I couldn't stop thinking about last week when Honoka and I had the dinner with Darian and the goons. I couldn't stop thinking about Darian himself because I couldn't believe he actually apologized. I'd been waiting on an apology for years, and I finally got one.

I even told Tou-san about it on one of our phone calls, but he wasn't nearly as excited as I was.

I knew Darian and I weren't going to be friends like we used to, and I wasn't even sure if we were ever going to be friends again, but I didn't mind being cordial. There were still some sore feelings from the way he treated me, but maybe in time, I would be able to fully forgive him.

Alissa texted me last night that she and Clay were coming over to hang out. She didn't tell me what she had in mind, but I was up for anything. I made sure to tell Honoka because Alissa said she wanted her there, too. Honoka had to meet up with Gavin at five so they could work out at the gym, but she said she was going to hang out with us before going.

Not long after Alissa said she was going to come over, my phone rang. I glanced down at the caller I.D., and the blood drained from my face.

        My mother.

No.

I declined the call and pretended I didn't see anything. She probably knew I declined it, but then again, I usually declined her calls.

My mother and I never really interacted much after fifth grade, unless we were forced to. I knew she wanted to talk to me and see me more, but I wasn't interested. Honoka could try pretending nothing happened and act all friendly, but I wasn't about that shit.

Our mother divorced our father to be with a woman.

Caroline Leigh to be exact.

I didn't hate anyone, except for Caroline Leigh. She just had to be one of the fifth grade teachers at my elementary school. She just had to start talking to my mother and make her realize she was into women. She just had to force herself into our lives. Caroline Leigh ruined my family.

My mother said she had always known she was a lesbian, but she was only in denial.

If she always knew she was a lesbian, why the hell did she marry Tou-san?

Why the hell did she make Tou-san waste all those years on her when he could have been with a woman who actually wanted him?

Why the hell would she decide to drop the bomb on us in the form of a divorce and another woman?

Everything about the whole situation made my blood boil. Tou-san was an amazing man and a great father. He didn't deserve to be led on and used by a woman he loved. I was never going to forgive my mother for abandoning us for that woman.

I pushed thoughts of my mother and Caroline Leigh out of my mind. I was going to have fun with Alissa and Clay, and I didn't need my mood to be ruined.

I got a text a minute later.

Rosalyn didn't reply.

        We hadn't hung out after that first day Honoka and I moved in. We texted a few times after college started, but it wasn't much, which was weird since Rosalyn and I usually texted all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my little Latina, and I knew I hadn't hung out with her in a while, but it wasn't something I actively tried fixing. I mean, when I was friends with the group, even when we didn't hang out in a while, we didn't cry about it or think about each other twenty-four-seven. We let it be.

It was the same with me regarding Rosie. We would hang out later. Right now, my focus was on Clay and Alissa.

Soon enough, Alissa rang the doorbell, and I let her in. After removing her shoes at the doorway, she pulled me into a hug, shouting, "Kenji!" I laughed while closing the door behind her. "How've you been?" she asked once we pulled away.

I dug my hands into my pockets and said, "Great. Darian and I talked last week."

Alissa's eyes bulged out. "Really? Clay told me he was an ass to you after Arya and I left."

I nodded. "He finally apologized for being a dick."

"That's shocking."

"I know right." After high school ended, I thought that was it, and Darian and I would remain enemies for the rest of our lives. I never expected this sudden apology or this sudden agreement to be cordial. "It was long overdue though."

"Yeah, it was." I took in Alissa's appearance again. She was wearing a plaid skirt with a white tank top, and her hair was up in a ponytail with light makeup on her face.

"I'm still not over your new look." I laughed as ran my fingers through my hair. This wasn't the Alissa I remembered—not by a long shot—but she looked good, and I approved of anyone looking good.

"Get used to it, kid." She smiled with her chin raised, and I shook my head at her for using that nickname, too. Then my eyes moved down to the Boston Celtics drawstring bag she was holding.

I smirked. "Boston Celtics still your favorite basketball team?"

"Hell yeah," Alissa said. "Gotta be loyal to my home state."

        Typical Alissa. "Speaking of, are you ready for this year's basketball season?" I asked.

Alissa told me over one of our texts that she got a scholarship to Shirley Heights University to play basketball, so I didn't know why I asked. The extra brown to her skin as a result of conditioning reminded me of what I already knew.

"Of course, I am," Alissa said. "Someone has to lead the girl's team to victory."

I chuckled. When it came to basketball, Alissa had a big head, but I couldn't blame her. If I was as good as she was, I would be cocky, too. Even though Alissa was average weight and only stood at around 5'6, she still kicked ass.

"What's in there by the way?" I pointed at the drawstring bag.

"My change of clothes."

I quirked a brow. "Change of clothes? For what?"

"Well," she began as she walked towards me, "I may have a more feminine look now, but that doesn't mean my skills in the court have diminished. You and Clay up for a friendly game of basketball?"

"Hell yeah!" I hadn't played basketball since Alissa moved.

"Great!" As soon as Alissa said that, Honoka walked in. "Honoka!" The two girls hugged, and Alissa told Honoka about the plan. Right when she finished talking, the bell rang.

It was Clay, and he was late. I opened the front door in record time and after reminding him to remove his shoes, I clasped my hand on his shoulder. "Come in, man. We're playing basketball today."

I led him in, closing the door behind him, and Clay turned to Alissa. "Is that why you told me to bring athletic clothes?"

"Yup."

"Well, hello, Clay," Honoka said with a frown directed at him.

I winced. "Better say 'hi' to her."

"Hey, Honoka!" Clay caught on, making sure to be overly enthusiastic. Alissa and I laughed at the two.

"Okay." Alissa clasped her hands together and turned to Clay. "Let's change into our clothes." She glanced between me and Honoka. "You two should change as well."

Alissa and Honoka both walked in the direction of Honoka's room to either change clothes or find clothes. I made my way to my room as well but stopped when I realized Clay wasn't following me. I peeked back at him. "You coming?"

He seemed to contemplate it for a second before nodding and following behind me. I closed the door behind us and rummaged through my closet for some basketball shorts and a wife beater. When I found it, I laid it out on the bed and turned to Clay. I was shocked to see him in only his boxers as he tried putting his basketball shorts on.

Clay was a scrawny kid in middle school, but over the years, he gained more meat on his bones. He was still a pretty lean guy—leaner than me—but his growth spurt made him around Darian's height now, although Darian probably still had an inch or two on him.

When Clay caught me staring, he smirked. "Like what you see, Kenji?"

I smirked right back, playing along. "Definitely."

While Clay secured his basketball shorts on, he said, "I know you miss this body." He motioned down his body and even added a little body roll, making me burst into laughter.

I turned away from him and removed my clothes, too.

Clay and I used to be the mix between "just friends" and "more than friends".

I wasn't gay, but I wasn't closed to the possibility of being with a guy, and I just never really put much thought into my sexuality. I went with the flow, and if I was horny and single and a guy was available, and I thought he was somewhat good-looking, why not?

Because of this, Clay and I started a "fling" in middle school—sixth grade to be exact. It was a time of self-discovery and horniness. We both wanted some...release. Sexual tension and hormones were built up to the brim in the both of us, but we didn't have any girlfriends to find that release with.

Yeah, we could have gotten "assistance" from our female friends Alissa, Arya, Camila and Honoka for Clay as well, but that would have been too complicated. There was the whole blur between friendship and more, the temptation to have full-on sex, the possibility of getting a girl pregnant, etc. With a guy, it was so much simpler, so Clay and I made a deal to "help" each other out.

We both liked girls, but we were two horny preteen boys. We wanted to experiment, so we decided to do so with each other. There was no other guy that I trusted more than Clay to do it with. Well, there was Darian, but I doubted he would have been willing.

Darian was as straight as you could get.

So Clay and I started exploring the wonders of sexual acts and orgasms together. Whenever we were alone and knew our chances of being caught were slim, we indulged. We mostly stuck to jerking off together, and we sometimes jacked each other off. On a few special occasions, we gave each other blowjobs, but we never actually had anal sex or even touched each other anywhere near the ass. We stuck strictly to the dick area.

We maintained our "bros with a little extra love", as Clay called it, relationship all throughout middle school. When Darian started drifting away from me in eighth grade, I spent more time with Clay, and our sessions became more frequent. What could I say? It was a stress reliever, and it felt good.

It was nice while it lasted, but once high school came, Clay ended it. He said it was starting to feel weird because he liked girls, and he only saw me as a friend. I felt the same way. We were both tired of cock, and wanted something more feminine.

I started dating Kimiko Yamada, and I was with her all throughout freshman year and half of sophomore year and even lost my virginity to her while Clay dated other girls. We were both getting the release we always wanted from our girls, so we didn't need each other anymore.

After it ended, we continued being bros, and we acted as if nothing happened, even though when we were alone, we would occasionally make references to that time in our friendship. We referenced it like we did now.

No one knew about me and Clay, except for Camila. She walked in on us once when I had Clay's dick in my mouth, and she walked right back out.

When we questioned her about it, she acted as if she didn't see anything, and that was that. The three of us pretended nothing happened. No one else knew, and Clay and I preferred it that way.

When Clay and I were both done changing, we left my room and met up with the girls in the living room. As soon as we put our shoes on and grabbed all the things we needed, we headed for the basketball court available in the apartment complex.

It was a five-minute walk, and Honoka and I told Clay and Alissa all about our dinner with Darian and the goons. Alissa was super excited, wanting to know all the details about Darian. I was still in shock by how different she was now. The Alissa I remembered was like one of the guys, and she always kept her cool. It was amazing what a few years could do to a person.

We arrived at the court in no time, and Honoka chose to sit on the ground, sipping on her cup of green slime. It was this green smoothie she always drank that was made of spinach, kale, chard, aloe vera juice and a whole bunch of other shit. It was supposedly good for your body.

While Clay, Alissa and I prepared for our game, Clay scrunched his face at the green liquid Honoka was drinking. "What the hell is that?"

Before she could answer, I did. "It's this green smoothie shit Honoka started drinking after becoming a health nut senior year."

"Is it good?" Alissa asked, and I wrinkled my face this time.

"Hell nah!" I yelled. "That shit's nasty."

Clay and Alissa laughed while Honoka glared at me. "You don't even drink it, Kenji."

Hell yeah, I didn't drink it. That was intentional. What the hell did I look like drinking some green goo?

Honoka resumed drinking her smoothie. "While I'm living a healthy life and enjoying my old age, you'll wish you drank some of this in your youth."

"I'm good," I said, grabbing the basketball. "I'll rather enjoy my youth. Worry about the consequences later."

"Sounds like something Darian would say," Clay admitted, coming up behind me to clasp a hand on my shoulder.

"I know right." My mind once again went to him. Thinking about Darian as much as I did the past week made me uneasy, but I liked it at the same time.

"Okay, losers," Alissa interrupted my thoughts. "Enough talk. Time for some ass kicking."

"I'm not so sure about that." Clay advanced in her direction. "Although I won't mind you being near my ass." He stopped in front of her, closer than necessary.

"Oh, really?" Alissa crossed her arms, amusement evident on her face. "You're into that kinky shit?"

"Maybe I am." Clay raised his arms, glancing at her sideways. "Or maybe it's just you." He moved even closer to her, staring into her eyes as she fought back a smile.

The hell...? Honoka and I glanced at each other before she moved her gaze down to her drink, clearing her throat.

"I wonder if you'll still say that once I annihilate your ass." Alissa stepped away from Clay and walked towards me, snatching the ball from my grasp. "Come on, boys. Keep up." Alissa dribbled the ball, making her way to the hoop with her back turned to it. "At least try to be somewhat of a challenge."

"Oohh," I said in warning. "You testing us?"

Alissa smirked as Clay and I made our way over to her, escalating in speed the closer we got, and she dashed off, dribbling the ball towards the hoop. She made it and scored of course, and that was the beginning of our game.

We played for two hours with Alissa annihilating our asses like she predicted, and Clay and I trying desperately to redeem ourselves and get what was left of our manhood. Jamming out to Clay's playlist of Drake's album Nothing Was the Same made losing less painful though. I even replayed "Tuscan Leather" at least four times because that was my favorite song on the album. I needed it with the way Alissa was emasculating us.

An hour into the game, Honoka left to meet up with Gavin, and we said our goodbyes before resuming our game. Clay and I scored occasionally, but in the end, Alissa beat our asses. The girl was a beast in the court.

In high school, she was the best player on the girls' basketball team. She practiced a lot with me and Clay, but Clay and I only played for fun. We never took it seriously like Alissa did. At the end of the day, whether it was serious or not, I loved basketball, even though Alissa always kicked our asses at it.

When we were burned out, the three of us made our way back to my apartment, laughing.

"I'll hand it to you, girl," Clay said, "you know how to work those balls."

Dead.

"Clay!" Alissa slapped his arm, but she didn't even hide the grin on her face. "You're so nasty."

"In all the right ways," he made sure to include.

The thirst.

But I had to admit, Clay was pretty good with his hands. He gave amazing handjobs, but Alissa didn't need to know that.

The two continued chatting back and forth while I walked ahead of them. I wanted to get home and take a shower and wash my hair. I hated sweating because it always messed with my look, so I couldn't wait to fix this mess.

Clay halted in his steps when he read a text he got, and Alissa and I stopped to face him.

"What's wrong?" Alissa asked.

Clay glanced up with his whole focus on Alissa. Yup. I was the third wheel, and they weren't even dating. "I have to go. I have to help my mom out at the daycare."

Clay's parents owned a daycare, and it was pretty popular among the parents here at Shirley Heights. They were in high demand. Too bad that demand included Clay.

"Mason bailed on her for a date."

I wasn't surprised. Even in high school, Mason, Clay's older brother, never seemed that reliable to begin with, always backing out of promises and changing his mind left and right. At least he was better than Gray, Clay's eldest brother. That guy was a douche, always acting all tough and shit. Then again, Clay was a much better person in general than both of his brothers. Too bad his parents didn't seem to think so.

"So you have to pick up the slack," I concluded, and Clay nodded.

"If I want time to take a shower and look decent, I need to leave now. I can't be too late, or my mom will kill me. Mason or Gray can be late, but god forbid I do the same thing." Clay grinned. "But you know me—"

"You're always late," Alissa and I finished for him.

"More reasons why my parents think I'm hopeless." Clay's expression fell slightly, and I frowned.

"Your parents still hard on you, Clay?" Alissa curled her lips into her mouth after asking the question on both of our minds.

Clay shrugged. "Gotta prove them wrong, right?" He sent us a smile.

"Damn straight." I pounded Clay's fist.

Even though Alissa's shoulders slacked slightly, she still said, "We'll see you later, Clay."

"Yeah," Clay said, pulling her into a hug, and she relaxed in his arms. It was kind of cute, but I wasn't going to say that out loud. When they pulled away, Clay moved to pull me into a side hug. "See you later, man."

I nodded when we pulled away, and Alissa and I watched him walk to his car.

Once he was out of sight, Alissa turned to me. "Can we go back to the court?"

"Why?"

She stared at me with her jaw dropped. "How could you forget? I can't believe I almost forgot, too." I tilted my head to the side, confused. "In high school, after every game of basketball, you, Clay and I would sit on the court and just talk."

My eyes widened when it hit me. "Oh, yeah! Our 'unwinding' time."

Alissa nodded. "Camila was the one who told us to make it a tradition after she and Arya came over to watch us play that one day. God knows where Honoka was."

"Probably with Gavin," I joked, making Alissa snicker.

I was playing. Even though Honoka had a crush on Gavin in high school, I doubted she actually had the guts to approach him back then. Plus, group didn't like Gavin and Aaron in high school, for obvious reasons.

"Let's go." Alissa grabbed my arm and led me back to the court. She was pulling me to run, making me sweatier.

I groaned even though I actually wanted to do our little "tradition." Camila was big on traditions, and she started almost all the traditions our group had. Thinking about her made my mood deflate, and I tried shaking the feelings off, but they wouldn't go.

Even when Alissa pulled me down to sit on the court with her, the dread stayed. Alissa laid her legs out and leaned back on her hands while I lifted my knees up and rested my arms on them, making sure to hold my right wrist in my left hand. We stared ahead silently while I remained consumed by my thoughts.

It was all hitting me full force. I may have had a great day with Alissa, Clay and Honoka, and I may have had a breakthrough with Darian last week, but I was never going to get to do those things with Camila. Arya still hated me, but at least I could see her, even if it was from afar. At least, she was still here.

Camila wasn't.

She hadn't been here since Tou-san's SUV crashed, with all seven of us in the car and me behind the wheel.

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* What do you guys think? Did you expect the Clay and Kenji thing?

* Vote and comment if you want. I'll really appreciate it. :)

* Song is "Tuscan Leather" by Drake.