Taylor

I reached up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. His lips remained still under mine as I kissed him gently before I pulled back and looked up at him. He was holding still, waiting to see what I was going to say. He looked scared and I saw a glimpse of the hurt child in the depths of his blue eyes.

"I love you," I whispered to him. Happiness shone in his eyes for a couple of seconds but vanished when I realized he was waiting for a 'but.'

"You don't think you're good enough for me," I said, watching his expression, which was veiled so that it was hard to see exactly what he was thinking.

"I know I'm not good enough for you," he stated, still not showing the emotion I knew he was feeling.

"Yes, my parents were murdered by two young guys that were high on drugs at the time. Did the drugs put the gun in their hands and pull the trigger? No. Not every person who gets high on drugs murders someone. It wasn't the drugs that ended my parents' lives."

I paused for a moment.

"You had a tough childhood and I can't imagine what it was like. It physically hurts to think of what you had to go through," I said and reached for his hand, taking it into mine. "I understand why you did the things you did and I would never judge you."

He swallowed as he held my gaze, still unsure.

"You are good enough for me," I whispered to him, letting him know that I wasn't going to be leaving.

I watched as my words sank in and the realization hit him. In an instant his arms wrapped around me and hugged me tight. I smiled as my head rested against his chest and I allowed myself to feel the happiness that we both deserved.

I tried to pull away, but his arms tightened around me.

"Give me a minute," he breathed into my hair.

Closing my eyes, I savored the feel of him holding onto me so tightly, scared to let go. A few minutes later he pulled away and looked down at me.

"I was so scared I was going to lose you," he said, his voice hoarse with the emotion.

"I'm not going anywhere," I stated, making sure he knew that I was here to stay.

He bent down to kiss me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. I felt like I was alive again in his arms, being so thoroughly kissed that it left my knees a little weak and my heart hammering in my chest.

Breathlessly, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine.

"I've never done this before," he said softly.

"What exactly are we doing?" I asked, needing to know what this meant to him. I needed to know that we were on the same page.

"This is going to be more than one night," he explained as his mouth tugged into a playful smile. "No hooking up with other people."

My smile faltered slightly at the fear that, despite how much I loved him and how much he cared about me, we were going to go back to our original arrangement. I wanted more than that.

"We get titles as well," he teased.

"Titles?" I asked, not sure what that meant.

"Yeah," he said as his smile widened. "Girlfriend."

He kissed me on the lips and I felt relief at his words.

"Does that mean I get to call you my boyfriend?" I asked as I broke the kiss and looked up at him.

He nodded his head at me.

"I never thought I'd ever want more, but I do with you."

"It scares me," I admitted. I loved him so much and I couldn't help but feel nervous about starting something more with him.

He'd never dated a girl before. I believed it was why he went through girls like he had, because he struggled to form emotional attachments with them. He'd never done more than one-night stands and I wasn't sure if he would be able to do the whole monogamy thing with me. I was scared to love someone who had no idea how to love me back.

"Don't be scared," he soothed. "The way I feel about you is nothing like I've ever felt before."

As nervous as I was, I felt my heart inflate at his beautiful words.

"When I heard that you'd been taken, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest," he admitted and I felt the pain in his words. "I've never been so scared in my life."

That really meant something to me. He hadn't had an easy road and I'm sure he had plenty of really scary moments in his life, but the thought of losing me had been his worst.

"I never want to feel that again," he added as he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I felt so guilty that I'd left you and then you went missing."

"There was nothing you could've done to stop Eric."

I knew telling him that wouldn't erase the guilt he felt, but I still needed him to know.

"Maybe...maybe not."

He wasn't convinced by my words.

At that moment I felt so much happiness. He'd hurt me more than once, but I was willing to put my heart on the line for him again because I knew it would be so worth it if everything worked out.

"I won't lie—I have no idea how to do this, but I promise to try to do everything I can to make you happy," he promised me as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close.

"When I first saw you, I never imagined we would end up where we are now," I said, looking back at our journey to get to where we were.

He pulled away and looked at me.

"From the first time I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," he revealed as he held my face on either side.

"Really?" I asked. I thought he hadn't even really known I'd existed at that point.

"Yes," he assured me. "And then you came to see me, wanting me to 'take advantage' of you."

He smirked at me and I blushed. I still couldn't believe I'd had the courage to do what I'd done.

"But why did you turn me down?" I asked, still feeling the sting of his initial rejection.

"You were so innocent," he explained as he trailed his knuckles down my face. "And I wasn't. You deserved so much better than me."

I shook my head at him.

"I'm so glad you were my first," I said to him.

"I tried to do the right thing—I really did—but I couldn't stop thinking about you," he revealed. "And then I saw you drinking with Slater and I couldn't handle seeing you with someone else."

"You were jealous?" He smiled and nodded his head.

"I think I was and then I knew that, even though you deserved better, I couldn't let you go," he said softly. "I couldn't stand the thought of you being with someone else. I knew I would have to step up and give you what you wanted or I would lose you."

I was so happy listening to him talk about how much I'd affected him when I'd thought we were nothing more than a one-night stand. Listening to him reveal his feelings made me understand some of his actions.

"And then after our night together?" I prompted.

"One night with you was never going to be enough," he stated. "I was always going to want more."

"But I saw you with Slater and that girl," I reminded him as I remembered feeling so hurt. My brain knew the decision I'd made was for one night, but my heart had hurt anyway.

"I didn't like the way you made me feel. I felt vulnerable and I hated feeling like that. I tried to move on, I really did, but there was no getting over you."

"Did you sleep with that girl?" I blurted the question out before I could stop myself. I knew if he said yes that it would hurt.

"No, I couldn't do it."

I felt so relieved that I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"I haven't slept with anyone else since our first night together," he admitted softly. My eyes widened in shock.

"Really?" I asked, feeling a little stunned at the unexpected revelation.

"Yes."

I was speechless.

"When I saw you with Caleb, I was so angry," he said. I felt a little guilty for making him feel that way, but I had no way of knowing at the time how he felt about me.

"And you thought I needed a rich, preppy boy?" I asked, remembering what he'd said to me.

"I tried to convince myself that was the reason why you were with him. It would've hurt more to know that you were with him because you liked him," he admitted.

"I was trying to fill the hole that you left in my heart and I shouldn't have used someone else to do that."

Hindsight was always so clear. We'd both done so many things wrong and the chances were good that we weren't done making mistakes.

"There were more than a few times after you went missing that I thought I would never be able to hold you again," he said. In that moment, in the depths of his eyes, I saw the fear that he'd felt.

"You don't have to think about that anymore," I reassured him, taking his hands into mine. "I'm okay now."

"Everyone was getting more and more scared that you weren't coming back, but it wasn't something I could accept," he explained. I remained silent. He clearly needed to tell me.

"I called Jeff as soon as I found out you were missing. I told him to find you."

There was a solemn silence that settled between us at the reminder of what I'd been through. I looked at him as he watched me for a reaction.

"I was so scared when he found me in the street," I said, trying to block the fear that encompassed that moment.

"If the cops hadn't gotten to Eric first, I'm not sure I could've let him live for what he did to you," he said in such a deadly tone that I knew without a doubt he meant every word.

"Then I'm glad the cops got him first," I replied.

He studied me for a moment.