Dear all,

As I anticipated today, here is the new chapter, and as I already anticipated, it is rather long, intense and filled with different emotions. Why you ask? Because...well, you'll see.

I must tell you this: I did not plan this chapter, as I was working on the following one regarding the Halloween party, but how to say it? This chapter wrote it by itself...it had to be written, especially after leaving Tolya and Oleg in such status in Chapter 14.

I hope you will enjoy it and you know I will be looking forward to reading your comments, messages and opinions :-)

I would like to thank you All as always, because you always overwhelm me with lovely and sweet messages. Thank you!

For this, I would like to dedicate the chapter to all of you, in particular to marie_luu, as a special thanks for your messages and for keeping reading my stories :-)

Now, I have posted a picture of Anatoly (--> obviously handsome Alexander Ludwig) where he shows a rather peculiar smile: I will let you guess who took the picture ^_^ As for the song, I thought that "Somewhere I Belong" from Linkin Park perfectly fits this chapter and its contents. I would like to say this: Chester Bennington, RIP. You will be missed by many.

And now, please enjoy the new chapter and let me know what you think about it!

"And I just can't keep living this way, so starting today I'm breaking outta this cage. I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons," by Eminem in "Not Afraid".

OLEG POV:

When I woke up, the rain had not stopped and outside the sky was still dark. It was early as usual, for the simple reason my body was used to it and made it into a habit. I kept on my bed listening to the sound of rain against the window and then, my eyes slowly moved to the sleeping figure of Anatoly. A quiet and quick laugh left my mouth as I witnessed the way in which he was sleeping: he had of course occupied most of the bed, resting on his belly with his head touching my shoulder, throwing his legs wide apart, one arm around my torso and the other angled in an odd way over his head. How could he sleep in such way? Twice he had waked me up during night with his trashing around. Once he had literally hit me with his elbow as he moved around mumbling in his dreams. I said nothing and simply pushed him away gently, trying to not wake him up. Sleeping beside this punk here could be a challenging experience in terms of getting real slumber.

There was nothing urgent on my schedule today, thus I decided to indulge in this moment for longer than usual. He moved a bit, muttering something unintelligible in his sleep, and his arm tightened the grip on me, his fingers almost digging into my flesh. I took a deep breath to moderate and control the sudden emotion moved from his gesture and from the thought of what had happened yesterday. I closed my eyes and took another breath. The moment that piece of trash threatened Anatoly with a gun, I felt as if someone had carved my heart out with bare hands. I swear that it was a split decision not to kill him. It took that rationality long gained and hardly trained to rule my personal emotions. I could have terminated all them with my hands and feel no regret.

They had not only threatened and hurt Anatoly, but I remembered clearly one of the policemen explaining they were wanted for having killed two people on street with their motorbikes, not realizing they even did that, given they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. An image from my past surfaced in my mind: the priest of the village along with an officer knocking on our door, having to explain to our family a rather difficult truth. My father had passed out on the sofa after having drunk himself unconscious, as apparently he did nothing else since he came back from the war. I resented that man and now it made me laugh to think I was deadly scared of him. But I was only a useless and scared, young brat. I still knew nothing. I was there alone with my grandmother and my very young sister, and for a moment it felt as if my world had been shattered.

I shook my head and heaved out a long breath. Pathetic, Lt. Azarov. Years had passed since then and I had not been a stainless saint, either. Over reviewing and thinking about the past did not bring anything good or useless, because it was already gone and buried away. It only subtracted energy and force for more important and necessary things; this was one of the reasons I pushed Anatoly in stopping to be distressed over his past. It was gone and behind his back.

That episode with those five vermin left me restless and disappointed at myself for not having calculated such possible scenario. How could it have slipped from my attention and mind? Of course Anatoly had a past in the gang and I should have taken more effective precautions. First of all, we had to change or somehow modify his motorbike, because last night made it clear that it attracted undesired and dangerous attention. It was very good and convenient that those two police officers owed me and Mr. Denisov a great favour, which was returned by not asking questions and simply taking that garbage away.

Anatoly slipped closer to me and I inclined my head to observe him more. My arm automatically moved around him, careful to not wake him up, and he instinctively adjusted to it. Last night it took long time for me to finally find some sleep, because his words kept echoing in my mind, reverberating emotions that had always been very foreign to me. Very foreign to me until I met Anatoly. What would he think of me knowing my past? I shook my head and reprimanded myself for the rather ridiculous and laughable moment of weakness.

His words made it very clear for me that I had underestimated his feelings: I had been completely shallow and extremely limited in my analysis. He had not superficial feelings and attachment born out of mere gratitude from what happened in the past months. Anatoly had real, deep and obviously acknowledged feelings. Last night there was no doubting or wavering in his words and in his eyes; he might have burst it out in the heat of the moment, something very typical for him, but he meant it entirely. It was the first time in my life that someone completely threw my mind blank for a few seconds; he had no idea what his words moved into me.

In that moment I felt it completely shredding apart and I knew we had stepped that thin line completely, leaving it far behind us. His words felt like a grenade being exploded inside of me, feeling every single split hitting a target; we bore the same emotions and fears, the same self-limitations and suppression. Until it exploded right in our hands. What I told him was the pure truth, because last night made me bitterly and viciously taste the crude reality: I did not want to lose Anatoly and of course, he managed to pull it out from me in his very reckless and peculiar way. Anger and fear pushed us to talk in a way, and I did not regret it.

I did not regret my words, or my gesture.

Regretting it would mean to deny what burnt into me, the attachment that developed into unexpected love; and it would mean hurting him to points that I would not allow. It would also mean to walk back and break my word: I would rather shoot myself in my leg than betray the trust he had in me. However I had never expected Anatoly to share the same feelings and the same depth, and last night he had been very straightforward and clear in that.

For a moment, I felt like tearing apart every cloth that was between our skins, for I violently desired to feel physically close to him. But not yet and not in such way. He felt the same and it was there open and loud in his eyes, in the way they pierced me, in the way he breathed erratically. That was the reason I reminded him to not test my control, because I was not certain I could pull back if he would actually act in his usual impulsive and irrational way. But yes, as I promised him last night, I was not going anywhere, for I understood that he feared my pulling back and regretting what happened.

Even after having considered all the wrong points in this, the possible consequences and reactions, my once imposed and obviously broken limits, I did not regret the words spoken to him and I did not regret to indulge in more physical closeness. Allowing myself to linger that soft and intimate touch on his forehead gave me incredible peace and serenity. The words he shouted at me slowly allowed me to make peace with my conflicted self and torn conscience, because Anatoly was not confused. It felt as if the cage that kept me captive for very long time had been suddenly blown apart, its bars destroyed.

I was not superficial to believe that we stood in a simple situation, for I was aware we had important points to sort out and manage. This explained the reason for the restrains I imposed on myself, for wanting to proceed with calm and caution; Anatoly needed time to adjust to this, even if he had no doubts and it was clear how he had sorted his feelings out. However, it felt proper and right to give him time, even if it cost an unexpected effort. His words had indeed fuelled the desire scorching in my blood, pushing my attachment and feelings on a different degree.

I indulged longer in bed, simply listening to the sound of the rain and to Anatoly's quiet, peaceful breathing. However, after a while I had to move, given it was very unusual to lie in bed in complete indolence and inactivity; even when I lived in my house in Siberia, I woke up early in the morning to help my grandmother, and to enjoy rare moments of illusory peace. I went to get up being careful not wake him up and, after having washed my face, I decided to go for a run outside in the rain.

When I came back from the run, Anatoly had just woken up and he was sitting on the bed with a rather drowsy face. His eyes widened as I stepped in the room wearing a pair of shorts only, after having left the drenched clothes in the laundry. Mrs. Denisov had been extremely kind with me by letting me use their laundry whenever I had the need for it. We shared a silent and long look, and then he glanced away a moment, obviously trying to decide what to do and what to say. My guess from his behaviour was that he feared a possible regret from my side. It made me unconsciously smile and once more, it gave me the proof that yes, we were similar in many aspects, but we still had a lot to understand about one another.

"Good morning, Anatoly," I calmly said as I walked to the bed.

"Morning," he replied short studying my expression and trying to read into my eyes. He then registered the wet hair and an expected sarcastic remark left his mouth. "You went out running in this freaking weather? Man, you're not normal."

"I like to run in the rain," I explained as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

He swallowed down and I felt his raw stare travelling my body, studying the line of my inks and then returning to my eyes. Silent once more filled the room and the air around us cracked of unleashed and primal electricity, because it became evident to me that we both experienced a rather deep and consuming desire. It slipped around us and it made the room seeming too narrow, sucking the oxygen out of our lungs. Anatoly moved closer to me and I simply observed him, for I judged it best to not act in order to keep myself under a certain degree of control and restrain.

Did this punk have an idea of the power he had on me? I doubted he did, and I doubted even more I was going to reveal him the information in any near future.

Anatoly sat right in front of me and his eyes looked wary, holding a cautious expression. He studied me for longer time and I let him, not wanting to fuel any possible impulsive reaction between us. His hand ran over his hair and he let out a rather irritated growl, shaking his head at some thoughts that had crossed his mind, judging by his actions.

"What is it, Anatoly?" I asked him, as making him talk was the best way to distract him and to make him share with me whatever passed his mind. He often described me as cryptic, but he also held his enigmatic sides rather guarded, making it not as easy as I wished to read him.

In all answer, Anatoly rested his hand on my left arm and his fingers drew the lines of my ink, while his eyes concentrated on those patterns. I commanded myself to not move and I imposed my blood the necessary coolness. His fingers then moved up to the tattoo I made when I was in the Army, but this time they also slowly traced the lines of my muscles. My eyes closed for a brief moment as my body indulged in his touch and savoured it in its fullness; it was a very simple gesture, but he rendered it something that threaten to tear those strings completely apart. When I re-opened my eyes, our stares crossed and it was obvious we were both walking on the edge of the knife.

"Anatoly," I warned him, but he did not halt from touching my skin.

"It's fucking difficult having to control...I have no idea how you manage it so well," he said while he shook his head, still lingering his hand on my arm.

"It is not as effortless as you might think. What did I tell you last night?"

Awareness drowned on him and so he pulled his hand away.

"You are not pulling back?" However he asked and I had to refrain from smirking at this question. So, just as I had guessed, that was the real problem for him. When would he be able to completely and fearlessly trust me?

"No, Anatoly."

"Not taking the usual hundred steps back?" He enquired more, evidently wanting to test me and understand if I would change my mind.

"No," I simply said and my hand went to rest on the back of his neck, letting my fingers slowly caress his hair. Our foreheads touched and in that moment, his eyes closed for a brief instant. When they re-opened, they held a genuine but not very open smile. "Are you taking steps back, Anatoly?" I asked him back on purpose, to reinforce my previous answer.

"I'm not taking any freaking step back, Oleg," he replied, holding my eyes with his.

"Then do not worry," I said while I moved back to better stare at him, but not letting go of him. "As I told you last night, I am not going anywhere."

He nodded and then appeared lost in some inner thoughts, probably replying my words in his mind.

"Yeah, last night you said that," he confirmed and this time it was me that moved closer to him, cupping my hand on his neck stronger and looking straight to his eyes. In the motion, I had pulled his face only an inch far mine and he swallowed down, revealing an expression of surprise.

"Anatoly, why do you not trust me completely? I told you already that I am not going anywhere and I do not intend to break my promise to you," I explained with calm, but firm voice.

"I do fucking trust you, Oleg," he burst out as his temper flared at my provocation. His eyes once more held that confident and burning light and I loved to see it in there. The very small distance between us was closed by him, as he let his forehead touch with mine, while his hand moved on my hair. It was the first time Anatoly touched me in such soft way, so my body and mind cherished that moment dearly. We exchanged a glance that spoke many unsaid words. "I trust you."

"If you do trust me as you say, do not worry about anything. Am I understood?" My authoritarian and curt tone ticked him off in some degree, but it was the only way to instil the concept in his stubborn head. He stayed still and silent for a moment, and then he rewarded my patience with a quick smile.

"Sir, yes sir."

"Immature brat," I said smirking in my usual way.

"Impassive bastard," he retorted back, still smiling. "Well, I don't know you, but I'm freaking hungry."

"I am, too." I glanced at the clock on my desk. "I will quickly shower and then I can prepare something."

"I can prepare breakfast for myself," he fired out and for the umpteenth time it was clear that this punk here was not yet comfortable at the idea of people taking care of him. I related to this trait very well and I understood how he felt, yet it would not change the fact that taking care of him was part of my selfish desire to spend time in his company.

"I do not mind to prepare breakfast, Anatoly," I only said and he seemed to remember what we talked about last night while we ate dinner, because he nodded and he tried to repress another content and shy smile.

ANATOLY POV:

I took a quick shower in my bathroom for two freaking reasons. First of fucking all, I damn needed to calm down a moment, because I swear I was about to throw him flat on the bed to feel his hard lips on mine, his rough hands on my skin and freak me, I knew none of us was there yet. For a matter of fact, I didn't have the slightest idea where we freaking stood. Ha...why I had to get involved in complicated crap every time? I let out a loud breath and laughed at myself, because I was getting on my own nerves. I had just told to Oleg that I did trust him and I freaking did. He told me not worry about anything and yeah, I had to start to man up and relax. However, he was not going alone into this, even if I knew he wanted to. Well, good fucking luck with that.

The water of the shower helped me in cooling down and I felt better, because it gave me some minutes to think about everything that happened. After last night, after the words that we threw at each other out of anger and worry, if felt as if the bars of many of my fears had been knocked down. Yeah, I had no idea how it was going to be, but I had sent my doubts out of the damn window. I had been damn scared that all of this would throw me in some other chaos and that it might compromise the delicate balance I had finally re-built with my family; well, strangely enough, being with that man only made me feel inner peace and strength. Those fears somehow melted away.

There was nothing wrong in having feelings for him and I wonder if he thought the same. But never mind that: I wanted Oleg and I wasn't anymore pathetically and shitless scared to admit that I loved him. I wanted Oleg and I would never ever give up on him. When he stepped in front of the gun, it fucking hit me like a train at full speed: I'd rather jump in front of him and get shot than let it happen to him. But the bastard can be infuriating with his Super Man acts and argghh...I had to cool down once more.

When I walked in the kitchen, he was there waiting for me and shit, I felt as if something had clawed my guts and played with it. It would take time to get used to spend normal time with this man, seeing him normally dressed and behaving like a normal human being. Right...not matter what he kept saying, Oleg wasn't a normal human being and the fact he could stand there so motionless and quiet proved it even more. I smirked at the thought and he caught it, assessing me with his usual hard eyes. It inflamed me in a way that made my hands itching to touch him more and he read into me, given the amused and dark smirk he gave me. Infuriating bastard.

"The shower did not cool your temper, I see," he said while he approached me and fuck, why he had to be dressed in that way? Wasn't he ever cold? Oh right...let's talk about temperature, because I felt like liquefying right then. Crap! He wore a rather comfortable pair of jeans that still clung on his ass in a way that triggered my imagination beyond healthy limits, and then a black wife-beater, which let out his muscles and tattoos in complete and damning view.

"Don't you ever feel cold?" I retorted back, avoiding replying to his comment.

"No, I hardly feel cold. I am used to it. If you remember, I come from Siberia," he calmly explained and that made the trick to cool me down. I wanted to know more about him and I had questions about last night.

"Tell me more about yourself, about your life as soldier, about..." I stopped and looked away. "Sorry, I don't mean to annoy you or invade your personal space, or yo..." he stopped my retarded blabbering by smiling and resting his hand on my hair, slowly stroking it with his fingers.

"You do not invade my personal space, Anatoly. As a matter of fact, you already did and you know that I do not mind it. What do you want to know about me? For now, I will answer what I can, is it a deal?" I nodded and relished in his touch.

I closed my eyes a moment and then something hit me: Oleg was more at ease in touching me in such soft and intimate way than I was. I was ready to tear his clothes away, but I was still a bit afraid of approaching him with such small and tender gestures. God...he was right in everything. I indeed needed some time to adjust, because let's face, too much happened in these months. My eyes shot open and fixed on his dark wells, while his fingers still moved in my hair.

I took a deep breath and pushed my bratty and pathetic fear: my fingers went to touch the scars he had on his left eye that somehow continued on his neck. Oleg didn't pull back, simply moved his hand away from my hair to give me more space. He had freaking read into me. He didn't move and let my fingers trace the thick lines of the scars, then slowly stirring to his hair. Something softened his severe eyes for a brief moment and his head imperceptibly inclined in my touch. This man was not used to such gestures and now I could clearly see it.

"You're not much used to this, right?" I asked studying his face.

"No, I am not," he confirmed with even voice, while his eyes left me out of breath for the intensity of their stare. "I never allowed anybody to be so close with me, in this very personal way."

"Have you ever had..." I didn't know if to dare the question or not, but I wanted to know. I had to know. "Have you ever had a man, I mean...someone that.." He took pity of the brat I was and replied not waiting for me to formulate the entire issue.

"If I ever had a partner, Anatoly? You wanted to ask this?" I nodded and his lips curved in what was an unreadable expression. "No. I never really had a real partner. I kept my sexuality private for many years for obvious reasons and anyway, I did not need people to be close to me. I always believed in that."

"Never?" I asked in disbelief and he immediately caught my meaning, giving me a smirk that zeroed my thinking.

"I had met another soldier that held my same orientation and we spent some time together when we felt like it, which was rather little and short. Obviously it was kept secret and very private." I hated to hear that and my face clearly showed it, as my blood became restless. I didn't like to hear this about Oleg; I didn't like to think about another asshole touching him. My fingers reacted out of instinct following my thoughts, and the grip on his short, dark hair tightened. He did not miss it and another unreadable expression formed on his face. "Anatoly, it is in the past and it did not last very long. I was never really driven to sex very much, which explains the reasons why I decided to stop our encounters. It might have given me some immediate physical apparent release, but gave nothing more and made me wanting for nothing more."

If his words at first fuelled what was evident and rather embarrassing jealousy, in a second moment they dropped everything completely still and mute inside my mind and heart. Oleg and I were so similar that I finally understood that line spoken by Catherine about Heathcliff: "He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same". We had a very similar experience, because hadn't I behaved in the same way with Vince? I wasn't in love with him and I did not desire him in a way that could be remotely compared to the way I desired Oleg. His stare pierced me and I knew he had understood what I was thinking about.

"I know what you mean, Oleg. I think it was the exact same thing I had with Vincent." His eyes hardened a moment and I swallowed down. I doubted this man felt the same jealousy that coursed in my blood, but I also doubted he enjoyed to hear about my rather careless past in terms of sex. "I mean, I didn't mean to.." He stopped me once more.

"It is in our past, Anatoly."

"Yeah, you are right," I said looking a moment away. Then something he said before triggered my rather suicidal curiosity and of course, I talked before connecting my brain. "What did you mean by saying that you were never really driven to sex?" That struck me completely, because in a few moments we had together, it felt the complete opposite. Desire was damn thick and suffocating that it felt like pure and burning lust. Unless, I had being an idiot and misunderstood or...

"It means what it exactly means: I never was much into sex. It never really drove me to it. It was something I experienced without feeling it completely. If felt rather empty." I grew nervous at his words and he immediately saw it. His hand reached for mine that held his hair and, for a very brief moment, our fingers entwined together. The intense, commanding dark light in his eyes nailed my entire body on the spot. "But do not misunderstand me, Anatoly," he said with rather hard and deep voice, moving closer to me. The scent of his skin...fuck..."I never had the need to control or restrain myself. Not until now." A chill of overwhelming and raw excitement travelled my body, mixed with a touch of what seemed to be childish fear. How would this man be in bed? My mouth went dry and I couldn't swallow down. And I wanted to throw him down on the bed? His eyes told me something completely different. Fuck...he really felt the same devouring and insane lust that I did. "Very good: you seemed to having understood me completely, Anatoly." I could only barely nod. He pulled back and observed me for a few seconds. "What else do you want to know? Shall I tell you while I prepare something to eat?"

"Yeah," I only managed to utter.

Oleg walked to the fridge and I followed his every step with my eyes, unable to look anywhere else. He searched for food in there and then asked me what I wanted to eat. In that moment, anything was damn fine for me. I violently shook my head because I needed to move my ass and stop behaving like a brat. But damn...I wanted that man and I couldn't wait to completely unleash his restrains. I shoved that thought away and rolled my shoulders, trying to relax.

"I can make coffee in the meanwhile and I know that mum baked a cake for us the other day. Do you want a slice, until our food is ready? I'm freaking hungry." Mum yesterday told me that she had made an apple pie for us three, afraid we would not have enough food. The mere thought made me smile.

"Yes, thank you. Even though I do not normally eat sweets for breakfast, your mother had been very kind to bake something."

As I prepared the coffee, remembering he took it completely dark, we talked more and he told me that he made an appointment for my tattoos. However, more questions bugged me and I had to ask him about last night: how come those two men, probably cops, came over like that without asking many questions? And as he spoke to them, I noticed how his expression grew even harder and somehow more enraged.

"Who were those two men that you called last night?" I asked as I went to cut two slices of cake; he turned around and thought about something.

"Two policemen that owed a big favour to Mr. Denisov and I." As usual, the cryptic bastard did not waste too many words in explanation.

"What do you mean?" I asked more.

"It is something that happened two years ago, nothing to worry about. I called them knowing they would not refuse me help and, indeed they did not ask unnecessary questions. I consider the debt repaid." Alright, I wasn't going to get more details, so I gave up on pressing for more information. He probably had his own reasons. But something else was still eliciting my thirst to know more about this man.

"Can I ask you something that might be personal?"

"Dah," he only replied, never breaking eye contact.

"When you spoke to them last night and they explained something, you seemed even more mad than you already were...why so?" Oleg kept silent and I could tell he did not expect me noticing that.

"You are becoming more observant," his deep and composed voice said. I did not counter-debate, but managed to stay patient and wait for his explanation. Of course, if he freaking wished to give it at all. He turned around and moved to the stove, something that made my temper boil, feeling like he had ignored me. I went to open my mouth, but his words shut me up completely; his words made me feel a piece of shit. "I told you last night that those five pieces of trash were wanted for having killed two people with their motorbikes possibly under the influence of drug or alcohol. They killed those two persons and probably did not even realise that they did. They did not stop to give them aid or call for it." His voice kept void of emotions as he spoke, levelled and revealing nothing of what might have passed by his mind. Same for his face, as he turned back to look directly at me. "My mother had been killed by a truck driver that was under a considerable influence of alcohol. He did not even see her walking on the side of the street. He did not stop. They caught him after when he crashed against an electricity pole."

His words sipped into my brain and completely dried everything out of me. A terrible bitter taste invaded my mouth and I felt almost sick. I breathed deeply and erratically, while past images painfully surfaced in front of my eyes. How could he calmly talk to me like that? How could he give me so fucking much knowing how I had behaved? My feet moved instinctively and I stopped beside him, keeping my eyes lowered to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Oleg."

"Many years passed, Anatoly, and I was very young. It is in the past."

"But I'm so damn sorry...how can you fucking talk to me like this? How can you look at me, knowing what the fuck I did, what..." I dropped silent at the mere sight of eyes burning and dark eyes. Their intensity almost crushed me.

"Do not dare to lower yourself at their level." His hand painfully closed around my shoulder. "Do not dare to compare yourself to those worthless pieces of human trash." His voice was livid. "Do not do it, Anatoly. Do you listen to me?" I kept completely still and quiet. "Do you listen to me? Anatoly."

"I listen to you, but..."

"Have you ever done something like that? Have you ever sunk to such level? Regret almost ate you alive, Anatoly. I do not want to hear a word about such nonsense any more. Am I understood?" Fuck...I had been a gigantic idiot. I had been the usual immature and pathetic brat I was.

"Sorry, Oleg. Sorry for...you know what I mean." His touch softened and then he pulled me close to him, letting his arm firmly rest on my shoulders.

"That is one of the reasons I am not so keen about telling you my past. I have some memories that are not very pleasant, and the last thing I want is to trigger some wrong emotions and resentment into you. She died when I was a very young boy, and believe me: it is buried in the past."

"But I made you talk about something so personal and painful...I'm a fucktard and I know it, but I just want to know more about you," I confessed, closing my arms around him.

"And you will learn everything about me, you have my word." I nodded and thanked him. I needed to become a better man, because I did not plan to have him taking care of me all the time. It was maddening, aside being damn pitiful. I had to become a better person, so maybe, even a man like Oleg would someday perhaps rely on me. "Anatoly, you can ask me whatever you want, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, thanks." I indeed wanted to ask more, but for now, I decided to pipe my curiosity down and give this man here a break. I pulled back and cracked my neck, as if chasing those moronic questions away. I tried my best in pulling out my usual arrogant, punkish smirk. "So, what's on the menu for breakfast, Mary Poppins?"

Oleg shot me quite the dark glare and then gave me one of his most infamous and damn-arousing smirks.

"Immature punk," he murmured, going to search for a pan. "Hand me the eggs I saw in the fridge. I will prepare them in the way my grandmother used to."

At his last words, my smirk faded into a childish smile that I tried to hide with all my might, miserably failing. An idea flashed in my mind and I valued for a while whether to risk it or not. Fuck that: I decided to go for it.

"I have read about a Russian war movie that seems good, 'The Brest Fortress'," I said, studying his face and reaction.

"I have heard about it, too." Oleg halted his eyes on me a moment and the bastard caught my intent immediately, now waiting to see if I had the guts to ask him what he had already guessed.

"Do you feel like watching it, maybe later, if you're free from your usual boring duties?" Alright, alright...I still had to work on my very mature manners, but at least I managed to ask him. He just smirked at me in his usual maddening way and I felt like saying something smart, but he replied faster.

"Dah, we can watch it later."

DMITRI POV:

I woke up almost rolling down from my bed, dreaming of hugging my kitty and such, but damn, it was just a dream and my Jasper wasn't there with me. That annoying and stuck-up sergeant he had for mother did not allow him to spend the night with me and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes in front of her. Man, I just wanted to spend time with my hot and super sweet boyfriend...but it was also true today I should be preparing for a test I had in a week.

Argh...college was quite a pain in the ass, because we had to study a lot and the professors there were so stuck-up. I groaned and checked the time...and then I fell down from the bed.

"It can't be this early," I grunted as the clock showed the time.

I scratched my hair and went back to bed in the hope to fall asleep once more. Obviously it didn't work, as I found myself tossing around trying to find a comfortable position. I would fall asleep without problems if I had my kitty here with me...well...maybe we would first go for a quick one and then...oh great. I got hard just thinking about that and so then I was wide awake.

"I wonder if Tolya is up already," I thought aloud as I brushed my teeth and washed my face.

I went to check in his bedroom, but it was empty, so was he already up? Hard to think that, but maybe he went out with his bike, but err...in this weather? I scratched my hair and yeah, my moronic twin would actually enjoy riding his Ninja out in this weather and man, I swear that I would never want to be there with him. He drove like a maniac. My stomach loudly grumbled and it reminded me that I was freaking starving.

"Time to stuff my mouth!"

I went to step in the kitchen but the voices speaking in there stopped me dead at the door. Tolya and Oleg were in there and even someone like me could feel the unusual and rather intimate atmosphere created around those two. It wasn't my lack of food that made me hallucinate, right? No, no...It really was those two talking like it was the most normal thing.

I think my mouth fell open like a retarded dofus about to catch flies with it, and I then I felt like bursting out laughing out loud. To think I was teasing Tolya all this time about him and that scary man over there and now look, well...I mean, oh man. That was priceless! They were there normally talking about...I had not the slightest idea about what, because my brain could register one thing at time only. But they were there normally talking and that scary and always totally silent dude was there cooking something, while my twin brother comfortably stood beside him wearing a pair of sweatpants and tee-shirt, sipping coffee. My brain almost exploded.

The atmosphere around them was different than usual, because they looked relaxed, at complete ease, especially Tolya. Even Oleg looked more human than usual, wearing normal clothes, and having a normal conversation. I blinked a couple of times and closed my mouth. They looked comfortable around each other and I haven't seen my brother in such easy-going way in very long time.

Err...what the hell was going on?

I kind of felt out of place by being there and I considered whether turning around and leave them alone, because...oh crap. Leaving them alone? Oh wow...so my jokes were right after all? I mean, Tolya actually liked that huge beast over there? This was priceless and I felt like laughing my ass off, if only just to tease him. But...but for once in a while, I kept quiet and behaved. The face Tolya had when he explained us all what happened years ago flashed in front of my eyes; I would never forget those haunted and scared eyes. I had never seen my brother in such state.

I scratched my hair, deciding what to do, but obviously Oleg felt my presence before I could decide anything, or God knows what, he might have had Jedi powers for all I knew. He turned around and greeted me in his usual inexpressive and composed way. Man, I felt like an idiot for simply standing there with what probably was a really idiotic-looking face.

"Good morning, Dmitri," he only said with hard and calm voice.

At his words, my brother's shoulders stiffened and I could see how he slowly turned around to look at me with a face that reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights. I shrugged and decided to play cool; I owed it to Tolya.

"Morning, Oleg. Hey, Tolya!" He simply inclined his head and then went back checking what he was preparing and my brother observed me, almost daring me to say something. I just smiled at him and then went to sit, but, err...wasn't I being like a third wheel here? "Err...can I have breakfast here?" I asked without thinking twice, because it felt freaking weird to be there. I mean, nothing strange in normally talking, alright, but with Oleg? And in the morning having breakfast together? Oh Lord, my brain was gearing up too fast as first thing in the morning. I needed to eat something.

Tolya rolled his eyes and then went to fill a mug with coffee.

"From the look in your face, you need coffee. You look even more retarded than usual," he said handing me a cup of coffee. "Isn't it too early for you?"

"I fell down from the bed," I replied at first and he started to laugh at me.

"Are you serious?"

"I was dreaming of hugging my kitty and it felt so good, and then we wer..." He stopped me by slapping my neck.

"I honestly don't need to know what you were doing with your chipmunk in your dreams. I still have to eat, so don't ruin my appetite." I decided to ignore the "chipmunk" and I eyed Oleg still there preparing what I believe it was some sort of omelette and I didn't miss my brother's cautious look directed at me. We stared at each other a quick moment in silence and I cracked a big, idiotic smile. This was priceless, but not my business. He shook his head and went to the oven. "Mum baked this for us, do you want a slice?"

"Oh God, yes please. I'm freaking starving. We have got cream and jam, right?" I groaned and Tolya smiled at me in his usual way.

"Dmitri, what would you like to eat?" I almost spilled the coffee on myself when Oleg directly spoke to me, assessing me with his hard eyes. Tolya really did manage to have a normal conversation with this man here? Oh well, not that my twin was the complete normal nut case, but alright, let's leave it.

"Err, no thanks, I mean, I will just make a sandwich or eat the cake or..."

"Give up, bro. Just tell Mary Poppins here what you prefer to eat." At my brother's joke, Oleg sent him quite the dark look and Tolya snorted. "What? I'm just joking." He turned his attention back to me and asked me again what I wanted, but to be honest, in that moment my mind had a complete blonde moment. I decided to settle for cake and coffee.

"Get the plates ready," Oleg ordered him in a quick tone and my twin simply went for them, without retorting back with his usual cutting sarcasm.

I drank more coffee sitting there and looking at them. Oleg sat with us and silently ate his breakfast in our company, but man...I really felt like a third wheel. All I could do, to keep my mouth shut and avoid any moronic and obviously out of place joke, was to stuff it with mum's amazing apple pie and drink coffee. Anatoly's look spoke enough before and I remembered he gave me the same silent request to keep my mouth shut around two weeks ago, or something like that. So, he really liked this man? Well, thinking about it, I could picture a man like Oleg with my brother, because he sure needed some badass that knew how to tame his temper. I wolfed down more cake, as questions popped in my mind.

"Didn't you say you have to study for a test?" Tolya asked out of the blue and I looked surprised not remembering I had told him that. "Dima, don't make that face. On Monday you told me that you have a test in a week or so."

"Really? I completely forgot," I grinned while I put jam and cream on the cake. "Do you wanna try?" I offered him.

"Jam and cream together?" He said eyeing my plate with suspicion, but then shrugged. "Why not?" He stole a huge piece and I groaned annoyed because I was still hungry, so I stole a piece of his omelette. "Oh sweet Lord...this is awesome," I said and without thinking twice, I spoke to Oleg. "Can I have one, too?"

"Yes," he only answered, and after having finished his food, he went to cook one for me.

Tolya shot me a look and then shook his head, and I wondered if maybe he minded that, because well, maybe he was jealous? I chuckled thinking about that, and he darted at me another rather dirty glare.

"What?" I asked. "Do you mind that?"

He face-palmed and snorted out loud.

"Can you be more moronic?"

"Look who's talking," I grinned at him and he crossed his arms in front of him, throwing at me a rather smart-ass like smirk.

"I bet you need help for the test, right?" I groaned annoyed thinking about it, because I had almost forgot.

"I almost forgot about that...I wanted to ask you to play some game together." Tolya stared at me a moment without saying anything and then shook his head, passing a hand on his forehead.

"Honestly, I feel more sympathy for Jasper, because man, being with a dofus like you must be quite the pain in the ass," he teased and I waved my eyebrows ready to catch on with a joke, but he guessed it immediately, and literally shoved a piece of cake in my mouth. "Just freaking eat, Dima, will you?"

I swallowed down the piece of cake and then we both burst out laughing. Man...I had really missed this. I was so happy the old Tolya was back. I couldn't care less if he liked an old and scary dude like Oleg, as long as he made him feel as my twin brother was supposed to be. I mean, he wasn't that old, was he? How old was he actually? I couldn't remember precisely, but I knew something over thirty. Oh well, whatever.

ANATOLY POV:

I hadn't expected Dima to wake up that early, and for a moment I completely felt like disappearing in the kitchen; Oleg kept his usual impassive composure and he simply greeted my brother as if nothing happened. But for a few seconds I sweat bullets, clearly reading the questions and jokes flashing on Dima's face. I could tell he went through some major shock and I bet his brain pretty much short-circuited: I knew him well and he could conceal nothing.

However, he freaking surprised me by keeping his mouth shut and avoiding moronic comments or jokes; he just looked at me furrowing his brows, trying to guess whatever the hell his mind was somehow elaborating. I offered him help with his test, because I knew he would have failed it otherwise, and I knew he would have had questions. And I was damn right, since the moment we closed the door of his bedroom behind us, he let them all at once. Honestly, I began to like and respect Jasper more and more. Yet, my brother looked at my face and then apologised for all the questions. Yeah, that chipmunk was having a good effect on this dofus here.

"Sorry Tolya, I didn't mean to be a jerk with all the questions, but I mean...oh man, do you like Oleg? You don't have to answer if you don't want, really. I won't be a pain in the ass and don't worry, I won't say a word to anyone, not even to Jas. I mean, I know how you are and that you keep things a bit for yourself, so you know..."

I sighed out loud and sprawled on his bed, staring at the ceiling as I tried to think what to tell him. Oh whatever, for crying out loud. He was my brother and for once, he hadn't behaved in his usual tactless self. What had that impassive bastard repeated over thousand times? That I should trust and rely on my friends and on family much more. I guess I could give it a try.

"What if I like him?" Obviously I couldn't answer in a normal way, but it was already enough effort.

"You do?" Dima looked at me with wide eyes and his mouth almost hanging open. "Tolya, are you fine? I mean, didn't you eat or don't know, try some weird stuff?"

"What do you mean?" I immediately replied going on the defensive mood.

"I meant that you're actually telling me such thing without minding it," he explained and I suddenly relaxed, feeling a complete jerk for having doubted my brother that easily. His questions gave me the wrong idea that he found the whole situation crazy, even though I knew it myself already. "Bro, I don't care if you like that scary and old dude, it's your business, but wow, for you to tell me such thing...this is priceless, believe me." He grinned at me in that usual open way and it affected me, because my lips tugged up in a smile.

"He's not that old, Dima," I felt like saying, even though, shit, he actually was almost fifteen years older than me. Fuck, why I never went for easy things?

"Man, you sure don't like to go for easy stuff," he burst out laughing and I groaned realizing my brain had just paired with his. Fuck...this wasn't a good sign. "How old is he anyway?"

"Are you serious? He'll turn thirty-four in December."

He kept quiet for a couple of seconds and I could see the gears of his brain elaborating that piece of news; and of course, he started to laugh like a maniac, almost rolling down from the chair where he was sitting.

"Hahaha...hahah...sorry Tolya, but honestly...hahaha....but yeah, he sure is freaking huge and ripped."

Yeah, but he had no idea how that was right and I swear, I needed to check on my hormones, because this morning I was very close to doing something very stupid...but fuck...he was there wearing a pair of shorts only, his hair drenched by the rain, his tattoos glistening with drops of sweat, his skin strained over his muscles looking even more pumped after the run and...and...I grunted out frustrated as I remembered how Oleg smelled: the scent of his skin in that moment had completely fucked up my rational side and all I wanted to do was to tear our fucking clothes apart and feel his sweaty and burning skin on mine. I gulped down thinking about it and it became rather clear that keeping calm and quiet around him was going to be a living hell.

"Oh freaking hell...great," I murmured as I felt my blood boiling at the mere thought of it.

"Don't tell me you are actually thinking about...hahahaha...who's the horny dofus now?"

"Oh shut up, Dima," I grunted out.

"But seriously, did you already hav..." I threw a pillow at him before he completed his sentence and it perfectly hit the target.

"No and no more questions about that, got it?"

"Why not?"

"Oh God, Dima...in case you haven't realized, it's not exactly a normal situation. There is nothing going on, alright? I mean, I have no idea where we stand and what..." I felt the bed move beside me and my brother was there.

"Yeah, even I can tell that it must be not very easy...sorry Tolya, I didn't mean to be a complete jackass. But you know me." He glanced away as if thinking about something and then he spoke, leaving me completely speechless. "Err, I know that maybe I'm not the right person for these things, but you know you can count of me if you need it, right?"

"Thanks," I munched out, because this was honestly not my thing. I wished I had Dima's bluntness, but that was only his trait and not mine.

"Maybe you should talk to River, because Nicholas is...wait? How many years older?" Dima stared at the ceiling as if hoping to find the answer written there and I decided to keep my remarks for myself. My brother was a lost case, end of the discussion. "Oh yeah, Nic should be eight years older than River, so you know what I mean, plus River is much better for these things, with his being a smartass and such," he grinned wide and I shook my head.

It wasn't like I needed to talk about it with someone, but I doubted that Dima entirely understood how his words made me feel.

Once more, that impassive bastard had been right.

"Alright, enough of cheesiness for now, so back to business. What have reviewed so far for the test?" He gave me a blank expression and I groaned out frustrated. "You reviewed nothing?"

"Well," he said shrugging in his usual relaxed way. "You know how it is with us: all the good looks to me and all the brain to you."

"With you dofus, it's completely hopeless."

DAYS LATER – AFTER SCHOOL:

My bike roared to life and I still had to get use to the new colour, even though...I must admit that I liked it. After what happened, Oleg said that at least my bike needed a different colour, to attract less undesired attention, and I decided to keep my mouth shut and avoid fussing about it. As I sped up, Adrian's arms tightened around me and I slowed down of a degree as I was riding over the speed limit imposed. I wanted to talk with my friend about Viola, because the fact she sometimes talked to Sergey didn't sit well with me. I knew she meant it in a good way, but I didn't like the idea of that asshole around her. She was too nice and naive for her own good.

Adrian proposed we could go for a ride and I liked the idea, given he had understood that nothing would ever happen between us. We were friends, I guess, at least he considered me such and well, it was the same for me. I liked his company in school and we often talked about smartass stuff; he would have been a very good match for River, but from what I understood from Sasha, that Nicholas guy was perfect for him. I halted at the traffic light waiting for the green light and then another bike stopped right beside us. My eyes studied the dark beauty without recognizing it, but then the arrogant and sardonic smile behind the helmet became familiar instantly.

"Vince," I muttered under my breath. "What the hell does he want?"

He mimicked to turn the throttles of the bike, as if wanting to dare me into racing against him. He wanted that? Or did he want to simply talk? Shit...I hope it was not about that lunatic on crack. I shook my head and Adrian asked me through the helmet if everything was OK.

"We've got company," I said loud, over the roaring sound of the engine.

He turned to his left and he freaking greeted that jerk over there, and of course Vincent pulled the visor of his helmet up, flashing at us one of his usual cutting smirks.

"Hello there, Adrian: how about a nice ride with me?" He had to talk very loud, but we both heard him and I honestly wished to smack that smug face.

The light turned into green and my babe immediately darted fast ahead, leaving that jerk behind us; but I knew him too well, as I knew how he rode. I checked the mirror and Vince was there behind us. Adrian patted my shoulder, as if telling me to not worry about him. I rode faster ahead trying to clear my mind. I groaned out and then remembered a quiet place not too far from where we were. Vincent wasn't the real asshole and traitor I thought he was, so let's see what he had to say.

Author's chit-chat:

I know many of you have many questions about Oleg, about his past and such. He hasn't releaved much yet and it will take the due time to discover his many layers. But our Tolya will sure help in the matter. What did you think about this?

Any thoughts about the chapter? How did you feel to see more of their soft sides, their emotions?

I think you can agree with me that this chapter was due.

Also, did you expect Dmitri POV? I felt it was necessary in there and I always enjoy to write scenes between them.

I realize that I cannot write short or let's say not-so-long chapters...the point is that I have so much to tell about these two characters and their story holds many nuances. So, I hope you will not mind long chapters :)

Now, I am already working on new chapters for "Loving You is Forbbiden" (we have a Halloween Party to attend) and also for "Fallen for an Angel". Stay turned, because I will be posting VERY soon.

For now, big hugs, magic, love and Meows,

-TheWitchAndTheCat-