I opened my eyes and yawned. I went to sleep yet again, and no mysterious girl. I am not sure I should be upset or happy I am not having a conversation with a hallucination.

I wrapped my arms around my body shivering as a cold draft burned my skin. It wasn't this cold when I went to sleep, besides, looking down. Why am I in my underwear?

I wouldn't be surprised if I removed my clothes before going to bed. I wouldn't be surprised if I left the A/C on max. I wouldn't be surprised if I went to sleep standing up.

However, as I am standing outside an empty horse stable, almost naked,  and under the night sky. I found myself surprised. It's like one of those early morning dazes where I go to the bathroom only to wake up asleep on the couch. Repeat this a few more times and I could finally separate reality from the dream and relieve myself.

I did what any person would do when they woke up in a strange dream-like place. I pinched myself hard. Unfortunately, the pain was real.

"Bloody hell that hurt," I said rubbing my arm.

Hay rustled under the wind, the grass squished between my toes, and the stars were so bright not even I could imagine them.

Most impressive, the two moons, like unblinking eyes. If the moon is really made of cheese as Charles believes, then that is a whole lot of cheese. The moons are huge, looming and ominous. I shivered, this time not from the cold. I don't know if humans have a sixth sense for this kind of thing, but my back tingled like someone is trying to force the soul out of my body with just their eyes.

"Hello, anyone there?"

A stack of hay rustled followed by a tiny yelp.

Dear god. Help me. I've been camping before and I know what rustling in the grass means. I am going to have to fight a bear or a family of racoons. Who knows what the inhabitants of this place look like. It could be a bear-racoon hybrid.

"You think I am afraid of you," I chuckled.

Unfortunately, only the sound of more rustling answered me back. Closer. Closer. My ears filled with the sound of hay thrown about. My heart joined in thumping with the beat of dried grass crunching.

"Boo," the just the face shouted!

I saw the face. The smile. Those marbled eyes. However, I was no longer in my body. Forced to watch from within my eyes, dissociating like a person in a waiting room at a doctor's office.

"Hello man of my dreams. Do you always wear just your underwear," the just the face asked with a laugh.

I heard myself respond.

"Only when the occasion calls for it."

The just the face fell back laughing into the hay sending heaps into the air.

I spit out a piece that landed into my mouth.

"Who are you and why do you look like that," I asked, cold and monotone.

"I am Lindsey, and look like what?"

My mind returned with a rush.

"Like that!" I said gesturing to the girl with just a face.

"What's your name and why do you look like that," she said matching my energy, albeit with a much wider smile.

"It's Jordan and what do you mean! You are a woman with just. a. face!"

Lindsey sat up still smiling.

"A lot of talk for a man showing up to a lady's home in just his underwear."

I looked down and hovered my hands over my crotch.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to stare," I said shifting my body sideways.

She raised her eyebrows.

" I am not sure what I should be looking at?"

"YOU shouldn't be looking at anything."

"Well I wouldn't struggle to find anything IF there was anything to see," she scoffed.

I turned around my back facing her.

"Besides. Is this where you live?"

Hay rustled behind me and warm breath touched my neck.

"Better than a man who can't afford clothes," she whispered into my ear.

Chills ran down my spine. Her lips are so close to touching my skin and what if they did. What would I do? I've never been with a regular woman, not to mention, a woman made of shadows. How would that even logistically work? Do I just put it. . . .

My thoughts were interrupted by maniacal giggling. I must admit, although her laughter is like honey, I couldn't help but feel she is laughing at the thing rapidly retracting back into my underwear.

"So, have you found a way to help me, naked man," she asked still breathing heavy.

I looked around. The impossibly dark sky, the two moons, and a horse stable that held a woman made of shadows.

"How can I help you when I have no Idea where I am," I said arms raised to the moons. "Is this even Earth?

Lindsey faced me. Her smile gone.

"This is not earth silly. This is Glale. Home to slaves and slave masters," she mused.

I stumbled to a patch of hay. She is either telling the truth or she is the best fantasy cosplayer I have ever met.

"Glale is not anywhere I know of," I said.

Marbled eyes sparkled in front of me.

"Earth is somewhere I have never heard of," she said with too much enthusiasm. "We must meet again before you awaken."

"Awaken? As in this is a dream awaken?"

She ignored me deep in thought.

She paced back and forth, from left to right. To right to left. Left to right. Right to left. It felt mesmerizing watching practically just a face zoom back and forth in the darkness.

"I got it," she finally shouted.

"You must go to the nearest and busiest town square and announce that you love. . ." she paused as she failed to hold in a tiny giggle then composed herself, "and announce loudly that you love maiden wenches."

She bit her lip then let out a fit of laughter.

"and. . . you're sure this will work," I asked.

Her expression turned blank.

"Yes."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. There is absolutely no way that would work.

I opened my eyes to a white ceiling painted with bright morning light.

"There is no way that would work," I said to no one.