"Great. It's raining." Jungkook muttered to himself as he walked from the subway towards the restaurant Jimin had sent him the address of. Well, more accurately Jimin had sent it into a long inactive group chat with all seven of them.

Walking down the raining city street Jungkook couldn't help the sudden strike of sentiment that lodged in his throat. Jimin had wanted to eat near Seoul National, the university the boys had all graduated from together. He recognized the bars with flashy purple lights and the Ajummas laughing with customers inside golden lit restaurants as he passed them. Each with Seoul National's emblem at its door. The taste of sharp kimchi soup was still potent in his memories. It was the one late night meal that brought him back to life after hours cooped up in the library, cramming for exams with Taehyung and Jimin.

A group of Seoul National students whisked by on electric scooters that the university provided to navigate its many hills, and Jungkook nearly laughed at the sight. He remembered taking the scooters this far off campus when he had been a student, though usually it was out of laziness and not to escape the coming rain. Jungkook checked his phone again, knowing the location of the barbeque restaurant Jimin chose by heart, but he couldn't bite down the habit of having the navigation up. Watching it gave his mind something to do other than overthink a simple dinner with his closest friends. It kept him from glaring at the people he passed by, too, as he walked further from Seoul National and more into the city area. More than one person was openly staring at him. Do they all know? He thought, eyes on the little arrow of his navigation pointing where he needed to turn. Can they tell I'm freaking the fuck out?

He clenched his jaw, wondering at first if he had something on his face, and failed to realize people were staring because the drizzling rain made his hair cling to his neck and his nerves were making him scowl. He was dangling a cigarette between his fingers before the water could snuff it out. Jungkook filled out his black leather jacket, the equally dark button up underneath open at his collarbones. The ink of his fingers seemed to darken as he brought the cigarette to his lips, allowing the memories of this campus to pool out his mind as easily as the smoke pooled from his lips.

The thick locks of his hair were starting to get a little long. He'd meant to go cut them before the dinner but found himself incapable of doing anything this morning other than stress. It wasn't a violent feeling, more like a slight buzz in the back of his head that only boxing after lunch managed to tame. The restaurant came into view and Jungkook stopped a little outside the front door, leaning his back to the wall. He could hear Hoseok's bolster of a laugh from inside. The restaurant wasn't large, but it was always lively no matter what time the boys visited it. The staff were yelling at each other, running raw meat from table to table and chastising the young students they hired for any misstep. Every table was filled with groups of friends or couples smiling over spilled beers as the smoke of simmering pork belly and tang of spicy soup filled the air. He could smell it even now, standing with one foot out the door.

Jungkook pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a private sigh as if to say what am I doing here?

He brought the cigarette to his lips and tilted his head back exposing the sharp line of his jaw and the bob of his Adam's apple. Jungkook snuffed the cigarette on the ground and finally walked inside.

It was instantly brighter in the restaurant. So bright in fact, that Jungkook had to squint to adjust his eyesight and find Hoseok waving at him from a table in the back. Jungkook's eyes quickly found Yoongi, the older boy giving him a little nod and a gummy smile that said I didn't think you'd make it. Jungkook returned the look, blinking back to Hoseok as if to say the same thing. Yoongi shrugged, touché, and Jungkook thought back to what his friend had said about the two of them stuck in the same trench.

"JK!" Kim Namjoon boomed, clasping Jungkook on the shoulder as he reached the table. Jungkook instantly grinned, the knot leaving his chest. Namjoon was tall, his shoulders wide, and his face sculpted with the look of a scholar - though Namjoon was equally as clumsy as he was insightful.

"You finally made it out of the studio." Jungkook beamed, sitting down next to Namjoon who had his other arm casually draped over the back of Seokjin's seat. Seokjin didn't seem to notice, his back turned to face Hoseok and Yoongi as he talked excitedly about an art show popping up in Seoul that invited him as a guest. He'd modeled for a friend of the artist last season during Seoul's fashion week and was surprised that the artist remembered him. Namjoon chimed in saying how could someone forget a face like Seokjin's which caused their friend to wave a hand and proclaim that see, that's the reason I'd marry Namjoon before I'd marry the rest of you.

"No Jimin yet?" He asked Hoseok, the buzz from the cigarette allowing a small, calming hum to settle in his head as he sat down.

"Taehyung isn't here either." Yoongi answered.

"I meant both of them." Jungkook amended. Yoongi just grinned in reply.

"Right. Of course."

"They are a package." Hoseok agreed, but furrowed his brow and pulled out his phone, calling Jimin anyway to see how far away the boys were. Jungkook's spine straightened as he heard Jimin's soft voice muffled over the phone.

"They're a block away. Apparently, the taxi driver thought they wanted to be dropped off at Seoul National Station so they're walking from the subway. Jimin said we can put it in the order though."

Jungkook nodded, suddenly itching for another cigarette. Yoongi kicked him under the table as if reading his mind and snapped Jungkook out of it. He grumbled at his friend and Hoseok called over the waitstaff to order them all a round of beer and a plate of pork belly to grill.

"Get the Kimchi Jaen." Jungkook added, the Korean style pancake made from flour, potato, and kimchi was one of Jimin's regular orders whenever they ate here. Hoseok added two to the order.

"Jungkook, want to go grab them if they're close?" Namjoon said. "It might be hard to find our table because we're all the way in the back."

If it was anyone else that asked, Jungkook would have said no. The restaurant was packed, but they knew the place like the back of their hands. It wouldn't be hard to find the table. But this was Namjoon and Jungkook tried not to give him a harder time when he could easily be giving Seokjin one instead. So instead, he just nodded, taking a sip of his beer before he headed for the door.

Fuck, calm down. Jungkook thought, wiping his hands on his jeans. He spotted Taehyung first who, granted, was looking lost at the front. The tan boy had a frown on his face as he talked to Jimin, hand on his forearm as he spoke. It was always like that with the two of them since they were kids, tucked away in a corner talking in hushed voices. Jungkook clenched his jaw, trying to swallow the envy. The second Taehyung saw Jungkook, he dropped his hand, and his face grew neutral.

"Namjoon was worried you guys wouldn't be able to find us." Jungkook said to Taehyung who raised his eyebrows. Jungkook cleared his throat, not able to look directly at Jimin who was standing a step behind him. "We're in the back." He added before turning, maneuvering through the crowd to get back to their table. Jungkook's face was on fire, his fingers itching to reach for his cigarettes as he could feel Jimin staring at the back of his neck. Jungkook tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped as his friends all stood up from their seats to hug Jimin and exclaim how excited they were to see him.

He waited till he was safely sitting down before he finally looking at Jimin.

Jungkook's breath caught in his throat. Jimin looked unreal. Jungkook always thought Jimin was beautiful, back when he was still the pretty boy with chubby cheeks to the fucking God that stood in front of him today. Jimin wasn't tall, but he stood with the confidence and grace of someone who could easily scrape the sky. His hair was dyed back to black, drawing out the red of his full lips and the dark black of his long eyelashes. His cheeks had leaned out, his muscles equally sculpted from whatever Hell that contemporary dance program had put him through. He was wearing a pink sweater that was slightly too loose by his shoulders, revealing his collarbone and the pale skin of his neck - and was that make up around his eyes? God what was Jungkook thinking when he agreed to come to this dinner? He could barely spend a second just looking at him - how would he survive a whole meal?

Jungkook tugged on his lip ring, trying to calm himself down as the group fretted over their returned friend. Yoongi ruffled Jimin's hair and Seokjin's hug was so tight that Jimin nearly choked. Hoseok was immediately laughing, and Namjoon grasped Jimin's hand like he was acknowledging a coworker - but they could all see the love in his eyes. Jungkook could only muster a weak smile when Jimin finally turned to him.

"Here, take my seat." Namjoon said, standing up from the chair next to Jungkook and Jungkook shot him an immediate look of murder. Namjoon just shrugged, pulling up another chair from a different table and setting it on the other side of Seokjin.

Jimin sat down and gave Jungkook a weird look when Jungkook frowned. Which obviously sent Jungkook into a spiral because Jungkook looked like an asshole when really he was just freaking the fuck out because this time Jimin was back for good, and he's smiling and smells like fucking flowers.

Yoongi kicked Jungkook again under the table as he sat down on Jungkook's other side. Hoseok sat next to him and Taehyung across the table from Jungkook. Jungkook elbowed Yoongi back and Yoongi coughed from the force which made Jungkook snort. He was about to make a joke about Yoongi being old and frail, when he caught Jimin glancing between them.

"Um." Jungkook said, blushing. He turned away from Yoongi, shrugging off his leather jacket to put it on the back of his seat. The movement stretched his muscles and it felt so good after the workout he'd done this morning, rotating his sore shoulders. The waiter came back with a plate of meat for the grill, a pot of soup and empty bowls, and the Korean pancakes. Instead of saying something dumb to the beautiful boy next to him, Jungkook opted to reach for the soup and pour some in for Jimin instead. His reach extended the table and Jimin's eyes flashed to the tattoo peeking through Jungkook's opaque black shirt and the ink that danced on his fingers. The gaze traveled to Jungkook's hair, to the faint raindrops still clinging to it.

Jungkook set down the bowl and a plate with part of the pancake in front of Jimin as he blushed. "What?" Jungkook said, his voice sounding an octave lower and the smallest bit horse from the cigarette he'd smoked before.

"N-nothing." Jimin said and Jungkook gave him a look.

"You're staring." He teased, a grin etching on his lips, and it looked lethal against his dark hair and clothes. Jimin blushed.

"You um, you look good Jungkookie." Jimin said. "Smell good too."

Jungkook blinked. "Oh," he said because he couldn't come up with anything clever to respond to that. He cocked his head, leaning back in his seat as Hoseok started to grill the meat. Then it hit him that Jimin had called him Jungkook-ie not just Jungkook. Like they were close again. Like they were friends. Jungkook grinned so wide it hurt.

"What?" Jimin said, blushing deeper. "I - I didn't mean it like that. Last time I saw you were still a kid, that's all. Now you're ... I mean shit, I wish I could look like that. You know? Am I rambling? I'm trying to say that I didn't mean it in a weird way - more like holy shit muscles. No. Wait. That sounds weirder. Um. Is that cigarette smoke? Very old school movie of you. I like it. Minho smoked a lot in Busan. He was a friend I made there. Do you like my perfume? Or I guess for guys it's called cologne, but I found this feminine-masculine scent in Busan. It's sort of like floral undernotes but I'm not sure if it comes across that way or if it smells sweet. You smell good though - Taehyung help." Jimin cut off, looking over at his friend who was staring at him with eyes wide fucking open and mouth gaping.

Then, Taehyung laughed and everyone at the table blinked. The sound was so open, so unburdened, and Taehyung couldn't stop, having to cover his mouth with his hand. Seokjin smiled at Jimin, squealing as he reached for his hand because Jimin was finally here and they could all be whole again because Taehyung was laughing. Hoseok elbowed Taehyung who just snorted a boxed smile, ordering a soju bottle for the table.

"You called me Jungkookie." Jungkook mused as Jimin started to eat. Hoseok was putting slices of grilled meat on all their plates as they cooked. Jungkook caught how Namjoon would give Seokjin his pieces if they were slightly bigger cuts. Taehyung was talking with Hoseok and Yoongi, but his foot was on top of Jimin's under the table. Yoongi's support towards Jungkook was much less physical, throwing him a general vibe of if you need an out, just let me know through his old-man body language.

"Do you not want me to?" Jimin asked mid-bite of a lettuce wrap he'd made out of the meat and spices on the table. "I can stop."

"No I-" Jungkook started, running a hand through his hair and promised that he was making it up that Jimin's dark eyes trailed the movement. "I was worried you'd never use it again, actually."

Jimin's face went pale. Yoongi glanced over at Jungkook, checking up on him and Jungkook gave him a small reassuring nod back before his friend focused back on Hoseok and Taehyung.

"We're still friends. We'll always be friends." Jimin said and Jungkook's heart sank. Right. Yes. Of course. This was good, right? Confirmation of what Jungkook wanted most - not to be cut out of Jimin's life. "Actually Jungkook, I wanted to talk to you about that -"

"Shots?" Taehyung said from across the table, holding out a soju bottle. Jungkook blinked and all of his friends already had one poured, waiting for the two of them to join.

Jungkook gave Jimin a look, furrowing his brows, but shook it off when Seokjin said a long speech about celebrating Jimin's return, and the boys all downed the alcohol in one go. Jimin's cheeks went red soon after, which surprised Jungkook because Jimin could hold his alcohol better than most. He didn't look it, but he had an iron liver compared to the rest of them.

"Jimin." Jungkook nudged but Hoseok was poking Jungkook's arm to ask him something and Seokjin switched seats so he could pull Jimin into a gossip session about one of the models he worked with and so whatever Jimin had hoped to say was lost. Jungkook's heart hammered, wanting to violently shake both of his older friends for interrupting, but then tried to remember that this was a group dinner and of course they all wanted to interact with Jimin. He wasn't the only one who had missed him.

"What?" Jungkook whined as he turned to Hoseok.

Hoseok ignored it. "Want to go for a smoke?" He asked and Jungkook eased up at that, nodding. He grabbed his jacket and followed Hoseok outside, pulling out one cigarette for him and Hoseok to kill together.

"You okay in there?" Hoseok asked and Jungkook passed him the lighter.

"Hyung, I'm fine. We were just talking."

Hoseok nodded, handing the lighter back to Jungkook and cupping the cigarette end before breathing it in. He sighed, smoke pooling from his lips as he passed it to Jungkook who did the same. "Good."

"That's all you wanted to ask?" Jungkook said and Hoseok shook his head.

"Yoongi wanted me to talk to you."

"Now?"

"Well, not now but someone had to rescue -" Hoseok stopped, closing his mouth and immediately apology lined his eyes at the visible hurt on Jungkook's face. It was like he slapped him.

"Rescue Jimin. From me." Jungkook finished for him.

Hoseok ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I didn't mean that."

Jungkook just nodded, waving off the cigarette as Hoseok tried to trade it again.

"I wasn't doing anything." Jungkook said. "And Jimin's an adult. If he didn't want to talk to talk to me, he wouldn't. This whole year proved that with the radio silence, you know that."

"You were flirting."

"I wasn't flirting." Jungkook said.

Hoseok nodded. "Just ... don't confuse him, he's only been back a day."

"This is what Yoongi wanted you to talk to me about?"

"No." Hoseok said, snuffing the cigarette out on the ground with his shoe. He leaned back against the restaurant wall, looking out at the city they used to roam in college. "He wants you to record vocals for his label. To just try one song and see how it goes."

Jungkook snorted. "Why is he having you ask me?"

"Because he doesn't want you to shut him out if you say no."

Jungkook sighed, pinching his nose. "I'm not going to shut him out, Hyung. I'm at his studio all the time."

"Then why won't you try? It'll be good for you, better than wasting time at that club. You don't like DJ-ing, Jungkook."

"How would you know what I do and don't like?" He said, anger starting to really bubble underneath him. This coming from Hoseok; Hoseok who was already successful, already respected for his craft, already secure in what he does and who gets paid to do what he loves. Jungkook was the only one of his friends struggling to get a foot in the door in his industry and couldn't even figure out what it was that he really wanted to do in the first place. Music? Sure. He loved music. Loved listening to it, loved being surrounded by it, surprised by it, watching it get crafted, but he wanted to do it in a way that was like his Hyungs. Like Hoseok or Jimin or Yoongi who all worked so hard to get where they were at. He didn't need them to cop him out.

"I don't want a handout, Hoseok." Jungkook seethed. "I love you guys, but you need to believe in me a little bit more."

The way Jimin believed in him before he left for Busan.

"We do believe in you, that's why we're trying to help." Hoseok said. "Yoongi told me you're spiraling a bit. I'm worried about you. He said your place is covered in other people's clothes and that when you're not hanging out with him, you're working out. Only working out. It's not healthy."

"Stop." Jungkook said, absolutely fuming. His head was pounding, and he couldn't even look at Hoseok. At the concern and the disappointment, he knew was going to be there. "Stop." He said again, shaking. "Yoongi had no right to tell you any of that. None."

"Don't turn this on him, Jungkook."

"What else has he told you?"

"Nothing, just that you're not doing well. I think working on music with him is a good opportunity. You should take it. Get your mind off of whatever it is you're going through if you won't open up to us."

Jungkook laughed. "Unbelievable."

"You had a girlfriend who was manipulating you for months and none of us knew." Hoseok said, real hurt in is voice. "We could have helped get you out of that sooner. Should have. I-"

"No." Jungkook said. "Hoseok, I need you to hear me right now. Stop. I hear you; I understand that you are concerned and it's coming from a place of good intention, but I need you to not push any further than this. Yoongi had no right to tell you any of what's going on, none of you were entitled to know about Madison, and honestly pulling me out of there to tell me to back off Jimin when neither one of us made any sort of move is crossing a line. I'm not doing anything wrong talking to him." he said, voice breaking. "He's my friend, too."

"Jungkook-"

"This is, it's so wrong. Jimin and I talked, we're fine, I promise. So this," Jungkook gesturing around them, "can't happen again. You pulled me out of there because you were worried about Jimin. Which, look, I get it, but don't then switch the conversation to my job or my 'spiral' because you feel bad about being so blunt with it." Jungkook said, feeling his body start to freeze up.

"That's not what happened, Jungkook. We care about you, all of us-"

Jungkook couldn't breathe. "I know. Hyung. I know. I hear you. Please stop."

Hoseok looked like he was going to keep pushing but then Yoongi walked out the door followed by Namjoon and Jimin. They cast a quick concerned glance between the two and whatever Yoongi read on Hoseok's face made his own fall.

"Jungkook I -" Yoongi started, and that was when Jungkook's heart actually broke.

"Is everything okay? You guys were gone for a while." Namjoon said, a hand on Jimin's shoulder.

Hoseok looked at Jungkook. "Is everything okay? Are we good?" He asked and Jungkook glanced between all his friends, settling finally on the pale boy in the pink sweater, and sighed.

"We're fine. Jimin, I'm so sorry but I have to go early. I'm so glad you're back." He said, trying to lighten his tone for Jimin's sake. Namjoon frowned, giving Hoseok and Yoongi a disapproving look.

"I'll walk you back to the subway." Jimin said, though his tone was confused and his beautiful face worried.

"Text us when you're home." Namjoon said, clapping Jungkook on the shoulder and giving him a tight squeeze. Hoseok looked like he was about to protest, the fire still in his eyes, but Namjoon pushed both him and Yoongi back inside. Namjoon threw Jungkook a smile before the door closed behind them.

"You're really going home?" Jimin asked, his voice slightly slurred. Jungkook's gently grabbed Jimin's hand, God it was so small and soft in his own, and gave it an apologetic squeeze.

"I'm just not feeling well. I think maybe I drank too much, don't worry." He said as kindly as he could despite the fact that his mind was a storm and all he wanted to do was find somewhere to self-destruct.

"Did I do something?" Jimin asked with such genuine worry that Jungkook caved, waiting to see if Jimin would push him away before pulling him into a hug. Jimin's arms slowly reached up around him, pressing his cheek on Jungkook's chest.

"You're huge now." Jimin said drunkenly. "My face feels like it's hugging Namsan tower."

Jungkook snorted, looking up at the city lights above them and marveling at how easily Jimin could always make the weight on his heart feel a little lighter.

"I don't mean this as a cliche, but Jimin trust me this time it's not you, it's me. I just need to go home." Jungkook said, pulling away. He ignored how Jimin's hands clung to the back of his shirt for a moment as if in protest.

Jimin's eyes darkened. "I could come with you."

"You're drunk." Jungkook stuttered. Jimin was drunk. He was drunk and probably joking and definitely not implying what Jungkook thought he was. How much had Taehyung and him pre-gamed?

"Could be fun. A way to celebrate being back in good old Seoul." Jimin said, taking a step closer to Jungkook. Jungkook stumbled back. His heart was hammering so hard that it was killing him.

"Jimin. You're being cruel." He managed to say, and it seemed to snap Jimin out of whatever drunk daze he was in. He blinked, stepping away from Jungkook instantly like he'd burned him.

"God, I'm so sorry. I - I don't know what I'm saying." Jimin stuttered in shock.

"It's okay." Jungkook countered immediately. "You're just drunk."

Jimin nodded, but something flickered in his beautiful brown eyes as he looked at Jungkook's face. Really looked at it. "Right. You're right."

Jungkook's body burned where he had hugged him, the spot on his chest where Jimin had nuzzled in felt like a fresh new tattoo had just been inked, the skin raw.

"Text me when you get home." Jimin said finally, still shaking from shock. "I think it's a bad idea if I go all the way to the subway."

Jungkook looked out at the city, the cold wind making Jimin's arms freeze up in little goosebumps, and he sighed as he took off a leather jacket that would be two sizes too big for Jimin and handed it over.

"It'll be cold when you head home." Jungkook said, the tips of his ears burning. Jimin took the jacket for the olive branch that it was and the silent forgiveness in the gesture, his small hand gently holding it.

"I'll pick it up next week. A promise that we'll hang out soon." Jungkook said and tried for a smile. Jimin received it, carefully putting the jacket on and Jungkook grinned at how it pooled at wrists. "In a sober way. But I really have to go. Jimin I can't be this close to you if you're going to say things like that while drunk."

"I - I get it. I get it." Jimin repeated. "I'm down for a sober promise." He said and Jungkook smiled. Then, he fucking rushed home before his world could get any more rocked than it already had that night.

______

A/N:

a loooooong chapter this time around. Sorry guys!! But honest to God I didn't know where to split it to make it two halfs so I hope this was okay!

- Violette