You return like autumn and I fall Everytime .....

You know sometimes you want your favourite candy but it's not there in the shop so you just sit and wait for it to come back.

Maybe I was waiting , waiting for him to come back.
And now when he is in front of me I had no where to go , no where to run off too.

And no way in hell I can ignore him like that.

"Why did you leave " he rasped.

"Maybe you should ask yourself that Kristian".

Maybe it's time to let all the secrets out .
I cannot hide this anymore I just cannot hide anything. Maybe I'm just his best friends sister but he is far more than that for me.

But even if I say that I like him , it will not change the fact that he is already committed to someone. Whom he loves the most.

"Let me in Karen" he looked into my eyes while saying this .

Let you in as in in my life , but you are already in it .

I gave him space to enter my home.
What if giving away my feelings would be of no use as he is already committed to someone. Sure as hell he would love her.
Why would he even think of me?

"Why did you ran off " he asked .

"I did what ? "... I asked angrily .

" We were talking and the next thing I am hearing is you running off to you home "

"Who told you where I was ?"

"Laura".

What a best friend I got .

"So? Care to tell me , what's going on?"

"What if I say nothing "!

"Then I would say you are a pretty bad liar . Cause clearly your eyes says something else. And by looking at it right now ..." He started coming closer .

"I would say you have been crying . Who made you cry? Is it Kevin? . Has he done anything to disturb you? I swear to God if anything..."

"No , Kristian he didn't , and no one did anything . I'm just stressed up for"..

"For"?

"For , um you know exams and the screen play and the future and..

"And?"

"That's it ".

"Look into my eyes Karen".

All this time I was looking away from him. How can I tell you I'm scared of letting my feelings out to you. Scared of how my feelings would turn things complicated. Just how much you make me feel and you pretending not to care.

"Okaay , geez i think I need to sleep , I'll talk to you tomorrow and I guess you should get some rest too". I tried hurrying him away.

"And what if I don't want to go?"

And here come the heartattack time..

"What if I say I want to stay here with you untill you tell me what's bothering you. Untill you let me in into your little world that I so wanna be a part of .
Untill you open up to me .
What is it that you are hiding baby".

And just like that the butterflies died out.
And just like that it all comes flooding back .
How important his girlfriend is to him .
And moreover I think I am not the one he needs .

"Maybe , you should figure that out yourself Kristian" .

"Huh? I didn't quite catch that ".

"It means that I need some rest and I need to figure stuffs on my own . So maybe I need some time for myself .
And you are constantly coming into my little world. So I suggest you should get some rest too. So go to your home or maybe your safe place and leave me the hell alone". With that I burst out.

"And what's my safe place be"?

"How would I know , after all it's your safe place not mine ".

We stared into each other's eyes with a silent battle.

"Yeah, maybe I should really go "..

"Yeah and I would love you for that "

Oh the sarcastic me is back. Did I accidentally say I love you?.
Yeah but it's sarcasm so I hope it won't be noticed too much.

A little part of me didn't want him to go . A little part of me wanted him to stay . That part of me wanted him to comfort me, telling me that all the things would be okay and he will be there to hold me up.

But I guess he don't really care about that little part of me . As soon as I said those words. He walked off. He just walked off on me.

And a part of me expected that . I didn't want that to be right but maybe he is truly a heartbreaker.

After shutting my door up. I broke down .
And just vent my heart out . This night wasn't supposed to go like this . Maybe we could go back to the talking terms but not always universe grants you a wish .

I cried myself to sleep.

The very next morning I woke up to the sound of the alarm going off . And guess I'm a bit late. So why not skip it today.
So I decided to not to go out today.

It's better to stay in today .
And avoid him at all costs.

Maybe I should take a small nap.

As soon as I said it. My door bell rang again.
I went down to open the door.

"Surprise"

"Well, hello runner"

"Why did you leave "?

Damn, my whole girl gang was standing in front of me with all the questions .

"Good morning to you all"

I tried to lighten the mood up.

" And invite us in cause we have to talk" Lilly said.

"Yeah come in please".

They all came in . We went to my room.

I didn't even had the energy to explain them anything.

"So , whatsup sleepy head". ?

"Why did you ditch us "
Both Courtney and Lilly was looking at me like I was at fault.
Laura was silent and so was I .

"Care to explain, Karen" ? Cortney asked again.

"I just didn't feel well so I came back"

"Without even telling us " ? Lilly asked .

"I.."

"She told me. And I told you guys about it." Laura tried explaining .

"Yeah, and the reason was "? Lilly asked .

"Tell them Kay , they deserves to know ".

I took a deep breath and told him about how I like Kristian and maybe just crush thing . And how we have this secret war going on between us . And how his so called girlfriend annoys the hell outta me .

And how I want everything to stop.

"I so knew it" Lilly was smirking .

"You should see your face , it gives all away when he comes in front of you" Courtney agreed.

"But now, what do you want to do? . Do you wanna ignore him?" Laura asked.

"Yeah, cause that's what I can do"

"Or maybe show him what's he is missing ". Lilly said .

"Heck yeah, why not , you can doodle up and Bam the game is yours" Laura agreed.

"But I...

"We cannot let you sulk like this. You're gonna go out and pretend like he doesn't exists." All the three of them agreed with Laura.

"We have one week left for the show and after that the real one will start". Lilly said .

"So , you ready Karen?" Courtney asked.

"Maybe ,yeah " I agreed .

Maybe that's what I need to get him off my mind.

This is going to be good I guess .

_______________________________________

Hello moonshines.

Happy winter's to you all❄️💫.

Long time no seen I know.

But here I am with another chapter of loving the heartless.♥️
I hope you all are keeping up with the story even if it gets boring maybe .

Do let me know what you think about this .

Vote , like, share and comment you views up💛💛

Peace 💜