind him to see their friends drinking on the couch, Hoseok had joined them with Yoongi. The balcony was tinted, and they were obscured enough for some privacy. "Okay." He answered. "Since I got to share my side."

Jimin bit his lip, pushing his index finger into his palm as he gathered his words.

"I thought you were lying to me." Jimin said finally. "Back then. When you said you wanted to be together, when you said you wanted to try. I thought you were scared that all of us would leave Seoul and leave you behind. Me and you have never been in a different city before. So, when you came over and said what you did, I thought you were lying and that it was cruel." Jimin's voice cracked. "Because not once had you ever said anything like that to me before. None of the Hyungs had guessed you felt that way either. Then suddenly I have this opportunity to do something new and you come in, panicked, and tell me you loved me."

Jungkook's heart stopped.

"We don't have to talk about it, but I thought you were saying that to get me to stay. I thought you guessed that I had feelings for you too and that you were using that against me to get me to stay."

"What."

"And - I couldn't handle it." Jimin said. "Because Jungkook, I liked you so much. I would have given it up for you. Given up everything for you. I've liked you since freshman year of college, but every time I would flirt, you'd ignore it which is absolutely okay, but it was just such a sudden switch. I couldn't understand it - I still don't understand it. I went to Busan extremely resentful and confused and hurt. I thought you were selfish and cruel - I never imagined that you meant any it." He swallowed. "It's why I couldn't talk to you, couldn't contact you. Why I didn't know how to react when I saw you in Hoseok's for the first time and then shut you out. Why I've been a mess each time we've met since and I keep saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing, because for a year I thought you had lied."

"What do you mean you flirted with me?"

Jimin smiled fondly, like his hand could brush through their memories of growing up together the way they could brush through a pond of water. "Why do you think I invited only you to my performances? Why I slowed down on every walk or hike we did just so I could talk to you? I made sure we always sat on the same couch so I could cuddle up to you and monopolize your time. There was this one time I even took your hand and put it over my shoulders. I never dated in college either, always holding out this naive hope that one of us would say something." Jimin laughed. "I guess saying it out loud now, I hear how subtle that all was. But back then I really thought I was being obvious. I thought you only saw me as your Hyung."

Jungkook ran a hand down his face. "You liked me."

Jimin nodded slowly. "And since coming back from Busan, I've realized you actually liked me too. You have to understand it's been a bit of a minefield coming back and learning that, because I've spent this past year heartbroken over it. Unless I'm wrong?"

Jungkook laughed. "Fuck." He said, holding onto the railing and putting his feet at the bottom so he could lean out towards the city. "FUCK." He screamed out and Jimin swatted at him, blushing so hard his whole face went red.

Their friends turned around from inside Hoseok's apartment only to find Jimin and Jungkook laughing.

"You liked me." Jungkook said again, like the words made no sense. "You liked me back."

Jimin nodded.

"And you thought I used that against you." Jungkook repeated. Jimin nodded again.

"Do you - do still feel the way you did a year ago?" Jimin asked meekly. He rubbed his index finger against his thumb again. "It's okay if not. Like you said, we've been through a lot and grown and changed and-"

"Jimin, honest to God fuck growing and changing. I just said that because it sounded mature. I'm crazy about you. I've never stopped being crazy about you. You're everything. Funny and kind and you drive me fucking insane and you smell like heaven and when you laugh, I swear the world forgets how to breathe. I think about nothing else but you constantly. Even when you were gone, I couldn't unwire you from my mind. I'm crazy about you. I've never stopped being crazy about you. I never want to stop being crazy about you."

Jimin sobbed. The sound was broken and violent and all of his self-control crumbled out of him. "You mean that? It's not a lie?"

Jungkook winked. "I'm not one to be caught in a lie, Jimin."

Jimin laughed then, Jungkook referencing a song Jimin had written with Yoongi on a drunk night playing around in his studio. The song never saw any light, but Jungkook had always been haunted by the melody of it.

"Do you mean it, though?" Jungkook asked back. "Please I need you to say it or I'll gaslight myself out of believing this conversation ever happened."

Jimin laughed again and he didn't care that their friends had stopped talking in the living room, didn't care that his silhouette was clear as he got on his toes and reached for Jungkook's waist. "I'm so crazy about you, Jungkook, that when I thought you didn't like me, I left Seoul for a year."

"You would have gone either way." Jungkook countered.

Jimin shook his head. "No, I agreed to go to Busan because I thought it would never happen between us. It was too hard. I thought I needed to get away before I did something stupid, but I couldn't keep being just a friend to you either. I thought Busan would fix my heart."

"Did it?"

Jimin grinned so wide it hurt. The golden fairy lights danced across his face. "No. This did. I'm crazy about you too. Fuck to changing and growing?" He asked and Jungkook broke out in a grin equally as wide.

"I hope I never change or grow another day of my life." Jungkook said. Jimin responded by leaning in first, connecting their lips. Music strummed through Jungkook's body and brain as they kissed, the city coming alive because of them. Jungkook laughed through it until a pillow hit the window scaring both of them and they stepped back to see all of their friends losing their mind in the living room. Jimin blushed and Jungkook kissed the side of his head, hand on his waist.

"Ready to go back in there?" He asked Jimin.

"What are we walking in as?" Jimin asked back and Jungkook shrugged.

"Well, if it's okay with you, I say we throw the friend thing in the trash and burn the concept entirely."

Jimin beamed. "So, we're not friends?" He said, cocking a brow.

Jungkook kissed his forehead and then his lips and this time Jimin opened his mouth slower, parting in his mouth to savor every slight push or pull from Jungkook. His throat let out a happy, melodic sound, and he was breathless when Jungkook pulled back.

"What do you want to be, Park Jimin?" He asked and Jimin blushed.

"More than that. Forever more than that. Anything but that."

Jungkook grinned, reaching for the balcony door. He gave one last glance out to the city behind them and then pulled Jimin back inside with him. "Then no, we're not friends. Starting tonight, we're finally something more."

___________

A/N:

Hello babes <3 Jikook finally TALKED. Still will take some work to resolve everything, but it's a good step forward for these idiots. I love BTS just losing their minds and being nosy in the background - if I was in that friend group, my ear would be glued to the door. But what do you think? Either more or less justified than the other?

Love you guys <3

- Violette