I stood outside the door watching Darian get out of his car. I smiled as he made his way over to me with his lips curling up into a smile of his own. 

"Hey," I said while grabbing onto his collar.

"Less talking, more kissing." His lips were soon on mine, and I was quick to reciprocate. He wrapped his arms around my middle, almost encasing me in his grasp, and I teased him with a lips-only kiss.

Right when I opened my mouth to grant him access, a voice said, "You guys do know adults are in the house, right?" Darian and I pulled away, and we glanced back at Honoka.

"Glad to see you, too, Honoka," Darian replied with a coy demeanor.

"Hey, Darian," she greeted before turning her attention to me. "Don't make Otou-san wait too long. He's already hesitant."

She turned around and walked back inside. Shit. She was right. Tou-san may have allowed Darian to come to the barbecue, but that didn't mean his guard was down.

Darian and I walked into the house, and as we removed our shoes at the genkan, I said, "You have to be on your best behavior."

Darian frowned. "I'm not a toddler, you know. I can behave." He sent me a mischievous look as we picked up our shoes after removing them. "But I can also be very bad."

"Stop," I groaned. "You're going to get us both in trouble."

"You're acting like your dad is a teacher, Kenji. Relax." He patted my back as we walked through the house, which was now filled with obnoxious barking.

Thank goodness Caroline locked those little monsters upstairs in her and my mother's room. Unfortunately, that didn't make them mute.

Then I stopped, and Darian did as well. "You're not a dog person, are you, Darian?"

Last I remembered, he wasn't, but things had changed. I couldn't assume.

Darian snorted. "Me?" he asked while pointing to himself. "I can barely maintain relationships with humans. How the hell am I going to make time for some animal?"

I grinned. "Good answer. Let's go." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led the way. "I'm gonna try to relax and trust that you'll not fuck this up."

"Wow." Darian watched me, appearing amused. "Thanks?"

"It's my way of believing in you," I added as we got onto the patio, and the wonderful smell of yakitori filled my nostrils. Darian and I put our shoes back on. "Oh, and just a heads up. There will be no burgers or hotdogs at this barbecue. There will be all kinds of meat and vegetables, and my mom is even cooking rice in the kitchen."

I knew it gave into the stereotype, but I loved my rice. I didn't consider burgers or hotdogs "real" food because they never filled me up. Then again, a lot of popular foods in America, like sandwiches, cereal, French fries, corn dogs etc. didn't do it for me.

"It's Japanese barbecue, right?" Darian said, and I nodded. "And it doesn't bother me. If anything, I prefer food from other cultures. I wanna learn as much as I can about you and your culture."

"You're not tryna be Caroline Leigh?" I teased.

I remembered the dinner where she ruined my favorite pair of Jordans. That damn punch.

"No, I'm not," Darian said. "Yes, being Japanese is a part of your identity, along with everything else that makes you the person you are. But I wanna know you. How can I do that if I don't try to educate myself on the crucial aspects of your identity? I'm not just going to pick and choose the parts of you that I like the most or the parts that I understand the best. I'm gonna dive in and explore all of you, even if that territory is unknown to me."

I stared at him as pride and appreciation and admiration coursed through me. Talking to Aarav and hanging out with him after group therapy gave me hope, and he understood that aspect of me better than Darian did.

But Darian didn't have to understand everything about me. Knowing he was willing to put in the effort to try and understand was what made all the difference.

And he wasn't a dog person, so that was a plus.

I took a step towards him, and he met me halfway. "Better be careful, Darian Ansel. If you keep talking like that, frightening and unstoppable things may start happening."

"Like what?" He moved closer, and we stared at each other. "Like you falling just as fast as I am?"

I released a breath. Darian always talked about this "falling," but he never elaborated on it. My mind told me what it implied, but I didn't want to assume. After all, Aarav was right.

My mind was my worst enemy.

"Come on." He placed a hand along the side of my neck, and his thumb caressed my cheek. "Let's go down."

We put some distance between us, and I grabbed his hand and led the way down to the backyard.

The smoky air and the wonderful aromas were more prominent once we stepped onto the grass.

"Darian!" my mother said while running towards us, and she pulled him into a hug. "It's so great to see you." She had to stretch her limbs while Darian had to hunch over to reach her, but he chuckled in delight.

"It's great to see you again, Keiko," he said. I almost broke my neck by how fast my head jerked in Darian's direction. "I remembered you hated being called Mrs. Kai or by any other last name."

My mother nodded proudly. "Yup. My last name—"

"—doesn't define you," Darian finished for her, and her expression relaxed.

"You remembered." She pulled him into another hug while Caroline and Tou-san headed our way as well. Honoka was watching the grill.

My mother did hate being called by her last name. How could he remember something I almost forgot?

She scrutinized me and Darian once they pulled away. "What took you guys so long? You were up there for a long time. What were you guys talking about?"

"Keiko!" Caroline scolded my mother as she stepped forward. "How would you like it if you were their age, and your mother asked you those questions? Don't be that parent."

My mother blocked her mouth from Caroline's view, and she whispered to me and Darian, "She thinks she's the 'cool one' out of the two of us."

"I am the 'cool' one," Caroline said. "I'm Caroline, by the way." She shook Darian's hand.

"Nice to finally meet you, Caroline," he said. "I'm Darian, even though I'm sure you already know that after Keiko screamed it."

My mother and Caroline snickered, and Tou-san rolled his eyes. Our gazes met, and I motioned my head towards Darian.

Darian's gaze moved to my father. "Hello, M—"

"It's Mr. Kai to you," my father said, cutting him off. "Not Ichiro."

"Tou-san." I stared at him incredulously.

"That's what I was going to say," Darian said. "Mr. Kai," he added.

         Tou-san nodded with the firmness in his jaw not loosening. "Good. I'm going to continue the grill."

"I'll help you," Darian offered.

Before Darian could walk with him, Tou-san stopped him in his steps with a raise of a hand. "I got it," he said. Darian's brows furrowed, and Tou-san headed for the grill.

Darian leaned towards me. "He used to like me."

"Yeah," I whispered back, "in middle school."

My mother clasped a hand on Darian's shoulder. "Don't mind him. If the Wicked Witch of the West can melt, so can his heart."

Everyone laughed, and even Tou-san glared back at my mother with a playful scowl. I, on the other hand, was less than amused. While the others chatted, I marched over to Tou-san.

"What happened to playing 'nice?'" I asked as he rotated the meat on the fire.

         Tou-san didn't even glance my way because his entire focus was on the task at hand. "I was going to be cordial. I never intended on being 'nice.'"

That wasn't even cordial.

"Tou-san, onegaishimasu," I pleaded. "This means a lot to me. Darian means a lot to me and so do you. I don't want this type of tension between you guys."

"Kenji, I'm trying."

"No, you're not," I said. "Your resentment towards Darian is showing. If you were really trying, it wouldn't."

He added some beef onto the yakitori grill. "I guess I can't hide how I feel." His tone came out dry. "I know Darian is your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I can erase all those years from my mind. When you see Darian, you see your boyfriend. You see your best friend. You see all the moments you two have shared together. When I see Darian, I see a boy who turned against those who loved him because of a weakness in his character. I see pain, and tears and your life being turned upside down. I don't see that little boy from the Elite Servers anymore. Or that boy who used to come over to our house to eat Japanese food and watch TV. I don't see that boy. All I see is the wreckage that boy left behind in the wake of his weakness."

"Darian isn't going anywhere," I said with my expression stern. "He's finally ready to be in my life the way he's supposed to be. He didn't take the best path, but he found his way back to me, and I'm not letting go of him. The boy from the Elite Servers, and the boy who caused people so much pain are two versions of his old self, but Darian is past that. We've both changed, but we're not gonna let our history destroy us. Neither the boy you see nor the boy you no longer see are Darian, so give him a chance to show you who he really is. Let him in and allow yourself to see the real Darian."

       Tou-san turned the fire down, so he could focus on me. "He still means this much to you? After all these years?"

"He's my ichiban," I said. "That's all I can say."

He watched me cautiously with his lips pursed, and I waited, not backing down. Before Tou-san could speak, Darian stopped beside me with his attention on my father.

"Mr. Kai," he started, "I know you said you didn't want my help, but I'm giving it to you anyway. I'm sorry for every wrong deed I've inflicted upon Kenji and you, indirectly. I'm sorry for going down the wrong path and losing your respect and no longer being in your good graces. I wish I could take it all back, but all I can do now is move forward, so please. Let me help you. It's the least I could do."

      Tou-san narrowed his eyes, and Darian's posture remained erect and at ease. "At least you're man enough to admit it," Tou-san said, and he sighed. "Get over here before I change my mind."

Darian had a close-lipped smile on his face as he walked over to my father. "I'll leave you two," I said as I walked backwards before turning around and leaving my father and boyfriend at the grill.

It was a start.

I was grinning like an idiot until I almost bumped into someone. We backed away from each other, unscathed, and I glanced up to see Caroline with a cup in her hand.

"I'm sorry, Kenji," she said with her gaze constantly averting from mine. She did that a lot, but only around me. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"What's in that cup?" I pointed at it, and her face paled.

"P-punch," she answered, and I had to stop myself from reacting.

"Your famous punch?"

She giggled nervously. "The one and only." I forced a smile for a split second, and her giggle died down. "I'm sorry about your shoes. I really am."

"I'll live," I said. "Hey. I'm alive now." She nodded, and we went silent, the both of us looking around.

My gaze dropped to Caroline's feet. She wasn't wearing shoes. She was barefoot in the grass that was littered with dirt and critters slithering through the earth. She could be barefoot in the backyard, somewhere she could get a fungal infection, but she couldn't be barefoot in the house? Because she was afraid of slipping?

I didn't get this woman. Caroline Leigh was another breed.

I looked over to Tou-san and Darian grilling the meat. Then my attention shifted to my mother talking to Honoka at the table.

      Tou-san was giving Darian a chance. Maybe it was time I did the same with Caroline.

Yeah, she was eccentric, and I didn't understand a lot of the things she did. I didn't agree with a lot of her decisions or views, but my mother loved her.

Caroline Leigh was my mother's Darian.

"I'm sorry, Caroline," I said, and her eyes went round.

"For what?"

"Everything?" I answered with a sheepish look. "There's the evil stepmother, and I've pretty much been the evil stepson."

"No, Kenji," Caroline said with a shake of her head. "You weren't the nicest to me. I know you've never liked me, but you're not evil." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're not a bad person, but you were hurt and confused. You were experiencing a lot of negative emotions, and you needed someone to let it out on. That doesn't make you evil."

I scoffed. "That's no excuse. You're not a terrible excuse of a woman." She giggled. "I'm sorry for every other negative thing I've said to you or said about you. I'm also sorry for all my negative thoughts."

"I'm happy," Caroline said with both hands grasping her cup. "Not because you're apologizing to me, although that's nice. I'm happy that you're freeing yourself." Now, I was confused. "Kenji, when a person is exceptionally angry at you about something that isn't really your fault, that anger is all about them. It has nothing to do with you."

"I've never thought of that."

"You apologizing to me right now," she went on, "isn't really about me. It's about the fact that you've worked out something within yourself." She grinned. "That's what I'm happy about."

I returned her grin. "Thank you, Caroline."

"Give me a hug." She opened her arms. "I'm a hugger, and I love touching people. I sure as hell haven't hugged you enough. Come here."

        Oh God.

I walked into her arms anyway, and she squealed while squeezing me to her. "I'm really happy, Kenji."

Caroline Leigh was peculiar, but maybe she wasn't so bad. When she released me, she dragged me over to the punch bowl. I was hesitant to drink the punch at first because it did destroy my Jordans, but once I drank it, it wasn't so bad. It was actually delicious. She gave me another cup, thrilled that I enjoyed it.

"This is a sight." My mother stopped between us with her eyes flickering between me and Caroline. "You two talking and drinking punch?"

"Yup," Caroline said. "Kenji finally sampled my punch, and I got something from you, too, Kenji."

"Yeah?" This was news to me. "What's that?"

"I'm learning Japanese," she said. "You were right. How can I have a life with Keiko and be so oblivious about her culture?"

"Caroline is very serious about learning Japanese," my mother said, "and also about learning the culture. She's eating more Japanese food, and she's even trying to remove her shoes in the house."

"Really?" I was impressed. "That's great."

"What you said was harsh," Caroline said, "but it was a wake-up call. Sometimes, the things that seem disastrous, end up teaching you a lot. So, arigatou, Kenji-kun."  I smiled, and she pointed over to the table where Honoka sat. "I'm gonna go talk to Honoka."

She was off, walking in a fashion that looked like she was bouncing on her toes. "Wow." I gulped down some more punch. "Caroline's a lot."

"She is," my mother agreed, "but I'm so glad you two talked. I know things will take time, but this is the first step. You're my son, and Caroline is my wife, so it'll be a relief to not have this tension between the two of you."

Caroline and Keiko.

It wasn't Keiko and Ichiro.

"I'll get better, Kaa-san," I said. "Things are falling into place, and one day, I will, too."

My external world was calm. Now, it was time to work on the internal. Caroline Leigh ruined my Jordans.

But that wasn't the real problem, and I was ready to face that.

My mother brushed my hair back with her fingers. "Of course, you will, Kenji. Of course, you will."

"Hey," Honoka called over while waving frantically at us. "Are you guys gonna stand there, or come and hang out with us?" She stood at the table with Darian and Tou-san joining her. They placed the plates of meat onto the table. "Coming?"

"I have the rice!" Caroline announced as she ran down the stairs with a large bowl of rice. She zoomed past us to everyone else.

"We're coming, we're coming!" My mother waved them off, and she turned to me. "Let's go, musuko." She linked her arm through mine, and we made our short walk over to the others.

There was no more Ichiro and Keiko, but at least, there was Kenji and Keiko. There was always a mother and her son. 

When we reached the table, we gathered around, and everything was ready. The meat was there. The rice and vegetables were there and even the sauces were there. Most of all, my family was there. For the first time in years, we felt like a family again. We were in an unorthodox situation, but we were a family, nevertheless.

"Itadakimasu," Darian and Caroline said simultaneously, and they stared at each other.

"Itadakimasu," the rest of us said, and we began eating.

Later that night, Darian and I were talking on the phone. Honoka and I had returned to the apartment an hour ago, and we were both relaxing in our rooms.

"I had a blast," Darian said from across the line, "I always liked your dad. He may not like me yet, but he hates me a little less. I won't give up on him, just like you never give up on me."

"You were great," I said. "You handled the situation with my dad really well. You were smooth with my mom. Caroline even liked you."

Then again, I didn't know if Caroline disliked anyone. I was a jerk to her, and she never hated me.

"You can't forget Honoka, Kenji."

"It's Honoka," I said. "She already knows you."

"You're always forgetting, Honoka." He chuckled. "I love your family, Kenji. I love all of them. Your dad, your mom, your stepmother, and of course, my girl Honoka."

Oh, Darian.

"They made me feel at home," he said. "I felt more at home with your family than I do with mine. You guys are so free. You don't mind being a little loud and a little crazy. You act human. My family are like a bunch of robots."

"I'm sure—"

"They do," he jumped in. "You and your father have such a good relationship. That man loves you, and he'll do anything for you. Remember seventh grade? When there was that fundraiser going on for refugee families and the more you donate, the more prices you get?"

"Yeah."

That was a huge fundraiser. Almost everyone was involved in some way. Most people did so for their own personal gain though, and they did it because everyone else was doing it.

"Remember how my dad kept giving me money, so I could get the prices?"

"I remember."

Darian got a lot of prices. He was one of the students who donated the most, and Clay and I were salty about it. We congratulated him and smiled to his face, but we were boiling on the inside. Now, that I thought about it, it was petty and juvenile.

"You were upset that your parents couldn't give you more money to donate," he said. "Your dad, specifically."

"I was jealous of you," I admitted. "I've been jealous of you a lot of times. Not only is your dad a fucking senator who's been making a name for himself even before that, but your family is old money, Darian. You always got everything you wanted. Your family's known in Shirley Heights. You were important just because you had the Ansel name. I was jealous of you."

I wasn't jealous of Darian anymore, but I used to be, for a long time. It was relieving to admit it aloud, especially to him.

"I was jealous of you, too, Kenji," Darian said, and I sat up in my bed. "I was particularly jealous of you during the seventh grade fundraiser."

"What?" I shook my head, wanting to clear it in case I heard wrong. "Why?"

What was there to be jealous about? He was the one who had the dad who used to throw money at him.

"Remember the part of the fundraiser where there was that 'father/son field day?'" he asked. "I really wanted to do it, and you and Clay were also doing it. I asked my father to come, and he told me he had important things to do. When I came home that day, he was dressed casually, watching TV. I asked him about his work, and he confessed that it was one of his off days where he didn't have a lot of work to do. He didn't want to waste it on my field day."

"Darian..."

"Seeing you and your dad that day was gut-wrenching," Darian said. "I watched the events from the side, and you two weren't even close to winning." I stifled a laugh. "You were losing pretty badly actually." I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I chuckled. "But that wasn't the point. It wasn't about winning. It wasn't about money. It was about spending time together. You guys were always laughing and talking and having fun, even though you were losing. I used to be jealous of your relationship with your father, but now, I admire it. I've never had those moments with my father, so I love your family, Kenji—every one of them."

"Work things out with your dad," I told him. "You need to make big moves to get big changes. Making your dad proud is great, but that doesn't guarantee closeness. You two need to speed quality time together."

"Doing what?" Darian said with a scoff. "Everything I like, he hates. Everything he likes, it's boring as fuck. Golfing? Why do rich people like to golf? It's so fucking boring."

"That's not the point," I said. "You need to find a way for the two of you to spend some time together. It's not about what you're doing, but who you're doing it with. Like you said, Tou-san and I were losing, but we had a blast. We weren't having fun because we were losing. We were having fun because we were together. You and your father haven't gotten to that point yet, but you have to work up to it."

He sighed, and I could hear his sheets ruffling. "I'll think about it. I'm happy you trusted me to not fuck things up at the barbecue. Thank you for not assuming I'll be a screw-up. My dad wouldn't have done that."

"I'm not your dad, and that's what I do." I laid back onto my bed. "I'm your rid-or-die guy, Darian."

"Good to know," he said, "because from now on, I'm not leaving your side either. I'm never turning against you again or hurting you like I did before. That little boy who caught your ball at the Elite Servers may not be around anymore, but he grew up. Now, I'll let you catch your own ball, but I'll stand by you the whole time."

My hand was shaking, and I couldn't stop it. I wasn't dreading anything; I was excited, even if there was a hint of fear.

"I think I'm ready, too," I said. "Darian, I'm ready to catch my own ball."

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* What do you guys think about the barbecue? Kenji's father and Darian? Kenji and Caroline? Kenji and his mother? All the Danji moments, especially that last scene? Anything at all?

* Sorry I've been MIA lately, but spring break is coming up and right before breaks is when all the work piles up. I'll go through comments and reply soon, but right now, all I have time for is updating. Even that takes up too much time.

* When I update next, it'll be spring break, which I'm so ready for. I hope you guys enjoyed this update!