DAISY

"Ready to face the wrath of evil? They call me The Dragon for a reason."

I chuckled to myself and sent her a small wink. "Oh, it's on."

When Jason had left me all by myself with his sister, I had originally thought it would be awkward and I would be a tensed up mess. Alexis reminded me of her brother; extremely gorgeous with a tough exterior but soft like a marshmallow on the inside. I didn't know how well that went with Jason, but it definitely described Alexis very well.

And despite my first thought, it turned out to be really comfortable with her. She didn't give two cares in the world about what came out of her mouth when she spoke, but she also had a filter, and she didn't seem to judge what I said either. Since I was generally an awkward person, normal people of today's society wouldn't give me a second glance.

"Why'd you pick her? She's weak." Alexis scoffed, scrunching up her face in disgust. My chosen character on the Xbox game Soul Caliber had some Chinese name that I couldn't find myself saying out loud, but she wore some pretty interesting clothing. That was why I chose her in the first place.

"Well, why'd you choose him?" I looked at the bulging muscled man full of scars and marks and I chuckled at her.

"Um, he's awesome and excuse me but have you seen those arms? And that sword is awesome."

I laughed at her and tossed a gummi bear at her head. Jason took it upon himself to buy every bit of junk food in the store. He bought Alexis tubs of ice cream of all her and my favourite flavours, and he even rented out romantic movies for her. The gesture was so sweet I couldn't even believe my own ears when Alexis told me. The amount of care he had for Alexis was amazing. This confirmed my thoughts when he dumped the junk food in my arms and practically ordered me to take care of her and make sure that she was okay after today. I'd gladly accepted the request, because I had no problem with helping Alexis.

It was three days after the huge fight Jason had in the residence campus's corridor, and after he told me why he was beating that guy up in the first place. It took three days for Alexis to agree to seeing me and letting me give her some girl company. Jason told me that she didn't have much girl friends, and of the little she did have, they weren't very close.

"He does look cool." I agreed, referring to her chosen fighter.

"If you really wanted to choose a girl you should have chosen Natsu. She's tough."

"Too late now. Are you ready to 'defeat' me?" I asked playfully.

"Hell yeah."

We played for the next half hour. I had made great progress with Alexis, and surprisingly she had opened up to me about everything. I knew she would need a girl to talk to, but I couldn't help to wonder why she opened up to me so quickly. Jason told me that she didn't want to see non of her other girl friends, but with me, it was almost as if she was happy to see me.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked when she placed her controller down and used the tv's remote to turn it off. She sat down crossed legged opposite to me, mimicking my position. I couldn't help but notice the small butterfly tattoo on her exposed shoulder as she wore a black halter top. It was beautiful and suddenly I wanted one too.

"Go ahead, Pink." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, calling me the nickname she had given me the very first day I had met her.

I wanted to smile at her in amusement, but I didn't. I was too curious to know why she so gladly opened up to me. Alexis was very sheltered, just like Jason had told me. She always acted tough but was sensitive and emotional on the inside, using her tough act to shield the negative emotions she felt towards a lot of things. He told me how their father always misunderstood her, because it seemed as if two boys just wasn't enough for him. He felt frustrated that his wife had died and left him with just two boys and a girl. He wanted more males in the family, which I honestly found to be ungrateful and selfish.

That's why Jason and Ace had always been so protective of her, because their father could never be so himself when he didn't want a daughter in the first place.

"Why did you opened up so easily with me? I barely know you and you barely know me." I asked, my voice lowering slightly.

She looked taken aback by my question. I could tell by the slight fraction of her eyes widening. She pursed her lips before releasing a long breath.

"I don't know. I guess you made my brother fall for you. No one has ever been able to get an emotion from him since our mother died, not even me. When you became his girlfriend, he has been smiling so much lately. Showing emotions and refraining from punching someone in the gut when they did little to nothing to him. He even cracks jokes and acts like a fucking kid sometimes. I haven't seen this Jason in like ten years."

It was my turn to widen my eyes. But not for only a fraction, they widened to the size of saucers. I inhaled a long breath and never exhaled till I thought I would die without the oxygen. This news definitely surprised me. I knew Jason had been changing, but I didn't think that it would reflect in his everyday life. We had been together for almost a month now, and during that time he was the most caring and person.

Was I the reason for his change in behavior? Famous philosophers once said that love could change you, make you better. But Jason didn't love me, did he?

A sudden thought occurred to me. What I had been feeling for Jason could not have been a simple liking or attraction. There was only one emotion you felt towards the person you felt safe and beautiful with. Towards the person who protected you and made sure your self-esteem was high just so that you didn't feel bad about yourself. Towards the guy who showered you with kisses and left several marks on your neck just so that everyone knew that you were already his.

Every feeling I felt towards him, it drove me crazy. The want, the need, and missing him when he was gone. Craving his touch every single time he was gone in the day, even when it was just a few hours. My determination to make sure he knew he was a good person and continuingly trying to see his light side even when the darkness overshadowed it.

There was only one word to describe this emotion.

Love.

I suddenly felt panicked, my chest constricting at the thought of the huge amount of danger I had just put myself into. I have been so foolish! How could I have let myself fall in love with Jason? His life was so far and different from mine. I trusted him with my life, but the odious, serious part of my brain doubted that things would always be so perfect. One way or the other, the love I felt for him was going to turn around and hit me hard in the face.

My breathing sped up, causing Alexis to immediately become alarmed. She reached over to touch my shoulder, her eyes searching my face.

"Daisy, what's wrong?" She asked in surprise.

"I-I- think I'm having a panic attack. Oh my god this never happened to me since I was little!" I breathed out, my chest feeling unbelievably tight. I placed my hand there, feeling a swirl of emotions rush to my head. The fear of loving someone was buried deep inside of me. And when I finally realized that I loved Jason for more than just a friend, every insecurity I had came rushing back. The fear of not being good enough, the fear of Jason getting bored of me and liking someone else, and the fear of losing people who I loved deeply.

What if he didn't love me back?

What it I told him and he walked away in disgust?

What if he decided to leave me?

All the 'what if's' were giving me a headache, and suddenly pain spread thoughout my head and chest. The room felt like it was closing up on me, suffocating me. I was already claustaphobic, so it wasn't really helping my sitiation. Alexis was barely visible by the blurryness of my eyes.

"Daisy, just look at me. Focus your eyes on me and me only. Don't take in your surroundings, try to look at me and act as if we're having a normal conversation." Alexis began, her voice calm but I could detect the slight panic in it. I tried to look at her, but it was really hard when it felt like I was suffocating and all the oxygen that I took in my lungs were gone, leaving the carbon dioxide there to intoxicate it.

"I know you feel like the walls are closing up on you. But I need you to think about something that makes you happy. Sort of like a safe haven where you will always feel calm and safe. Can you do that? Please."

I shut my eyes tightly when my thoughts immediately spiralled back to Jason. The man who I loved. I imagined being in his arms, his strong arms that would always protect me. I recalled the tingles in my lips when he kissed me and the cosy feeling in my stomach. A feeling no one else could give me. I envisioned his beautiful face smiling at me and suddenly, all my fears left me. Just the mere thought of him calmed me down. My senses that were on overdrive suddenly stilled, giving me time to inhale the oxygen in the air. I breathed in slowly and deeply, my vision clearing up, the image of Jason's smile fresh in my mind.

The last time I had a panic attack, I couldn't calm down. They had to rush me to the hospital because it was that bad. But now, Jason calmed me down without even being here. It brought tears to my eyes, the salty substance became known when I felt my cheeks began to get wet.

"Daisy? Oh thank god you're okay! What the hell just happened? One minute we were talking and the next you completely freaked out. Is it something I said? Goodness, I'm so sorry, Daisy. Sometimes I just have no filter on my mouth-"

"It's not you, Alex." I sent her a teary smile, my throat suddenly dry.

"Then please tell me what happened? Is it all the junk food we ate? Blame it all on Jason. I swear that guy wanna get me fat sometimes."

Jason. I didn't want to see him. What would I do after I'd just literally had a panic attack over him?

"I just. . . God, I'm so stupid!" I scowled, feeling disgusted with myself for falling in love even when I knew I could get badly hurt in the end. I loved so many people in the past and they all let me down. I never wanted to feel that pain ever again. I may have trusted Jason, but the sheltered and negative part of me always doubted him. That part of me that I had pushed so far away warned me not to get too close. And in the end, I had.

I'd been so foolish. Falling in love with someone who I knew could never devote himself completely to me and only me.

An annoying voice in my head insulted me for having such low trust issues in Jason. But the defense mechanism I had spent so hard building up all these years completely overpowered that, and the selfish part of me wanted to keep my own heart safe and protected, even if it meant putting no faith in Jason at all.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked quietly. "Is it about what I have said before? About Jason?"

"Yes! It's about him. It always is. My whole college life exists around him and it negatively affected my studies, and brain and sanity and ugh! Exams are soon and I haven't even started studying! Gosh, I have no idea why-"

"I don't really understand where you are heading with that whole speech, Daisy. If you're trying to say that Jason is a regret you're telling the wrong person."

"A regret? He's not." I denied, meaning it. "He means so much to me. I'm just frustrated that he can leave me a jumbled mess when I know that I don't have the same affect on him."

"That's not true, Daisy. Jason really likes you and he is completely serious about the two of you." She stated, looking sure of herself.

"I have doubted and belittled myself too long to believe you now." I said quietly, looking down at my lap. I felt guilty. This was supposed to be a day where I comforted her, not rant all my problems out and expect her to understand me. I didn't even completely understand what I was feeling myself. I had no clue what I was saying or even admitting to her.

"Don't do that. Jason tells me you have low self esteem issues but why? There is nothing wrong with you."

"You don't know that. Where ever I go, I end up being hurt by the people I care about, and thrown away like I meant nothing. Do you have any idea how it feels to be hurt by the people you love and care about?"

Her eyes narrowed at me, hurt shining brightly in them.

"I don't know if you have realized but my boyfriend, who I absolutely loved and cared for, abused me for a month and I couldn't find myself leaving him because I was afraid I would lose him forever. My own father, who was supposed to love and care for me, is disappointed that I have a vagina and not a fucking penis. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

I felt tears slide down my cheeks, my emotions too overwhelmed since the past ten minutes.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, looking away in shame and hastily wiping my tears away. She stilled and stayed silent, not talking after that and instead stared down at her lap. I looked at her saddened face and suddenly she reminded me of Jason. I wanted to take his pain, and as I stared at the girl who looked just like him, I wanted to take away her pain too.

I moved forward and gripped her hands in mine, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes were teary, causing a wide opened hole to form in my chest.

"Do you know what, Alexis? The guy who have hurt you can go fuck himself or fall somewhere in a deep hole and die, because the pain of losing him will waver over when you find your special guy who is going to cherish and love you forever. You won't even have a memory of that douchebag, that's how unimportant he is going to be one day." I said fiercely. "And as for your father, he is selfish and ungrateful and plain ignorant for not fully loving an amazing person like you. But do you know what? You don't need his ungrateful ass because you have two amazing big brothers who love you more than anything and will always protect you. Do you understand that?"

Her expression was priceless. She looked ready to build her wall up high and push me away, but at the same time she looked ready to hug and thank me for my words. Her expression confused me. She looked grateful, but hurt at the same time.

"I- I don't know what to say." She finally admitted.

"Don't say anything. Just believe that everything is gonna be okay. Okay?"

"Okay." She agreed, shutting her eyes tightly before opening them again. She look at me seriously. "Thank you. I really appreciate you coming here and trying to console me. It means so much and I am so glad you managed to love my brother. I didn't think that was possible, but you were stubborn enough to want to see his good side even when the darkness tried to push you away the whole time."

I choked on my own breath.

"Love?" I squeaked.

"You heard me. You don't have to respond to this, but I know now why you panicked. You realized that you love Jason and didn't think you could handle it. But I know for sure you can."

"I love him so much." I gushed without hesitation, feeling relieved that she understood me.

"But?"

I sighed, and felt guilt eat me alive.

"But I'm afraid he would hurt me. Get bored of me and leave me behind one day, wounded and in tears. I am scared that he won't love me back." I became teary again just by looking at her, but the reassurance in her eyes slightly calmed me.

"It's okay to be afraid, Daisy." She moved over, reaching towards me and pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back despite the awkward position of the both of us sitting crossed legged on the floor.

"Thank you." I whispered. Before she could reply, the sound of her dorm room door opening pulled us apart. Since my back was towards the door I had to strain my neck to turn around. When I saw the sight of Jason I immediately became alarmed and pulled at the brown strands of my long hair, making sure the strands were obeying gravity and not standing up all over the place. Alex noticed and instantly smirked.

"Hello, dear brother. Back so soon? Daisy and I were having a moment." Alex winked at me as she stood up. I followed her movement's and caught the look Jason sent me. When he left she barely wanted to look at him, but she was acting as her usual self again. Was it me? Did I bring back the old Alexis? I mentally high fived myself and grinned maniacally. A tiny but noticeable selfish part of me wanted to be praised by Jason for bringing back the normal Alex, but the righteous and caring part of me was just glad that his sister was finally speaking normally to him again.

"Are you okay, Lexy. . .?" He asked hesitantly, looking awkward for a second.

"Of course I am okay!" She beamed at him. "All thanks to Daisy. She is really something special, Jay. Do not hurt her or I will end you slowly."

He chuckled in amusemnt and smirked slightly. "There is no world where I would ever think about hurting my Daisy."

I blushed hard and looked away, while Alexis excitedly beamed at him, looking on top of the world. I could feel Jason's burning stare on me, but I refused to look at him and focused my attention on the abandoned Xbox instead. I couldn't find myself facing him when I just confessed to Alexis that I loved him. It was humiliating and would be worst if he didn't feel the same way as I did.

After a few tense seconds of silence, Jason finally cracked it. While he looked calm and relaxed, Alex looked happy and foolish and I looked like a mad and blushing mess.

Look what he did to me in just a few seconds. Man, he was like a drug. A drug that I became high on whenever it was near.

"Are you really okay, Lexy?"

"I'm perfect. Thanks for beating Damien's useless ass."

Jason's eyes darkened at the mere mention of Damien. "Say the words and I'll finish off where I started. I won't leave him for someone to find next time. And I hate that I did such a half assed job on the shit when he deserves so much worst."

"It's okay, Jason." I finally piped up. His heated eyes snapped torwards me. "It's fine." I assured him with my eyes. He seemed to calm down almost instantly, his eyes softening. He stalked towards me, his eyes never leaving my face. When he ended up infront of me his scent immediately hit me. I inhaled the musky smell of his after shave and the faint trace of cigarettes, feeling relaxed all of a sudden. His presence assured me safety and I felt at rest being near him.

"I missed you today, baby." He said huskily. "So much." He whispered the last part for only me to hear.

"Uh huh," I let out a shaky breath and glanced towards Alex who had a smirk on her face and her arms crossed.

"You didn't miss me?" He pouted.

"I missed you too." I mumbled, blushing hard, my insides all mushy. "So much." I repeated his words, using my finger to trail it softly up his strong jawline. I noticed a bruise on his lower jaw, but had to squint my eyes to properly see it.

"What happened here?" I asked quietly, gently tracing the outline of the bruise.

"Nothing serious, you don't have to worry."

"But it's my job to worry about you." I stated.

"Not this time, Daisy." He said with a final tone, no more room left for argument. I sighed deeply, worried for his safety. The things he did was risky and anything could happen to him any time. I was afraid he would get taken away from me all too soon.

"Daisy have something important to tell you, Jay." Alex stated, her eyes looking at me expectantly. I shot her a 'are you crazy' look, wondering what the hell she was thinking.

Jason looked at her with raised eyebrows before sending me a confused look. "You do?"

"No!" I blurted, sending Alexis a secretive glare. "I just wanted to say that I missed you."

"But you already told me that."

"I just really missed you I guess." I covered up the fact that I really wanted to tell him I loved him, hiding my heated face behind my hair. There was only so much I could hide from him before he knew that I was lying. It was normal for Jason to unravel someone like a piece of cake. Only, I was still keeping so much from him about my past and for some reason he never digged on about it. I was scared that if I confessed I loved him now, he would find out that I was a lying bitch and not love me in return. My heart ached at the thought of that.

"I've been gone for three hours only." He chuckled, ruffling up my hair. I pretended to be mad at him but secretely I was enjoying every second of being with him.

"A lot can happen in three hours."

"You're such a weirdo, Daisy."

"And you're a big fat meany."

"Are you calling me fat, Daisy?" He asked in amusement, crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

"No!" I rushed out, my eyes widening. "It's an adjective to the word meany. Duh?"

"An adjective? Oh man, you can't get any weirder, baby. But it's cute."

"Go rot somewhere in a gutter." I shot at him, mirth in my tone.

"Only if you come with me."

"Guys?" Alex asked, an overly confused look on her face.

"What?" We asked in unison.

"I don't know about you but I'm beat so please leave thy mighty dorm because I wanna sleep." She said dryly.

"I'm glad you're okay, Lex." Jason stated, looking overly joyed. "You should get back on track with your classes."

"I could say the same for you, big bro."

We left Alex's dorm quietly, after I had hugged her goodbye and made sure she knew not to tell Jason about my confession of love for him. She argued at first and said delaying things would only make it worst, but I managed to shut her up for now. By then it was already dark outside, since we were nearing November the night came quickly and the weather became drastically cold. Like thirty five degrees cold. I was dressed in a fuzzy black tights and a long oversized, pink jersey that ended above my knees.

Jason and I walked side by side towards our dorm room, in absolute silence. His hand gripped mine tightly as we walked like the ideal golden couple, side by side. My heart bloomed by being this close to him, and having his powerful presence next to me.

"Daisy?" He called quietly, when we were back to the dorm. I turned to look at him, reluctantly letting my eyes reach his.

"Yeah?" I mumbled in a daze.

"What was so important that you had to tell me?"

I stopped breathing suddenly. "Nothing." I lied, my heart beating at an abnormally slow and heavy pace.

"Don't lie to me. I could tell by the way you and my sister were not so discreetly whispering to each other. There's something you wanted to tell me. It's written all over your face."

"I- I can't." I breathed out.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid." I answered softly.

"Of what?" He looked impatient, ready to force the answers out of me.

"You."

His expression darkened dangerously, his legs moving on their own accord towards me. "Why would you be afraid of me? After everything..."

"It's not like that. It's not what you are thinking." I explained slowly, trying to justify how stupid I sounded telling my boyfriend I was afraid of him. That had to seriously damage his ego and pride, but that was really not my intention. My heart beat suddenly sounded loud to my own ears.

"Then please explain to me what the hell you are talking about? Is it something I did? Because I swear I never meant to scare you-"

"No, it's nothing that you did." That might have partially been a lie. "I'm just afraid of your reaction if I told you."

"I swear I won't hurt you."

"No, Jason. You don't understand." I said in frustration, raking a hand through my hair.

"Then make me understand, baby. Please."

His eyes looked so hurt, causing guilt to eat me away. He felt hurt that I still didn't trust him not to hurt me. It left a gaping hole in my chest, I felt the need to shower him with kisses and make sure he knew that I trusted him so much. But not in the way I wanted to. I trusted him in a physical way, but emotionally not so much.

"I-" I breathed in deeply, my chest constricting. "I love you." I whispered. "So much."

To say he looked shocked was the understatement of the year. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as he stared at me in disbelief.

Before he could say anything, I continued, "I've just realised that the emotion I have been feeling towards you isn't a simple attraction. I have strong feelings for you but I'm so scared you won't reciprocate those feelings. For the past month you have been so intoxicating, like a drug that I couldn't stop using. I need you, more than I realise myself." I admitted, looking down in shame.

He stayed quiet, his eyes leaving me almost instantly. And then suddenly, then turned cold, snapping towards me again. I wanted to crumble as my heart shattered a million times over. The familiar look in his eyes reminded me of how he used to treat me, with so much hostility.

His next words broke my heart, and crumbled every bit of security I felt with him.

"I don't love you."

I stopped breathing.

"And I don't think I ever will."

***

A/n. Wow, my heart literally just broke. I feel really bad for Daisy.

Do you have any thoughts on why Jason is acting this way?