Loving Edyth Swan
Prologue

09/11/99

The only two things that could truly keep people from finding their way back to each other are regret and fear.

Jonathan Attwood had enough of those to last him a lifetime.

He was as stubborn as the next person, refusing to admit that he had done anything wrong and would choose to lay blame elsewhere.

All he'd ever known in his life was how to run away from things and people, especially as the going got tough.

He found he was a coward amongst a den of lions.

There weren't many people in the world that understood him right down to his very core, and those that did, he kept them at arm's length. It was the safest place for them and him.

At least that's what he kept telling himself.

The truth was, he hadn't met anyone in the last five years who understood him as well as somebody he'd let go of a long time ago.

He had made some friends in the Air Force, but he couldn't find it in himself to open up. The other boys had realised long ago that he was a book full of riddles.

The young man hardly spoke much and loved to keep to himself most of the time.

He quite enjoyed their Friday nights where the pilots would go out to a local pub and get smashed. It was the only time they weren't constantly working.

It was also the only time Jonathan spoke up and cracked a few jokes – the only time the blonde man could forget about the life he had left at home.

The mistakes he'd made in life that led him to where he was today; flying planes for the Australian Royal Air force.

Despite the fact Jonathan loved his job, he still missed his home town of Melbourne desperately. He'd tried to forget all of the people he had left behind years prior, but it was becoming extremely difficult as time went by.

He was beginning to dream about places he'd long left behind and faces he couldn't forget. They were even haunting him in real life, in faces not quite theirs.

Having hardly slept much these days, he chalked it up to all the mere nightmares. The lie rolled easily off his tongue to his bunk mate, Adam, whenever probed about it.

Adam Doberman was a short, chubby redhead.

At least, that's what all of his pictures represented.

He had told Jonathan that his dream to join the Air Force required loss of weight. He'd spent many months losing weight in order to be a pilot. It'd been an extensive length of time explained by Adam.

He detailed the amount of vigorous exercise he had to do in order to just be under the weight limit. He still looked a little round to Jonathan, but he chose not to voice his thoughts the day they'd met. It wouldn't do good to make enemies on the first day.

Five years later, they were as close as they could be.

Jonathan still had a trust issue and kept him at arm's length in order to protect himself. He couldn't get too close to anybody because he had realised long ago that he was never the person somebody could count on.

He was the complete opposite; a flake, if you would.

Jonathan grown into a tall, lanky, coward and he was fully aware of it.

In those five years, he had never once flown home for Christmas – the only holiday soldiers and pilots of the Australian Army got without requesting leave.

There was never a request for leave from Jonathan.

He preferred to work even through his Christmases, and the Air Force loved him for it.

He was very hardworking and very determined to forget a life he wished he still lived. He was becoming stuck in a never-ending loop; the kind people grew stagnant in, but the kind Jonathan was relieved for.

The more he worked, the less time he had to think.

Thinking would do him no good and he was sure of it.

Adam had tried numerous times at the start to get him to open up about his home life, but Jonathan never relented. He had calculated in his head that the more he spoke about something, the less he could forget about it.

Adam had long ago decided to never push him because terrible things happened when you pushed Jonathan. He became harsh and cold, choosing to spit words of fire rather than forgive the intrusion.

Forgiveness was something Jonathan had forgotten how to do a long time ago.

His harsh life came to a screeching halt when, for the first time in five years, Jonathan Attwood got mail.

He had previously told his family not to ever send any letters to him and they knew not to. They kept their distance as much as he did. He'd made sure of it, and yet, somebody felt the need to write to him.

Anger spiked in his bones at the thought that maybe his ex-girlfriend had decided to continue harassing him. She'd never sent letters before, but she'd sent a lot of texts before he'd left the country. She hadn't let up for three weeks about his departure.

The girl had cursed him for leaving and he'd cursed her back for being a clingy, crazy person.

However, he had regret the words the moment they had left his lips.

However, an apology never came, for he hadn't been sorry at the time.

Five years later, and he'd decided she must've gotten the message that day and never spoke to him again.  She had left him alone and he had felt relief in ways he hadn't in a long time. His anger had deflated, and he'd almost felt bad about it.

Jonathan knew reaching out to her before he left the country, would be bad for the both of them so he chose not to. He'd kept his distance for years now, deciding it was best.

It had been for the best for everybody he had chosen to leave behind.

He had built walls around his heart and his life, to not only keep people out, but to keep himself from getting out. He felt he was a danger to the world at the time.

Jonathan was an unstable nineteen year old, angry at the world for the cards life had dealt him. He had taken it out on everybody around him, blaming them for everything as if they had the choice to fix his life and decided not to.

Nobody was really to blame for it, but he refused to see the truth at the time.

"Hey mate, you got a letter from someone," Adam commented, casually, as he held out the letter for Jonathan.

He was eating an apple with the other one and Jonathan tried not to remember the times he used to eat a green apple every day as if it was routine.

He hated that insignificant things could bring back such big, substantial memories that caused the twenty four year old anguish.

A lot of things these days reminded Jonathan of a life he had tried so hard to forget.

"From who?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

He tried not to wonder if his ex-girlfriend had somehow gotten his details of the base to send letters.

Having not even given his own mother the details, in fear she'd write despite his pleas not to.

'Surely she wasn't that crazy?'

His thoughts always seemed to have a way of betraying him in times like these.

"Some woman," the reply came back just as coolly, as if there wasn't a care in the world.

There never was for Adam Doberman.

He spoke of having such a perfect life.

The moment he'd lost all of his weight, his childhood crush had admitting to loving him all along and they got married shortly after and they now have two children.

Jonathan tried not to be bitter about it, despite thinking that she probably only said that stuff because he'd lost weight. He didn't have the heart to crush the redhead's heart, so he had simply chosen not to comment that day as well.

He kept a lot of bitter thoughts to himself every day.

Jonathan attempted not to get pissed off with the tiny details that Adam was supplying. Anger would do him no good today of all days.

They were supposed to be holding a celebration today for some award that Adam, of course, had won today.

A small portion of the blonde haired boy held pride for his friend, that could almost be considered a best mate on a good day.

Today wasn't a good day.

Jonathan snatched the letter out of Adam's hand with a huff of annoyance.

"Let me see that," he murmured to himself as he took a glance at it.

In small, neat handwriting that looked way too familiar to him, spelled 'Jonathan Attwood'. 

It definitely wasn't his ex-girlfriend because he could recognise her messy scrawl anywhere. It was always illegible, and he tried not to remember that fondly.

"Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend," came another comment from one of the boys.

Jonathan never bothered to learn his name. He was hardly on missions with the boys anyway. He was a star pilot, however, and Jonathan wished he didn't know that.

This guy made sure everybody knew that he was the best around since he made sure to brag about it at every turn.

"I don't," Jonathan gruffly replied, rolling his eyes.

He hadn't had time to ever find love again. He blamed it on the amount of work he had to do every day. He was far too busy for childish things such as 'relationships'.

He wasn't the marriage type either. He used to want it, just once, a long time ago but these days, he knew he was better off alone.

He decided that maybe he wasn't cut out for that white picket fence fantasy unlike Adam. He preferred to stay in reality, keeping his head out of the clouds.

It was much more practical.

'Wow, I think I've become a pessimist,' he thought to himself with slight amusement.

He shook his head out of thought as he turned the letter around, noticing there was a return address. It was from his home town.

In the neat handwriting it read: '26 Goldberg Lane, T, Melbourne, VIC.'

Jonathan wasn't aware he knew anyone that lived on that street but there was a first time for everything.

It was the complete other side of Melbourne from where he grew up, the one he wasn't too familiar with.

It was a big city after all.

He came from the wrong side of the tracks and this address, showed that they got to live in the rich area.

It made him bitter to think about it.

The name 'Rian Williams' sat below the address and Jonathan felt himself groan. He remembered her.

Rian was the richest kid growing up. Always got everything she had wanted.

Jonathan harbored deep hatred for peppy, bubbly people, like Rian Williams.

With another groan, he opened up the letter.

He didn't expect to find what he did. He expected anger, like the last thing Rian had directed at him when he'd left that day. He didn't expect Rian to beg for his help nor did he expect Rian to forgive him for what he'd done.

He didn't want to be forgiven; he wanted to be forgotten.

'Dear Jonathan Attwood,
I hope this letter finds you well.
I suppose, I should just get right to it, right?
I've never written to anybody before. It's very outdated. I thought the army would be much more productive than this, but I take it back. We are only just starting to enjoy phones, am I right?
Of course I am, I always am.
I never thought I'd write to you, out of everybody on this planet, but you're our last hope. I wish there was another way, but I don't think there ever will be.
So here goes: Edyth has been in a coma for the last five years now and the doctors keep begging to take her off life support.
I don't want to, neither do her parents. It doesn't feel right. She can't be gone, not really.
I refuse to accept that.
Edyth has been my best friend since I was four and I'm never going to let her go.
And I knew you'd feel the same, somewhere deep down, in that dark heart of yours.
As much of a jerk as you are and how much I hate you, I think you're the only one who can bring my best friend back to life.
Seeing as none of this would've happened if you hadn't left that day.
I knew you were quitter the moment I met you.
I don't even know why I'm writing to you. I don't expect that you'd give up your perfect life with the Air Force for some 'dumb' girl you said you never loved.
But I guess, I really am desperate.
She believed despite all, love could overcome everything – and I really hope she's right.
So for Edyth, I send you this letter.
Do us all a favour, do something out of character, and come save my best friend.
I'll owe you my entire life.
Rian Williams.'

Jonathan swallowed the bile that rose up in his throat.

Rian really hadn't changed throughout the years and he wasn't surprised. Just as rude and pushy as ever. He almost thought of that fondly but realised he definitely hated Rian more than she hated him.

He noticed that the date on the bottom of the letter was different to today's date: 07/11/99.

Timings with letters really were off.

It was no wonder the letter took two days to come.

His heart clenched painfully in his chest at today's date, the 9th.

It was the anniversary of the day he'd asked Edyth Swan to be his girlfriend, six years ago.

The only thing he didn't consider a mistake in his life.

And now she's dying.

--

Author's Note:

Please comment and tell me what you all think. It would be amazing to hear that after all this time, the story was worth posting!

Please vote, I would appreciate it.

Thank you all.

Until next time, my loves.

~ Elishia C. Xalfa ✨