Chris P.O.V

That night, after my little break down, Grey stayed with me in my room at his place. We watched movies for half the night, his arm securely around me, making me feel like nothing could hurt me for the moment.

If only that lasted...

It was about 4 in the morning when I woke up in a cold sweat, trembling with fear because Grey wasn't beside me anymore. All that was running through my mind was,

"Where did he go?"

"Did he get tired of me too?"

"Did he see that I'm worthless?"

And the thought I didn't want to bear...

"Did he leave me too...?"

I felt tears begin to stream down my cheeks and I dry heaved for a second over the side of the bed, then I got up, running to the bathroom and spilling whatever was in my stomach into the toilet. I felt awful. I felt like I couldn't get any air. I felt alone. I wanted to scream but I didn't hear anything when I tried and suddenly, I couldn't see anything but blurry shapes around me. I couldn't see anything normal. I felt my heart speeding up, almost wanting to jump out of my chest.

Things were running through my mind that I hadn't thought in long time,

"They're all gone."

"No one would care."

"Take the pills."

"Use the blade."

Then, something set me off,

"End. It. Here."

I stood up shakily and stumbled through the bathroom, looking, with my hands for anything sharp or what felt like a pill bottle because I couldn't see anything still.

I finally felt what I was looking for, I felt the edge of a razor. I quickly dismantled it, not even needing to see to do so, knowing from distant memory of how to do it. I lifted the razor blade and that was all I could see, like tunnel vision. The blade. And my wrist. That's all... The thoughts were screams now, telling me, urging me, to put the blade down and slice. I hesitated for barely an instant, tears still pouring down my cheeks. I slashed the blade along what I thought was my wrist and I felt something warm on my arm, but no comfort, no nothing. Suddenly, arms were around me, I could see the blood running down my arm that wasn't mine, I then saw a gash in the palm of a hand. Grey's hand...

I dropped the blade and finally was able to see straight and clearly and I saw Grey's arms wrapped around me, trying to hold his hand the I cut away from my so I didn't get blood on me, "Chris, can you hear me..?" He said quickly and quietly, I nodded, letting out a quiet sob, "I'm here.. You're okay.."

I grabbed his hand with both of mine that I cut and squeezed the cut, "I-I'm sorry..." I mumbled, barely audible. He responded in a way I had never heard-- ever..

"Don't worry about me... YOU matter more right now..."