Sometimes when Spain left on his pirate trip, I was always stuck with Belgium to do the chores and pick tomatoes. I realized that being depressed of his absence wasn't helping me or his economy, so I tried so hard to be the best henchman there is.

"Okay Roma, now fold this edge with the other" Belgium gave direction as I folded the sheets that I - I mean that the squirrels peed on! Anyways, so after I was done folding that, I got to fold Spain's shirt. I stared at it, a very plain shirt, beige with uneven sewing, the sleeves torn and collar with dark reddish spots.

This shirt has so much history...

I smiled as I smelled his shirt, I sat down on the ground, covering my body in his sweet scent... I can't help it.. I miss Spain so much... Tears fell from my cheeks as I soon laid on the ground.

Belgium noticed and kneeled in front of me "You miss him a lot, don't ya?" I nodded slowly. She grabbed me and put me on her lap, "Wanna hear a little story of our amazing Spain?"

I nodded my head almost desperately. She chuckled.

"Alright, here it goes..." She took a deep breath. "Before Spain took you in, he was depressed... He was usually negative, but always nice." She gulped. "Then he took you in, at first he complained and complained.... Then he started to smile more, laugh more..." She put on a soft smile. "He loved you so much Roma... All he talked about was Romano Romano Romano... And I would listen to him happily because I've never seen him so excited and happy in my life." Then her eyebrows furrowed. "But because of that, Spain ignored everyone around him, me, my brother, France... I felt almost betrayed... He always talked about you and you only..." Her eyes looked like fire, filled with rage, but then she took in four deep breaths before smiling. "You two were very close, and now he's leaving you more, and you're always stuck having to be with me and picking tomatoes -"

"I don't mind.." I interrupted her. "I don't mind being with you, or picking tomatoes... I know that Spain will come back, because he's still needs to make my bed!!" I pouted, fiddling with my thumbs.

Belgium smiled and stood up, "Ha-ha, yes..." She closed her eyes before helping with the laundry again.

Belgium was always nice to me, she always treated me like a prince, always brought food, clothes, I mean she was the one who suggested I wore pants with my dress. Most of all though, was that she was always by my side, telling me stories about Spain, tucking me in at night, something that I wish Spain would do but he never found the time.

He loved his office... I loved his office... We spent most of our time there because it was one place that we both can just run away to.

I got up from the ground and patted the dirt off of me. "I'm going to wash up Belgium..." I walked away, tsking and clenching my fist. I love Belgium like a mother, but I don't like her to be honest... I saw the way her eyes looked like she wanted to rip my head off... I wanted to look as dazzled and nice as possible so that she wouldn't notice my anger.

Once I reached Spain's room I threw myself on his bed. "That dumb bitch thinks I'm dumb... I do think of her as my motherly figure, but boy does she piss me off..." I roll around on Spain's bed and pick up one of his diary entries.

Dear Diary,

Romano's crying again... He won't ever tell me because he just keeps crying. I've been nice to him and not at all a dick or so he claims I am. I just want to help him... Maybe on my next trip I can bring him back a souvenir, maybe from France, I'm going in a battle with him soon anyways. Yeah, I'm going to make Romano smile, no matter how long it takes me.

I frowned... Is that why you leave me all the time?.... Because you want to make me smile?... Don't you know, that every time you leave I cry, and during all that time you're gone I'm depressed? And it was because you wanted to make me smile?.....

I wiped my face. Tears now flowing freely, "What makes a bastard like you think that it's okay to abandon me and just assume that it'll make me happy!!!?"

I looked at the date... It was recent... Around two months.. The day he left too... I frowned more, that bastard will pay when he comes back...

Then there was a knock on the door, and there emerged Belgium, she looked pretty envious in her eyes, but put on that smile... That fake, fake, smile...

" I thought maybe you drowned washing up, so I checked on you!" She walked into his room.

I bet she was really hoping I did drown though. "Yeah, well I got distracted..." I swiftly put the paper back under the pillow, my tears leaving dry streaks on my face.

She looked at me bewildered, " Were you crying?"

"Like hell I was! Just tired is all..." She let out a sigh.

"I'll make some hot tea to sooth you to sleep, okay?" She put on her smile and left the room.

I let out a sigh of relief, god she can be annoying... I smiled, but she really does try for me... I guess I gotta give her props for that.

I looked at Spain's pillow, barely touching it as I let out a small sob, no, no crying you little fucker, he'll come back... I just know it...

.o0O0o.
2 months later
.o0O0o.

I was dashing through the hallways, turning left and right damn, why does his place have to be so big??!

I reached the front door and skidded to a halt... I saw him with Belgium, she talked with a genuine smile, and he smiled back at her, like a true idiot he was. I felt hopeful that he would turn around, but I guess he won't notice I'm here until I say something.

"H-hey jackass!!" I gulped... It's really been so long...

He flinched then looked behind him instantly. I felt this surge of happiness when his gaze met mine, but I didn't show it and just crossed my arms and tapped my foot. "Aren't you going to say something?" I felt nervous now, all he's doing is just looking at me, its almost as if he has tears in his eyes.

"Oh Roma," he held out his arms, kneeling to reach my height. "I've missed you so much!!!" The tears glistened on his long eyelashes.

"I can tell..." I walked up to him, hugging his neck, cradling my body into his arms. "Oh by the way, you need to clean my room, it's a huge fucking mess..." Spain pulled away from the hug, tilting his head smiling.

"Of course Roma, I'd do anything for mi tomate!" Then he picked me up and gave me an Eskimo kiss. I blushed madly.

"A-anyways..." Belgium cleared her throat, ruining the moment. "We still need to go over your economy and business hours, many of our employees are complaining about minimum wage and neglect of working hours."

Spain nodded his head, getting serious again. "Yes right away, just let me help Roma with his room then we can go over the details." Inwardly I smiled... He cares more about me then his work, nothing else can make me more happier.

"It's okay Spain..." I said in a sad and disappointed tone. "You should worry about yourself than me..." I looked away, trying to puff my cheeks but end up pouting.

I heard a chuckle from him, "But your well being comes first, above all!" His smile reassured me.

Belgium let out another throat clearing, "so I'll just get the papers prepared then?" Spain nodded before walking me down the hall to my room.

After we noticed Belgium gone Spain spoke, "sometimes I think she doesn't like us together." He gave a half smile.

"She is, I'm just better than her, she's just jealous of me." I held onto Spain.

He gave a chuckle, "I guess you're right Roma."

We turned to my room and he walked in, cheery and stupid. "Now lets clean you little room Roma." I sat down on my bed as he picked everything up, piece by piece. I sighed, watching him bend down the back up, he did have a nice butt though. I chuckled to myself and he looked over at me confused.

"Is something funny?" He twirled around, looking behind him then at me with a soft smile. "Was that a genuine laugh I got from Roma?"

I almost protested to that, then I thought of the note... And how he always left because he thought I'd smile more... So I just nodded my head, looking away bashful for admitting it.

He clapped his hands together. "I'm very happy!!" Of course he was, he's almost always happy. I shifted in my spot, hiding my face now.

"Why do you always leave me?... to make me smile? To keep me happy?... Do you think I hate your company?..." I wasn't really thinking when I said that, but it couldn't be helped... That's all I can ever think about now.

Spain looked a bit confused, then he smiled and kneeled right in front of me, grabbing my small hands.

"Roma... I have a job you know?..." I looked away, it was pretty obvious... " but that doesn't mean I'm purposely being neglectful of you, I'm probably the loneliness without you by my side..." He looked down, his smile barely being placed on his lips. " in fact... I was meant to be gone for 4 months, but I just couldn't handle that distance, I had to come back, to see if you were alright..." He grasped my hands tighter, now looking up into my fairly hazel eyes. "I love you Roma... I don't know what I would do without you..." He leaned forward and gave me a peck on the lips. "I would never think of leaving you because I thought it would make you happy, I mean yes, its my first thought when I think of you, but if I miss you so much I believe that there's an 80% that you miss me just as much!"

Damn he was so hopeful. "Okay... I get it" his kiss did surprise me a bit... But I brushed it off as an Italian thing.

.o0O0o.
Present time
.o0O0o.

I lay in my bed... Man... I wish I had those days back... Yes he might've been gone a lot, but I'd rather him be gone for 2 months a year than gone an entire lifetime.

I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. What will life be like without the sun shining on me everyday?...

I sad up in the bed, the cast going to its final stage before being removed. The doctors were really surprised with my recovery. What can I say? I'm god himself... If I was god though... I would've been the one dead and not Spain... I wiped at my eyes, getting out of bed. I can use my crutches without assistance now. I looked over at my closet, and a black suit, such a mourning look it had. I guess it was right for the occasion...it was supposed to be for Spain's funeral.

I gulped, crutching to the suit, barely touching my fingers against the fabric. Oh how I wished it for a wedding or a rich party... Not a funeral for the only man in my life that ever mattered.

I clenched my fist before sighing. Getting angry over something inevitable won't do anything thing in my life... It'll just give me gray hairs and wrinkles.... But sometimes it can't be helped... I dropped on my knees, dropping my crouches, slamming my fist against the floor, tears being forced through my eyes. Why does he have to be gone!!? Like this!!? Who told him he can die!? "I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!!!" My eyes widened as I realized I yelled that. I looked toward the front door and saw a couple of nurses outside my door, a little surprised, maybe scared.

"S-sorry... " I was forcing myself off the floor, the nurses tried to help me but my pride got the better of me, so I ended up just doing it myself, picking up the crutches and shakily rising from the ground.

We reached the cemetery... It was dull, with only a few flowers to brighten the stones of grey. I frowned, he should be in a cemetery full of flowers and colorful stones with the sun always shining down on a clear sky... He deserved to be in a beautiful place... Not this sad excuse of land...

I was in a big black van, the glass a tinted grey to suit the setting of the atmosphere.

The car stopped, I took a sharp breath... Crawling out of the van, lightly putting my feet on the verdant ground. I can hear a squish from the water absorbed in the ground. The sound made me gulp. I looked ahead of me, looking past a beautiful willow tree, and underneath was a big tombstone, it was almost poetic seeing it under the leafs. I wanted to smile, for Spain, but I couldn't and ended up tearing up. I wiped my eyes as I turn around and see the open grave with a group of people surrounding it.

There it is...

I walked forward, towards the people, seeing the casket, it was closed... Just imagine it's not him... Just imagine... I closed my eyes, being hopeful. But before I knew it I was there, standing with the crowd, watching as it starts.

"Here we gather for the death of Antonio Fernandez carriedo..." He went silent for a while. "We have some speakers for him... " he looked directly at me, I sighed and walked up.

I watched as the people looked at me, some wiping tears from their eyes. I saw Netherlands with his stoic expression. Germany seemed pretty sad, Italy... Oh my poor brother, he was the one with the loudest crying... Even England was there, he was holding his hand on his lap, bowing his head. I saw Portugal, very rare... France and Prussia stood there, the most calm out of the group, tears glistening their eyelashes... Their eyes were red, as if they were crying pretty hard before coming here... Then I saw Belgium... She wasn't crying, she was standing straight, legs crossed, almost as if she was mocking me. I shook my head from those thoughts and finally spoke up.

"I'm.. Glad you all made it today ... I know Spain would be happy of you all coming..." I gulped. "How do I put this?.... Well.... He's dead... Gone, his smile forever lost in the dark, his bright green eyes now dull and gone... His beautiful voice now vanished and hidden... All because of a crash... The last time I talked to him he didn't even remember who I was, he told me to leave... becasue I wanted him to remember... I thought I would have more time... I guess I was wrong..." I shuttered as I shifted in my spot. "He died on his birthday, a day that you grow, not wilt away... But I guess it couldn't be helped... I had so many plans for that day too..." I tapped my fingers. "I never wanted to say good bye to him like this... Loose everything I loved..." I looked up at the crowd, Italy stopped crying, he just looked at me, Germany almost teared up, Netherlands just looked away from me, Portugal turned and walked away... Prussia and France disappeared from the crowd... I don't blame them to be frank... I wanted to run off too. And England kept his head down, praying I guess.

Then there was Belgium... I almost saw this smirk on her.

"Got anything to say bitch!?" I blurted out before realizing what I said. Everyone looked at me bewildered, but Belgium just giggled.

"You're pathetic Romano... Did you really believe that he loved you? I mean really!!?" She stood up, I see her slowly pulling out a gun. "Well guess what!? He didn't!!" The gun was at eye point now, but I didn't react.

"Do you wanna know how he really died!!?" Her eyes spoke crazy "I was the nurse!! I over dosed him, killed him in his sleep, he got a heart attack, the doctors tried to revive him but it was too late!" I clenched my jaw, putting my hand in a fist. "Because he spent too much time with a delinquent like you! So if I couldn't have him then no one is going to have him! Simple as that you brat!!" She fired the gun, but surprisingly Portugal was behind her. Lifting her arm, letting the bullet avoid me by an inch, he pulled the gun from her hand and threw it at me.

I was confused... Whats happening?... He held her in a head lock.

"SHOOT HER ROMANO!!! NOW!!!" I didn't really react, I just shot the gun at her, all of the bullets left the gun, with only the clicking of an empty mag... I panted... Hand shaking... Portugal dropped her dead body... Sighed, kicking her... Tears spilled from my eyes... What's happening?...

I ran off, sobbing, high jacking the van as I went through the path... Back home... Just away from everything that happened...

When I got home my cell phone had 20 missed calls, all from different people, but mostly from my brother. I threw my phone against the wall, braking it... Walking into my door after all this time in the hospital... The kitchen... I got a memory from when Spain sat on the counter and handed me a coffee cup, asking about that night. I teared up, then I looked at the couch. The same fabric as his chair, the couch that he touched me on... I sighed... Imagining his foots treading in... Wanting this all to be a night mare...

I went up to my room, took off my jacket. Going to my dresser where I hide a gun... I took in a shaky breath, pulling it out, cocking it back.

My mind flashing with every memory of Spain as I put the gun to my head... Crying, collapsing on my knees, screaming and yelling at nothing as I attempt to pull the trigger.

I don't want a life without sunshine...

BANG!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

CC_Green-spain~