Picture attached is Leena. (Let's admit it, Emma Roberts plays a bitch perfectly!)

20. Seth

I wished for Sunday to come and go but instead it drags on like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. At least once every hour, a memory of my confession has me shivering. Even though I think about getting out of the house, just to get her out of my mind, I spent the whole of Sunday alone in my room. Lilly forced lunch and dinner on me but other than that I didn't talk to or see anyone. I knew I upset Paulina by not letting her into my room but I just didn't have the mental capacity to deal with her. I'd just end up getting annoyed at her and I'd rather spare her of that.

To say that I needed time to make sense of all of this is the understatement of the eternity. Ethan might have everyone believe that I hid my feelings from everyone but he's only half right. I also hid them from myself. Still at this moment I wish I could take it all back. I'm not even sure if I like her. I'm not sure if I know what that means. All I know is that I've been taught all my life that appearance is everything.

Everything.

And now, all of a sudden, I am supposed to let that go and go against everything I've ever learned. The thing I've realized, though, is that I want to try. Try to make this work. I'm not quite sure what this is but I know that I want to be closer to her... or at least not be an asshole to her anymore. I spent hours upon hours on Sunday thinking about how I could possibly make the past weeks up to Arya. 

Little did I know then that I would soon get my chance. 

When I enter the cafeteria during lunch time on Monday, Brice and the others seem completely oblivious to what has been happening these past two weeks. Brice especially acts like nothing ever happened. Me being occupied with nothing but myself and leaving him behind isn't mentioned at all. Everything being back to normal feels good. Leena is clinging to me like I never broke up with her and Brice appears to have forgiven me long ago. Now, I could do without Leena but just talking to Brice again feels great. We all sit at our usual table and fall into casual conversation when Brice decides to put a damper on my mood.

"So, you never told me where you disappeared to on Saturday," he states as Leena attempts to grab my hand. I quickly pull away and cross my arms in front of my chest. "You never even told us about what happened after you punched that kid."

I try not to groan out loud and swallow the lump in my throat that forms as soon as Brice mentions Saturday. I kinda hoped that he would have forgotten or at least knows that I don't want to talk about any of this.

"There was some unfinished business between us." I clear my throat, clearly uncomfortable but he doesn't accept that as an answer.

"Unfinished business? You mean about new girl? What's her name...?" Brice gets out of his seat and twists around in search for Arya in the crowd.

Quickly I grab onto the sleeve of his shirt and pull him down to sit down next to me. He gives me an exasperated look in response and I just shake my head at him. I try to give him a look that is supposed to get him to change the subject. He doesn't take the hint. 

"Come on, dude. You don't think I didn't see the way you looked at her! Especially after that dude kissed her." My heart stops for a second and I start clenching my jaw with anxiety. "You went bat-shit crazy, Seth. Explain."

Suddenly all my friends' eyes are on me and I can feel myself shutting them out. This is what I do when I feel pressured. I'm not going to tell them just because they expect me to. There is just no way. This whole thing is none of their business. I shouldn't have to tell them... I don't owe them! Just because I want to make things up to Arya, doesn't mean I have to declare it to the world. Right?

"Seriously, Seth," Leena pipes in, grabbing onto my shoulder and twisting me around to look at her. "Piggy is starting to really get on my nerves. You just haven't been yourself ever since she's enrolled. It's her fault."

"Shut up, Leena," I snap, not even looking at her and hoping that the others would ignore my sudden outburst. Clearly I am not as good at hiding my emotions as I previously thought. Not when it comes to Leena at least. She's been getting under my skin more than usual lately.

"Don't tell me what to do!" She shrieks hysterically."You know it's true!"

Of course it is true. But who is Leena to expect the truth from me. Who really is Leena to me? I had met her a few years back. Back then I probably thought I was in love with her. I spent a lot of time with her over the years but the more time I spent with her, the more she changed. It's like she became more power hungry over the years. The girl I used to spent hours upon hours with, escaping my home, smoking cigarettes that she stole from her mom or going to parties we were way too young for is now gone. She's just turned into a major bitch right before this summer and now I barely recognize her.

I shake my head and just scoff, rolling my eyes at her. That's when she lunges away from me and practically runs across the room towards where Arya is having lunch with Ethan. She starts talking but I can't quite make out what she's saying. At first nobody seems to care but when Leena's voice rises, she gets the attention she clearly craves so much. All of a sudden Ethan looks straight at me. He narrows his eyes at me and shakes his head.

Damn. I know exactly what he's thinking. He wants me to stop Leena from whatever she's doing. He wants me to defend Arya instead of just sitting here and watching the scene like any of the other bystanders. Of course he fucking wants me to be her knight in shining armor. Not only does he want me to do that but something deep inside me makes me want to get up right now and make sure Leena never speaks to Arya ever again.

"Seth!" Leena suddenly calls across the room and my stomach drops. "Will you tell this fatty that she's wrong!"

Brice shifts next to me, finally noticing that this couldn't possibly have gone any worse. 

"Let's get out of here," he whispers and slaps my shoulder.

I have a choice. I can leave. Run, like a coward or I can do what every cell of my body is itching for.

This is probably the best chance I'll ever have to get Leena of my back. Not just mine but Arya's as well. If I wouldn't have spent my whole Sunday thinking about Arya and how to make things right, locked away in my room, I probably wouldn't have the courage to do what I am about to do. The heat in my stomach courses through my whole body, making me dizzy and I can feel my hands start to shake which causes me to clench my fists. I never get nervous but now, I feel like I might faint. This is not me!

Of course, I would much rather do this in private but maybe this is how it is supposed to happen. Maybe this is how I can redeem myself. I really do need to stop caring about my reputation. If I want the change... maybe I have to create it.

When I reach my destiny, everyone's eyes are on me. Well... everyone's eyes except the ones that would actually make a difference. Arya doesn't dare look up which takes a bit of my courage and Ethan glares down at me. I'm sure he's trying to work out my next move. That should be impossible as I am not exactly sure what to say or do now that I am here.

"Come on, tell her," Leena urges and almost stomps her foot in frustration like a child. "Ugh, she is so not worth our time."

I keep my eyes fixed on Arya. I just need one look. One look. But she doesn't even glance at me. She wraps her arms around her torso and the way she hides behind her hair kind of reminds me of the first time I saw her, cowering away from the world when there is someone so strong hiding behind that facade.

"Why aren't you saying anything!? This is your time to tell Piggy off!" Leena shouts, obviously trying to attract as much attention as possible. "Tell her to go back to whatever hole she crawled from or to stalk someone else because you are mine!"

That's what does it for me.

"Shut up!" I shout, glaring down at Leena who shuts her mouth immediately, stunned. "I am not yours and I never will be. So you need to back the hell off, Leena. Arya has done nothing to you. Nothing!"

Finally, Arya's head snaps up and she stares straight into my eyes. A sharp pain rushes through my whole body as it always does when she gives me that look. Her eyes are a bit teary and almost detached from the whole situation. I clench my jaw and try to ignore the ache inside me as I can't stop looking at her. I need to take a deep breath to finally tear my eyes away from her to face Leena once more.

"I swear, if I ever see or hear you talking bad about her or even mentioning her in conversation, I will ruin you." The threat comes out loud and clear and Leena's reaction is worth every word.

Her face is almost comical as she gawks up at me, her lips in a thin line and her beady eyes wide with anger and shock. Like pretty much every student in this room she had expected for me to have her back but I am done backing her up. I am done doing what everyone expects me to do. So done with all of this crap.

What I should but don't expect is the sharp pain that suddenly erupts in my left cheek. Leena stands in front of me, breathing heavily, her right arm hovering by her side. I can see that she wants to yell at me, she wants to come back with something smart but can't come up with anything. It almost makes me smirk but I just give her a blank stare.

"You don't deserve me," she chokes out, twists around on her heel and storms out of the cafeteria.

The whole cafeteria is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I look around and feel a rush of something brilliant so I do the first thing I can think of. I grab Arya's elbow and lead her out of the cafeteria. As soon as we reach the exit, noise erupts behind us.

Arya and I don't stop walking. Instead we keep marching through the school hallways until we reach Arya's locker. I just randomly stop in front of it and turn to look at her. She's breathing erratically but there's a hint of the tiniest smile on her lips. Her eyes are locked on mine once again. How have I not noticed before how good it feels to have her look at me like she is now.  

"Wow," she breathes, breaking eye-contact and leaning her back against the locker.

"I know." I copy her by leaning against the locker next to hers and lightly tap my head against the metal. "What the hell did I just do?"

"She's such a bitch." I chuckle at Arya swearing so freely because she usually doesn't use that kind of language and I feel like I am rubbing off on her. I can't help but smirk.

"She is."

"Why were you even with her?" She asks but holds up her hand before I can even come up with a proper answer. "Actually, don't answer that. If you did, I would probably hate you more."

"Hate me more?" I lift an eyebrow at her and push myself off of the lockers to stand in front of her.

At first I think she's teasing but the smile fades from her face. Although I stand right in front of her, she manages to avoid eye-contact. She bites down on her bottom lip and doesn't answer.

Now I don't just feel stupid, I feel fucking stupid. I should have known not to let my guard down. Of course she hates me. I know that. She has every right to. I foolishly thought that she would at least give me a chance now that I've proven that I am on her side. But the fact that she can speak of hating me so easily proves that the feeling is more than real. 

She hates me.

Here I was, thinking that she could forget about the past. Maybe she can't do that after all... and maybe I can't either.

Fuck it.

"You know what?" The words leave my mouth before my brain can form them properly and I feel like I'm suddenly not myself anymore. "Forget it. Forget this happened. Forget I ever said anything. None of it mattered."

And with that I leave her standing alone by her locker and just want to run!