A/n: reposted. Many said the chapters are choppy and missing pieces so I just reuploaded it. I'm not writing that way. If this reload doesn't fix the mistakes maybe try deleting and then redownloading wattpad or refreshing it somehow... 

Chapter 35 – Happy to See Me (Brennan POV) Pt. 1

"The reason that families trust me Brennan, trust your mother, is because we put our family at risk by helping theirs. But these last deaths of werecats that have gone missing in the middle of being aided by us – their families are under the impression that it happened not because of something we did. Not once has anyone that we've helped come and say that they're sister isn't alive or with them because mom and I placed them in danger."

"They had no reason to believe that because we successfully helped them," dad explained while Aunt Angela sat resetting his network.

Halfway through the movie The Perfect Score, I stand and offer to get Talia and I snacks. Easily avoiding everyone I get to our kitchen where I of course run right into Devin.

Unmoved for a moment I can only gaze into her eyes.

Why did she keep re-entering the network? I ask now that I know the full truth. I had helped her Devin wasn't the only one in the wrong. However, once she was able to successfully gain entrance, she was supposed to remove her backdoor access.

It was just for practice, I told myself at the time. Never once did I fathom that we were placing anyone in danger, much less people I didn't know. I knew them now though.

Dad had practically made me memorize the names, showed me the pictures. Placed on my shoulders the burden that he's worn for the last nine months.

"Hi," Devin whispers after what feels like forever. Unsure of herself and shy-like, she even waves at me awkwardly before dropping her hand. "Uhm," she licks her lips and I follow the movement, while mostly just staring at her.

It's not all her fault, I repeat silently. I'm more than half to blame, I add.

We had no business doing what we did.

I accepted that mindset easily.

"You knew what you were doing was wrong Bren," my aunt Angela told me, "It wouldn't be eating you up this badly if you thought you were in the right. You also wouldn't have come to your father about what else you've learned," she further explained.

"Some people aren't good for you-"

"Devin isn't a bad person-"

"No, she just lied to you and was – is – planning on hurting someone that your parents and siblings all care about. She hacked into a private conversation you were having with your brother for her sister and on top of everything else... Brennan she's let you carry the blame for what she's done. Those are not good qualities – and those are not the actions of someone who loves and cares for you," Angela rationalized, not lecturing me, but just showing me another opinion with much more objective.

"Who knows Bren, maybe Devin is bad for you now but with time apart, you'll grow to be stronger people independently. After then, maybe-"

"You're – you've kind of been ignoring me," Devin murmurs, eyes on me intently. I open my mouth, but she isn't finished, "Is – what's wrong?" I shake my head.

"No, no, something is wrong... this – this break," she waves a finger between us, "It doesn't feel like just a break."

My mouth goes dry; my heart stops and flips quickly without my accord and everything about what is thought, felt, everything, now, pains me inside.

"Tell me what to do Brennan, and I'll do it," it's the tone of her voice that nearly does me in. That pain, the longing to make things right. But then I'm reminded that I had already told Devin what could make it right.

We had already discussed her hacking into my family's network.

I had told her to stop.

She had agreed that she would not do it anymore.

Yet, she listened in when I was speaking to Samson.

Worse? After I called her, Devin pretended to be completely in the dark about anything, everything that was said. She let me unload on her, asking me what else was said, manipulatively.

So swallowing not just the pain inside me, I shrug. "I'm just doing what's right for me, and you should do the same," I answer monotone. Adding more pain to her eyes, but I feel it too.

Nodding slowly, scanning me over, a bit of hopefulness still remains in her eyes. A small part that hopes that maybe, just maybe this is all some misunderstanding. That I was just going to get over being angry.

Ignore that she didn't hack into Samson's computer feed and listen to us speaking.

Or maybe it's the part of her that hopes that maybe if she comes clean that she'll the trust my family has in her but she'll have me.

Maybe it's Devin weighing her options.

Various reasons for that hopefulness linger in my mind, though each one is shut down.

Each one especially her coming clean brings me pain. Admitting to Samson that I hadn't spilled what he revealed to me doesn't do anything but make me wince inside.

The moment for Devin to come clean has come and gone.

I thought we were on the same word, of the same page in the, same book. Wrong as I was, I loved her.

"I – uhm – so this is still just a break? We aren't completely over–over? Right?"

Say 'right' Brennan, her eyes plead with me but I've forgotten how to speak. Hell, almost how to breath right.

When the appropriate amount of time has passed and I haven't spoken, uttered a single word, Devin nods slowly, her eyes welling. Within a blink of an eye the spot she was standing in is empty and I'm alone in the room again, reminding myself that I had to exhale.

The air doesn't whoosh right out of me, instead its shuddered – short and choppy.

Hurrying in a zombielike state I walk around getting drinks and making popcorn for Talia and I. Grabbing some chocolate that was in the fridge that Samson and Faith had purchased, I head back to my room.

Carrying everything back, I slip in but find Talia on my bed with my notebook open on her lap, staring up at me confused. "Transfer information to..." she looks down and reads what I already know is written.

"University of Massachusetts."

"Northeastern University."

"Tufts University."

"Boston University."

"Williams College."

"South Carolina State University."

"University of South Carolina."

"Clemson University."

"What.. is going on Bren?" her tone thick with confusion, "Why would you need transfer information to these schools? What happened to USC, Stanford or Yale?" closing the door behind me.

Everything was unraveling.

No that was an over exaggeration, of course Talia would have questions. For the last two or three years my plans with Devin had only been more defined as time went by. While everyone was settled on East Coast schools, Devin and I had been more focused on USC, Cal Tech, even Stanford for her.

"Is this – how serious is this breakup?" she asked concerned now and unlike me, Talia was genuine. Her fretfulness only made me feel scummy though. There were no ulterior motives here, we've spoken endlessly and I've never once heard words expressed to her coming from Javier's mouth.

Narrowing her eyes at me, Talia frowns as she briefly glances at the notebook, "Why would you need to be looking into schools as a transfer student?"

Honestly this was easier to answer.

Until I realize it isn't.

"Dad gave me the option of going to stay with grandpa or enrolling at Oregon State, here in Bend."

Talia works through my statement ever slowly, "You – so – what?"

"What's going on Bren?"

Going to one of the crates in front of her, my back facing the television, I know this is one of the moments I would endure.

"I know you and Javier like to stay out of family problems, but I need my sister here-" I stop abruptly. I couldn't drag Talia into this mess.

"One has nothing to do with the other-"

I shake my head, "No, that's just it Talia, it is going too. I – if I had to tell anyone the truth right now, it would be you, but," my head still moving from side to side, I'm drowning.

"You cannot tell Javier this and in the end, I think if he knows you knew what I'm about to tell you that he'd probably never forgive you-"

She nods processing, "Okay so, you want to tell me, but once I'm in the know, I cannot pull Javier into it because?"

"Because I've done enough to make the situation as horrendous as possible but it's not going to be about us. It's bigger than just you telling Javier-"

"So it has to do with his sister? With both of them?" I nod. "I don't think even you and Javier could survive what is going to happen if you're in the know Talia..." I inform her unfortunately.

"And this thing you think we cannot survive it's why you broke up with Devin?"

I nod as confirmation.

"I love Javier but if this is bigger than our relationship, tell me Brennan. When the truth comes out, I'll tell Javier I knew. I won't hide that from him and if we can survive that, then we do. If not-" I shake my head.

There was no reason for Talia to lose Javier here. Although, once the truth came out, I gather Javier would be the one in a tough spot.

His family or my sister.

"Don't do that, don't make decisions for me," Talia says sharply sounding every bit like our mother.

Before I begin, I think over my relationship with Talia. There was going to be a fall out.

"You're going to hate me," I mumble lamely.

"Never," she swears but I know better. "About a year ago, Devin was getting serious into hacking so I helped her hack into our home server," I go with ripping the Band-Aid off quickly method.

Identical bluish gray eyes widen as they gaze into mine.

"In the process of that... or after that, she started hacking everyone's computer here, trying to see if she could get around passwords and firewalls, everything," I whisper watching as the color from Talia's face drains slowly.

Exhaling heavily, she blinks twice, "You helped Devin hack our personal computer?" Though Talia had a calm demeanor like our mother, in her anger, she had that eerily, scary composed attitude like our father.

I nod slowly.

"Why?"

"She – I just thought maybe it would be safer than somewhere-"

"Safer? She shouldn't have been doing it in the first place Bren! How could you help her hack into our computers? Why not just use yours? If this was all for shits and giggles, why not use just yours?"

Ashamed I just sit still with no response.

"So that's why you broke up with her?"

I shake my head in denying her assumption.

"After Devin got in, it was only supposed to be a two month thing, but she's still doing it." Her eyes fly to the corner where my computer once sat and then back to me.

"Devin was pressuring me to talk to Samson for her so I did, but I didn't know that she was listening in on the conversation. The minute she blurted out what she did in front of me, and what she told Samson, I knew she had listened in again-"

"Without your permission? Like she did endless times with our personal computers?" Talia asks monotone. It's a rhetorical question.

"So you knew it was wrong what she was doing, but you helped her? But when she does it to you, that is when you think of personal-"

"It's not just that," I interrupt, "you know how dad has lost those couple of werecats recently?"

Where her face was once pale, it blooms with color now.

"It turns out that someone used the same backdoor entrance that Devin put in place to gather information."

Eyes wide, she seems dazed for a minute, "He hasn't lost them Brennan," Talia says when she's no longer dazed. "A few of them were murdered."

Holding everything in, I nod slowly, my actions filled with shame and loathing.

"We didn't mean for anyone to get hurt," I say uselessly.

"Yes you did," my twin says in disbelief. "Do you hear yourself? Brennan she hacked without you knowing and you get angry... so you knew it would hurt us but you helped her and now... it turns out you didn't just hurt the family, but strangers that reached out to mom and dad for what? To please Devin? Why couldn't you say no?"

"Do you know the number of bad ideas that Javier has had that I've said no to?" She doesn't quite raise her voice, but the words bite as she spits them at me.

Shaking her head in outrage or maybe disbelief, Talia pushes herself up from my bed, until she's on her crutches. Narrowing her gaze at me, she scoffs, "Don't worry I'll keep your secret. There's no way I would make this easier on you by telling anyone else what you've done."

Hanging my head, I don't stop her from leaving or even bother to gain immediate forgiveness.

Talia hobbles over to my door, but stops before opening it, "I don't hate you either Brennan, I just don't trust or like you very much right now," she whispers brokenly, which is ten times worse than if she would have just yelled at me.

.

.

.

___________

© 2016 roxann_season All Rights Reserved