The day that ended in that fatal crash was my last day with Camila Alvarez.

        I would never see Camila's smile or hear her voice in person again. I would never get to have a fake argument with her or playfully make fun of her for all her little quirks. I would never have her as a friend again.

        "Kenji?" Alissa placed her hand on my arm, and I glanced her way, not hiding the tormented expression on my face. "What's wrong?"

        "Just overwhelmed right now." My grip tightened on my wrist.

        "About what?" She scooted closer to me.

        "Camila." Alissa's hand dropped to her side. "I'm thinking about how we're hanging out again. You, me, Honoka and Clay. Hell, even me and Darian finally talked. It's like things are finally falling into place." I closed my eyes briefly before re-opening them. "But I know better. Even if things do improve for our group, it'll never be the same. Camila will still be gone."

        "Kenji." Alissa grabbed my chin so I would look at her, and her expression mirrored mine surprisingly. "You're right. It will never be the same. Even if we all become friends again, all of our new relationships will be different. It's impossible for us to go back to the way things were before."

        "I know, and it sucks."

        "It does." Alissa moved a strand of hair that fell out of her bun behind her ear. "Things are different now. Just like how they became different after the accident."

        "Don't remind me." I looked away.

        That accident was a marking point in my life—for the worse.

        When Darian abandoned our group, with the exception of Camila, it was as if the rest of us no longer mattered to him. We were all hurt and a little angry when he started hanging out with Gavin and Aaron instead. After that, Darian became a different person.

        Getting into trouble. Picking fights. Going in and out of juvie. Drinking. Smoking. Constantly getting high and occasionally doing harder drugs. Moving from being my friend who was smart as hell to a slacker in the few classes we shared.

        He became a goon.

        It was the goons versus our group. It just sucked that our old best friend was a part of the enemy. That was why we hated on Gavin and Aaron. We blamed them for Darian leaving us, even though it was his choice.

        After two years of this, Camila got tired of it. The summer after sophomore year, she spent a whole week trying to convince her dad to allow her to have a sleepover. Mr. Alvarez was hesitant at first due to Camila wanting to invite me, Clay and Darian, but he knew the three of us pretty well, so he allowed it.

        Camila planned everything out. We were going to watch movies all night, talking and goofing around like old times. Then we would all spend the night and wake up the next day to have breakfast before heading for the road. We were going to spend the whole day at an amusement park near the edge of Shirley Heights, and we were all going to bond and reconnect. Once it got late, we were going to drive back and drop everyone home one by one.

        She planned it as the start of us easing Darian back into our group. It was supposed to be the start of us returning to normal, before Darian left.

        The movie night, breakfast and amusement park part went smoothly. Darian eased up throughout his time with us, and by the time we left the amusement park, he was talkative and acting like the Darian we all grew up with. After we left was when things took a drastic turn.

        I had recently gotten my license, making me the last one to get it. Honoka and I had our birthday early in the summer, but she got hers quickly after our birthday passed. I failed the test the first time, so I had to take it again two weeks later. When I finally got my license, everyone was ecstatic, and Camila said I should drive during our Get-Darian-Back plan in honor of my accomplishment.

        We were using Tou-san's SUV anyway because Camila wanted a big car so all of us could fit—another tactic to promote bonding. Honoka and I picked up Clay, Alissa, Arya and Darian from their houses, and we took them to Camila's. I drove us to the amusement park, and then I drove us on the way back.

        That drive back was the worst mistake of my life.

All the omens were there. I was a teen driver with a car surpassing the legal limit of passengers I could have, after only having my license for a couple weeks. It was night time and nearing eleven, and we were being loud, goofy teenagers.

        I still wasn't sure how it all happened, but one minute we were all laughing and having a great time. Then the next thing I knew, all I could see were the headlights of another car. It was still a blur now, but somehow, we collided with the car. The driver of the other vehicle lost control, and I was too distracted by the commotion in the SUV to spot it early.

        Camila died on the scene of the accident. She didn't even make it to the hospital. She sat in the front seat, and she and I got the most impact, but Camila was the only casualty. Not me, the guy who was driving and who was too distracted. Camila was the one who died.

        I killed my best friend.

        Every time I saw those hideous scars on my abdomen and chest, I was reminded of that.

        "What happened to us?" Alissa asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. "One day, there's seven of us. Best of friends. All glued to the hip. Fast forward a couple years, we're practically strangers."

        I knew what she meant. Even though things were looking up now, that didn't mean those two years after the accident didn't happen. Our group changed drastically.

        Arya grew to hate me and moved to live with her aunt in Colorado. That same summer, Alissa moved away to live with her parents in Massachusetts. Clay distanced himself from me and Honoka and eventually cut us off completely. Honoka and I slowly but surely drifted apart, and we only maintained contact because we lived in the same house. Darian and I became arch enemies junior year. Then senior year came, and we avoided each other completely.

        Last week was the first time Darian and I had spoken in over a year.

        "I'm sorry," Alissa whispered, drawing me from my thoughts.

        "For what?" I asked.

        "For leaving," she said.

        "Alissa, no—"

        "I left because I wanted to get away," she interrupted me.

        "I get that." I wanted to get away, too, but unlike Arya and Alissa, I couldn't.

        "Yeah, but I only left because I didn't have the guts to stay."

        "Alissa, you don't have to—"

        "I have to say this." She gulped, and I allowed her speak. "I felt overwhelmed because I couldn't handle what had happened. I couldn't face any of you, and I wanted to escape it all, so I abandoned you guys. That was the easier thing to do, Kenji."

        "I know."

        "I stopped contacting all of you, and I avoided your calls and texts."

        I remembered that. After she and Arya left, it was like they fell off the face of the earth. None of them responded to our texts or our calls, and they completely cut me, Honoka, and Clay off.

        "I'm sorry about that," Alissa murmured.

        "It's okay."

        "No, it's not. You guys were my best friends. People don't treat their friends like that." Moisture collected in Alissa's eyes, but she did a great job containing it. That was Alissa, always in control. "I shouldn't have acted as if I was the only one hurting. I should have known you guys were dealing with the same thing, and I should have stayed so we could have helped each other through it, instead of leaving and pretending none of it happened." Alissa stared ahead at nothing in particular. "I know that now, but I didn't then. I wanted to forget that it all happened. I wanted a fresh start." Her gaze returned to mine with a small smile. "So I went after it. I got new friends. A new look.

        "A new attitude," Alissa continued. "A new everything!" She laughed at herself, but I remained silent, listening instead. "But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget you guys, especially Camila. What happened that night stayed in my mind and wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried. Nothing I did worked, so I eventually gave up. I accepted the fact that I couldn't forget what happened, and it didn't matter how much I tried leaving my past behind. It was still a part of me." Her face grew serious. "It's still a part of all of us."

        "I like Wise Alissa." I smiled, making her do so as well.

        "The question still remains though," she said. "What happened to us?"

        I shrugged. "Life happened."

        Alissa's eyes brightened. "You still say that?"

        I chuckled at the amusement in her voice. "Hell yeah. Gotta be loyal to my number-one phrase, right?" I said, imitating her previous statement.

        Ever since middle school, my biggest saying was "life happened." I had stuck to that mantra all those years, and I didn't plan on letting it go anytime soon. It was true. Life happened. That was my answer for everything.

        "I missed hearing that." Alissa smiled. "I missed all of you in general."

        "We missed you, too," I confessed.

        "Camila would probably roll over in her grave if she saw us now," Alissa groaned. "We let her down."

        "I know."

        Alissa was right. Camila was the "glue" of our group. She always kept our friendship going and kept everyone on good terms, and she planned a majority of our big group hangouts. One of Camila's biggest goals was for all of us to remain friends for the rest of our lives. She never wanted us to drift apart, which was why she tried so hard to get Darian back into our group.

        She would have been so disappointed if she saw how we ended up after her death.

        "But that's life," I said. "People and situations are always changing. Sometimes for the better, other times for the worse."

        "You're right." Alissa sighed, but a look of determination crossed her face soon after. "But just like how things changed after the accident, we can change them now—for the better."

        I grinned. "I'll like that."

        "Me, too." Alissa pulled me into her arms. "I missed you, Kenji!"

"I missed you, too." I chuckled while hugging her back, trying to stop us both from falling over.

        After pulling away, we laid on the court and talked like normal. It brought back good memories, and all those good memories overshadowed the bad ones. It helped ease my mind for a bit even if it was only for a few minutes.

        Later on, Alissa's roommate picked her up and after saying my goodbyes, I headed for my apartment. I grinned the whole way back. It was another good day. I hadn't felt this great since last week, after my talk with Darian.

        But my face dropped and my pace slowed when I saw Rosalyn waiting for me beside her car. Her arms were crossed as her eyes stuck to me, a scowl prominent on her face.

        "Hey...." I greeted slowly while I stopped in front of her.

        Rosalyn huffed and uncrossed her arms. "Yeah, Kenji. You're so busy, in basket shorts and coming back from the court I assume."

        Fuck.

        "Rosalyn..." I took a step forward and reached for her.

        "Don't even." She pushed my hands away, and her harsh tone made me cringe.

        She was pissed.

        "I'm sorry, Rosie." I didn't want her mad at me.

        "If you didn't want to hang out, you should have just said so."

        "I was hanging out with Clay and Alissa."

        "You should have just told me that then!" she yelled, leaning towards me. "We haven't talked face-to-face in almost a month."

        Damn. That long?

        "I know," I lied, running my hands down her arms. "I know, Rosie. I'm sorry. I've just been..."

        "Busy?" she finished, not looking convinced. I remained silent. "Before college, we hung out multiple times a week. And when we weren't together, we texted and called often. Now, all of that has stopped, and it's only the beginning of the school year. It's only going to get worse, Kenji."

        "Rosalyn."

        "I don't want to hear it." She silenced me with a raise of her hand, and mine dropped from her arms. "Chiyo warned me this was going to happen." I groaned. Man, I hated that little Japanese girl. She was always out to get me. "She told me we would drift apart due to the distance between us once you went to college, but I chose to ignore her. I believed in us too much. I believed in you." The hurt was evident in her voice, which broke my heart. "I guess I was wrong, and she was right."

        "No..." Fuck, Chiyo!

        "I don't want to get hurt, Kenji," she cut me off.

        "You won't!"

        "You sure about that?" she asked. "Eventually you'll get tired of me, and I'll just be holding you back. I don't want to hold you back."

        "You're not!" I ran my hands down my face, not liking where this was going.

        "Right now, I feel like your leash, and I don't want to do that to you. I'll always want the best for you, Kenji. Maybe the best thing to do right now is to end this."

        My face paled. "Rosalyn. You don't mean that."

        "Maybe this is for the best." Her eyebrows knitted together in thought.

        "Rosie, please," I pleaded.

        Rosalyn pushed me back, and I stared at her in disbelief. "You've outgrown me, Kenji."

        I snorted. She sound like Arya.

        "This is only the beginning, and it'll keep getting worse," she said. "I've always been afraid of this happening ever since your senior year. Now, my fears are coming true."

        I rubbed my eyes. I didn't want to lose Rosalyn. She meant too much to me. She and Tou-san were the only people I had junior year. They were the only people there for me through the hardest time of my life. They were my rock.

        "Rosie, don't," I pleaded.

        "Kenji, por favor," she sighed.

        "Rosalyn, onegai," I imitated, even though this was not a joking matter at all.

        "I'm sorry, Ken. I can't do this anymore." I stared into her eyes, fighting back the moisture that collected in mine. "I love you, and I want to be with you, but I'm not going to wait around for you to get tired of me. I'm not going to wait for you to hurt me."

        I couldn't even defend myself because I was afraid of what would happen if I tried speaking.

        There was tension in Rosalyn's jaw. This was hard for her, too, so I didn't know why she was doing this. "I'll always want the best for you, and me letting you go is for the best," she said before planting a soft kiss on my cheek. When she pulled away, we held eye contact and her lips broke into small smile. "Bye, Kenji." She turned around and entered her car.

        "Rosalyn!" I shouted, my final attempt at stopping this.

        She ignored me, starting her jeep and driving off instead, and all I could do was watch her go. This couldn't be happening.

        Rosalyn, one of the people I trusted and depended on the most after Camila's death, just walked out of my life.

         My little Latina and I just broke up.

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