DAISY

Weeks passed by of living in Jason and my wonderful apartment, and I've by far enjoyed every second of our time there. I was able to get back on track with my studies seeing as the apartment had great scenery and it was much more quiet than back at the dorms. I sometimes sat on the balcony and watched from afar how the salty waves crashed against the shore, creating white and foamy bubbles in its wake.

It was a beautiful scene and really calming when I became frustrated with my work. Trial exams were in January and I needed all the time I could get to prepare for it before my finals. I still couldn't believe that my first semester at college was nearly coming to and end. I grew comfortable with my job at Sweet Kisses for the past few weeks now, and both Clary and I became good friends.

It was just after one in the afternoon, when Mavis was supposed to pick me up to go to the mall for Christmas shopping. I stared at myself in the body length mirror in my bedroom, feeling satisfied with my cute outfit. Since the temperature was really low, it was cold outside and I wanted to find something cute to wear despite the cold. I found myself standing in a pair of black skinny jeans, a pink blouse and a black blazer, paired with black four inch heel ankle boots. I straightened my hair till you couldn't detect a hint of split ends anymore, and left my bangs to frame my face.

My hair grew longer since I first started college and now ended a fee inches below my middle waist. I felt the need to dye my hair a different colour, a more radiant colour for Christmas. When completely satisfied, I turned around only to bump into a shirtless Jason's chest.

"Why do you look like a kindergarten teacher?" He asked.

I slapped his arm in defense. "I happen to like my outfit."

"It's pretty. . . but I prefer when you're wearing nothing at all."

"So I should go to the mall naked?" I challenged, raising my brows in question.

"No, you should stay in with me and we can have sex all day."

"All you want is sex, you dog." I chuckled, pushing pass him. I gasped when I was pulled back. His arms circled my waist from behind, resting against my stomach. I immediately feel tingles shoot throughout my body.

"Because my girlfriend is so damn sexy, that's why." He whispered, bringing his lips to my ear. I sighed when he nibbled on my ear lobe, his arms tightening even possibly tighter around my waist. "Just give me five minutes before you go. I only need less than five minutes to make you come."

"I can't," I whispered, feeling breathless. "Mavis and Penny will be here any second now."

"Then let them wait, they can wait by the door till I'm finished with you." He said huskily, his head coming down to my neck. I felt his lips latch onto my skin, before he sucked the spot softly into his mouth.

"Jason. . ." I moaned, feeling his groin press against my back. I was quickly cut out of my daze when I heard the front door chime, announcing that someone was there. I gripped his arms and pulled myself away from him, much to both of our dismay.

"I have to go." I said, turning around to walk away when he quickly pulled me back. "Jason, I have to go." I said again, trying to shrug him off.

"You didn't give me a goodbye kiss." he pouted. I smiled and leaned towards him before placing a lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Better?" I asked.

"No." He sulked, reluctantly letting me go.

"I'll see you later, you big baby." I chuckled, grabbing my purse off the bed and making my way to the staircase.

"Remember what I told you. If any guy look even remotely close to making a move on you, kick him in the balls and run the opposite direction. And if he follows you, call me and I'll get there as fast as I can to beat him to a pulp. Okay?" He asked, looking at me seriously.

"Yes, I will." I giggled. I was obviously not going to do that.

"Good. See you later." He blew me a kiss.

"See you." I smiled, sending him a wave. I descended the steps and made my way towards the front door that chimed again.

"Coming!" I yelled, grabbing my key card off the counter before going to open the door. When I finally opened it I was surprised to not only see Mavis and Penny, but Alexis too.

They looked extremely awkward while standing next to her, and she couldn't look more happier.

"Daisy," Alexis said in excitement. She came forward and hugged me. "This place is huge and awesome. Who designed this shit?" She asked in amazement, inviting herself inside.

"That's all on Jason." I admitted. I turned towards Mavis and Penny.

"Ready to go, DayDay?" Penny asked.

"Yep, do you guys want to come in for a second? You haven't been here much."

"That's okay. We'll wait in the car." Mavis grumbled, before turning around to leave. I stared at her back in confusion. Penny sent me an apologetic look before following after her.

"Okay then." I mumbled, turning around to see Alexis admiring the chandelier.

"Hey Alexis, do you wanna come to the mall with my friends and I?" I asked, hoping she would accept my offer. Since Penny and Mavis were my best friends and Alexis was also becoming close to me, I figured it would be nice for them to get to know each other as well as I know each of them. I knew that Mavis wasn't the biggest fan of the Black siblings for god knew what reason, maybe their reputation, but she would have to deal with it since Alexis was also important to me.

Alexis turned around to look at me. "I'd like to but I don't think that your friends would like that."

I frowned. "I know that Mavis can be a bit blunt and cut off but I promise she is really great. You will learn to like her."

"No thanks, love. Besides, I came to talk to Jason about something. I'm sure we can go out a lot in the future, but not today." She smiled in apology, just as I heard Jason descending the steps of our staircase.

"Okay," I nodded in understanding. "See you later." I smiled before exiting by the door and quietly shutting it.

When I reached Mavis's car in the visitor's parking lot, I opened the door to the back seat and got in. I sat in the middle and leaned in between Penny and Mavis, feeling excited. I haven't went out with them in a while, too consumed with Jason, my new apartment and my studies.

"Aren't you guys excited? I am." I said giddily. I heard Penny's laugh.

"Me too. Christmas is in like two days."

"About that, do you have any plans for Christmas?" I asked, hoping that she would say no and I could atleast have one friend to spend Christmas with. I knew that both Jaxon and Grayson were going back home for the holidays, and so were Jason and Alexis. I was going to be alone, since I couldn't exactly intrude on anyone's holidays. College students waited for the holidays the whole year, they didn't need extra baggage like me and I wouldn't want to ruin their time with my misery and sad stories. Christmas should be filled with joy and happiness, where we got to open presents under the tree in the corner of our homes and eat some chicken pot pie. Or at least that's what I've been told from people and story books.

"Yes, I'm so excited to see my parents. They moved from here and are now living in Chicago. I'm gonna spend the holidays there." She answered, her tone excited.

My hopes immediately died. I was happy for her, but I felt lonely all of a sudden.

"That's great." I said enthusiastically. I was trying hard to hide the disappointment in my tone. "What about you, Mav?"

She shrugged, pulling out of the gates of the apartment complex and onto the road.

"Going back home too. Christmas isn't really a big deal to me."

I pouted. Her attitude towards Christmas was off putting. Atleast she still had family. I was the one with absolutely no one besides my friends and Jason. However, that was who Mavis was. Sometimes moody, sometimes a ray of sunshine and today just neutral. God knows how Jaxon has been putting up with her mood swings. It must have been good, since their relationship was still going strong despite their constant fighting.

We chatted the entire drive towards the mall about the gifts we planned to get and who were the people who even deserved a gift. I needed to get atleast eight, which was a damn lot. I planned to get one for Jason, Alexis, Ace, Jaxon, Grayson, Micheal and the two amazing best friends of mine present in the car. Given how broke I was, I'd probably just end up getting everyone a gum stick or a keychain. The thought of the gift was what really counted.

When we arrived at the mall we immediately began raiding every clothing and gift shop there was. I ended up purchasing a few items plus pretty little gift boxes and wrapping. I got watches, wallets, t-shirts, perfumes, chocolate boxes, Christmas socks and mugs, jewelry and some fancy Christmas accessories to decorate the apartment and make it feel more homely. I last decided to buy a photoframe for Jason's gift, and these matching Christmas jerseys I got for the both of us. I doubted he would wear it without me having to force him to.

By nearly the end of the day we arrived in the cafeteria of the mall, which was buzzing with noise. I used my last few dollars to buy a burger and fries, so that I didn't starve myself to death after all the shopping, exhaustion and tired feet.

I placed my shopping bags on the floor besides my seat and sighed.

"Mission accomplished. I've gotten everyone a gift and even some extra just incase some random aunt decided to show up on my family's Christmas dinner." Mavis said, before biting into her burger. I couldn't even find the energy to eat.

"I'm so glad we did this. And by the way, I absolutely didn't get you guys jewelry and makeup as a gift. So don't even think it." Penny said sternly, giving us a look. Sure, Penny.

"So. . . what are you doing for Christmas, Daisy?" Mavis asked, gazing at me as if I were some fragile piece of glass that would break with too much sound. They've been waiting to ask me this question all day, I could tell. Given that they knew about my childhood now, and how my parents were gone, they were probably thinking that bringing it up would be a sensitive topic. And true, in the past it would have been. But I have Jason now. I felt whole again.

I smiled. "If you're thinking that I'm about to break down because I have no family to go home to, stop because I'm completely okay. I'll probably just light some scented candles around the apartment, put up a Christmas tree and bake gingerbread cookies and tarts all day. And then, I will eat everything I've baked when I'm done and rewatch 2 Broke Girls again so that I can laugh. I will be okay." I assured them. It was fine. I've gotten over the whole 'I have no family so I have to be depressed on Christmas' type of thing.

"What about Jason? Won't you spend it with him?"

"I don't think so. He said that he always only go home to his family on the holidays for Christmas. I don't want to intrude. Besides, he never even mentioned it. So if he does suddenly pack a few bags and leave for a few days, I'll be fine."

"God, that sounds depressing." Mavis sighed "You can spend the holidays with me and my family."

"Or mine, Daisy. I won't let you spend Christmas alone." Penny said.

"I don't want to intrude." I said softly, looking towards my fries that suddenly didn't seem all that good anymore.

"Absolutely not. Michael won't be here either. He spends the Christmas holidays with either Jaxon of Grayson's family, or he just wings it with some other loner friends but he's okay with that. He's gotten used to it. But I really don't want you to be alone."

Micheal.

Oh god, I felt horrible for forgetting about him. It's just that I haven't seen him lately, or at all.

"There you have it. I'll just invite Micheal over. We're not close, but he's still my brother and I miss spending time with him."

"I don't think so, Daise. I think Jaxon said something about them going out of town for the holidays." Mavis said. "They won't be in town."

"That's okay." I sighed, starting to feel agitated with everything.

"No, it's really not. What kind of best friend would I be to let you spend Christmas alone?"

"Penny, I swear I am okay." I said gently, feeling a bit put off. I knew that they were just trying to help, but I'd convinced myself that I didn't care that I had no family. Secretly, I did care. I cared so much, but life seemed to be getting better with the new apartment, Jason, my new job and even my school work. I wanted them to stop keeping on about Christmas so that I could really move on.

"Fine, but I'll try to come back as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Penny." I said in appreciation. They were such good friends, and I really appreciated her offer but I wasn't going to ruin everyone's time by bringing a pile of sad baggage. The girl who lost her whole life and family when she was twelve.

We ate our meals in silence, and they never brought it up again. I was even more grateful by the time we left the mall and were on our way towards the car. We hoped inside after loading our bags in the trunk, with me once again sitting in the backseat and pouting because of it.

Then, I suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you about something Penny." I began, a smirk on my face.

"Sure, what is it?"

"You thought I wasn't still there that other day after our english lecture but I saw you talking to Ace." I suddenly squealed and Mavis laughed. She knew about the Penny and Ace thing too. They have been seeing each other lately and Penny thought we were clueless about it.

"You were getting so blushy and he leaned closer and I was freaking out thinking he was gonna kiss you then you rushed to say bye and you walked away. What was up with that?" I asked in disbelief.

Penny turned towards me and I noticed her pale cheeks twinged with red. She was blushing!

"I panicked, okay. Ace is bad news. He did take my virginity a few years ago and left like it never happened."

"Oh please, Jason was bad news and he actually still is. But that didn't stop me from falling in love with him, and look now. Everything is going perfectly."

"So you're saying I should just..."

"Do what makes you happy, yes." Mavis said, stealing the words right out of my mouth.

"Well, he does make me laugh everytime and lift my spirits."

"See, exactly." I chuckled.

When I got back to the apartment, I bid goodbye's to Penny and Mavis, promising that we would go out again in the future. Our semester finals were soon and when that ended, we would have a month of holiday before the new semester, and lots of time to spend together as best friends. I opened the apartment door and walked inside, feeling tired. Shopping could really do a number on you. I dropped my bags near the side and hung up my blazer, before letting my eyes scan the apartment. It was empty. Jason must have probably been out or in our room.

I took the stairs to our room, hoping to find him there only to see that it was also empty. My shoulders slumped in disappointment. I was away from him all day and it felt way too long. Was that healthy? I searched the dressing closet and bathroom as well but he was still missing in action. He should probably be busy with gang related things, and I shouldn't worry too much because I really didn't need to know every step that he made in the day. I wasn't that clingy. I left the room to go downstairs again. I might as well kill time before he came back. I decided to wrap up my gifts.

***

A tired yawn escaped my lips, my eyes dropping. I was sitting at one the kitchen island's stools after having eaten one of my home cooked meals. I've wrapped all my gifts neatly in green and red boxes of all sizes and put ribbons on them all plus I've already cooked and made a cheesecake for fun out of boredom. I've watched a few episodes of my favourite series on Netflix, and by half past eleven Jason still wasn't home. I didn't want to text him and seem like a needy girlfriend, who felt lonely and lost without him. I didn't want to be that kind of girlfriend, but I was growing really anxious about when he was to return. Maybe he wouldn't be coming home tonight. It wouldn't be the first time he didn't, because sometimes he had work to do at night.

My elbows were propped up on the marble counter and my chin was resting in my palm. I was dazing off slowly, finding sleep to be so tempting after a long day, when I heard the apartment door bang open and closed. I jumped in fright, nearly falling off my stool. I only realized that it must be Jason a few seconds later, and snapped out of my daze immediately. I looked up to see him struggling to pull of his leather jacket, his face twisting in pain.

I jumped off my stool immediately and rushed over to him. "What happened?" I asked in worry, trying to help him but he shrugged me off. I stepped back, disappointment filling me.

"Nothing. Just a small fight with a rival gang." He grumbled, finally managing to pull off his jacket and shrug it to the ground. I bent down and picked it up before hanging it up next to my blazer.

"Which gang?" I asked curiously.

"A fucking new gang that entered town. Can you believe it? Having the damn audacity to come invade here when there are two resident gangs here that wouldn't hesitate to pick a fight with them. Fuck, those guys did a number on me." He groaned, walking towards the couch with a slight limp to his step. I tried to help him, but he kept shrugging me off and trying to do it himself. I tried to ignore how that move really hurt me. He slumped down onto the couch.

I hesitantly sat besides him. I hated when he was in this mood. "Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?" He snapped. I sighed and stood up, walking towards the kitchen's broom closet that held our first aid kit and walked back towards where he sat. I opened it up and took out bandages, band-aids and some anti-infectives. He was bleeding and there was some dried blood on his face. As much as I was hating the way he was acting, I also hated to see him this way. I began cleaning his wounds, and he said nothing, only stared deeply into space.

"So, why did that new gang decide to show up?" I asked, despite knowing that he hated when I asked questions about his other life.

"I heard something interesting today." He suddenly spoke up, completely ignoring my question.

"Uh, what did you hear?" I asked hesitantly.

"That your parents are dead." He answered simply, his head turning to face me. I froze completely, stopping my movements. I stared at him with wide eyes, my heart feeling just about ready to leap out of my chest.

"W-Who told you that?" I stuttered feebly.

"Ace. He said something about it slipping out of your mouth by accident a few weeks ago. He asked me today if I knew that your parents are dead." He looked at me seriously, his expression calm. Way too calm given the fact that I lied. "Are they?"

"Yes," I whispered, lowering my head. "They passed on a few years ago, leaving my sister and I to different orphanages."

"So you were an orphan and your parents are dead, and that's something I wasn't supposed to know of because?" He raised a brow. "That's not something you fucking keep from me, Daisy. I've known you for nearly five months now, and we've been together for almost three months."

"I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you." I said pathetically.

"When? After you pretended to go home and spend the holidays with them? With your dead fucking parents. Were you gonna eat the damn pot pie at their graves?"

I flinched back, my hands dropping the cotton wool. I stood up and shook my head in disbelief. Sure, I lied about my family but he didn't have to be absolutely cold about it. Had he completely forgotten about the fact that I was the one with no family? And instead of calling me out about it, he could of atleast felt an ounce of pity. I was in the wrong, but my judgement was clouded by hurt and emotions. What hurt the most was that he wasn't able to see that.

"I said that I was sorry." I mumbled, my voice feeling stuck in my throat. If he was acting so harshly towards this lie, I didn't want to know how he would react to the truth of me living most of my teen years with his rival gang. He would be livid. He couldn't find out, but it would be really wrong of me to keep it from him. I felt conflicted. Do the wrong thing for a temporary good outcome, or do the right thing and have a completely different and bad outcome. I couldn't decide, and in that moment emotions began suffocating me.

It was what lying did to people. It suffocated them, because once you've lied for too long, there was no going back.

"Sorry isn't gonna bring your parents back or change the fact that you've been sprouting fucking lies from day one. You told me that you come from London, but that was a big damn lie too. You said you needed space and I gave you nearly a month of space and yet you still haven't told me about your past? I found out by somebody else that you were a damn orphan. But whatever, because it wasn't really important to tell me." He said sarcastically. He seemed pretty banged up just a few seconds ago, but now everything seemed to be okay. But it wasn't, it wasn't okay.

"I might have not told you the truth, but you're acting way too insensitive to someone who has lost their parents at the age of eleven." I snapped, feeling hurt and wetness form in my eyes. I really wasn't good with confrontations or emotions. "I've been alone for so long with no family, but that's okay because I freaking lied to you. That gives you a pass to be an asshole right? Because guess what, you're being the biggest damn asshole I have ever met right now." I ended pathetically, using the back of my hand to wipe my tears away.

He was about to say something when I stormed away, heading straight towards the stairwell. I heard him stand up, and the sound of him following me upstairs but I paid no attention.

I began stripping off my jeans and blouse and entered the dressing closet.

"I was talking to you, Daisy. Don't walk away from me." Jason said in frustration, following me into the closet.

"You weren't talking, you were scolding me out like you always do. You know that, I just realized something. Our relationship, this relationship," I motion between the two of us. "Has always just been based on your decision. I never get a say in anything. I couldn't even get a job without you hawking me everyday and constantly wondering where I am at all hours of the day. I never text you when you're out late!" I said in exasperation, throwing my hand up. "But oh boy, the moment I do something wrong like lie, you get all angry at me. You're damn controlling and clingy, but I don't point you out on anything!"

"Stop bullshitting me." He said angrily. God, I'm going to murder him. "You're the clingy one. And don't try to turn this around on me, I'm not the one who lied about my parents being dead."

I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe he was acting so insensitive and cold. I ignored him despite how upset I was feeling, and pulled a nightie off of one of the many shelves of pajamas I owned before pulling if over my head and shrugging it on. I shoved pass him and walked into the bedroom, only to have his fingers latch around my wrist.

"I'm gonna go to bed, let go." I demanded.

"Not until we're done talking." He hissed

"Your definition of talking to me consists of you scolding me out all the time and controlling me. I'm done talking to you." I huffed, trying to pull my arm from his grasp but failed.

"So it's okay that you lied?"

"I said I was sorry, let go." I hissed, trying to pull away from him. For someone who was just beaten up, he surely had a strong grip.

"No. You're a liar. You lie about things like this and think that it's okay. I don't know anything about your past, how the fuck can I trust you?"

"You know me!" I said in exasperation, slumping in exhaustion. "You know me, you don't have to know my past to know that you can trust me."

"Your parents are dead. Why should that have been a secret? What else are you hiding?"

I suddenly got really mad, not only because he was throwing the fact that me parents were deceased all around, but also because he was spot on and knew that I was keeping more from him. I was guilty, completely guilty. And I was mostly just mad at myself for lying for so long. If I'd just told the truth from the beginning none of this would of happened.

"Stop saying it like that!" I cried suddenly. "You keep saying it with no emotion, as if having no parents, no family and absolutely no one in the fucking world is perfect!"

I was full on sobbing, my chest heaving up and down. His grip on my wrist slackened and his eyes immediately softened.

"Daisy-"

"No! Yes, you're right I fucking lied but you could have approached the situation better. Instead you come here after god knows how long without even sending a text to say you're going to be out late, and you start throwing around my dead parents in my face. You couldn't have thought for even a second how I'm feeling? How I've been feeling for so long now? So alone and afraid with absolutely no one. You couldn't have thought that I've been masking all of that hurt by one small lie? No, you didn't think that because you're a fucking uncaring jerk." I ended off, more tears sliding down my cheeks. My throat felt extremely dry suddenly.

I turned around when he said nothing and wobbled towards my side of the bed. I pulled the blankets open harshly and got under the covers, ready to sleep and put this all behind me. I was wrong before, giving into Jason wasn't the best idea. It was only a matter of time before he found out my worst of secrets, and left me for good. This was just a glimpse of what would happen in the future. Everyone leaves eventually, that's the life of Daisy McKenway. Jason had enough baggage as it was. One way of the other he would realize that I was just extra weight to carry, and that he would be better off without me.

I turned my head into my pillow and sobbed at the thought of him leaving me.

I felt him get into the covers besides me, before his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into his chest. I willingly snuggled up into him, wanting to enjoy our last moments before he decided to leave me. If he would, I wasn't sure. If I were him, I would. His head rested against my head and his hands softly stroked my back.

"I'm so sorry, baby." He apologized softly, his hand gently playing with my hair. I relaxed immediately, my sniffles becoming softer.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "God, I'm a fucking asshole. With everything that was on my mind with this whole new gang shit I wasn't able to think straight. I can't live right now knowing that you're hurt because of me. Punch me, kick me in the balls, call me the worst of names, anything to make you feel better."

I relaxed and sighed, my eyes feeling droopy. I was so glad my face was hidden in his chest, because if he was looking at me now, he would note that in my heard, I've already forgiven him.

"Come on, baby. Say something, please." He begged.

I stayed silent. I felt extremely exhausted.

"Daisy?" His voice lowered. He sounded defeated, his tone sad. "You said that you were always alone, and that you always will be, but I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, by your side in everyway." He rubbed my back gently. "Do you know why? Because I need you. And because I fucking love you." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."

When I said nothing, he sighed deeply. Minutes of silence between us. I kept repeating his words over in my head. I absolutely loved him too.

"Just leave me alone." I mumbled, before falling into a deep slumber.

It was decided then. Tomorrow I would tell him everything.

***