BRUNCH.

The atmosphere in the living room was filled with laughter and love as Ahmad tickled his little niece, Afnan. She wriggled on the floor, laughing her heart off and at the same time begging for forgiveness.

"Ahmad leave my daughter alone!" Fifi who was in the kitchen shouted.

"But she started it" Ahmad said with a pout as he continued tickling Afnan. Out of nowhere, Afrah and her two year old brother Assad rushed into the parlor and pounced on their uncle. Seconds later, he became the one pleading for help.

In one corner of the living room, Zarah sat with her legs crossed as she painted one of the Butterflies Afnan drew some few minutes ago. She lifted her eyes off the coloring and stared at her husband being assaulted by his nieces and nephew. It was a lovely sight, but she felt her heart crumble.

She wasn't even sure if there was anything left in her rib cage to crush because of the amount of times her heart broke anytime she sees Ahmad having the time of his life with kids.

He loved them, with every sensory nerve in his body. And he was good with kids. He could change diapers and make cerelac and friso. He even tried bathing one of Hanan's twins the other day when they came but Hanan had to stop him. He loved having Afrah and Afnan around. He loved taking Assad out for a drive and some ice cream. He loved all that, and he longed to do all these with his own children. But what?

Zarah had a miscarriage two months ago and things have never been the same again.

They had been trying to have a baby ever since they got married. They waited patiently for Allah's timing, and when the right time came and Allah blessed them, they couldn't be more happier.

Ahmad was more than ecstatic. He was on cloud nine. It felt like the first time he fell in love with Zarah, but this time around it was even more different. He was in love with her, and a certain someone inside of her which was a product of their undying love for each other.

Zarah too, was so happy. Because finally, she could make her husband's dreams come true. She imagined him taking care of their son and daughter in the early hours of the morning as she does the house chores and makes breakfast. She imagined him taking the now grown child to school and teaching him/her the Qur'an. He would be an amazing dad, and she too, a wonderful mum. She had it all planned in her head. And Ahmad added to her imagination with his actions.

He would go out to buy some wheat bread and will return with a pair of baby socks or baby powder or some cute looking overalls. He baby proofed the whole house. He even transformed their closet, creating a door that will lead to the baby nursery. Before she knew it, the house was filled with baby clothes, toys, cutlery and all that. He painted and re-painted the nursery multiple times, until he got the perfect look. He had everything planned.

And then everything came crashing down.

She still vividly remembered that night when she was taken to the hospital. She just got back from their house where she had helped her Maama package all the souvenirs that will be given to the guests the following day after Adda's Wedding Fatiha. Her Adda has finally found a suitor, their Baaba's long distant relative who was ready to snatch her away from her family and Zarah couldn't be happier. She had been going up and down ever since the wedding month neared. She drove her sister around town, going for dress fittings, lingerie shopping, cake tasting and all that. Adda wanted to have the perfect wedding, and Zarah would do anything to see to it. They did the entire event venue haunting together. Even though Ahmad had told her to slow down, she couldn't.

She travelled all the way to Kano with Anty Uwani to meet Hajiya Mariya Sudan, the lady that was supposed to make all the incense and body khumrah for Adda. They spent two days there, going to Kasuwan Kwari every now and then to purchase one thing or the other. They returned on Tuesday and the Kamu took place on Wednesday. Zarah didn't even have the chance to go back to her own house. She was too occupied to even notice the slight headache at the side of her head. She ignored the feverish feeling she got in the early hours of Thursday morning. The Sister's Eve followed right after and on Friday night, they were preparing for the Fatiha and the dinner party that was going to hold on Saturday night.

She couldn't drive herself back home that night because of how tired she was so Ahmad had to come and pick her up. She went up to their room the moment they arrived home to take a shower. She changed into her pajamas and slept off only to wake up at 3 in the morning with severe pains in the spine and abdomen. Blood was tricking down her legs and all that. By 5am at the hospital, she had lost her baby which was only 3 months in her womb. It was Malaria; that was what the doctor's said though.

Ahmad felt shattered and so did she. But she felt even more shattered that she couldn't fulfill Ahmad's dream of becoming a father. She watched him cry in the hospital ward after her.... She couldn't pacify him, or tell him it was going to be okay. She just watched, as her heart broke, piece by piece. She couldn't even cry. Not even the pain of the horribly looking metal inside of her made tears come to her eyes. She was done crying.

She begged him not to tell anyone until after the Fatiha and dinner party. She didn't want to ruin her sister's wedding. But what could she do? Someone needed to know what's up when she didn't show up at their house even after the Fatiha. When Aunty Uwani kept calling and calling, Ahmad had no choice but to tell her. And that was how the celebration at the Adam's shifted back to the hospital. That was how the dinner party was cancelled and the bride was conveyed to her husband's house the following day when Zarah was discharged.

She returned home, but things changed.

Ahmad tried his possible best to get them back together to what they used to be but Zarah wouldn't budge. She just built four walls around her and mourned her loss all lone. She didn't even want to share her pain with him anymore. She already felt like a failure in his eyes, why add another burden to him again?

They became strangers, living under the same roof.

They spoke very little words but their hearts cried many tears. The occasional 'good mornings' and 'welcome home' became the only words they shared. The atmosphere was getting suffocating for Ahmad because he couldn't bear it any longer. He invited her sisters, Ihsan and Iman, and together with Shukrah, they spent a whole week in the house with them. He was finally finding hope when Zarah talked and laughed with her siblings. It looked like all was okay again. She was even talking more to him, asking him what he'd like for dinner and involving him in her convos with Shukr. But then they left, and she was back to being cold again.

It drove him crazy. But what could he do? He loved her too much.

Nothing has changed for the past two months, and today the 13th of January being Assad's second birthday, Ahmad invited everyone in their family to come celebrate in his house. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just close knit cousins and friends. He wanted Zarah to at least have a fresh breath outside the one she normally has in the house which was clogged with painful silence. He knew she wouldn't go out with him if the birthday brunch was at his parent's so he brought it to her. He hoped she would let go of a few things and be happy just for today. But much to his amazement, she was cuddled on the couch coloring a piece of drawing from Afnan.

He stared at her from where he lay on the lush carpet, Assad and the twins were already tired of tickling him and were now in the other living room playing.

Her eyes were trained on what she was doing, but he could swear her mind was out of this world. It was somewhere else. Somewhere it shouldn't be. He sighed helplessly and sat up, dragging his feet up and walking out of the house. If only she would let him in. Just once, and he would take away all her worries. If only.

The house was getting fuller and fuller as people started arriving. Ihsan and Iman were dropped off by Maama after they came back from their CBT tutorials. They were preparing for their UME examination which was fast approaching. Hanan and her 9 months old twins, Jawad and Jawhar came right after with the Amarya aka Adda. Ahmad's cousins Badriyya and Yusuf who were Aunt Aseeyah's kids arrived right after. Safiyyah, together with her crush/friend Hammad, brought dessert. Yes! She liked him, a lot but she wasn't sure if he liked her that much. They had become really close friends over the years.

After her little 'drama' with Zarah died down, she fled to Florence to have 'some fresh air' and get her thoughts straight. She couldn't even make it to their wedding because she was so ashamed. She left her diner in the hands of her mother who was more than glad to monitor it for her. Months passed and everything was going great. Hammad finally graduated with 'humble' grades. He never liked school, and was glad for the third class honors. He pursued his dream, being a confectionary chef. He did a six months course in Lagos and returned to Abuja only to be hired at Saf's diner. Safiyyah returned after almost half a year in Florence. One thing led to another and she fell in love with the ice cream cake that was sold in her own diner. She decided to meet the chef one day to give him some thumbs up and Lo and behold, it was Hammad.

They started talking, not the employer and employee style though. Hammad saw the other side of Saf. The book loving chocolate craving crazy kinda girl. She loved licorice and licorice was his second love. She loved cars, and so does he. She loved video games and was a diehard fan of Lionel Messi. They had a lot in common. Their friendship blossomed and before her knew it, they were hanging out a lot and he already took her to greet his mum twice. They were still friends, really good friends but nothing more. Saf badly wants them to take it to the next level but Hammad is not ready. She is still his employer and him, her employee. He needs to make something of himself before he could show his face at the Omar household asking for her hand. Insha Allah.

Shukrah was the last to arrive at the brunch because Lubna and Aziza were in Marrakesh shopping for upholstery, drapes and rugs. Both of them would be getting married in March. She came along with thousands of balloons, snapbacks, birthday cones and a box of knock outs. Ahmad had to seize the box because the moment she lighted one, Jawhar bursted into tears. He hated it when kids cry.

The kids hovered around her and she shared the balloons amongst them while the elders got snapbacks. They took pictures and played ring-a-ring-a-roses. As they had fun in the courtyard and played with their water guns, Badriyya and Fifi set the table in the garden. Safiyyah and Hammad were in charge of barbeque while Ihsan and Iman took care of the Zobo drinks and lemonade.

Zarah tidied the living rooms which were earlier in a mess and put some bakhoor around the house. She gathered the kids and with the help of Hanan, showered them and dressed them up in clean clothes. By the time she was done dressing the birthday boy, her mood has improved drastically. She could hear the happy chatter of the kids as they gather to eat. She laid out Ahmad's favorite black kaftan on the center ottoman of the closet and picked out her clothes too. She slid into the bathroom and after cleaning it, took a quick scrub. She slipped in a sky blue and yellow superwax atamfa which was sown into a gown with beadwork. She dabbed some powder, lip gloss, kohl, eye liner and sprayed herself with her fave Cherry Blossom perfume. Draping a yellow kashka veil on her head, she grabbed her phone and stepped out.

He stood at the foot of the stairs as he watched her every step. Her eyes were trained on her phone as she tapped away, probably replying a message. She looked breathtaking. He felt like walking her back to their room and just keeping her there so he could only look at her all day. He also felt happy that she was wearing makeup and dressing up for the brunch. He was glad she was finally letting go.

Their eyes met as she took the last step and she tried to smile at him.

"I kept your clothes on the ottoman" she said and made for the French glass doors that led to the garden. He quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him. Without a second thought, he planted a soft kiss on the spot between her eyebrows. It was an innocent kiss but it ignited over 935 sensory nerves in her body. She held her breath as his warm lips left her skin. What this guy does to her Oh Ya Rabb!

He stared at her for a while, his eyes mirroring a thousand emotions that were too corrosive for her to absorb. He smiled, gently released his hold on her and walked up the stairs. She stood there for a few seconds, as the warmth of his body engulfed her for a passing moment. Her hands hovered over the keyboard of her phone, and for some seconds, she forgot why she was texting Uncle Eich.

She missed his touch, his gentle touch. His soft good morning kisses and mind shattering liplocks. She missed the way he carries her to the bathroom when she is too lazy to get up for subh prayers. She missed his beautiful Qira'a when he teaches her the Qur'an. She missed his pranks. She missed his laughter, his overwhelming laughter. She missed them. So much.

"Aunty Zarah what are you doing here? The party has already started" Badriyya interrupted her thoughts.

"I was just coming" she quickly said with a smile and walked out. Badriyya chuckled softly. She has just witnessed something that will keep her daydreaming of Maher Zayn for a long time. Oh Allah they are so cute, she thought.

Brunch was amazing.

Fifi spent the whole morning making shepherd's pies, potato korma, Aloo samosas and chicken pepper soup. Maama sent some fluffy Sinasir and Waina with Kunun Gyada to add some traditional touch to the brunch. Everyone ate to their fill. Jokes were shared and laughter erupted. Everyone was happy and jolly. A lot of pictures were taken because Shukrah couldn't take her hands off Yusuf's Nikon D700.

"Ya Ahmad I want this camera please. Like, it's the bomb. Dan Allah ka saya min" she pleaded as she snapped him and Zarah eating from the same plate.

"Ace your exam for the last time Shukr and I'll get you a Leica M10." Ahmad replied as he sipped his kunun gyada.

Shukrah faked a smile and continued snapping away. If only they'll understand. She has been trying and trying, but nothing has changed. She tried to convince everyone that this is not 'her time' but no one will listen. So she gave up trying.

When Zuhr prayer was called, the guys left for the Masjid while the ladies prayed in the house. After then, they tidied up the place and dessert was served. Assad finally cut the cake after smashing the Mercedes miniature on it. He thought it was a toy car and was excited to play with it, but the moment he touched it, his hands were covered in cake and icing. Shukrah took more pictures and they turned out to be amazing. It was a lovely day.

Adda, Hanan and her twins left immediately after Asr while Ihsan and Iman stayed back to help Zarah clean up. Shukrah was spending the night so she helped them do the dishes. Badriyya helped Fifi sort out the birthday gifts in the back of the car. Zarah watched from the window as Ahmad and Hammad chatted happily as he walked him and Saf to her car. How could he smile and laugh with all these people after all what she has done to him? She shut him out and subjected him to a lot of emotional breakdowns, yet he carried his scars with a smile on his face. He has been there in the shadows, waiting for her to trip so he can reach and save her from falling, yet she carried her worries on her shoulders like bags of sugar. How could she be so immature, inhumane, stupid, crazy and at the same time selfish? How could she do this to the man she loved with all ferocity? She must be a monster.

Tears pricked her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She sniffed and adjusted her veil then turned to carry the gift bag that sat on their bed which contained some Arabian perfumes she wanted to give Badriyyah. She met her downstairs, already preparing to leave with her brother. She hugged her goodbye and walked her to the car where Yusuf and Shukrah stood debating on who snapped the best pictures. They also said their goodbyes and drove away.

By Maghreb, the house was left for just the three of them. Ahmad left for the Masjid and Zarah prayed in the guest room where Shukrah would be staying. They talked for a while about nothing and everything before they prayed Isha and finally came downstairs to eat something. Shukrah was craving some Danwake and so she went ahead and started prepping. Ahmad returned from the Masjid later on and Zarah micro-waved the leftover Shepherd's pie for him which he ate heartily. He loved potatoes.

They sat in the living room. While she and shukrah shared a plate of hot danwake laced with boiled eggs and seasoned cucumber slices, Ahmad watched the 9 o'clock news on NTA.

"Shukr how far with the Jamb registration?" Ahmad questioned during the first commercial break.

Shukrah resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She swallowed and licked her fingers before she answered.

"I am not sitting for Jamb this year" she replied with a straight face.

Ahmad's face tightened into a frown. "Meaning?"

She blinked. He doesn't understand English anymore ni?

"Bazan rubuta Jamb dinba wannan shekarar" she said in Hausa.

His face hardened. "I understand your statement young lady. I want you to explain to me why you're not sitting for the exams this year"

She huffed. She was now getting angry. "Isn't it too obvious? I've been trying for four years, and always failing. So I think maybe I should rest this year"

"Rest? Kina hauka ne? In kinga kin huta to kinci exams dinnan ne. (You'll not rest until you pass this exams). Ke ko kunya ma bakya ji? Mates dinki sun kusa gama uni ke har yanzu kina gida (Aren't you ashamed that your mates are almost over with university and you're still at home?)"

That was it. He had punched the wrong button.

She gently removed her hand from the plate and stood up.

"Ya Ahmad I am not ashamed. You know why? Because I know Allah never sleeps"

And with that she sauntered up the stairs, leaving Zarah with a cold meal and a heavy heart.

She swallowed the lumps of danwake along with the bitter one that stuck in her throat. She hated it when he gets angry.

"You didn't have to be so hard on her" Zarah whispered not looking at him. "She is trying. She will make it one day insha Allah. Allah has already willed it. Maybe this is not the right time for her. And if you look on the brighter side, something magnificent awaits her. Ance wani jinkirin alkhairi ne. You guys should all be patient and pray for her. She is not the first person that failed Jamb and she will not be the last."

Ahmad stared at her for a while then scoffed.

"I think you should be saying the same to yourself Zarah. Ba akanki aka fara miscarriage ba kuma ba akanki za'a qare ba." He spat bitterly. He too, stood up and disappeared up the stairs.

She has pushed the wrong button. No. she has been pushing the wrong buttons, and today she pushed too hard and he exploded. She felt a tight pang in her chest, her breaths became heavy and her vision was blurry. Why the tears all of a sudden? She hasn't cried in months! Why now?

She quickly stood up and went to the kitchen. She couldn't finish the remaining danwake and so she cleared the plate and washed the remaining dishes in the sink. She cleaned the kitchen counter, boiled some hot water and filled the flask. She turned off all the lights in the living room and the TV then made her way upstairs. Who should she check up on? The heartbroken sister or the even more heartbroken husband?

She knocked softly on Shukrah's door but there was no answer. She turned the knob and found the door locked. She stood there for a few seconds, hoping she'll come and open the door but nothing happened. She finally gave up and walked to their room. His architectural board lay carelessly on the bed, alongside his other drawing tools. He draws when he is angry or restless. He finds serenity in turning a white sheet into perfect artwork. But today, he couldn't.

She caught the sight of him in one corner of the room prostrating in Sujood. From the way his shoulders shook, she knew he was crying to the All Knowing and The Loving.

She stood there, motionless and undecided on what to do. And just like that, her feet started moving, one after the other. By the time she reached him, he was doing the tashahhud. Her knees met with the lush carpet in a thud and her head rested on his shoulders just as he salaamed.

His hands stilled on his knees as he was caught unawares by her action. She wrapped her hands around his arm like her life depended on it and took deep sighs.

"Zarah are you okay?" he finally found his voice. And those simple words were all she needed to explode into a thousand shades of the Atlantic. Ahmad gasped when he heard the sobs and the warm dampness on his shoulder. Zarah was crying. She was really crying.

"I'm sor....." she hiccupped

"Shshhh!" he shushed her, placing his index finger on her trembling lips. This was not the right time.

He hugged her, gingerly placing her head on his chest right next to his erratic heart. She cried to her heart's content clutching to him like her life depended on him. She cried until there were no more tears in her glands. She cried until her throat hurt. She cried until all the energy inside of her was completely drained. She cried until all the pent up sorrow and agony was gone. She finally cried, and she was glad she did it in his arms.

He gently released his hold on her when he heard her slow breaths. He cupped her face in his warm hands and wiped the remaining streak of tears with his thumb.

"Let's pray" he uttered and she nodded. He got up, passed his hand down and helped her up. He led her to the bathroom and stood behind her as she performed wudu. He collected her Hijab from the closet and draped it over her. She stood a few feet behind him and he led them in Salaah.

Her heart was filled with a thousand emotions and it felt like it was going to dissociate any minute because of how intense those feelings were. Praying behind him was one of the things she had missed and now that she was finally doing it, she couldn't contain the alluring warmness and content she felt.

After their Salaah, he said his Du'as loudly and she replied each one with an 'Aameen'. Shortly after they were done, he excused himself to brush his teeth and change into his pajamas. She did the same too.

She lay beside him, his chest serving as a pillow. His arms draped around her hip lazily and his other hand caressed her hair lovingly. Under the fluffy duvet, their legs were tangled together in a cris cross style. Her eyes were hurting like crazy due to the crying, but she didn't care. She was where she wanted, in his arms.

"Tell me what's on your mind Saheeba" he whispered as he twirled one of her cornrows on his finger.

She sighed and burrowed deep into his chest.

"My heart is hurting like crazy" she stated.

"Why?"

"Because I feel like a wicked person. An immature and selfish wife. I thought I caused you pain, so I avoided you for a while. It was a caution I took to prevent myself from hurting you again. I didn't know I was causing you more pain by doing that"

"Unbearable pain Zarah. Unbearable" he said his breathing ragged. Her eyes became misted again at the sound of his voice. "You have absolutely no idea how I felt every time I wake up and you were not in my arms, serving as my legit comforter. The house was so suffocating without your laughter. Your meals tasted like acid because it wasn't prepared with love. I felt like an orphan who was longing for comfort and solitude. Why did you do that Zarah?

"I'm sorry" her lips trembled. "I didn't want to be a burden anymore"

"Can't you see that I have such big shoulders I can carry you and your burden and even the bed we're laying on all at the same time? Uhm?"

Only Ahmad can make her laugh when her heart is at the brink of crumbling. Only this man could do that.

"Please Hoor, don't ever do that to me again."

"I'm so sorry Ahmad. I didn't mean to hurt you like that wallahi. Please forgive me" the tears have already started falling. He leaned back a little bit so he was now looking back at her. He cupped her face with his hand and gently and sensually kissed her tears away. She tingled at the touch.

"I'll forgive you only when you stop calling my wife a wicked, selfish and immature person" he whispered.

Her trembling lips stretched into a smile. Oh how he missed that beautiful smile.

She nodded in the affirmative.

His lips found the soft spot behind her ear and there too, planted a chaste kiss. "Repeat after me" he whispered huskily and she didn't know how to nod anymore. His lips teased her earlobe as he slowly whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Well she couldn't repeat most of them because she was totally in a different world.

The rest of the night was history.

Salaam. How was the chappy??? This is my first time writing in third person narrative so you have to gimme credit for that. Do vote and comment. Please.

With Love,

MiryamahWrites.