I sat there in shock as the words Hoseok had just spoke replayed in my head over and over again.

"Hoseok I-" but I stopped myself, knowing if I said  something I may regret I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Hoseok let out a breath as he stood up, stumbling slightly. "Just forget I said anything, I'm sorry. I'm drunk and I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry for speaking bad about Seo-Yun. Goodnight y/n." Hoseok says before he disappears through the door.

I sat there trying to wrap my head around everything that had just happened. Hoseok was still in love with me...

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself in disbelief. I didn't know where to go from here. This changed everything.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, it did. I care about Seo-Yun but all I had ever wanted was to be with Hoseok. As much as I cared for Seo-Yun, I cared for Hoseok more.

I know that was awful for me to say and I felt horrible. I had no idea where to go from here. The trip had just began and I was already ready to go.

I didn't know how I was going to make it through the next two days. Not after what just happened here tonight. I was going to go crazy.

That night, I barely made it to bed without my mind racing.
—-
Waking up the next morning memories of last night flooded my head instantly causing me to groan.

Today was going to hell. How was I suppose to face Hoseok after this? Would he even remember with his drunk he was last night? I had no idea.

I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes as I headed for the shower. I made it quick knowing others probably wanted to shower too.

When I was done I made my way out to the kitchen where I saw a couple of the guys and of course, Hoseok.

As soon as he saw me he turned his head in the other direction.

Ouch, that hurts.

Ignoring it, I walked over to the fridge and grabbed out a water bottle before plopping down on the couch beside Tae who was watching something on the tv.

"What were the plans for today?" I asked out to whoever would answer. "I think we're going to the shops to get the stuff for our barbecue tonight. I'm not sure who's all going though." Jungkook says, his eyes never once leaving the screen.

"I want to go for sure." I say, knowing there was a few things I would like to grab. "Why don't you and Hoseok go? You guys can catch up." Jimin grins and I instantly wished he hadn't said anything.

"I'll pass." Hoseok says suddenly, his voice serious. Ouch, again.

I watched as Hoseok stood up and disappeared from the room. So I guess he definitely remembers then...

If this is how he was going to be the whole weekend, it was bound to be uncomfortable.
-
After everyone had woken up we decided on me, Jimin, Yoongi, and Jin to go get the stuff for the barbecue.

Upon arriving at the store I spilt off from the others to get the few things that I wanted. As I was passing one of the isles I saw one of Hoseok's favorite snacks that we use to get all the time back in high school.

Knowing he was in a mood made me feel as if he'd appreciate the nice gesture. Maybe it would make him not be so standoffish with me.

I grabbed the snack and added it to my little basket of items then I made my way back over to the guys.

We finished shopping for everything we needed then we headed back home. As soon as we got back Jin instantly got to cooking while some others joined in to help.

I looked around and noticed Hoseok was no where to be found. I huffed as I grabbed the snack I had bought and headed towards the room he was staying in, hoping to find him there.

Luckily, that's exactly where he was.

I knocked on the door before poking my head inside. "Hey...can I come in?" I ask. Hoseok looked up at me, his eyes scanning my face.

"Yeah sure." He says although he sounded like he didn't want to. I make my way over to him and stand at the edge of his bed. "I got you something." I say as I pull the bag out and hand it to him.

He stared at it for a moment before I saw his lips curve up ever so slightly. "Thank you." Hoseok says before he looks back up at me. "I'm sorry y/n, about last night and earlier. I didn't mean to be so rude I'm just having a hard time." He sighs.

"With what?" I ask although I pretty much knew the answer. "With this, with the situation, all of it. It's too much for me to handle. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. This just sucks."

I sigh as I sit down on the bed beside him. "I know it's confusing. This type of stuff is never easy but you'll get though this."

"It's just that I don't know what to do. Now you know how I feel and there's nothing I can do about it. You have a boyfriend now, you've moved on and that hurts. It kills me. I just don't know what to do." Hoseok sighs. I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Hoseok. I wish things were different..." I say, my heart hurting. "Can't they be? Do you care about me at all? Do you still love me even a little?" He asks, his voice cracking.

I looked over at him, my heart breaking. "Of course I care about you Hoseok. I always have and I always will but-" "But what?" he asks, his eyes sad.

"I can't do that to Seo-Yun. I can't hurt him like that." I say, feeling awful. "But I love you so much." Hoseok's words were shattering me in that moment.

"I love you, too, Hoseok but we can't...I can't. I'm sorry."

"Please, just give me another chance, I'm begging you." Hoseok says before he moves forward, taking me by surprise as he takes my face in his hands.

"Love me again, just like you use to..." He says, his face moving closer to mine then stopping just inches away. Neither of us made a move. I could see Hoseok's eyes trailing down to my lips and it made my stomach do flips.

As I saw him start to lean in more I stood up quickly, knowing I couldn't do this.

"I can't, I'm sorry." I say, my heart breaking all over again. I ran for the door, not being able to be around him anymore.

I needed to get some air. I needed to talk to Seo-Yun and let him know everything that was going on. I felt terrible but I couldn't do that to him, I couldn't hide this.

The phone rang a couple times before he answered. "Hey baby, how is the trip going? Are you having fun?" The sound of his voice made me feel even more upset.

"Yeah, I'm having so much fun." I say, my voice shaking slightly. "Are you okay? You sound like you're about to cry" Seo-Yun says, his voice full of concern.

That's when I break. I told him everything as I cried at the same time. I told him about the talks with Hoseok, I told him about how I felt, I told him everything.

The line was silent and I feared he'd hang up without saying a word. "Please, say something." I say, feeling myself about to cry harder.

"Are you still in love with him, y/n?" Seo-Yun asked. His question made the whole world spin around me. It made me feel nauseous and light headed. I felt sick.

"It's okay, y/n. Just please, tell me the truth." I could hear his voice breaking. I knew he could tell what I was going to say next.

"Yeah, I am."

——
A/n: Hey everyone I just wanted to let you know that I may not be updating as often for the next few weeks to come. I've just been really sad lately and I can feel if getting worse. I'm not at my best mentally and I just need some time...I hope you all understand)):