10. Arya

Biting down on my lip nervously, I try to convince myself that what I'm doing is the right thing to do. In order to move on with my life, I need to make sure that everything is even. Make sure that there are no grudges being held, no negative thoughts against anyone. This is the only way.

"We can still turn around, you know." Sam offers, a muscle in his jaw twitching the tiniest bit whilst he stares at the road ahead.

"We're on a busy road and the only way for you to turn around would be illegal. So technically, we really can't turn around." I grin at that.

"Smart ass. I'm just saying. If you suddenly realize how stupid you're being, we can just turn around, go home, watch a movie. The offer is still on." His eyes flicker over to me for a second and I release my lip from my teeth.

"We're not turning around. I have to do this." I cross my arms in front of my chest as Sam turns the steering wheel, steering the car off of the busy highway.

What appears in front of me, leaves me stunned. Sam seems to have been expecting my reaction as he snickers humorlessly. In front of us large, white houses expand into the distance. Houses that I've only ever seen in movies or on television before now. They're mansions, not houses at all. Even though they are all kept very beautifully, to me they are scary and intimidating. They tower over us as Sam slowly drives by them.

"Where are we?" I question, stunned by my surroundings.

"What did you think where the Smith's live? Surely not in our sort of neighborhood."

I hadn't even thought about where he lives. Let alone what kind of house he lives in. I really should have known, though. He does seem like a rich kid with that fancy car of his. Come to think of it, he is the proper cliché. High school jock with the gorgeous, cheerleader girlfriend, rich parents and sports career.

Someone get me out of this 90's teen movie!

"Get out." Sam barks suddenly, shutting off the cars engine and leaning over me to push open my door.

"Which one does he live in?" I ask, swinging my legs out of the car.

Sam points at one of the mansions. The expression on my face can only be described as pure shock when I step out of the car. This mansion seems to be even grander and cleaner than the others. It also appears to be very centered. As if the other houses are build around it. In front of the mansion, a cobble stone path leads up to a iron large gate.

"Call me if you need me." Without another word, Sam shuts the door behind me and drives off. There was indifference in his voice but I don't have time to worry about that now. I know Sam doesn't like Seth but I can't let this affect me right now. I'm on a mission here!

I march up to the scary mansion, feeling more than out of place. I feel like the infamous elephant in the room as I step up to the gate, finding the intercom. I let my eyes wander over the intricate carvings in the iron gate but quickly pull myself together. Pushing my finger down on a blinking red button, I wonder how anyone could feel comfortable here. How could this really be anyone's home?

"Smith residence, how may I help you?" A welcoming female voice calls through the intercom.

I push the button again and get closer to the intercom. "My name is Arya. I'm friends with, er, Seth and wanted to make sure he's alright?"

I curse myself for not being able to sound more confident or business-like. Instead, I sound like a little girl who's picking up her friend for a play date. And this is far from a play date.

"Oh that's very nice of you, young lady, but he's not ready to have visitors at the moment. I am very sorry." The woman apologizes and I bite down on my lip, hard.

"It's really important." I urge, trying my hardest not to sound rude. "It really can't wait and I don't know when I'll get the chance to talk to him next. I promise I won't take long! I'll be out before you know it... Please."

Instead of answering, a moment of silence follows. Then a loud buzzing noise and the gates open. For a second, I need to suppress the urge of having to laugh, as I am associating this with the gates of heaven, finally opening to let me in. The only thing missing is a choir playing in the background.

The driveway is long and steep, so when I finally reach the front door, I am winded and in serious need of some water. I pull down my shirt and brush over the front of it before running my hands over my hair to make sure my pony tail is slicked back properly. The least I can do is try to make myself look somewhat presentable.

"Who is iiitttt?" A young voice calls through the door and for a second, I am too stunned to answer. "WHO IS IT?!"

"I'm a friend of Seth's!"

Immediately the door flies open and in front of me, a little girl appears.

My eyes widen at the sight of her. She is a girly, mini version of Seth. The same green eyes sizing me up and the same frown, pulling at the corners of her mouth. Her hair is long and curly and tied into two pig tails on top of her head.

"No you're not." She states, confidently, furrowing her brow.

"Erm... I really just want to talk to him. Do you think that would be okay?" I ask, unsure of myself. This little girl is probably not even five years old and already intimidating the crap out of me!

Instead of answering, the little girl is pulled back by someone. Out steps a middle aged woman in casual clothing. A polite, inviting smile is plastered on her face. She apologizes for the girls behavior and lets me in. Stepping into this house is like entering a new kind of world. Everything seems to be super-sized and once again, extremely intimidating.

"I am Lilly, the caretaker." The woman pulls me from my thoughts. "Would you like me to show you to Mr Smith's room?"

I nod once, too scared to speak a word. My voice would probably come out as a mouse-like squeak and I would embarrass myself and never be able to come here again... not that I am planning on coming here again. That's why I'm here. To get this over and done with. Forget I ever talked to Seth. Forget that he exists and start over... right?

"Does he know, you're coming to visit?" Lily asks as she leads me up a beautiful spiral staircase made of dark wood.

"No." Is all I can say and I avoid her eyes as I know she's starting to doubt my credibility.

Hopefully she won't get in trouble for this.

"Let me just tell him that he has a guest then, alright?" She gives me one last smile and turns around a corner, disappearing from my view.

I hear a faint knock that is met with silence. Another, slightly louder knock and a quiet voice speaks up. Lily starts talking but I can't understand what she's saying because I'm not close enough. How frustrating. I wonder how he's going to react to me being here... I wonder if Seth has friends over often...

"You can go in now." Lily doesn't make eye contact as she walks past me and my heart picks up speed.

Now that I am actually this close, I don't know if I can do this. What in the world was I thinking? How did I expect this to work out? I am so stupid... Why does my brain stop functioning sometimes and then I end up in these messed up situations?

My hands are shaking and sweaty as I step around the corner to where Seth's room is located. I knock my hand against the wooden door once but regret it shortly after. I'm so stupid! Knocking, really? Who am I? His mother?!

"Come in." He barks roughly through the door and I sigh.

If only my heart would stop beating so fast then maybe I could open this door and walk into his room without being a complete mess! I'm just going to talk to him, not confess my undying love for him. This is not some chick flick, this is my life and if I want it to stay that way, I have to end this stupid, stupid situation once and for all. Otherwise, I'm going to drown in it...

Finally, I push down the door handle and pull the door open. Instead of being stunned by the beauty of Seth's room, my heart seems to hate me today because I can now feel it in my throat as my eyes fixate on Seth. He is sitting up in his bed, a blanket pulled up to his waist and multiple pillows behind his back to support him.

"That's strange." He mutters as I step into his room and close the door behind me.

"What is?" I squeak and start fiddling with my shirt, nervously.

"You're in my house."

"I am..."

"Why exactly are you in my house?" His voice, apart from sounding tired, is strangely calm.

"Well, I needed to talk to you," here we go.

"About?"

"About some things... I guess. After I left the hospital yesterday, I just kind of felt like things were super strange between us, yet, we don't know each other at all. You don't know me and I don't know you-"

"Sit down, you're making me nervous," he croaks, reaching for his water.

Looking around the room, I find a chair, farthest away from Seth's bed. Seems like a good idea. I try to not make any noise as I walk over to the chair and barely sit on the edge of it, to make sure my thighs don't look massive.

"Anyway, what I was saying. I understand that you have a certain.. reputation at school but please don't try to prove your power on me. If anything, I'm the last person who can take it. I... I'm just trying to be honest with you so we can stop these games." I don't hear the words that I am saying, they just seem to be falling from my mouth randomly.

"What are you saying?" He crunches up his forehead and rubs a hand over his face.

"Good question." I mumble, getting up off the chair. "I just want... I need you to stop. Harass someone else, ask your girlfriend to stop harassing me... Just stop!"

He laughs a dry, humorless laugh and pushes the blanket off his legs to get off the bed.

"First off, that girl is not my girlfriend-"

"Anymore. She used to be... which says a lot about you." Somebody stop me right now!

"You don't know what you're talking about. She isn't my girlfriend right now. Stop living in the past. What would I get out of this deal? Everyone would think I'm a pussy. That you 'changed me' or some shit like that. You know, ever since you've set foot into my school, everything has been going extremely wrong. First, my parents try to take away the only thing that I am good at, then we lose the first game after summer break and I get beaten into the fucking hospital. By your cousin out of all people!" He finishes his rant with an audible sigh, settling back into bed.

"That's not my fault." I deny his accusations but deep inside, guilt creeps up.

"I don't know what your parents are doing and I'm not responsible for what happened at that stupid soccer game either. That's all you..."

"Why can't people like you ever admit that they're wrong?" He asks, pointing his finger at me.

Seemingly having made up his mind, he steps out of bed and comes walking towards me.

"Why can't people like you stop being assholes?" Worst retort ever. Great, Arya, just ruin your already non-existent social life in a matter of minutes.

We glare at each other and I feel like it's the first day of school again when I walked into that classroom, thinking that this school would be different. of course the first student I met, was the exact one I'm standing in front of now and he's giving me the exact same glare that he did on that first day.

My eyes start to water and I feel the need to cry out of anger and frustration. Why can't anything ever work out my way? Why didn't I listen to Sam and why is Seth being so damn complicated?

He should have just accepted what I said earlier and moved on. That's how I planned it but no, the stars aren't aligning in my favor.

Suddenly the door bursts open, sending us both flying back in shock. I only now noticed how close we have been standing.

"I heard you say a very bad word!" A mop of dark curls flies across the room towards me and stops a few inches in front of me, hands on hips and a scowl on her face. "We don't say bad words! That is very rude!"

"Poppy..." Seth sighs and picks her up, cradling her in his arms.

She seems to relax as soon as he touches her and leans against his chest. Her eyes are still focused on me, though.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to curse. I usually don't. I was just... Well, I'm sorry." I try to apologize but the little girl is still giving me a death glare.

"Don't worry about it, Paulina is just a bit protective." He pauses for a second to look at his sister lovingly and I notice something in his eyes that I haven't seen there yet.

I hadn't even known he was able to look at anyone with something more than boredom or hatred. But with her, it is definitely different. A whole new facet of him. Something he clearly is uncomfortable with and doesn't want the world to know about it.

"Anyway, I think you should go now..." He says quietly.

"Is she really your friend?" Paulina pipes up, curiously, staring up at her brother with her big green eyes.

"No." He answers without hesitation. "You know all of my friends, Poppy. I would have told you about her, you know that. We don't have secrets."

And even though I know that Seth and I are less than friends and I want to be less than acquaintances, this hurt. This hurt in a strange way in the pit of my stomach. An itty bitty part of me wanted him to say that we are. That part wanted him to lie to his little sister but of course he didn't. He wouldn't lie for me and we aren't friends.

Get real.

"Can you please think about what I said?" It doesn't feel right to talk about this subject when his sister is in the room, so I guess, it is best to just end it and go home and go right back to drowning myself in this misery.

"Why aren't you friends?" The little girl insists.

"We just aren't, Poppy. Drop it." Seth puts her back down on the floor and the little girl looks slightly hurt by his words and actions. I know how she feels: rejected.

"Don't you like Seff?" Paulina now addresses me with a hint of a lisp. "Don't you wanna be his friend?"

Be quiet, little girl. You don't know what you're talking about.

"Paulina... That's your name right?" I ask with a small smile and she nods her head once. "Well, Paulina, just because I'm not friends with your brother, doesn't mean I don't like him. Sometimes things can just get really complicated in life... You're just a little young to understand that." I finish my little speech and walk over to Seth.

"If you're not planning on taking what I said earlier into consideration," I whisper, making sure that Paulina can't hear anything, "If you're still planning on being an ass to me... then at least make sure that your little sister doesn't see you as too much of a role model because you won't be able to keep up this double life for very long and at some point... even your walls will come crashing down."

I hug him for good measure and to show his little sister that everything is alright, of course.

I can feel him suck in a deep breath as I wrap my arms around his body, awkwardly. I've never been a good hugger.

"You can leave now." He grumbles.

"Whatever, Seth. I hope you're happy with yourself. I hope, you're proud." I turn to his sister who has taken an interest in a burned down candle on Seth's bedside table. "Goodbye, Paulina. And again, I'm sorry for cussing earlier!"

She gives me a cheeky smile, "s'alright. You gotta wash your mouth out wiff soap though."

I just laugh but as soon as I step out of the room, I feel like a rock has just dropped down on me. A kind of heaviness is holding me down and I drag myself out of this huge house.

Here I am, thinking that I could actually make something right... thinking that I can turn around my life and do something good for once but like usually, nothing ever goes my way and on Monday, I will feel the wrath of the oh-so mighty Seth Smith.

Fun.