Chapter 1 | Fake

After that day, I started to live in delusions, as if nothing happened–as if I never knew the truth about me. I've always tried to forget that dark and tainted part of me, but for some reason, I couldn't be happy. The weight of reality became unbearable, and my mind sought refuge in a realm of make-believe. I tried to convince myself every day that I still belonged to the family that helped me, but my soul knew nothing could ever fill its space inside me.

With a trembling smile etched upon my lips, I pretended that all was well, displaying an illusion so convincing that no one dared question its authenticity.

"Carthage! Kanina ka pa namin hinihintay, tara na sa gym!"

Napataas ang dalawa kong kilay sa narinig. "Sa covered court tayo? Akala ko sa music room?"

My teammate shrugged with a hesitant smile. "Binago ni Ma'am Rañez."

I sighed. Alam kong Physical Education class ngayon ng section ni Mia. Hindi ko maalala kung nasabi ko ba sa kanyang sa gym rin kami mage-ensayo dahil masyadong occupied ang utak ko kanina sa pagmamadaling ayusan ang sarili.

"Where's Ma'am?"

Saglit akong nilingon ng teammate. "Nasa faculty, bakit? Are you going to talk with her?"

"Oo, makikiusap ako kung pwede bang sa Music Room na lang. Kukunin ko na rin ang speakers doon if ever na sa gym nga tayo."

I decided to take the chance and walked my way to the faculty. Hindi kalayuan iyon sa pinanggalingan ko pero sobrang init na sa daan. Kahit pa init na init na ako sa paglalakad, kinailangan ko pa ring ngumiti at bumati pabalik sa mga nakasasalubong na kilala ako. Some of them tried to strike a conversation, but I was already in a hurry. I am used to this kind of social life everyday, but it gets tiring the more it continues.

My shoulders lazily dropped when I got to the MAPEH Department. I realized Ma'am wasn't there. I asked one of the teachers inside if she knew my teacher's whereabouts, and she guessed Ma'am might be in the clinic.

Hindi ko pinahalata ang disgusto sa aking mukha–sobrang layo ng clinic mula rito! Kahit nawawalan na ako ng ganang maglakad muli, tinahak ko ang initan para kay Mia. Parang tanga lang, 'no? Everyone on campus knows me as Mia's cousin, but the truth is I am her half-sister. Since I couldn't accept I wasn't a legitimate child, I made it clear to her that we weren't alike. In most situations, I'd bully her to satisfy my pride. Then, by the end of the day, I'd be either guilty, like I was now, or regretful. Hindi si Mia ang tanging biktima ng masama kong ugali–marami sila–dahil ayaw kong nasasapawan ng kahit sino.

"Ma'am? Excuse me," I called our teacher when I entered the clinic.

"Yes, Carthage? Hindi pa ba kayo nagsisimula? Pinakuha ko na kanina ang speakers," she asked.

"Hindi pa po. I'm here to ask if p'wede po bang sa Music Room na lang kami mag-practice? I mean, the gym is big, but maraming gumagamit so we might get distracted or kami pa ang makaabala sa ibang naroroon," I politely asked.

Ma'am sat down on a black swivel chair. "Sarado pa ang Music Room. Wala pa si Sir Enriquez para i-open ito kaya sa gym muna kayo. We can't ditch another practice, alam mo 'yan. Hindi kayo makakaabala kung seryoso kayo, 'di ba? Hindi rin kayo magpapa-distract kung disiplinado kayo."

Fine–defeated, Serin. Gustuhin ko mang ipilit na sa ibang lugar na kami mag-practice, mukhang hindi na papayag si Ma'am sa tono ng kanyang boses.

"I understand, Ma'am. Magsisimula na po kami."

"I'll be there, ha! Make sure na may mapa-praktis kayo at walang landiang magaganap. I heard, the basketball team is training too today."

What? My God! Mahihirapan akong disiplinahin ang iba kong mga kasama kung kasama namin sa iisang lugar ang basketball team. My teammates are fond of the players, but who am I kidding? Everyone knows I'm in a relationship with one of them. I lazily opened the heavy doors of the gym, and the noises became audible as I entered. My eyes wandered around, looking for Mia's section to confirm if they'd be here today with us all.

I wasn't done looking for Mia when my closest teammate excitedly jumped in front of me. "Carthage! Buti nandito ka na. The basketball team is also here and oh my gosh!"

My brows creased, irritated with her voice. Tinuro pa niya ang banda ng mga nagba-basketball na para bang hindi ko pa iyon nakita at narinig kanina. I pretended to be intrigued. Honestly, basketball and the school's team never piqued my interest. I couldn't identify which portion was so special about them, but who was I to criticize? I was just like the rest, who wanted to befriend every well-known student to be included in their circle.

Eros Entel, one the best players of this year's team, was the center of attention. It wasn't long after people knew I was dating him. When we finally revealed to settle the rumors, the campus lit up with sheer excitement. It didn't take long for our presence to become a source of delight for everyone around us.

Gaya ngayon, lahat ng mga nasa gym ay nasa amin ang tingin. Lahat sila ay kuryoso at mataas ang expectations sa amin ni Eros. Kahit ang pinakamaliit na bagay ay pupunahin nila kaya pinilit kong ngumiti para itago ang tunay na iritasyon. I agreed on this setup in the first place, so I needed to play my role perfectly.

Hindi naman talaga kami at walang feelings involved. I mean, I couldn't even love myself–paano pa ako magmamahal ng iba? I never knew what love was. Pakiramdam ko nga, wala iyon sa bokabularyo ko at parang hindi rin gumagana ang love hormones ko.

Wala akong paki-alam kay Eros noon pa man. Nakilala ko na lamang siya dahil sa friends of friends at iilang mga campus articles. He wasn't the first guy to ask me to be their girlfriend, but he was the only person I answered in exchange for fame. Eros agreed to be my fake boyfriend, making his Mia-related duties easier. I decided to be his fake girlfriend for the sake of popularity.

When I got close to the whole Cheering Squad, only then did the teasing get hyped up.

"Sana all!"

"Sana lahat may Eros!"

"Prayer reveal naman, Captain!"

My smile remained even if the teasing was annoying. "Let's start, everyone!"

Walang nakinig sa sinabi ko dahil kalmado pa ang aking approach. I rolled my eyes because their attention was on the basketball boys, not me.

"Guys! Ano ba?" I snapped.

"Sorry," hingi nila ng tawad at agad nagsipag-ayos.

"May choreography na tayo, right? Tinuro ko na iyon the last meeting. Line up and create five rows. Let's practice the steps again bago sa mismong formations."

"Inspired masyado, Carthage?" tukso ni Vivien, the one closest to me among all of them.

I just rolled my eyes na kinatili niya naman. It was somehow amusing to see people convinced of our fake relationship. We didn't even have to exaggerate our acting skills to look legit. Lagi nilang iniisip na nakakakilig ang mga ginagawa ni Eros sa akin at naiinggit pa ang ilan dahil ang perfect daw namin. I mean, the campus it girl and the hot basketball player is in a relationship? Hindi na kataka-taka kung bakit kami lagi ang topic. Natatawa na lang ako dahil ang daling lokohin ng mga tao.

I turned around when they were ready in line so they could follow me. Tumalikod na ako nang nasa pila na ang lahat para maging guide nila sa pagsayaw. Vivien turned on the music before heading to her spot. Saglit akong sumayaw kasabay nila at tumigil lang kalagitnaan para tingnan ang progress ng lahat.

I stopped the music because I wasn't satisfied with their performance. Lahat ay kulang sa energy, ang iba pa ay wala sa timing na para bang nasa ibang planeta ang mga isip.

"Ang pangit!" I scolded as I turned off the music. "Kulang kayong lahat sa energy at hindi synchronized. We already practiced the steps at the last meeting. Bakit parang naliligaw pa rin kayo?"

No one from my squad reacted, so I quickly heard waves of laughter at the far end of the gym. I searched for the possible reason behind it. Mia walked out, and I knew why.

"Mag-usap tayo," Eros blocked my view just to whisper that to me.

I was watching Mia, damn it! Agad naman kaming inasar ng mga tao sa gym. Napa-iiling na lamang ako.

"Na sa practice pa ako. Can't you see?" I whispered in gritted teeth.

He sighed, not accepting my excuse. "Mabilis lang."

"Oo nga, Carthage. Kami bahala sa 'yo kapag dumating si Ma'am—"

"And you think she'll believe you? Sa akin pa nga lang, maldita na 'yon."

I looked at Eros. "Mamaya na—"

"Pero si Mia," pabulong niyang sabi.

"Mamaya nga," I said with finality.

Nagtagal ng tatlong oras ang practice naming dapat ay dalawang oras lang. Para kaming ginawang robot ni Ma'am Rañez. Sumakto pa kasi ang dating niya noong kinukulit ako ni Eros kaya nadamay ang buong team. Now, my feet hurt big time. They didn't blame me for it, though. The good thing about being on top of society is that people would not hold you accountable.

"Serin," someone whispered somewhere.

I rolled my eyes.

"Serin, huy!"

Eros fucking Entel.

"Serin—"

"Isa pang 'Serin' mo," banta ko nang bahagyang nilingon siya.

Eros chuckled. "Ang snob mo talaga, 'no? Kung hindi ka pa bubwisitin, hindi ka pa mamamansin."

Inirapan ko muli siya at inayos ang aking locker. Wala namang sasabihing importante 'tong epal na 'to tuwing ganito siya kakulit. Nakaka-drain lang siya ng social battery kung papatulan. Pagod na ako mula sa practice at klase, may balak pa siyang dumagdag.

"Ang sungit. Ganyan ba epekto kapag three hours ang practice?"

"Shut up."

"Ang tagal mo naman kasi diyan sa locker mo. Inabot ka na ng halos thirty minutes. Ano ba 'yan? Dinadasalan mo pa?"

"Just wait! Ikaw na nga 'tong may kailangan—"

"Kanina pa ako naghihintay—"

"Then, be fucking patient, okay? Matatapos na ako, huwag kang maingay." I said.

I irritably threw my makeup kit inside the locker because my look was ruined. I didn't hear any of Eros' comments anymore. I took the wet wipes inside my bag to wipe off the makeup on my face. Sinayang ko ang aking oras sa pag-aayos. Kung nanahimik muna si Eros habang naghihintay, tapos na sana ako at nasagot ko na ang mga walang kwenta niyang tanong. I threw my used wet wipes. Tinignan ko ang sarili sa salamin. Wala akong suot na makeup ngayon. I didn't look ugly–I was never ugly–I looked pissed.

Binilisan kong ayusin ang locker at sinara agad ito nang natapos. I faced Eros with a sarcastic look.

"Ask me now," I said when I finally gave up.

He sighed. "Wala akong tanong dahil nalaman ko na kanina—"

"Why bother me, then?"

Eros rolled his eyes. "May sasabihin ako."

I crossed my arms on my chest. Pagod na ako at inaantok na rin kaya sana'y may sense itong sasabihin ni Eros. Parang buong araw akong galit sa mundo kahit normal naman para sa lahat ang nangyari ngayong araw. Minsan, hindi ko na maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko.

"Lukan is pursuing your sister—"

"She's not my sister," I corrected. "Ano ngayon kung ligawan ni Lukan si Mia—"

"Lukan is a jerk, alam mo 'yan—"

"No, he's not. Biktima lang ng mga kaibigan niya—"

Eros chuckled, his mischievous yet gentle eyes fluttered. "At may gana ka pang sabihin 'yan kahit iniwan ka niya sa ere?"

Well, Lukan left me behind years ago without any explanation. Akala ko pa noon dahil lang busy siya o dahil lang mas gusto niyang kasama ang mga lalaki niyang kaibigan. Iyon pala, totoong ayaw na niyang maging kaibigan ako. Nasaktan ako noon pero ano pa bang bago? Magulang ko pa lang, iniwan na ako. Bakit pa ako masasaktan sa kaibigan lang naman?

I smiled. "Bata pa kami noon at hindi naman kami sobrang close ni Lukan. It is what it is—"

"Sa 'yo pa lang kaya na niyang gawin, paano pa kaya kay Mia?"

I sighed, not wanting to say the words inside my head. "Mia's different from me."

"Does that make any difference?" Eros asked, his eyebrows creasing.

"Yes. Mia is a good girl. Lukan would probably stay with her kung seryoso siya—"

"Paano kung hindi?"

"Well, you're there to fucking kill him, specialist," I said the obvious.

Eros sighed. "I'll probably kill him kung saktan man niya si Mia."

I chuckled. "I mean, you're Mia's specialist."

"And it is my job to keep her safe," Eros said.

"Whatever. Uuwi na ako—"

"Mia collapsed earlier, by the way," he said.

I was taken aback. "Bakit?"

"Dahil sa exercise nila kanina. Tinulungan siya ni Lukan kaya nakauwi na sila. Your parents probably invited him for dinner."

Inirapan ko na lamang siya at naglakad na paalis. Pagod na ako at kahit pa ayaw kong makasalubong si Lukan sa amin, wala na akong natitirang enery para iwasan siya. Parang tinutusok ang magkabila kong mga paa habang tinatahak ko ang daan patungong main gate ng school. I was already thinking of asking Armageddon to buy me a private jet like his for future purposes when someone grabbed me. My eyes widened when I realized Eros carried me in bridal style out of nowhere!

"What the hell? You're not my specialist so fucking drop me!"

"I'm doing this as your fake boyfriend."

"The fuck? No one's around except the guard and other school officials, so just fucking drop me—"

"Shut up for a moment, Serin," he whispered.

Mas lalo lang akong nagalit. Sino siya para utusan akong manahimik? Hindi ko naman siya inutusang tulungan ako, ni hindi ko nga rin sinabing masakit ang mga paa ko. My pride couldn't accept this despite realizing I forgot to call one of our drivers to fetch me. Hindi na rin siguro nila ako naalala dahil sa nangyari kay Mia kanina. It was understandable. Hindi rin naman ako araw-araw nagpapasundo.

Ako ang nagbukas ng pintuan ng sasakyan ni Eros. Dahan-dahan niya akong nilapag sa upuang katabi ng driver's seat. Nang ibaba ko ang aking mga paa, agad ko muling naramdaman ang kirot. Fuck, ang sakit talaga.

"Masakit ang paa mo?" he asked when he noticed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Just drive me home."

He smirked. "Kaya siguro walang gustong maging specialist mo dahil sa kasungitan mo."

I learned about Dominiko and Rhea Zorron's family after knowing the miserable truth behind my life. They let me participate in their spy organization, Lost, so I was one of those who should keep it a secret. Wala namang problema kung taguan lang pala ng sekreto.

I was often with Armageddon because he was the only one who witnessed everything behind my identity. The organization's specialists work as personal bodyguards of each member of the Zorron family. Their sole mission is to look out for every member of the Zorron household since they could be prone to danger. These specialists can approach, talk to, and make friends with their masters.

My cousins have no idea about this. Dominiko Zorron's a spy; for the past years, he has expanded their organization. Eros is Mia's specialist, and I know his true fighting abilities. Trojan's specialist is his best friend, Pirad. Lierre's specialist is Danah Mabanta. Mayroon din sina Marcus, Contessa at Armageddon. Ako lang ang wala dahil personal decision kong hindi magkaroon. Kung may magbabalak mang patayin ako, sana bilisan niya dahil saktong wala naman na akong ganang mabuhay.

"Bakit mo pa ba kasi tinanggap ang offer kong maging fake boyfriend mo kung susungitan mo lang rin pala ako?" reklamo ni Eros.

"Bakit mo pa kasi ako ginawang fake girlfriend mo para lang mapadali ang pagbabantay kay Mia?" I asked him back.

"I asked first, Serin."

"Fucking cut the Serin."

"Bahala ka."

Padabog akong sumandal. Ayaw ko na sabing makipagtalo sa kanya!

"Answer me," pangungulit niya.

"I want the fame," my subconsciousness said.

"What's with you and your longings for fame?"

I immediately regretted what I said. My skin turned cold when Eros dared to ask me such a personal question. "Never mind."

Mabuti na lamang at na sa harapan na kami ng aming gate. Mabilis akong lumabas sa kotse ni Eros at walang paalam na umalis. Naabutan kong kumakain na ng dinner sina Dominiko, Rhea, Lukan, at Mia sa aking pagdating. I tried to join but in the end, I decided to go upstairs to be alone and rest. It wasn't my scene anyway.

Nakaupo na ako sa aking kama at handa na sanang kumain ng gabihang dinala sa aking kwarto nang binulabog na naman ako ni Eros. He kept flooding me messages to talk to Mia about Lukan. Inuutusan niya akong magsinungaling kay Mia para daw ma-turn off kay Lukan.

So ganitong paraan ko pala mapapagaan ang trabaho niya? He'd send me off whenever he couldn't do it. Halata namang crush siya ni Mia, bakit hindi na lang siya ang manira kay Lukan? Paniguradong maniniwala naman sa kanya si Mia. Dahil sa kakulitan ni Eros, muli akong lumabas at kahit masakit ang mga paa ay hinintay ko ang pagbalik ni Mia nang ihatid niya si Lukan palabas.

Mia's eyes widened when she saw me. "Oh? Akala ko tulog ka na, Ate."

"Naah. I want to talk to you. P'wede ba?"

Mia tried to hide it, but it was evident that she was intimidated by my presence. "Yes, of course."

"Hmm, so... close kayo ni Lukan?"

Mabilis siyang umiling.

I acted as if I didn't know anything. "Bakit siya nandito kanina?"

"Ah, tinulungan niya kasi ako kaya inimbitahan siya nina Mama't Papa na mag-dinner..."

"Tell her that my brother's an asshole," bulong ni Eros sa kabilang linya.

I fucking ordered him to keep quiet while I was talking to Mia! He wanted to listen to our conversation, so I secretly used my AirPods while holding my phone.

"I see. Hmm, alam mo naman sigurong manloloko ang isang iyon, 'di ba?" I brought up out of nowhere because Eros was pressuring me on the other line.

"Of course! I am well informed."

"Tell her to stay away from him, Serin."

Ayan na naman ang nakakabwisit na Serin.

"Good. Huwag kang mahuhulog sa mga lines no'n. Baka may balak 'yon. Alam mo na," I lazily obeyed Eros' silly order.

"Yes. Thanks, Ate." Mia sounded so sure she wouldn't fall for Lukan.

I scanned Mia's face and didn't say anything. She'd probably experience new things in the following days. Sana lang ay maging magandang impluwensya si Lukan sa kanya.

"No prob. Layuan mo siya or kung hindi mo kaya, iwasan mong kasama." Ayan, masaya ka na, Eros?

"Yes, I get it. By the way, do you also hate him?"

"Tell her that you hate him. Imbento ka ng rason," Eros said–couldn't you just keep quiet? Sana ikaw na lang talaga ang nakipag-usap!

I smirked even though I already had enough of this drama!

"He was one of my suitors before. Binasted ko siya dahil sa ugali niya."

Kahit ako ay gusto kong masuka sa naisip na rason. I heard Eros chuckled on the other line. Mas lalo lang kumulo ang dugo ko sa epal na 'to. Nadamay pa tuloy ako ngayon sa kwento ng iba.

"And maybe, just maybe... he's using you as a rebound dahil sa ginawa kong pangb-basted." Pinagsasabi ko? I wanted to slap myself for saying those words.

One thing's sure: Lukan's a good guy compared to Eros!

"Hmm, sige Ate," Mia muttered, eventually excusing herself to go inside.

Nang nakita kong wala na siya, agad kong sinagot ang madaldal na si Eros. "Sabi ko sa 'yo, manahimik ka!"

"You can't stop me. Anyway, thanks. I hope what you've said doesn't reach Lukan."

"Ilalaglag kita sa kanya, akala mo."

"And you think he'll believe you?"

I groaned and ended the call like I wanted Eros' existence to end.