A/N: NOT EDITED.

IMPORTANT: If you're a young writer and someone tells you, "them stories that begin with "Hi my name is (name) and I'm a brunette girl" blah blah blah like no delete your story and your account"

PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM! You have to start somewhere and if that is how you can, then do it. Eventually, you'll get constructive criticism, you'll see your own mistakes and you'll correct them. But until then, continue writing! No one is perfect. I mean if writing makes you happy, then don't let someone tell you that you need to quit before you really even get started.

Chapter 9 – White Powder (Faith POV)

My stomach was spinning uncontrollably, my hands shaking, dressed and ready, all my make up assignments in my bag, my Shake To Go was in my bag, I had already drunk one Vanilla so that would tide me over until Lunch I thought hopefully. We needed to leave around seven fifteen, so when seven rolled around, I limped my way downstairs, dressed. Ready to go even though every muscle in my body seemed to hurt and ache as I went down.

Entering the kitchen the group of kids all looked up, and I noted that Talia was still in her sleep clothes. Under her eyes, dark, blackened from the stress of the burn, lack of sleep, pain or maybe all of those like me. "You're going to school?" she asked surprised.

Kalenah shook her head while I just nodded, "You can't go to school Faith, I mean you'll fall asleep during classes, those pain meds are strong, the germs, you need at least another week before you can attempt to go back to school." I frowned, they were already keeping me home, away from people... the hand holding the crutches, flexed, tightened and I cursed my injured foot because the panic that was threatening to weigh down on me, make me run, yet I would never get far.

"It'll be fun we can do assignments together, work on music, and study together if you-"

"Sleep?" Kalenah offered with a smirk.

"You two beauties look like raccoons," she said with a smile and the others laughed. Standing from the seat at the top of the table, opposite from Ansel, Samson, stood and went into the pantry bringing back a chair, "You can sit," he pointed going back to his meal. Glancing around the room, Brennan, Harleigh and Thaddeus all looked at him with large eyes, before returning to their meals.

When I sat stiffly, moving my backpack to the ground I waited, I mean it was all a trap, so there had to be something that had to happen. "Did you think of the idea I told you?" Samson asked his mouth full of food. Before I could keep my face straight, it was wrinkled up in distaste.

"Sorry," he swallowed, "I just needed to put something down for what we've worked on, and it doesn't have to be much," sighing I bent over and picked out the folder I had placed all my make up assignments in and found the one he was speaking of.

Handing it over, I shut the folder, "You finished all the work from this class?" he asked in a breathless tone. Nodding quickly I looked away while he inspected my ideas. "I don't see my idea... is it safe to say you didn't like it?" he said standing and coming back with pen and paper, placing them in the empty front of me.

Yes, it's safe to say since you said it. It wasn't a good idea. I pushed the pad towards him. Waiting for the narrowed eyes and angry lashing that would come but he only choked on his drink and coughed up a storm while we all watched. "You should eat slowly Sammie," Samantha noted before going back to her plate while Simon, patted Samson's back.

When a throat cleared, I was startled, looking at Kalenah, "did you finish all the assignments?" a bit of shock and disbelief laced her words.

I pulled the pad I had written on back to me, nothing else to do on Saturday and Sunday. With her opposite Samson, I just pushed it in her direction this time. "Well I have to drop off the little kids, so I'll drop off your work, and let your teachers know you've caught up and to give you the work for this whole week as well..." she said but not to me. Her head was bent down and it sounded more like she was just thinking out loud more than expecting an answer.

Defeated and getting sleepier by the moment, which I guess only proved her point, Kalenah started kicking the older kids out, sent Talia to bed, and told Simon, Amy and Savannah to go wait in the car.

"Did you sleep at all?" she asked when the room was empty, her eyes sad once again. "I mean... you completed one week's worth of homework in two days? Did you sleep at all? You're supposed to rest, sleeping right now will make your recovery much easier..." looking straight at her, with wide eyes I wasn't sure what to say so I remained silent until Kalenah shook her head.

"Try to take a nap... maybe you'll sleep... or put a movie on in your room, who knows, you may fall asleep to that..." I nodded.

As she moved to put a jacket on, her body stopped and she turned to face me looking oddly apologetic, "We haven't installed cable in your room just yet, so you'll have to make do with the regular channels...  we do have movies in the library if you want to take a look, though..." she offered before leaving.

In the hospital, the channels had cable, so I hadn't gotten my question answered when it had popped into my mind then. When I was in the safe house, the television we had only played movies. When it was on, no matter what channel I placed it on, it always ever only played a grainy black, white, gray screen, that made my eyes hurt after staring for some time. Dmitri had said that the Regime had taken down towers that made it impossible to make televisions works, and I had believed him. Yet now... with what Kalenah was saying I could watch television without having cable like the hospital... without it being a movie, which brought a new question. Dmitri had lied about the towers being down, about televisions only being good for videos... how did he make the television not work all the other times?

I hobble back up the stairs, stopping the library for a movie, though I'm sure I won't watch it but, since only Talia and I were in the house, I took the time to explore a room. When I had a movie chosen, I went back to my room, locking the door behind me, I turned the television on, and unlike back in the safe house, though it was still grainy, I saw color, people were talking, it was the local morning report. Light rain, drizzle over the Bend area, but around noon, and expect sunny skies.

I didn't keep a diary, but I had a mental log, of things that didn't make sense, things Dmitri said that I knew weren't true, body suits, masks, fighting and scourging for food and supplies, telephones, music, schools not existing, books being burned, only old records existing and riots.

Different little things, just adding up, pushing me each time, hurting me bit by bit.

Now the next thing on that list – that ever-growing list – was the television. Putting in the movie 'Princess Diaries,' my eyes heavy, I only made it forty minutes in.

I missed Andy; he smelled so good, clean. It was the white powder on his chest. But he was gone now. It had been a long time.

Days and days.

I had to run, I couldn't stay here, it didn't matter that I would die if I went outside, I had to escape, I couldn't stay. Even though she had left and taken Andy, I couldn't stay. Rolling myself into a small ball, I crawled out of a hole, the hole she took Andy from. I had tried to go too but she pushed me back, leaving me behind.

Someone is knocking, I have to escape - on shaky weak legs - I know I need to escape.

My heart racing, my eyes fly open, as I am startled, blinking, no longer in the concrete basement, the boy with tan skin, and my green eyes, gone. The woman – with cold eyes – gone as well, and on the bed, wrapped in blankets I shiver from the look in her eyes that I dreamt of.

The two people, the whole dream, unknown to me, not making sense. I touch my face and it's wet, my clothes damp around my neck, the knocking that woke me, continues, "Faith, we have to go see Sonya," Kalenah chimes on the other side, "Are you awake?" reaching over to the cell phone in my side table, the movie waiting to be played again, a soft melody in the otherwise silent room.

I'm up. I text her and my phone chimes and Kalenah returns with a smiley face, followed by actual text, Well it's 3:45 now you're appointment is at 4:25.

I don't want to leave my bed, pushing that dream away to the side as I change into large clothes, warm sweats and a sweater maybe three sizes larger than what would fit me so as not to stick on my arm. But as I dress, the scent that I placed on Simon, in my dream, in a place I couldn't remember, with two people, a young boy, maybe two years old, and a woman with cold eyes, the white powder was on the boy I called Andy in my dream.

I exhale shakily, and the images of the two people, the room I couldn't place, with the white powder made my heart race, palms sweat and throat close up more than normal. 

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© 2016 roxann_season All Rights Reserved

Q & A's:

This book is incredible! One of my favorites I've read on Wattpad so far, and that's saying something. I'm addicted to reading... :) Thanks! It's a bit confusing in the beginning because of how Faith explains but by now, I think we all get what's happened, even though we don't exactly know what's happened.

Loving the story, I am really trying to figure out what's going on and why Dimitri held her and told her the things he did. Intriguing story! I know everyone is wondering about Dmitri but so is Faith... it's slow but she has that list and it's not like she's keeping him up on a pedestal without looking or admitting his lies. She's doing that... but it's slow.

I think she is remembering her life before when she smells that scent on him. He really conditioned her to not trust anything or anyone but him. Yes! That's really how it seems doesn't it? That Dmitri conditioned her? But that smell... it's like that one string on a top that when you pull it, it just gets longer and longer until the whole thing has unraveled.

She is really still so confused by the thing Dimitri made her expect to go on in the real world but doesn't. Exactly. She expected to have to work for food, or be scourging for things like she believed Dmitri had too but then, it's like she comes out and NOTHING is how she says he explained it to her. So she has herself in three places.

1. the safe house.

2. the world Dmitri described.

3. the real world.

Yayyyy!!!!! I love that you update a lot:)) So... hmm... I update OFTEN... like pretty much anyone reading my stuff knows that in one week unless I'm sick or busy with school, I'm updating at least four to five times a week.

Ugh, you are really good, I get so frustrated that she is not able to accept that Dmitri lied to her and start to trust even though I know it is a fiction (no matter how realistic it is) and I should take it easy. If this is what you intended to transmit, mission accomplished lol. I admire that you have such patience with your characters to develop them slowly if needed, and you are aware that the change will not come overnight (like with Kieran). The scent thing is really clever. Yep... I'm aiming to frustrate you all lol. Just kidding. I know readers want her to just REALIZE that hello he lied to you! He tricked you! He wasn't the good guy! But someone commented and explained it so well.

"Stockholm syndrome. No, she isn't daydreaming nor is she in a coma. She has lived her life ONE way, with ONE person and told a bunch of lies. It would be like you waking up one day and someone telling you that the sky is green - not blue. It's always been green and the person that told you it was blue, lied to you about everything that you learned."

I feel so sorry for this poor confused child and I don't think the parents realize how caught up she is in the lies Dimitri told. You are correct. The kids don't know the details, but Ansel & Kalenah know that she lived inside all her life. They know she's struggling but the level of distrust that Faith has, the pull and memories of what Dmitri has told her are really making her life harder than it should be.

This may confuse you to say this but this is both amazing and horrible. it's amazing how incredible all of your books are and horrible because I get so caught up in the story I forget not only to vote but everything else around me. One another note. Though Faith is conditioned to believe what Demetri has told her. I can't blame her for being the way she is. my biggest question is why. I know some how or another she's a supernatural being I want to say wolf, but could be so wrong. I'm not going to ask for updates because I know you are working on book 4, and Scratch as well as this. Just keep up the incredible work. I completely get what you're saying, it's good but then again, you're cringing as you read because it just gives you the feels. On your last comment, I am working on Book 4 and Scratch, but I'm going to keep posting here regularly, as well as Book 4. With Scratch, there are only maybe 10 chapters left in there.

I just don't understand this story. Okay... so... if you feel this way I'm sure others do as well. Faith was locked away in a house, believing all these lies that Dmitri told her. He dies, and calls one person he trusts - Walsh.

Patricia and Walsh go get Faith but it's after two months from when he got the call from Dmitri. You don't know why or how she ended up with Dmitri, only what she remembers him telling her. They work so Dmitri knowing what she was good at said that they should enroll her at the school she was in, since Walsh and Patricia work.

Faith was living in the dorms, Talia and the rest were her roommates. There was a fire. She saves Talia and the family invites her to live with them. There is a lot you don't know... and I'm sure it's confusing you but again, it's a back forth with Faith because like someone said, she thought life was one way for a long time and then she woke up, and NOTHING is how she thought. There is no war. There is no Regime, Independents or Loyalists. She was conditioned. Now she's free but not really because she's traumatized.

She has moments where she's trusting but then, she'll remember her conditioning and even though she's lived a happy life she's learned that it was all a lie.

that's all folks,

Roxann :)