32. Arya

The next morning I wake up with a throbbing headache. Automatically I press my fingers into my temples, trying to massage away the pain. As if that's ever helped anyone...

The sun shines brightly and the smell of leftover pizza fills my nose. A shudder runs down my spine and I wish for yesterday's silence back. For some reason the loud traffic from outside sounds like it's happening right next to my ear.

With a groan I slide out of bed.

On today's agenda we have; going grocery shopping, unpacking clothes and school supplies and finally putting everything in its correct place.

Luckily the flat came ready-furnished so that's one less thing I'll have to worry about.

Before leaving this to get the groceries, I decide to take a shower. I brought some shower gel and shampoo from the youth home but cosmetics are definitely noted on my imaginary shopping list.

Why is it that when we step into the shower, the thoughts that we've been suppressing come back to us in an instant? As hot water washes over my head all I can think about is... you guessed it, Seth. I had worked months upon months to stop thinking about him and now all that progress is lost. I have been telling myself that he was part of another life and now I am moving on from that. I am a different person now. A person who doesn't need Seth Smith!

When I'm finished showering and my brain is successfully wrecked, I get dressed in a pair of washed out jeans and a black see through blouse. Enjoying the fresh clean feeling of my face, I decide to go make-up-less. My hair falls in damp curls over my shoulder. That should be sufficient enough to go grocery shopping.

Pushing my cart in front of me, I roam through the different isles. Slowly but surely I realize that I've never really been grocery-shopping. I mean, of course I've shopped before but never with real thought behind it. Sam had always been in charge of the money and the car so he had been assigned grocery shopping duty. Now I feel almost lost in the huge store. God, I wish I wouldn't have to do this alone...

Lost in thought, I stop in front of one of the coolers. I slide open the glass door and pull out a carton of frozen chicken wraps. Clearly I didn't learn cooking at the youth home but warming something up in the microwave I can do!

When I turn, I stop dead in my tracks and can't believe what I'm seeing. Quickly, I close the cooler with a cringeworthy bang and try to maneuver my cart into the next isle.

It can't be him. He never goes grocery-shopping! I  quickly hide my face behind a box of cereal, acting as if I'm reading what's on the box. My heartbeat goes a thousand beats per minute.

I take a peak around and to my utmost relief can't see him anywhere. Taking a deep breath, I stride towards check-out. Enough grocery shopping for today. As I load everything onto the conveyor belt, I realize how pathetic I must look to the cashier. I've got mostly frozen food, some juice, toilet paper, tooth paste and a tub of "Ben&Jerry's".

"How was your shopping experience today? Everything ok?" The female cashier asks, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Fine. Everything was just fine." I frantically check behind me but Seth is nowhere to be seen.

"Great." She chirps. "That would $20.99."

I slap the money onto the counter, put my groceries back into the cart and run from the store as quickly as possible. When I'm outside, I shove everything into a paper bag and put the cart away. My heart beats so fast, it feels like it's buzzing in my chest. Last night's worries and Ethan's words ring in my head. Why did Seth have to meet his new girlfriend at the art store that I work at?! Doesn't exactly make things easier for me!

After checking my surroundings one last time, I pull my hair in front of my face and bolt out of the parking lot.

As I am walking back home, I keep looking back to check if someone's behind me but of course I'm just being paranoid.

Finally I reach the apartment building. I walk up to the front door and start looking for my keys. My arms feel tired from carrying the groceries so I put the large paper bag down and keep digging. I find my keys buried underneath the ice-cream. When I push the key into the lock and start twisting, I hear a car pull up behind me. The tires screech and a door gets slammed shut, only seconds after the engine gets shut off. My back tenses up and when I pull the key from the lock my fingers tremble so hard that I drop the key.

No, no, no, no!

"I knew that was you!" The voice sends shivers down my spine. I hastily pick up the key and push open the door. I don't know why I'm running but I quickly enter the building and start jogging up the stairs. My head hurts and my breath is short. I feel like I've just run a marathon but in reality I'm just running from my past. Midway up the stairs I realize that I left my groceries.

Fingers wrap around my wrist and I stop breathing. My heart stops, I shiver and I feel like someone's choking the life out of me.

"I knew that was you."

He spins me around and suddenly I am face to face with him. He's taller than I remembered and there is slight stubble on his cheeks and chin. His eyes pierce right through mine and make me dizzy. They are the same ocean green that I've been missing...

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Instead he grabs my other wrist as well and pulls me towards him. His arms sling around me as I stumble into his chest. One hand is on my back, the other on the back of my head pressing my face into his neck.

"I missed you, too." I mumble against his chest, taking a deep breath, breathing him in and trying to stop tears from coming.

"Nobody told me that you were coming back." His voice is shaky but his arms stay strong around my body.

"I know."

After what feels like an eternity he lets his arms fall back to his sides. I step back a little and can only manage a tiny smile. He brought the groceries up with him.

"Thanks... for that." I say motioning towards the bag. He just stares at me unblinkingly. "Do you want to come inside?" I turn away and open the door to my flat. I know he's following me in without having to look back. I can feel his presence stronger than I've ever felt it before.

Seth shuts the door behind him and follows me to the kitchen where he puts the groceries onto the counter.

"I don't know what to say." I admit, shaking my head and looking down at my feet. I want to know what he is thinking, how he's feeling and what he expects from me. I am definitely unprepared. And once again last night pops into my head.

"You don't really have to say anything." He scowls at me and shakes his head as well. "I'm the one who should be doing all the talking right about now. I mean, how do I explain any of what happened to you? The moment you were gone, I started preparing for what I would say once I'd see you again but now that you're here... There's nothing."

"You don't have to explain anything." That wasn't a lie.

"But I want to. You know I do." - Do I? -  "I didn't tell my parents about the fight. I still don't know how they found out—"

"And it's not important." I interrupt him. "It doesn't matter to me anymore."

"What do you mean? Of course it matters!" Seth raises his voice at me and I can't help but smile at the familiar frustration in his voice.

"Not to me, it doesn't. It's been two years. I am over it. Sam is over it. It happened. C'est la vie." I bite down on my lip and take a few steps towards him. Seth's eyes follow my every move. "You could have told your parents or maybe Leena did. Maybe your parents overheard it somewhere. But you know what? You are not your parents. It took me quite some time to forgive you. I was angry. I was so angry that I thought I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you to feel as much pain as I was feeling. Maybe even more."

"Understandable." Seth lowers his eyes, avoiding eye contact and stepping back from me.

"But I don't anymore. It's ok. I forgive you and I forgive your parents." I smile at him, realizing that what I'm saying is nothing but the utmost truth.

"Why?" He breathes and furrows his brow at me, a mix of confusion and disbelief washing over his face. I walk over to him and carefully take his hands in mine. It feels strange to touch him, feel his skin against mine. Strange but very good.

"I had two years to think this through; in his own way your father is just trying to protect you and his family. He might not be able to convey this very well but I am sure that's what he's trying to do and I can't blame him for it. Sam is happy now and I am going to be just fine. There is really no point in holding a grudge. So I'll forget about it if you can." I squeeze his hands and give him another reassuring smile.

"Looks like you did enough growing up for the both of us." Seth smirks half-heartedly and squeezes back.

"So how's everything else going?" I try to change the subject and let go of his hands. "How's Paulina?"

Of course there really is only one thing I'm curious about but I'm not about to admit that to him.

"She's fine but nothing has really changed. After I got my father to drop the charges, my parents withdrew even more. Which is fine. Poppy spends a lot more time with me now and she's in pre-school so she has somewhere to be throughout the day anyway. How about you? Tell me about everything. Did you meet... new people?" He raises an eyebrow at me and I shiver again. He drives me absolutely insane.

"No one... special." I bite the inside of my cheek and try to avoid eye-contact. Why is he asking me about this? Shouldn't he be thinking about his girlfriend? "How about you?"

His tongue shoots out of his mouth ever so slightly to wet his lips as he rubs his neck.

"I did meet someone..." He finally admits. I swallow and turn my back towards him, trying to keep my composure.

It's been two years.

I couldn't possibly have thought that he would wait for me. Why would Seth wait for me? What dream world am I living in? No matter how many times I told myself that I should forget about Seth, there was always a tiny little speck of hope left inside me that he would be here for me when I came back. Now that I am back, he has moved on just like I should have.

Why am I so stupid?!

"Good." I choke out but you can hear the lie loud and clear. It's not good. I remember what Ethan had told me and quickly spin around. "You're not Mel's guy, right?! You didn't get her pregnant?"

"What?!" He throws his hands up. "What are you even talking about? Mel!? Your boss, Mel? No way! No!" He almost looks comical, his eyes wide open and his mouth ajar.

I can't help but laugh a little as pure relief fills my body.

"Then who did you meet?"

"I can't believe you thought that I impregnated your boss!" Seth exclaims instead and starts laughing. He laughs so hard, tears roll down his cheeks. "I'm bad but I'm not that bad!"

I chuckle a little but in all seriousness this isn't funny to me.

"Glad you think this is a joke."

When he sees my face, he stops laughing. I walk past him and into the small living room. Crossing my arms, I drop down onto the couch and stare out of the window. This is so odd. He acts as though I wasn't gone. This is too bizarre. Maybe I should tell him to leave.

Seth comes up behind me, walks around the couch and sits down next to me. "I'm sorry. I'm stupid, I know. Guess I really haven't changed as much as you have. Still the same idiot."

"Just tell me, please. Ethan told me about—"

"Ethan, huh? Wow, he's still messing with you. I can't believe him." Seth interrupts.

"He just told me that you had a girlfriend and that you met her at the art store. So I just put two and two together." I explain.

"Don't listen to everything Ethan tells you." He ensures me. "I did meet a girl there. When you first left I pretty much refused to go anywhere near that store but after a few months, I decided to take Poppy down there. I, um, was having a pretty rough time so when I met Emily, she was the distraction I needed." Seth seemed ashamed and uncomfortable. "I told her about you. She knows you."

"She does?"

"Hmm... she was new in town and came to the store to get a journal, I think." He turns his head to look at me, analyze my reaction.

"I remember." Vague memories of a young girl buying a leather-bound journal come into mind. "Maybe you should leave. I don't think..." Not sure if I even want to continue the conversation, I get up off the couch and walk towards the front door. A strange, choking pain goes through me and swells in my chest.

Seth gets up and comes walking towards me, his stare never leaving mine. I open the door. When he reaches me, instead of leaving, he stops right in front of me. He tilts his head down to look at me.

"Sorry." I almost whisper. "I'm sure we can be friends."

Seth scoffs.

"I've never wanted to be your friend and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend now."

"Ok." I nod and open the door a bit more.

"Fuck, Arya, I've waited two years for you." He sounds like he's about to start crying.

"I know. I don't blame you for anything. Please just go!" My voice breaks and tears start falling from my eyes.

"I don't want to be your friend because I love you." His breaths come out in puffs. "Two years I had to get over you. I tried to fall for Emily but I couldn't. Once I saw you, I knew that you were worth waiting for. You have no idea..."

That's more than enough for me.

Before he can say anything else, I grab onto his shirt and pull him down to me. He closes the distance between us and presses his lips against mine.

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FINALLY, huh?

Well this part of their story might be over but there's still so much in the stars for Sarya! So keep on reading!

Thank you so much for being a part of this story and my writing experience. You're all amazing