Chapter thirty-three

A/n. Remember that the current year in the book for the characters is 2018 since I wrote it then.

***

DAISY

I was late to Chemistry for the fourth day in a row, and I swear my professor have had it with me already. He was understanding and patient with students sure, but not when they disrupted his lessons continuously and came up with a lame excuse each time. I steadied my books in my hand, making sure the loose pages never fell out. Before I knew what was happening, I knocked face first into a chest.

"I'm so sorry!" I said in apology. When I looked up I immediately looked away once again, my heart suddenly beating loudly.

"Daisy." I heard him pull in a sharp breath. "Why the hurry?"

"Our grades will be uploaded today for our second chemistry practical," I couldn't help to contain the excitement in my voice. "I can't wait to see my mark and I'll be late if I don't get there now..."

"I'll go with you. Since I do have chemistry now too."

"That's okay." I mumbled, awkwardly looking anywhere besides at him.

"My face is over here." Jason grumbled. His hand gripped my chin before pulling my face towards his. My eyes met his, and for a split second I forgot how to breathe. They were so beautiful.

"I don't see why I should look at you now when you couldn't even come up with an excuse as to why you decided to break my heart." I said, not being able to contain the sadness in my tone.

Last night I had my sleep over at Penny's dorm with both her and Mavis. I told them about what happened that day as a reason of the giant bruise on my face. I also told them about my encounter with Jason after he decided to avoid me, but I left out specific details like Jason threatening to kill the person who accidentally kicked me in the face. I didn't want them to think that he was crazy.

"After what you said that night you expect things to be normal now?" He raised a brow, looking at me expectantly. I wanted to slap his sexy face so hard, he wouldn't be able to see the next sunshine. "We were doing so fine and then you had to go talk some shit about love."

"Some shit?" I hissed out, stepping backwards. I needed to put some distance between us before I strangled him. "You absolute asshole, how could you say that? I just told you how much I loved you and you reacted the way you did."

"Loved?" He narrowed his eyes, stepping towards me and filing the empty space between us. "So you don't love me anymore?"

Was this a freaking game to him?

"No, I don't." I said coldly. "Why would I love someone like you anyway?"

Not a second later I found myself pinned against the wall, Jason glaring down at me darkly. My eyes went wide on their own accord in surprise.

"Someone like me?" He growled. "Fuck you, Daisy. You're fucking hurt because I couldn't say the words back to you. Now you're trying to hurt me."

"No." I whispered. "That's not true."

It was true. It was very true.

"Yes it is," He said dryly, his arms caging either side of my head. "But the best part is, your heart it out there for me to break. Vulnerable and fragile. Mine is not. Which is why I have so much power over you and not the other way around."

Tears formed in my eyes before I could stop them. "Why are you doing this?"

He looked taken aback for a second, before his eyes turned cold again.

"You're just a burden to me, Daisy."

"No! Something is causing you to act this way. You would have never said these things a week ago." I sniffled a cry, my throat constricting. My chest ached with emotional pain.

"Live with the fact that I'm incapable of loving someone. I'm a monster." He mumbled softly.

"No, you're not." I whispered. "Please don't say that."

"Yes I am." He hissed. "I've hurt you countless times for no reason. If you ask me now why I've avoided you and told you those things, I would have no valid explanation why. Because that's who I am. I am so fucked up in the head."

"Even if you are slightly messed up in the head, aren't we all? We all have our own demons to battle, to try and make ourselves better people. You're just harder on yourself than the rest. Don't do this, Jason. Please. You don't mean a word that you've said." I slowly raised my hand and softly cupped his jaw, using my thumb to stroke the stubble of his face. He hadn't shaven in days, I could tell. His eyes shut on their own, as he released a shaky breath.

We stayed in the silent hallways as seconds passed by. I felt comfortable again, being this close to him. For the six days we were apart I felt like I was slowly losing myself in a pit of loneliness and darkness. Jason was so near every single night, yet so far from my reach.

"I don't deserve you. My father was right, I shouldn't have expected the dream I have been living for the past month to last a second more."

His hand raised and he began to gently stroke my bruised cheek.

My heart broke. He told me how hard his father was on him during his childhood. He's been fed these lies all these years, that he would never be good enough. His father was a real asshole, first Alexis and now him? I wanted to punch whoever his dad was in his face.

Repeatedly.

"He told you that?" I asked in bewilderment.

He shrugged. "He said that having someone like you in my life is a weakness. You would only end up dead or hurt, like my mother had. He was so convincing when he told me that you are just a burden."

So that's why he was avoiding me.

"I have a choice in this too. And my choice is to be with you and help you see yourself in a better light."

Perhaps there was some justified reason as to why Jason's dad would say something like that. Jason told me how heartbroken his father was when his mother had died. In some twisted way, teaching Jason that someone like me was only a weakness was to keep him safe from the kind of pain that would come from losing me. But I wasn't going anywhere. I needed him more that he probably needed me.

"I guess you're right." He whispered. He pushed himself off the wall only to hesitantly wrap his arms around my waist. My eyes widended when he rested his head in the crook of my neck. He relased long breaths, causing me to relax in his arms, the feeling of content washing over me.

"I'm so fucked in the head, Daisy. Even though I feel confident about myself most of the time, there's this small shitty part of me that insults every little thing that I do. It calls me a monster that doesn't deserve anything. It gives me dark and negative thoughts and drives me so angry that I end up doing things I regret."

Oh, Jason.

"You have to understand me, please. Every time I push you away, you have to fight for this. For me." He said into my hair, his breathing irregular. I shut my eyes tightly as tears formed there.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Jason." I mumbled, my hand stroking the base of his neck soothingly.

His arms tightened around my waist.

"Thank you. You have no idea how lost I was without you." He whispered gently.

I smiled in content, feeling my heart slowly recover and reach out to pick up its broken pieces. I felt like I truly knew him for the first time. The reason behind his mood swings and harshness towards me so unexpectedly all the time. It made me love him even more, knowing that he was battling himself for the both of us.

"I love you." I whispered.

He never responded, but this time I was patient. If he wasn't ready to say it back, I would wait. I would wait forever.

***

Hand in hand, Jason and I headed towards our Chemistry class, content smiles on our faces. After ten minutes of a heated make-out, I was so sure that my professor was really going to kick me out this time. We were thirty minutes later to a hour and a half duration class. I didn't regret being late this time though, because this time it was worth it. Making up with Jason caused a huge and tense load of weight to be lifted off my shoulders. I generally felt lighter, and the Christmas spirit inside of me was starting to make noises.

We entered the class, cutting Professor Stein off mid-word. He narrowed his eyes and glanced over at Jason and I, his eyes zeroing in on our intertwined fingers.

"This is the fourth time in a row you're late, Daisy. And you, Mr Black. You don't even bother to show up so I guess I should be delighted by your presence." His tone was beyond annoyed.

"Whatever, old man." Jason shrugged indifferently before pulling me along with him towards his seat. I wanted to protest since Amelia was already sitting besides his empty seat, with a heated glare on her face that was aimed solemnly at me.

"Scram." He told her once we were standing before their seats.

"Excuse me, I don't know who you think you are-"

Jason rolled his eyes, an annoyed look on his face. "I hate repeating myself. So fucking get lost before I make you."

"You can sit besides me!" She exlaimed, her heated glare intensifying on me. I looked around awkwardly, away from her glare. "Like you always do."

"Mr Black, you show up once a week and really have no right to order my students what to do. Take your original seat, now."

"Where would Daisy sit? On this bitch's head? I have had enough of your fucking shit talk in my ears, Amelia. I don't give a shit that Johnny Raymond liked you in the fifth grade or that you fucked every guy in highschool. You can move now or I'll make you."

Amelia turned bright red, embarrasment creeping up into her expression. She huffed and puffed, before grabbing her book bag and single notebook before rushing towards another open seat: my original one. Penny sent me a look and raised her brows in confusion, as well as Grayson. I simply smiled, excited to tell them that Jason and I were back on good terms.

Our relationship was funny, but he was a complex person. I wanted to be there and have patience with him.

"Have a seat, darling." Jason whispered, his breath fanning my ear.

I hummed and sent him a small smile before sitting in the seat where Amelia was once sitting. I could feel her glare aimed at me, but I tried to ignore it, feeling guilty for having Jason act so harshly towards her. She was a human being, and no one deserved to be treated that way. I said nothing however, afraid that Jason would snap at me once again and end up avoiding me altogether. My heart couldn't handle that much.

Jason sat down besides me, pulling my body closer towards him on the wooden bench we were seated in. I flushed red, my cheeks flaming. One hundred set of eyes were were staring at us in silence, including professor Stein. Jason placed a lingering kiss on my hair. I could feel him smirk through the kiss. He knew this was causing me to blush, and purposely did so. Jerk.

"By the way, one more disruption from you two and I will have you out of my class." The professor sent me an almost disappointed look, his eyes clearly showing his disapproval. I breathed in deeply, my chest aching. Everyone disapproved of Jason and I, even my own best friends. "I have uploaded your results, finally after almost a month, and it is ready for you to see."

My sad thoughts diminished as the results of the practical flooded my head. I was excited to see my results, I always was.

"Give me your phone, Jason." I held out my hand towards him, when the professor resumed his lesson and all eyes were back to focusing on the projector.

"Why?" He asked slowly.

I turned to look at him and lightly slapped his shoulder.

"Because I left mine in the charger at the dorm and I NEED to check my results." I explained excitedly.

He sent me an 'are you for real' look which I ignored, still outstretching my hand expectantly. With a deep sigh he stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a sleek black iPhone 8. My eyes widened at his phone, seeing a real iPhone 8 for the first time in life. Not everyone is rich you know, so I didn't have the luxury of coming across expensive phones. I was still stuck with an old Samsung which had been there for me since forever.

I took the phone from his hand in bewilderment. "This is your phone?" I asked in shock, analyzing it from top to bottom.

"Why is that so shocking?"

"I don't know. I've just never had the luxury of holding an iPhone." I mumbled. The new iPhone costed atleast one thousand dollars, which was way out of my range. My savings account was nearly empty. I really needed to get a job.

"Well, do you want one?" Jason asked, eyeing me curiously.

Do I want one? "What, from you? Of course not." I stiffened. I would never in my straight mind accept something like that from a person. Also, I never wanted to ever reach to the point of relying on Jason to buy me things. My pride couldn't handle that.

"It's not a problem really."

"No, Jason." I sighed, pressing the power button of the phone. The once black screen lit up to reveal the wallpaper of the lock screen. I was surprised to see a picture of him, Alexis, Ace and another girl smiling at the camera. I assumed the girl was Ally, his stepsister. She was beautiful, with shining blonde hair and blue eyes. Both Jason and Ace looked so young, no older than sixteen years old, while Alexis and Ally looked twelve.

"You guys were adorable." I cooed, using my free hand to reach towards him and pinch his cheeks. Before I could do so he swatted my hand away in annoyance. I chuckled in amusement. His family had great genes. One could be envious of them for looking so perfect.

"Why did you want my phone again?" He asked, resting his elbow in the wooden desk before resting his head in his hand. He gazed at me with raised brows.

"Oh, right! I wanted to go online and check our results for the chemistry prac."

"That fucking task has been going on since day one. I hate it. And to make things worst this is the second time I'm doing it."

"Second?" I asked in confusion.

"I'm re-doing most of my courses from my first year because I failed the first time. I barely showed up to class and didn't study either." He shrugged.

"You're making the same mistake this year too, Jason." I said gently, resting my hand on his bicep.

"Whatever, I'm forced by my father to be here anyway. He chose chemistry for me. He likes to make the decisions in my life that I was supposed to make. Like when he told me to avoid you. I'd just gotten off the phone with him that day and told him about you. The same day you told me that you loved me. I thought that was the perfect opportunity for me to stop seeing you."

I nodded slowly, trying to process his words. I felt overwhelmed by emotions. Happiness because I was important enough to him to tell his father about me, and sadness because I remembered how harshly he told me that he would never love me. Does he still mean that? Or was it just an act? There was still a lot for me to get to learn about Jason. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to feel more close to him than ever. I didn't peg Jason to be the type that listened to his father, yet alone his every rule.

"Why do you let him do that?" I asked softly.

"I respect him too much." He answered.

I nodded once again, all these new things about Jason causing me to wonder, my brain once again going into overdrive.

"Go ahead, Daisy. Check your results. I know how badly a goodie two shoes like you would wanna." He motioned towards his phone, a lazy smile at his lips.

"Right." I blushed, focusing my attention back on the sleek phone in my hand. I looked down at the screen, seeing a numbered keypad. I typed a random set of numbers only for it to deny my access.

"Password?" I asked, flashing the phone at his face.

"It's my date of birth." He shrugged. "I'm not creative when it comes to passwords."

I frowned, realizing that I didn't know his birthday. "Which is. . .?"

"Twenty seventh of November 1996."

I mentally face palmed. "Your birthday is in a four days time? Why didn't you tell me? Wait forget that, I'm the most horrible girlfriend for not knowing your birthday oh my god!"

"Daisy," He chuckled in amusement. "It's okay. I didn't expect you to know."

I sighed deeply. "Ok, you're right. It's not like you know my birthday anyway."

"Nineteenth of January." He said smugly.

"How do you know that?" I gasped in shock.

"I have my ways." He smirked.

"Such a stalker, Jason." I remarked teasingly.

"You have no idea, baby."

I giggled causing a huge grin to form at Jason's lips. Instead of saying anything else he simply stared at me, his gaze never wavering.

I typed his password in, 27-11-96, and gasped when his wallpaper was revealed. It was a picture of me, sitting at my desk one night and squinting my eyes at my maths text book. Papers and pens were sprawled all over the desk. This was the fourth day of our relationship, when I decided that it was time to start studying for the exams in January. Jason had been teasing me all evening and called me a goody two shoes for studying, breaking me off of my concentration every minute, but I wouldn't budge. I eventually gave in and paid my attention to him instead of my books.

What I didn't know was that he secretly took a picture of me, one where I looked horrible. My legs were clad in a short jean shorts and I was wearing Jason's baggy black sweater that nearly covered the shorts.

"You are a stalker!" I exclaimed quietly, trying not to draw too much attention. People were already looking at us.

"Oh, please. I don't see why there is a problem when I wanted a picture of my girlfriend. I have like five pictures of you but I want more."

"Why?"

"Otherwise I'll have nothing to look at when I'm feeling horny."

I slapped his arm roughly. "Jackass."

He chuckled lowly. "I don't disagree."

"Stalker." I mumbled before paying my attention back to the phone screen. I tried not to grimace at his wallpaper and quickly went into the browser. I searched West Minister University and logged into my student account. Heading straight towards my semester chemistry practical I nearly jumped in excitement to view my mark. Everyone in the classes mark was present in one long table. I scrolled to 'M' and found my name amongst others.

McKenway, Daisy: 74%

My face dropped. Seventy-four percent? Great, I thought sarcastically.

"How much? One hundred?"

"No," I said sadly. "Seventy-four."

Jason scoffed. "That's fucking brilliant. This isn't highschool anymore. Fifty percents are considered a celebration."

"I guess I'm not used to it."

"Well, find my mark and you will end up feeling ecstatic."

"I care about your grades, Jason." I frowned.

"Well, go ahead. I doubt I even passed."

I scrolled to the top of the list and found Jason's name under 'B'.

Black, Jason: 79%

"Jason," I gasped. "Look." I showed him the screen. His eyes searched for his name for a short second, before they widened in disbelief.

"Holy fucking shit, did someone hack into this shit and change my grade?" He asked in confusion.

My mouth was wide opened in shock. I was about to reply when Professor Stein, who was looming over our desk suddenly answered.

"No one has in fact. I was quite surprised myself but the experiment you did, it was excellent." He said in approval.

"Is there another Jason Black in this class, because I swear I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I might have exploded the whole fucking lab and get expelled. Well, I kinda wish that happened but unfortunately it didn't."

The professor grimaced. "The experiment you did and the report your partner written has essentially given you that mark. All you need is a forty percent now for your first semester exams and you will pass chemistry."

Jason nodded, still seemingly in shock at the news. The professor gave us a small nod before moving on to the next person who wanted to discuss their mark. I forgot all about my seventy-four and suddenly squealed in delight.

"Jason! If you study and get atleast a fourty percent you will past first semester!" I beamed excitedly at him.

He cracked a smile. "I guess I will."

I reached over and squished him in a short embrace before pulling away.

"This calls for a celebration." I quipped up, clapping my hands together.

"You know what, it actually does. The highest grade I got my whole life was a sixty on a Japanese test. It feels fucking great."

"I'm sensing an inner nerd."

"Don't push it." He grimaced. I laughed, feeling happiness overcome me. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I took a glance at Penny to see her smiling in my direction. She sent me a small knowing wave. I sent one in return.

For the first time in days, I was finally happy.

***

When classes were over, Jason dragged me all the way to the dorm and forced me to wear other clothes. He wanted to take me somewhere but apparently I was dressed too airily. Nearing December the weather was slowly getting colder by the days, and night fell really quickly. The skies were dark at night by six pm, but I was too excited to go out with Jason to even notice.

The whole 'I love you' thing had wavered and I never dared to bring it up again. I didnt want to spoil what we had. When he was finally able to say it back, he would. And I was going to wait no matter how long.

"Wear the dark blue jersey. It really doesn't matter how you look to where we're going."

"But that jersey is too thin. Won't it be extremely cold outside?" I pouted.

"Damn, babe. It really doesn't matter what you wear. Are girls always like this?" He grumbled out.

"Of course we are. I have never met a girl that would leave the house without approving of her outfit first and making sure that it's cute."

"Fucking hell." He muttered. "If you claim you have nothing to wear even when you have everything to wear in fact, then go ahead and where my clothes." He offered.

"Are you crazy? I'll drown in them." I sulked and slumped down besides him on the bed. He had pulled them apart since the day he began avoiding me, but I so determinedly pushed them back together when we arrived back from classes. Sleeping without him besides me felt lonely.

"We can always stay here and make love. Either way is fine with me."

I flushed red and lightly nudged him.

He chuckled and turned his body to face mine. Before I could scooch over to give him more space he hands lifted me up by my waist and gently lowered me onto my back on the bed. He hovered over me and used his elbows to prevent his body from crushing me down. I blinked in shock when he slammed his lips against mine, his hand traveling towards my bare waist. I was clad in my bra and panty, since I was looking for something to wear and didn't really mind that Jason saw me like this.

I kissed him back just as ferociously, trying to make up for the lost time between us. After a few minutes, Jason pulled away and relased a long breath.

"You have no idea how badly I just wanted to have my way with you every single night, but I willed myself not to."

I gulped, feeling nervous.

"I am so sorry, Daisy. So damn sorry for what I've said. I didn't mean a word."

"Yet you said it anyway." I just couldn't help myself.

"My father have a very good way of persuading and he made sure that I would end things with you. But I didn't want to, that's why I avoided you instead. I thought my feelings towards you would go away but they obviously hadn't." He admitted, his eyes gazing into mine.

I bit my lip hard when tears started to form in my eyes. He had no idea how hard it was for me when he acted the way he had, like I meant nothing this whole time. If he could be so easily manipulated into leaving me by his father, how easy would it be for someone else to do it too. It hurt. It hurt like hell.

"Please don't cry," He whispered, bringing his lips towards my cheeks slowly. He peppered kisses all over my cheeks, causinge me to internally cry in happiness. "It makes me wanna cry too."

I laughed softly at that.

"I can't keep forgiving you when you do things like that. Do you have any idea how much it hurts?" I asked softly, my hands playing with his soft hair.

"Of course I do. Because the hurt you have been feeling, I have been feeling it too."

"Then please don't do it again." I begged, desperately wanting to sulk up the useless tears. I was stronger than that.

"I promise you, I won't."

A part of me wanted to believe him, but another part felt like it was a lie.

***

IMPORTANT: DO NOT hate Daisy for forgiving Jason so easily. She loves him and is afraid she will lose him. You have to understand, put yourself in her shoes. Love makes you do crazy things. Besides, she's trying to understand him and his mood swings. I promise you, this is the LAST time she forgives him so easily.

Till next time♡

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top