The sound of waves was always soothing. With my eyes still closed, I could imagine I was back in the house I shared with Luke. It was almost like I would listen around for the scratching of Armani's paws on the hardwood floor in the living room or the sizzling of bacon being cooked in the kitchen. I always felt transported back to that moment in my life. Things had definitely changed a lot since then. It was now a year since the last time I was alone with Luke. The day he took my virginity. It was only when I opened my eyes and caught sight of the mismatching furniture and stashes of paper scattered around the room that I was reminded I was in Greece. Looking to my side and finding a naked Hendrix curled up to my side was also a big reminder of how things had changed.

I never really understood how things turned out between Hendrix and I. One minute we were nothing but work colleagues sharing a small house in Crete, the aromantic and the idiot who simply could not get over his childhood love. The next, clothes were on the floor and the two of us were kissing like nothing else in the world ever mattered. Things were perfect between us: I was still free to be in love with Luke and Hendrix had no pressure to reciprocate any feelings because they were never there. We enjoyed each other's company and were drawn to each other on lonely nights. Things seemed to be a breeze in Greece compared to the emotional rollercoaster I had gone through back home. I was thankful that Hendrix only made things easier.

"Morning." He groaned, unwrapping his arms from around my waist and turning over on the spacious double bed.

I turned my head over, eyes roaming over his naked back as I smiled softly to myself. The sight made me think of Luke. Not of the emotional hell he had put me through, but of the endless mornings I'd spent looking at him sleep, of the times I had absentmindedly traced my fingers up and down his back connecting the dots between his freckles. Mostly, it made me think of the morning after we had sex. It made me think of the warm feeling inside when I recalled every second of that afternoon that turned into night that turned into early hours of the morning. It was amazing to know that there were so many corners of Luke's body I had not yet admired, that there were so many sounds he could emit I had not yet heard. I did not regret it one bit. When Luke woke up and turned over to me with a large grin, I knew he didn't either.

"Morning." I whispered almost absentmindedly, allowing one of my hands to crawl up Hendrix's back as my fingers played with the curls at the nape of his neck. Things were good. "Do you want to go to the beach today?"

Hendrix was quick to turn over, grey blue eyes staring up at me as if I had grown another head. "Michael, we've been here for a year and not once have we set foot on the beach. What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong." I laughed with a shrug. "You're leaving Greece in a week, I just wanted to make sure you got to see the whole thing. Even the sandy hellhole."

The skinny man rolled his eyes, turning over again and pulling the sheets further up his body so it only left his eyes uncovered. "Stop gloating that you got a permanent job here, you dick." He muttered. "I'm going back to sleep, good night."

I chuckled lightly, knowing Hendrix well enough to know he wasn't actually upset about anything. If only, he was over the moon I had got a job offer. A trip to Santorini for a weekend had been my congratulation gift and I had made some of the most amazing memories with Hendrix there. Of course I missed Calum, Ashton and Luke nearly every day. Skype calls were made at least once a week and it was amazing to see how things were turning out for them. Calum had moved out, found a girl and moved in with her. Ashton was still alone, but it was amazing to see the way he smiled whenever we spoke about Calum, how glad he was to know that Calum had found happiness again. That was the only thing Ashton needed to be happy himself. Luke was still living in the house we lived in together and had set up my room as a recording studio. He was working on an album that, according to him, would be the best thing since sliced bread. I highly doubted it.

It wasn't uncommon for me to sit in bed with a goofy smile thinking of the things that were going on back home while I was in Greece. Thinking back made me proud of myself and the person I had become. I couldn't help but smile yet again, throwing the sheets away from my body as I pushed myself out of bed. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I pulled on a pair of boxers and slid out of the room into the quiet home Hendrix and I shared. I was lucky enough to have been blessed with a roomie that was tidy enough for the both of us. That was always something that missed between Luke and I and something I would dearly miss when Hendrix left back to Australia.

I stepped out onto the balcony, eyes squinting slightly as the rays of sun hit down on my already sunburnt face. That was not something uncommon either. My face was always sunburnt and I would constantly get an 'I told you so' from Hendrix whenever I complained about it. He nagged me time and time again to put some sunscreen on. Not that I ever listened. The only thing I was listening to right now was the sound of the phone ringing and the beating of my heart as I looked out into the horizon.

"Hello?" The familiar female voice spoke. That was a sign that Luke was still in the hospital, making my heart sink slightly.

"Liz," I smiled to myself.

"Michael, darling!" She exclaimed. "Oh my god, how've you been? It's been so long, dear! I've spoken to your mother the other day and I was telling her just how much I missed your voice! Oh, honey, please come back soon to visit!"

"I will." I chuckled lightly. "And I miss you too. Is Luke available to talk right now? Is he doing alright?"

Liz sighed, and from that I knew the news would not be as expected. "Yes, he can talk, darling. His CD4 count is still getting worse and the doctors are trying to set up a new treatment plan but things don't look too good. They still haven't lost hope though, which I guess is still a good sign. I'll pass the phone over to him, just a second."

I hummed in response, listening quietly as Liz said something I couldn't quite understand before she mumbled a quick 'it's Michael'. There was some fumbling around, but soon enough I could hear the faint panting on the other side of the line.

"Hey," He said. I could tell how hard he was fighting to make sure his voice came out loud and clear.

"Hi." I smiled to myself. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty shit." He chuckled slightly and I could already picture him messing around with the hospital bedsheets. God, did I miss Luke. "But I'm still alive, so that's good enough. How are you?"

"I'm good." I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "I miss you, though."

"I do too." He sighed heavily. "Can I stop acting like I'm over the moon you got a permanent job there and be a little salty over the fact you're not coming home anytime soon?"

"No," I chuckled. I could already picture Luke rolling his eyes slightly. "You can stay alive for your trip here, though. That'd be pretty great. As long as you don't die as soon as you leave here."

"You are so going to hell for your jokes. Not funny, man." There was a short silence. I knew for a fact Luke was smiling just as much as I was, and the warm feeling that spread through me only made me smile even more. I wished he could be there next to me. "It's been exactly a year, you know?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I leaned over the balcony, squinting my eyes even more but refusing to look away from the breathtaking view he had of the beach. "I didn't think you would remember."

"How could I not?" The pain in his voice was evident, simply from how much effort he had to put into speaking clearly. "What are you looking at right now?" He asked after a long silence.

"The ocean." I replied simply.

"Is it a pretty view?"

"The prettiest."

"I want to see it someday." He said softly.

"You will." I assured him. "Next June, when you come over."

"Yeah," He breathed out. "I gotta go." He spoke as I heard some shuffling in the background. "Dr Peters just came in."

"Alright. I'll call you soon. Stay alive for me, alright?"

"Alright." He laughed softly. "I love you, Michael."

"I love you too, Luke."

I waited for Luke to hang up the phone, listening as the line went dead. Looking around me, nothing looked the same. Nothing felt the same. I was a different person than I was a year ago. I was no longer Michael, the shadow of Luke. I was just Michael. And Michael was strong, independent and decided. Looking back at my life so far, I knew I had spent too much time loving others instead of loving myself. I had cared too much and given too much. I had let people walk all over me and take what they wanted without a second thought to what that could possibly do to me. And even through all the heartache, even through all the tears, I was finally learning to appreciate the fact I had no soulmate. I was glad I had fallen in love with Luke. Because I had learned to love myself, all thanks to loving Luke.

~~~

ok wow i finished another one. are you crying? pft, i'm not. (yes i am)

hope u enjoyed this story guys!! and hopefully i'll see you soon in my new ones!!! which you should go check out btw lol

love you xx