A/N: Not Thoroughly Edited. I'm so pleased that by adding more to this story those that are reading again enjoy it with the minor details I'm adding here and there. 

So... this main difference so far is: knowing where Faith came from. 

Enjoy.

Chapter 3 – Hiding in Plain sight (Faith POV)

On the mountain, it couldn't be helped and I'm not sure when it began to bother me, but as I sit in my new dorm room, I miss the excess space I once had. Here, though I knew I had the freedom to join the world, I did not have to sit alone and listen to music. I could venture out. Actually doing so however, well I found I didn't have the motivation – and even then that was only partially the reason. For the nearly two months that I spent with Patricia and Walsh, both taking time away from work to help me, I had only learned so much.

I did not know enough to interact and keep up a full conversation.

Patricia once suggested that I should just say that I'm Amish, a group of people she explained that lived simpler lives, without electricity and venturing out of their communities. I could say that I had been banished for frolicking with a young man. I gazed blankly at her, on top of pretending not to be myself, I had to pretend to be something entirely other... it didn't matter what I pretended to be though, not in my mind. I'm fairly certain that these Amish she speaks of, even they would know that the air was not poisonous. They would not remain in their wooden community built homes never venturing out because they needed to wear body suits.

Plus, what happened when someone asked a question about living like the Amish? What then?

The fact of the matter was, I knew too little to really interact, but just enough to blend in and try not to call attention to myself. In the last week I took to binge watching movies that were current, hoping to not stand out, and to just make it a year without anyone finding out my secret. Then there was the other nagging feeling that I had as I watched and learned these last two months.

What was Dmitri really hiding me from? Walsh and Patricia had scoured all the data he left on me, however there wasn't much written which, led me to believe that maybe the air was not poisonous but I had been in danger. I just could not merge the two opposite pieces together.

There was Dmitri, the man that was my family, that kept be fed, alive and happy in a mansion on top of a hill and at the other end was the man that did all those things, but lied about the air being polluted, society being at war with one another. Loyalists, Independents, the Regime... all of that. Things that Walsh and Patricia claim they know nothing about. So why would Dmitri lie?

It's my revolving door thought, why did Dmitri lie to me?

"There are no mentions of how he truly ended up with that girl Walsh," Patricia whispered once when we stopped for gas driving across the country, fast enough that everything was a blur, but also fast enough for me to really realize that I had not grown up as many others had, "Did he – he must have harmed the child's parents and – and instead of you testing her, you do as his letters say-"

"What do you want me to say Patty? It's all wrong, everything Dmitri did to that poor girl is wrong," Walsh's voice harsh, "But did Dmitri really seem like the type of person that would keep a girl as a pet if he did not have a reason? A good one?"

"That's – what he's done-"

"You did not see that place Patty," Walsh pauses, "She was held prisoner to some extent and I don't agree with what Dmitri did there, but if I hadn't followed his notes, stopping exactly where he said, walking to the posts to turn off the traps he set, that entire property was – if we take out everything he did and just concentrate on his letter saying she needed to be protected. I do not think that there is any place safest on this planet than that mountain was for her, Dmitri made sure of it. And Patty, if Faith is like Dmitri, I cannot knowingly throw her in danger – in Bend, you and I both know that if Dmitri wants her to be in our home town, he's written that for a reason."

"You're putting a lot of faith into a person that kept a child captive," Patricia whispered harshly, "and we aren't even living permanently there-" I kept my head against the backrest, feigning sleep, even when Walsh returned to the car and the journey continued.

Shaking my head now, enough worries about attending school for the very first time, I put on my favorite movie though by now, I practically knew all the lines for each character. What I knew from movies, well everything I didn't know from Dmitri, or from books, I knew from movies... I had watched enough movies to know, that there were groups. For my sixteenth birthday Dmitri brought me almost twenty new movies and four new vinyl's, along with hemp and beads and other art supplies. That day I made I made banana pancakes since he found me fresh fruit, and we began watching movies right after lunch. The third movie we watched was 'Sixteen Candles,' and I can remember the groups and cliques from there. After watching the movie over and over a few times I finally caved in to watching 'Can't Buy Me Love,' which then led to me watching that endlessly for two days.

Still even in those outdated movies, they had shown and given me a bit of insight into what school might be like I thought.

The novels I had read, devouring words, different things I believed would help me, I'm not sure it really did but as I sat on my bed, I took one more glance at my schedule just as my phone chimed.

Patricia: Good luck on your first day, don't be nervous.

As though she could see me, I nodded. Stopping abruptly with an eye roll at my behavior, I replied thanking her and turning my phone on silent. There really were too many pleasantries and platitudes in the world I thought absentmindedly as I put it away in my bag, 'don't be nervous,' Patricia texted me, most likely because she knew I would be a wreck, yet she sent the words as though reading them would be the solution.

My schedule in my hand again, I look down scanning.

1st Period – Dr. Grant – Calculus III

2nd Period – Mr. Santos – Latin II

3rd Period– Mr. Grant – World Literature

4th Period – Ms. Davidson – American West Civil Rights/Civil Liberties

5th Period – Lunch

6th Period – Study/Free Period

7th Period – Dr. Farmer – Physics

8th Period – Coach Boone – Health and Physical Education [Swimming]

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I liked my classes and for the most part had met all of my educators over the summer holiday because they offered summer programs and the teachers were on campus. However as I stood and threw my bag over my shoulders, and reached to open the door my hand froze, a swarm of butterflies taking refuge in my belly. I tried for just a moment to think of something Dmitri had told me, something – anything – that would really prepare me for what was coming, but the truth in the matter was I wouldn't find a type of encouraging warm soliloquy.

That wasn't how Dmitri taught me to do anything.

"I can't do this," I remembered telling him when I was learning my times tables, frustrated easily.

He closed the books and put his hands on top of the table in front of me, "There's no such thing as 'can't' Faith, but there is want and need." I nodded, staring wide-eyed at him.

"You want to learn this?" he asked his voice so serious that I nodded and replied, "Yes!"

"Okay, then if you want to learn this, then you need to study, and while you practice, you won't say that you can't," and it was like that for everything else he taught me in our safe haven. I'm not sure how many more times I said I couldn't do something, but each time he said the same things until one day, I realized that even when I said I couldn't do something... If I just took the time, studied, practiced and tried even though I would make mistakes, eventually, the pieces would fall into place.

The words would all make sense.

The sums of numbers would come to me easily.

I stopped saying 'can't' by the time I was thirteen.

Instead when things were hard, "I'm really going to need to study this, practice much more, because I want to get it," I would say.

A soft knock on the door startled me and instead of going forward to open, I took a hop backwards, "Faith you awake?" Talia called softly. She knocked, do what comes next, I told myself, and this time I opened the door.

Bright faced, "Hey you okay?" she asked before anything else, her eyes on my face, dancing over my features but they were already neutral. Nodding I took a step towards her and she pulled away, "that's good, mom and dad said you were probably just home sick last night." I gave her a gentle smile, I mean, I couldn't certainly tell her that I had heard them say that, or that it wasn't that I was homesick, oh no.

It was worse than that.

Talia and her sisters were rooming with the pathetic girl that believed her whole life, that there was a war going on that never was. She believed that a deadly chemical had been spread and the only way to avoid the air particles with the poisonous virus was to wear a mask and body suit because the air paralyze you from the neck down, and you'd suffocate, there would be no painless death, killing you in seconds. That I never really questioned my life, that I once thought myself lucky.

Privileged even because I had someone that went out into the impoverished, rage filled world, that brought me back treats, gifts and no one had ever found our safe place. No one had come to our doors, banging, pleading for entrance, and threatening to destroy it if we didn't provide them with shelter. Even more so, the Regime and Loyalists had yet to harm my Dmitri during his – in my opinion – too frequent trips.

"Faith?" she whispered again her faced pinched in worry. "I'm okay, sorry about last night though," I apologized, taking one more step.

"Oh is that your schedule?" she reached taking it from my hand, looking it over quickly, "Oh you have Calculus with Thaddeus and Samson – sorry you didn't get to meet him last night though," she rambled on. "You have World Literature with Caterina, fourth period you have with Taylor-" she stopped frowning.

"She's nice, we're all friends, but we had been planning to room together, but when we were moving in we found out that she and her sister Devin, they are on the other floor," I didn't know what to quite respond to that but I went with what we told the administration in the first place.

"I have medications and wanted my own room-" Talia nodded, lifting a hand, "No – no it's fine you don't need to explain – I was just saying she isn't all that bad. Plus we hang out so much anyways, her being on another floor won't make much difference," she giggled walking to the door and so knowing I would have to face the unknown I followed.

"You have physics with Taylor, Devin, Harleigh, Samson and I, and," we continued walking down the stairs, until the first signs of morning coated over my skin.

Despite having been months I couldn't get over the musk of morning, or the dew that lingered in the air, or the many scents that I had never experienced.

"You have eighth with Taylor, Harleigh and I, as well."

I nodded, not sure if it was good that I would be with them all so much, the more time they spent with me, the quicker they were all bound to learn or decipher the truth of my upbringing for their selves if their mother hadn't clued them in.

As we made it closer to the Math and Science building Talia groaned loudly next to me, "What's wrong?" she laughed, that whole groan and displeased frown gone just like that.

"No, I hate math, I have trigonometry, I'm – I'm probably going to need to get a tutor, I just can't get math-"

It was automatic, like my brain heard the word can't and my filter dropped, "There's no such thing as 'can't' Faith, but there is want and need – if you want to learn this, then you need to study, and while you practice, you won't say that-" Talia stopping walking abruptly turning to me with a raised brow and smirk on her face while I'm sure mine reflected only horror.

"So sorry!" Her smirk transformed into confusion at my blurted out apology. Face heated and stomach flipping nervously, "Don't worry about it, is that what you tell yourself? I mean everyone has a pep talk they give themselves," she shrugged it away when I stared at the ground long enough, slightly glaring at it... it wasn't opening up and swallowing me whole like I wished.

"That's her," a few girls said walking by, snapping my head up I met each of their eyes before they looked away, entering the building, "Don't worry about that... there were only 150 seniors at this school-"

"And I'm number 151," I concluded, sighing and entering the building, leaving Talia after a quick goodbye, I duck into my room, the halls filled with students, laughing, having their conversations. Finding and empty seat, one near the back, I slide into the desk, the spot next to me empty. As more students arrive, chairs scrap against the floor, I keep my head down, focused on the rather thick text book placed in front of me.

So far in my head, I gaze at the edges, the sharpness that I know belongs to a book, my mind goes back to the books, papers, movies, records that Dmitri would bring me, all the edges were worn. The brownish cardboard edges of texts, the gloss scratched, the books weathered. Rarely did he bring something that wasn't beaten and used, but I appreciated them all the more, he had risked his life, or worked for days in trade for my gifts. And in trade, when I knew he would be going for long periods of time, I used what I could to make him gifts as well, braided bracelets... some made so intricate I knew that he would be able to trade my handiwork in for something for us to use.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and pushed away the current thoughts I was having, "Shame you didn't eat with us, Faith," the voice to my right throws me off a bit and when I lift my head to see, "Thaddeus," I greet him kindly, while my heart beats quickly.

"You remembered my name," he said with a bit of humor and approval.

My brows furrow, "Well... I'd hope so; I only just met you yesterday, it hasn't been long enough for me to forget," I replied and the person in front of us snorted, "Do people often forget your name?" with his eyebrows pushed together as well, his lips turned up on one side, Thaddeus shook his head. Which only left me wondering, but not for long because the instructor entered, called for attention and took roll starting with my name first and second, "Samson Conrad."

The one brother I hadn't met, the one who snorted just minutes before with brown hair, a bit long on the top, in a black collared shirt lifted his right hand, and Dr. Grant continued calling Thaddeus next launching into the first three chapters of our book, after covering how homework assignments should be completed. The two papers that would be expected a month on various approved topics, however if we found one that we felt would meet standards, just seek his approval.

When the class was finished, the tension that had left when I was safe, when I knew no one would speak to me, would not approach me nor would they even have the time to glance in my direction, returned. At first I wasn't sure what it was, but slowly throughout the day bit by bit I realized it was the variables in discussions, the endless what comes next in a conversation with someone – with anyone. By the time lunch rolled around, I was exhausted.

Dmitri had told me so much, had warned me repeatedly over the years that each person I saw, each other student registered automatically as Loyalist or Independent. Those that wore green were safe, but those that wore blue – with his experience – weren't to be trusted. Random pieces of information, things I ate up as a child, but pushed away all coming back to me, distracting me.

So by lunch, I walked around in an emotionally blank zone, dazed. I couldn't understand what had happened, I could answer questions when called on, I was hyper aware of those around me, I registered faces, instructions, questions – everything. However it was like I wasn't myself. All the things that were overloading my mind, all the worries about my surroundings and the people in them, faded away pleasantly.

When my free period arrived, I went to the library, working on the different assignments, my back to the wall, and my front facing outward so that I could see anyone who may approach me. Only after the class was over and I was going off to Physics did I process and review my time alone. Had I been really paying attention, I'd have noticed that everyone else was doing what I was. Their work, yet with Dmitri in my ear, it was hard to let my guards down.

Like all my other classes I entered the room, with a sigh, the haze from earlier was fading, but my body was aching, holding myself ready – prepared to defend myself from an unknown potential threat was exhausting. Distracted I wondered if it were possible to switch my swimming hour with calculus when I blindly walked towards the back of the class heading for the back seat table.

"Excuse me," very authoritative shocking me back to my senses, turning wildly I gazed at the man standing at the front of the class, his hair light, glasses perched on his nose and dress shirt wrapped up to his elbows. "What is your name?"

I blinked, taking a step back as he seemed to take one forward and then another, until he cocked his head to the side, his eyes darting over my face, he took one step back, "You're Ashlynn?" I nodded with wide eyes.

"You're up here," he pointed to a desk right underneath his nose, but with Walsh's instructions fresh in my mind I went to the front table. Doing as I had before I placed my text book, note and writing tool on the black top, my hands in my lap, as students entered and I noted that Dr. Farmer was instructing all students where to sit, a bit of the distrust that he had it out for me in some way, faded. And with less fear, I went on to hoping that Talia, or maybe even Harleigh would be placed next to me. I rolled my eyes the minute the thought registered.

A few hours ago I was convinced that more time with my roommates would not be the best

"Mr. Conrad – Ashlynn please," Dr.Farmer said but catching only my name and the last name Conrad, I lifted my head to see what I had missed. Big mistake. Glaring at me were Samson, Devin and Taylor while Talia and Harleigh looked on with smirks. Trying to pick up as many clues from just expressions, I got nothing.

"Dr. Farmer I don't want to sit with her," Samson said loudly, everyone else hearing, the smirks on Talia and Harleigh's face dropped as did mine, so I turned back to stare at the black top, and just as my heart sank when a few chuckles rang out, my anger and frustration did as well.

A button inside me was pushed and before I could stop myself, "Yeah Dr. Farmer, is Samson the best ranked student? I mean I'm a capable student, I wouldn't want to be place with someone that would hold me back from reaching my full potential," my voice didn't sound like my own and I'm sure the wide eyes I was sporting reflected that to everyone. Then thinking of how he was the only sibling that hadn't helped moved the girls in I added, "I mean, it would be unfair of you to place me with someone that I'd have to carry, that wasn't adept of holding their own."

I gazed innocently at Samson, finally getting a view of him from the front, his eyes the same as his siblings – sans Harleigh – and he was beautiful, his lips turned down in a scowl, while his eyes, blue, grey rimmed pupils glared at me in utter disdain. Thick blacked rimmed glasses framing his already unique eyes. Full lips, his jaw defined, skin stretched over a chiseled mandible, clenched he turned to Dr. Farmer when he called, "Not that I need you to advise me on how to match my students Miss Ashlynn, nor do I appreciate your blatant disrespect to my instructions Mr. Conrad," Farmer snapped.

With a sharp nod I went back to staring at my desktop, gritting my teeth as Farmer continued to instruct others where to sit, leaving this little disagreement behind, his words final until eventually I saw from the corner of my eye, Samson pulled his chair out, with a huff.

Dmitri would visit me, stay with me for long periods of time and sometimes when he came, back then, I would sit next to him and feel the emotions rolling off of him. I had believed that I was in tune to him, that when he was battling something in his mind, the tension in his back, the tense movement of his hands and his knuckles turning white as blood flow seemed to stop and that slight cracking sound. Then Walsh came... and it hit me that maybe it wasn't that I was in tune to Dmitri but this was a part of being alive.

The awareness of those surrounding you, your placement in their lives and yours in theirs.

So here I sit next to Samson, and the hatred rolling off of him for me, hits me and my body goes still – stiff – because in the back of my head, Dmitri's voice croons and I feel myself slowly becoming displaced, and the less he releases his tension, the stiffness in his body next to mine, the sparks, the energy in the room becomes uncontrollable as I inhale and it comes out as more of a gasp.

My breathing, loud and disruptive but I cannot worry about that as the air burns inside me and my hands flies to my chest, grasping at my shirt, and my eyes water when I realize that I'm feeling – experiencing what I had before when Walsh told me that – a sense of desperation. Only I've experienced it before, for the same reason, my wiring is all tied up and for whatever reason, my brain is experiencing the reaction I had when Dmitri was nervous, when I thought I would always be alone in that house, when Walsh told me it wasn't real.

And worse of all, my mind registered that nearly twenty other students were witnessing my reaction, then suddenly to my left a hand was on my thigh, in a up and down, soft gesture, "Hey you're okay," – "Miss Ashlynn? Are you alright?"

Oddly concentrating on the hand, and its owner – Talia – I was able to nod, and the gasping, settled down, "You're okay," – "Miss Conrad maybe you can take Miss Ashlynn to the nurse," I heard in my fogged brain.

"Come on," her hand molded around my left, and without deciding I felt my chair move away from the desk and blindly I was being brought to my feet, shame colored my cheeks, and my vision blurred as I held in that last bit of mortification and humiliation.

I stood like a mannequin as Talia packed my things and then led me out of the room, "Sorry," I mumbled as we walked by Dr. Farmer. The minute we were out of the room, I let just a bit of the control I had slip, "I'm so sorry about Samson," Talia said my hand still in hers, "Or was it something else... homesick?" I just shook my head taking a body shuddering breath, my whole body relaxed, tired and ready to drop, I felt as though I had been running endlessly for days and this had only been one day.

The weight of that realization was crushing, "Come on let's get you to the nurse," Talia whispered quietly thankfully letting me be while she led me to the nurse in the science and math building. "Nurse Bailey is nice," she murmured opening the door and placing my bag on the chair next to me.

Groaning she rubbed her stomach as she sat down, even in my panic old habits surfaced, "Are you okay?" Talia snorted, "You just – well you know what happened and you're asking about me?" I nodded a small smile on my face not because of her question but because had Dmitri not taken a look when he had, he never would've found me, knowing that kindness and compassion had led to him saving my life, I always paid it forward with Dmitri and now, here.

I hadn't lost myself in all the change, I was still me, I was still the caring considerate person I was when I was alone, on that mountain in my home.

"Just cramping," she whispered with a groan and my mind went to work on what she meant. Referencing back, to learning about what my own body was doing, "I think I'm going to just head back to the dorms, I'm in no condition to be swimming," she said, her eyes narrowed and hand on her stomach.

"You okay here?" she asked again, leaning forward, and in my line of sight, her freckles, catching my attention, before I focused on her eyes, with a slow nod. "You probably won't get to go to Health class either," Talia groaned throwing her backpack on "I'm going to go sleep this off," she exited just as nurse Bailey stepped out of the main office.

A small part of my brain registered that I hadn't thanked Talia, she wore a twine bracelet on her wrist, and I decided I would make her something. The woman – Nurse Bailey – pulled a chair to sit in front of me, "You had a panic attack in class?" I nodded.

I doubt I would be able to lie convincingly right now, and well there were too many witnesses.

"Were you being asked a question?" I shook my head. It all made sense to me though, I knew something bad was going to happen all day, I had the feeling, I was waiting all day for it to come – then it did.

"Were you nervous?" I sat back, and just nodded even though truly that wasn't the case, I mean I couldn't go my real problems with this woman in such an open space. "New place and all," I added that was partially true. "Well I see you have swimming next, I'm not sure that you are in the right state to attend that class," so after a little exam a note for the next day in my pocket I was let out a whole thirty or forty minutes before eighth period would be let out.

As I made my way back to the dorm room, the smoke... coming from the roof of the house I had only called home for two days sent my heart pounding. I walked to a woman on the phone, the resident adviser of another building, not my own, as she tells someone that there is no one inside, that everyone was in class and shook my head, "Talia is inside," I mumble and my voice small, is ignored. She's shouting to the device, and her ignoring me continues, more students who most likely had a free last period are around, and my surrounding transforms, the air is sucked form my lungs and my legs are moving, the shouting gets loud, the fog descends on my mind, and the resident adviser I heard saying our building was empty that all students were in class, she suddenly holding my arm, my shirt but not enough to stop me, just enough to jolt me back to the present.

I was once inside my house on the mountain, alone, afraid and wondering how I would go on, that I would be alone, my worst fear, this was it just in another form. I didn't know Talia but she was nice to me, reaching out. My auto piloted brain is already making justifications as I enter the smoke, as the heat above me stunts me, as the shouting turns to heat, I blink running as the loud around me is my own pounding heart, the fire, the smoke I'm shouting, covering my face, gasping, shouting for Talia I enter our area and the smoke is coming from the room next to hers, the room from the other side is how the fire is entering our area.

"Wet yourself Faith," Dmitri shouts in my mind, and I'm looking around, running to Talia's room, she couldn't be sleeping through all this... right? I – I would smell the smoke, but with her door closed and only smoke and fire in Paige and Caterina's room, what is on the other side of her door. Is her room filled with flames? Lessons with Dmitri come forth, "Test the door handle, Faith."

I do a fast touch, pulling my hand away, in case and when the knob feels cool to the touch, I open, shouting, "Talia! Talia! Wake up!" how is she sleeping through any of this? I shake her, and when the adjoined wall that is shared with Paige and Caterina suddenly begins to burn, the flames curling photos, the scream I release in fear sends my heart into over drive.

Gasping, my eyes unable to look away, "Talia – Talia – wake up!" I'm shouting, my body shaking, I'm not a physically strong person, healthy but she was taller than me, still holding onto her upper body, I began pulling us out of her room and near the kitchen, my mind trying to think of how we would get out while Talia felt like four hundred pounds instead of what was probably 120lb at the most. "Wet yourself Faith!" Dmitri screams in my mind, and releasing Talia I jump over to the sink, pulling the hose and turning the cold water on, spraying my self all over, wetting my skin haphazardly, before turning the water onto Talia. My hands shaking and when not even the water woke her up, my mind turned ugly.

Abandoning the hose I ran to her, checking, had I found her dead already? My heart lurched and stomach turned and thankfully I was happy I had skipped lunch, too anxious to eat around others, because the urge to vomit was just that, an urge, nothing would come up.

When I felt the light pulse, I grabbed her again, pulling us out, the shirt I wet pulled over my face, my nose and mouth, Talia's the same, the fire from the wall that we had to pass down the hallway, scorching my bare wet skin, making me stumble, my grip on Talia slipping, as I bend over screaming, slamming my hand around, patting it with my wet shirt, coughing, gasping.

I know I'm just near the first floor now, struggling in pain, my legs burning, the muscles in them protesting, heat sweltering and the pain from my arm, the skin burning though the flames are no longer there, I pull, I pull, I pull.

Something cold hits my back, and in front of me when I turn back a piece of the ceiling is falling towards Talia and I, struggling, "Help! Help us! Help! Ahhh," I cry, scream, louder than I have ever, I stumble – falling backwards, and the shouting is behind me and I'm pulling Talia and the wetness of her clothing and the porch, I over pull – shouting – and I'm tumbling, freefalling backwards.

I didn't perish alone in the safe place; I made it outside, my mind-confused thinks, and the blue sky above me is all I see before my head bounces against the ground.

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© 2016 roxann_season All Rights Reserved

Thank you for reading and voting (if you already have), but if you haven't and this is your second time reading please do vote, it's all I ask if you enjoy Loving Ashlynn.