Taylor

That night I tossed and turned. Finally, when I heard the birds chirping outside my window, I decided there was no point in trying to sleep anymore so I got up to make some coffee. I would need a lot of caffeine to keep myself awake.

I rubbed my eyes as I wandered into the kitchen. Once I had a steaming cup of coffee in my hands, I sat down on the sofa. It was quiet and easy to get lost in my thoughts of Sin. It was strange that when a person was happy, everything seemed brighter, and now that my heart was broken, everything had lost that extra color. Everything seemed darker and sadder. In the back of my mind, I had the constant worry that I would slip back into my old habit of blocking everything out. I didn't want to go back to that dark place that my parents' murder has sent me to.

I took a sip of the coffee and savored the taste. It would be so easy to hold on to the hurt and let it control me, but I wasn't a nine-year-old girl anymore. I was older and I believed I was stronger. I was up for an hour before I heard someone's bedroom door open. Jordan was the first one up.

"Good morning," she mumbled as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," I replied, following her into the kitchen.

She made herself some coffee and then turned to face me as she took a couple of tentative sips.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, taking in her still slightly puffy eyes.

"I'll be okay," she said as she gave me a weak smile. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing something."

I knew the feeling. It meant that she didn't just care for Slater, there was a good chance that she'd fallen in love with him.

"No more tears," she said with a determination I hadn't seen in her since Slater had broken her heart. "I'm done moping in heartbreak land."

"Good," I said, nodding my head, hoping that the determination would be enough to pull her out of the heartbreak she'd been moping around in.

"How are things going with you and Sin?" She asked like she genuinely wanted to know.

I hesitated for a moment.

"We're over," I admitted, feeling my eyes sting with tears.

"What exactly does that mean?" she asked, her forehead creasing with confusion.

"When Connor first met Sin, he got a background check done on him," I began to tell her.

"Really?" she gasped.

"Yes," I answered. "You have met my overprotective brother."

"Overprotective is one thing, but getting a background check on someone is something else," she said as she set her coffee down on the counter.

I shrugged. I'd gotten so used to it and until Sin, I'd allowed my brother to be overprotective, but I put my foot down. I still hadn't spoken to him since my first fight with Sin. He'd kept phoning to talk to me, but I wasn't ready to forgive him; and now that his actions had caused another fight, it was even harder for me to want to forgive him. But it had been my own fault as well. I could have thrown the folder away, but I hadn't.

"I kept the folder, but I never read it," I explained. "To me it didn't matter what he'd done in his past; what mattered to me was the person he was now."

"What happened?" she asked.

"He found the folder," I admitted as I tried to keep my emotions from bubbling over into the surface.

"And he didn't take it well," she stated. It wasn't a question. "Sin and Slater grew up together and they are both very reluctant to talk about their pasts."

"I know." I nodded.

"Besides, you have to admit finding a background check on yourself isn't going to go down well for anyone."

She was right. He had a right to be upset.

"Give him a few days to deal with it and he will come around," she suggested.

"You think so?" I asked, feeling hopeful that he just needed some time to work through his anger.

"Yes, I do," she assured me. "I see the way he looks at you. He cares."

Taking my friend's advice, I decided to leave Sin alone for the next few days. It still didn't stop me from checking my phone constantly, hoping that he would call or text me. Not surprisingly, I never heard from him or saw him at school. I wanted to give him the space he needed, but as each day passed without a word from him, it made me fear that he wasn't going to be able to forgive me. Jordan stopped moping around and got back to her usual self. Every now and then I would still see the sadness in her eyes, but most of the time she kept it well hidden.

Finally, after nearly a week, I decided I'd waited long enough, so I tried to call him, but he never answered. Then I messaged him, but he never responded. I decided it was time to go around to his house to speak to him. My mind had gone crazy with reasons why he hadn't called or messaged me. The more time that passed without contact made me think that he may have already moved on with another girl and that was going to be hard to deal with.

I was nervous as I stood outside his front door.

Please don't let him be with another girl, I prayed silently before I stepped forward and rang the doorbell before I could decide I'd rather not know why he hadn't phoned. Slater answered the door.

"Hi," he greeted with a friendly smile.

"Hi," I greeted him back, trying to hide my nervousness.

"He isn't here," he informed me and I felt my heart sink a little. I'd really hoped that by having the courage to see him in person, it would heal the rift between us.

"Do you know when he will be back?" I asked, hoping that I would be able to come to talk to him.

Slater studied me for a moment and then let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm not sure," he informed me. "He packed a bag and left. He didn't say why he was leaving or when he would be back."

He'd left. It felt like the earth had shifted under my feet.

"Where did he go?" I asked hoarsely as my emotions began to react to the news that he'd actually left me.

It hadn't been like we were dating, but it still felt like he'd left me. I didn't think it would feel worse than when he wouldn't answer my calls or message me back but it was crushing.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," he admitted. "I haven't heard from him, but I'm sure he will be in contact soon."

"When did he leave?" I asked, not sure why I needed to know that.

"A few days ago," he said.

I'd been oblivious and still hoped that we would be able to sort things out, but I'd been so wrong. Feeling the sting of tears, I wanted to get out of there before I started bawling in front of Slater.

"Thanks," I mumbled hoarsely as I turned to leave.

"I'm sorry," Slater said, taking a step through the doorway and I turned to look at him. "I'm sorry he hurt you."

I shrugged, not wanting him to know how badly I'd been hurt.

"I'll be okay," I said, not believing one word I'd just said.

I knew I was never going to be okay. I managed to leave before my tears broke free and tumbled down my face. Matthew got out of the car and hugged me as I cried.