Chapter 34 - Talk Down (Samson Conrad POV) Pt.2
Chapter 34 - Talk Down (Samson Conrad POV) Pt. 2
My stomach is in knots when my parents go down the stairs, but I slowly turn to face Fatima, unsure what I will see in her eyes. "You want to sleep here tonight?" she asks in a small voice and just gazing at her, I'm in a state of shock that she isn't trying to push me away after all the cruel things Taylor said to her.
I nod when her expression turns unsure, not needing to make her think there is anywhere I would rather be at this point. "I'm sorry about - all of what she said isn't true-"
"I know - it's because of your symmetrical face, she finds you attractive," I have to snort at her direct honesty, but nonetheless I close the door behind me, locking it as she normally would, and I go to the side of the bed I was sitting on before. My mind full of incomplete thoughts just swarmed together, all rushing and pushing to get to the front, to take up my full attention.
Once again in an awkward - unsure - position, it's Fatima that speaks first, "What did you mean when you said that it was all your fault... I mean... with Silas... I thought you told me you stayed home?" I close my eyes and feel her place one hand on my thigh, and I'm quick to unfold my arms across my chest and take that hand in mine.
"I feel responsible," I start off despite the churning in my belly. "He was the outgoing one, I'm was the rational one. If I'd gone, I could have stopped them from sneaking around. I'm not sure why they really didn't just stick to helicopter flying, I'm sure Brian probably tried to talk Silas out of-" I pause unable to say it, "but it was drizzling that they thought it would be a good idea, to go up in Silas plane." I shudder when the words are finally out.
"Your brother had a plane?"
I shake my head. "No it was a four-seat small aircraft, we'd been training to use it since we were like ten - illegally of course - but we always would go up with our dad or grandfather, but Silas and Brian were found in ours near - do you remember where we went hiking?" Faith gaped at me but gave me a small nod.
"Around there, both were dead-"
"So your brother took the plane out during inclement weather?" I nod.
"I - don't get mad ok?" my brows scrunch together, "Why would I get mad?"
She shrugs her shoulder, "Because sometimes people hate the truth, but I guess... you said yourself Silas took the plane out when he shouldn't have. I don't know all the details but... I'm sure that it's not allowed the way he did it... since you said sneaking around. He was aware that it was bad, and he shouldn't do it, and Brian... I guess it's sad that they both died, but you can't think it's your fault... I mean Silas knew right from wrong and was competent... right?" her little nose it wrinkled up, and her brows are pushed together in confusion.
"Yes but he always had these-"
"And this Brian - he was intelligent, he knew right from wrong? I mean if they didn't know it was a bad thing why did he and Silas sneak around? They knew it was dangerous and erroneous... I mean you can't - Silas didn't call you did he?" I shake my head slowly from side to side, the tea I drank wanting - ready - to make another appearance. "So he knew that you would convince him not to do the wrong thing, and avoided calling you, went out of his way to not be stopped," she isn't asking me.
"I could've stopped him," I whimper out, but she just shakes her head, "He didn't want you to prevent him, for as well as you knew him, he chooses not to invite you to steal the plane," I can't reply. My mind goes blank of all the other chaos, and the words are playing on loop.
"I don't know how you feel exactly, but I felt guilty for nearly a month when Dmitri didn't come back... it was like in the pit of my stomach I knew that it was my fault. Because Dmitri had left for food, I mean there was enough, but not enough for two people. He was always taking care of me, I thought the world.... I figured it was a dangerous place that he had to fight and steal for the food he was bringing me, and when he didn't come back after a month, I was - I knew - was convinced that he was injured because of me..."
"So I get feeling guilty, but now I know that he wasn't fighting or sneaking, stealing food. Dmitri was buying it, he - I don't even know why he - I just - he didn't have to die, but sometimes I wake up, and I think for just a brief period that he perished in the process of getting me food. Even though I know, that isn't true... I wake up and for a minute it's what I think - then I get my bearings, and I get logical and face the facts, it's not my fault," her bottom lip shook, and drawing from the similarities of our lives, I see more.
I nod and lay down, every morning I woke up and thought of how I could have saved the person staring back at me except now, Fatima says that Silas didn't want me to rescue him. That he didn't call me because he didn't even want me to talk him and Brian out of taking the plane out. I close my eyes as they burn, trying to control my breathing, still holding onto Fatima's hand I tug her down to lay next to me, bringing her hand to us.
"Dmitri didn't want me to save him, whatever he was doing that got him killed, he made sure that I wouldn't have a way to stop him. Yes it was my own twisted story, and he followed it, he had years to right the nonsense that I was sprouting instead he left me afraid and alone. Without a way to contact him, nothing," she whispers, and the quietness is like a soft blanket cocooning us in soft light.
"You couldn't save Silas anymore than I could save Dmitri... you can't save someone that doesn't want to be Samson," her words feel like physical blows. Needing time to think this over, knowing I couldn't just accept her words and change my mindset, I nod slowly, the soft silk pillowcase chilled against my growing scruff.
"How's your head?" I ask bringing her hand to my face, "Can you hear me in this form?" the words a soft as her shallow breathing. When her brows push together, her heart starts beating hurriedly, I become distracted. Around her, Fatima's scent reeks of anxiousness, unease.
"What's wrong?" I sit up startled. Of course, something was wrong, "You - you wanted to talk to me about something that's - but then I - what's wrong?"
Sighing loudly, she pulls me back to my pillow, scooting closer to me. "I can hear other people, I - well you know how I said that I could listen to a man? Well, now I can overhear Imogen, heard Luca - when the bridge exploded. I could hear everyone - and - and I just - it was too much at once."
"You could hear their worry?" she nods squeezing my hand, "They were all panicked and praying, and I could hear everyone-"
"How long - I mean when did this start?" her uneasiness grows, her heart still beating fast and I can't understand why.
"You - you can't tell anyone - it's none of our business," she warns me, and I can only nod woodenly unsure of what would actually make her sound this way, or worry. "I had detention and walked in on Luca and Imogen - they were close together - her lip gloss was on his mouth," she whispered coming closer still, and the words she speaks are warm against my cheek, but I know she doesn't want anyone to hear.
"You saw them - them kissing?" I finally focus and ask back.
She nods, "Then Imogen said that they are in love," I rolled onto my back for a moment turning to face Fatima once again. "What did you hear her saying?"
"It was in her tone; 'Please Tezcatlipoca, please Tezcatlipoca,' and then again when she was entering the house today with the Romas.'"
"Luca is cheating on his wife... with Imogen... who is friends with Lennon... his little sister..." I said slowly, barely louder than a whisper, and Fatima nodded. "Imogen thinks they're in love?" I ask again, not knowing too much about Imogen. Yes, we were at the same school, but besides my sister and Taylor, I didn't interact with the girls.
Fatima nodded again, "I guess... you're right it's not our business... I mean... at least he isn't old," I didn't know what to say. I didn't live in their home, I didn't know why he was cheating on his wife but maybe it was because he was young, I knew Luca was only twenty-one or so, two years younger than Levi who was twenty-three. Shaking my head, I focused on what was important, "So when people are in your mind - each time you hear them - what do you hear? Do they always have to say Tezcatlipoca?"
Please, Tezcatlipoca, crap - no, I start trying it before I realize it'll cause her pain, but Fatima doesn't wince or anything, no screaming, no pain on her features. But her brows are pushed together.
"What?"
I don't say a thing; I'm unsure so I wait, "Crap... no?"
My eyes widen in surprise, "You - you heard me? Without getting any pains?" she nods.
"Why does it hurt with everyone else?" Her expression remains blank.
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Brennan Conrad POV
Forever doesn't always last forever.
I thought for sure I had found my forever in Devin but, lately, there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach after learning that she was still infiltrating our home servers and network.
It was a million times worse, crushing, knowing that as dad had thought, someone had gathered the information of those other shifters that had gone missing or were kidnapped. Because of what Devin and I did, hacking into the system, someone was able to piggyback on her backdoor entrance. The knowledge of what our choices have led to are all too real.
Devin and I never once thought of someone harming someone with the data. In fact, I knew that it was never about the data for Devin.
It was getting in that mattered.
I rest my head back against the wall of my room, avoiding everyone unsure how to act around my siblings and Devin. A knock startles me, but I don't move or leave my bed to answer it for fear that it's Devin.
The person I wanted to see the most just a month ago was now someone I hid from. "It's me," I hear murmured from the other side of my closed door. Sighing heavily I swing my legs off the bed, jumping to my feet to help the person that knocked.
When I turn the knob and open the door, though I know it was Talia that had knocked, I glance for others. Devin was not above having Talia call me out and slipping herself in. I knew her... or, well I thought that I knew her.
Thankfully Talia is on her own.
Relief is welcomed but shortlived.
"Okay... what's going on?" my twin asks, as she hobbles over to my bed, wincing still until she's comfortable. Or at least as at ease as possible with a bum leg. "I," I shrug, "I don't know what you mean-"
Talia snorts, "Ha. Right, that would work on Samantha, maybe."
I had so much on my mind I was floundering almost.
Dad, mom and Aunt Angela were planning on trapping Devin, the Headmaster had installed camera's in his office while also moving paper copy files after dad and he had spoken. At this point, my punishment was already decided.
No, contact with Devin. Although it was coming off as though I was ignoring her at this stage.
"The family or Devin," Dad had given me the ultimatum as though there would ever be a choice.
I loved Deven.
Love her.
What she had done, didn't take the love away.
But it gave me perspective.
I had been so wrapped up in Devin and our relationship that I didn't give those around me a second thought. Worse than my parents disappointed in me though were if my siblings could not forgive me.
And try as I might, I couldn't stop with the wallowing. I hadn't expected Devin to betray me, or lie to me and though I lied to my parents... I thought Devin and I were on the same page.
How could she go behind my back? And for no other reason than Taylor wanting to date Samson?
"Is it weird that Devin is here?" Talia asks.
I open my mouth ready to speak, but I close it right back. Sighing, "Yes, but not for the reason you think." Much like mom, when Talia catches on that I am not in the talking mood, she quickly lets her line of questioning go.
Putting on a movie, we watch quietly together while my mind was completely engaged by what was coming. The truth was I never thought I'd have to tell my siblings that Devin had been hacking their systems. Now, after Aunt Angela confirmed who the person gathering information was, I'd have to inform them.
Samson was still angry with me, avoiding me. Once he was acutely aware of what happened, any thread of hope we had of getting back to where we were would be lost.
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