"All of you are idiots!" Arya yelled, making Alissa narrow her eyes at her while Honoka watched her carefully.

        We, the boys, stared speechlessly.

        "You keep talking and acting as if everything is normal," Arya said. "You act as if those two years never happened. You act as if Camila didn't die in that accident!" Her breath hitched at the last part. "You keep forgetting that things aren't normal, and that the accident did happen. Camila did die. Our best friend is dead.

"We'll never see her or hear from her again no matter how many memories you guys bring up or how many times you talk about her. She's gone. And it's all his fault." She pointed an accusatory finger at Kenji, who kept his head cast down. "This bastard killed our friend!" Honoka's indifferent expression was gone. Replaced with something else.

        Anger.

        But Arya didn't stop. Girl was just starting. "He killed her. Darian abandoned us for those two goons." I had to stop myself from cringing at the nickname they gave me and my friends. Man... Of course, Darian's name had to spring up somewhere. "Alissa and I left. God knows what happened to you three Honoka, Kenji and Clay. Either way, I don't give a damn."

        "Arya..." I warned. She had said enough. Like, five minutes ago.

        "No." She glared at me. "I'm going to say what I have to say." Her attention returned to the others, and I watched her, stunned. "The truth is, things have changed. They'll never be the same again. Our life before the accident. Our friendship before the accident. Who we were? They've all changed. They even changed before that thanks to some people." She jerked her head in my direction.

        Why was she hating on me? I was her fucking ride.

        "I'm sick of you guys talking and laughing as if everything is okay," Arya continued. "It'll never be okay. We'll never go back to the way things were before. It's best if you stop trying."

        Arya finally took in a deep breath before releasing it, watching the others. Silence fell over the room after she stopped talking as we sunk in her words.

        Man, Arya. Why?

        "Like I said before," Alissa said, finally breaking the silence, "you're unbelievable."

        "And like I said as well." Arya's eyes flickered from Alissa to Clay to Honoka. "Have a nice life. I just don't want to be a part of it." Honoka scoffed, and Arya shifted her attention to Kenji, who was staring down at his cup of Pepsi. She slit her eyes. "I'll say it again. Rot in hell, Kenji."

        Why the fuck did I invite this girl?!

        "Okay, that's it!" Honoka stood up so fast from her chair she almost knocked it over. Shit was about to hit the fan. "Get out!" Honoka hollered with a finger pointed at the door. Her eyes were fixed on Arya as a prominent vein pulsed on her forehead. "I want you out of here, Arya." Arya crossed her arms with a smug smirk. "I don't know what the hell you're smirking at, but I'm not going to allow you to disrespect me and my brother in our own apartment. No one talks to Kenji like that. No one. So the door awaits you." Honoka's arms fell, and both girls stared at each other. "Now."

I took what I said previously back. Shit didn't hit the fan. Shit was ricocheting from the walls.

Honoka's didn't back down, and she kept her hard expression. Clay gulped thickly while Alissa watched the scene beside him. Kenji finally looked up with pure distraught crossing his features, which made a jolt of rage rush through me. I glared at Arya.

        "Leave," Honoka said, her tone making me scared. "Did I stutter, Arya?"

        I grabbed my cellphone and car keys before jumping up to my feet. "Come on," I said, grabbing a hold of Arya's arm.

        "Ow!" she shrieked while I dragged her to the door. "Take it easy, you ass."

        My grip was firmer than necessary, and even though I was pissed, I loosened my hold. "Don't even talk right now. We're leaving. Because of you. So be quiet."

        "If they can't handle the truth, that's their problem," Arya retorted while we put our shoes on.

        Honoka turned on her heels to face Arya with the blankest expression. Arya and I paused.

        "You have always been my least favorite," Honoka said with a surprisingly calm tone. "Now I know why."

        My jaw dropped, and Kenji's eyes bulged out.

        "Damn..." Clay voiced my exact thoughts.

Shit.

Even I felt that burn.

        I didn't miss the hurt that flashed over Arya's face. It only lasted for less than a second because she soon furrowed her eyebrows instead. "Fuck you, Honoka." Arya's eyes traveled to the others as well. "Fuck all of you!" she screamed.

        "Oh, get out," Alissa said. "Why are you still here?"

        Geez.

Girls were vicious.

        Arya huffed and walked past me, finally leaving. I sent the others an apologetic look and held brief eye contact with Kenji before running after Arya.

        "Arya!" I called out as she ran down the stairs and headed for my car. "Arya. Wait up." I increased my pace and grabbed her arm to spin her around to face me. "Can you stop?"

        I held onto her arms when she tried struggling out of my grip. "Let go of me, Darian." I released her, but the tension didn't loosen from my jaw.

        "How dare you?" I said through clenched teeth as she crossed her arms, avoiding my glare. "I asked for one favor. One fucking favor, and you had to mess it up. You couldn't be nice or the very least fake it for a couple hours?" I was boiling with rage, and Arya continued to not look at me, pissing me off more. "Look at me for fucks sake!" She reluctantly did. "Thank you!" That didn't mean I was done with her. No. Not by a long shot. "I've always known you were selfish, but I never knew it was this bad. Those two years made you worse, not better."

         "I'm sorry, Darian," she said, her eyes holding sincerity. "I'm sorry I ruined it for you. I'm sorry I'm so selfish and terrible. I'm sorry. You may be able to pretend and act as if things are all peachy between us, but I can't. I can't even fake it for you or for the others because that's not me. I say it like it is, and this is how I feel right now. I can't lie to myself, not even for you, and I'm sorry for that."

        My lips remained pressed in a hard line. I wouldn't get her off the hook that easily. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

        Arya sighed. "That's why it's best if I stay away from them. That way shit like this doesn't happen. My days of being their friend and them being mine are over. And it's for the best. I can't do this anymore. Now, I know why you left." I jerked my head back, confused. "Sometimes pulling away is the best thing." She shrugged before turning around and making her way to my car.

        I didn't stop her. I let her go, but I remained glued where I stood. I partially understood where she was coming from, but just because she was so quick to let the others go didn't mean I was—especially when it came to Kenji.

        No. I would never let Kenji go. Not again.

        So after I dropped Arya off to her house, I headed back to my apartment and texted Kenji.

I was half joking and half serious. Even though it was more for me, I wasn't expecting much from Kenji with this friends with benefits agreement. For all I knew, it really could be only about the benefits to him. Our relationship changed a lot over the years, and even though we didn't hate on each other anymore, that didn't mean I was important in Kenji's life again.

        I lost that privilege a long time ago, and only I were to blame.

        Kenji didn't reply.

        I decided to smoke a cigarette to get some of the edge off from the day. That way, I could fully relax when Kenji came over. Reminding myself that he was coming over made me use some Febreeze to eliminate the smell of smoke. I couldn't have him turned off by it. After that, I sat on the couch, tapping my right foot continuously on the floor.

        Where was he?

        When doorbell rang, I sprang to my feet, opening the door in a heartbeat. "Hey!" I greeted happier than I was supposed to, and Kenji raised a brow.

        "You're acting as if Arya didn't just go berserk and make a scene a couple hours ago," he said while removing his shoes at the entrance. I closed the door behind him.

        "Don't let her get to you." We sat on the couch. "She may have turned against you, but some of us are on your side. Like me." I smiled at him.

        "What she said hurts." Understandable. "But knowing I have one more person on my side makes it better." He returned my smile.

        "Exactly," I said, clasping my hand on his shoulder before leaning back on the couch. "So forget about her. She isn't here now, is she?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I quickly regretted it.

        My statement gave room to take things down a sexual path, and I loved sex as much as any guy, if not more, but I didn't want it at that moment. I wanted to chill and hang with Kenji since we didn't get to do so at that disastrous get-together.

        "Yeah, you're right," Kenji replied, and I waited for the transition. To my surprise, he said, "So, what do you want to do?" There was no sexual edge to his voice, and it took me aback.

        "U-ugh," I stammered, "w-whatever you want."

        Kenji's eyes moved around my apartment before landing on my stack of rap CDs. His expression brightened. "Those are a lot of CDs you've got."

        "Can't be slipping on my collection." I rested my arms behind the back of the couch.

       "I see." Kenji looked at me. "I've been into rap since freshman year of high school, but you definitely have me beat when it comes to seniority in the genre."

        "Damn, straight," I said. "Did you check out Vinnie Paz?"

        Kenji nodded. "Love him. His beats are sick, and he's a good lyricist."

         "Of course," I agreed. "Dude has a message. His raps are a social commentary." Kenji nodded in agreement. "And that's my biggest thing with artists. I mostly focus on the lyrics. The beats are unnecessary and are only added for the masses—like milk with Oreos. You don't really need milk. You just want it."

        "Unnecessary?" Kenji said, incredulously. "Now, you're taking it too far. I appreciate a dope beat. I can never like a song that doesn't sound good to my ears. If the lyrics are on point, too, even better. But I need my beat."

        I laughed at him while he nodded, emphasizing his point. "Oh, so you're one of those people? All about the beat and not fully appreciating the lyrical intelligence of the artist? Let me guess. You like Drake, don't you?" I was messing with him.

        "Now, don't hate on my boy Drake." He shook his head, raising his hand to stop me right there, making me laugh harder. "He has killer beats."

        "Of course, he does. That's why he sells. All these mainstream rappers mostly sell through their beats because so many people only appreciate music on a shallow level. They don't want to look deeper."

       Kenji playfully rolled his eyes. "Alright, Music Nazi."

        "If you really want good lyrics, check out Hopsin."

        "Who's that?"

        "He's my favorite rapper."

        "What?" Kenji said, astonished. "How amazing is this dude for him to be your favorite?"

        "Pretty great," I said. "Scratch that. Crazy talented. Hopsin is the shit. He's one of those good-guy rappers. He isn't perfect, but he holds himself to a standard, and he doesn't match the stereotype. I admire that about him. He has the talent and the attitude to back it up. He has a message. A message he carries out."

        Kenji stared at me. "How do you do that, Darian?" I chuckled. "You just made that shit deep."

        "That's one of the things I love about the genre," I said, turning my body to completely face him so I could hold eye contact with him. "Rap is one of those genres that people only glance at on the surface, and the majority of people focus on the mainstream or modern stuff. They don't dig into the raps from back in the day or check out the underground artists.

        "Most people don't know shit about rap, but they're quick to add their two cents and judge and criticize when in reality, rap isn't all bad. Like all genres, there are bad and good rap songs, and yes. Some songs have shitty messages. But there are ones out there that have some of the deepest lyrics. Those ones are being overshadowed by what people deem the 'bad' ones. Rap is criticized, judged and prosecuted without the majority of people looking deeper and giving it a chance.

"Rap and I have a lot in common in that regard. I've always been misunderstood, and people hardly gave me a chance growing up. Because of that I gave rap the chance I never got—a chance I don't regret one bit. But I don't blame those people who misjudged me. I don't understand myself either so there's no way in hell I'll expect others to understand me." I shrugged and returned to my original position with my hands behind the couch.

        Kenji watched me in awe. "You're right," he said. "You are misunderstood, and even I don't understand you anymore, if I ever understood you at all."

You don't, I wanted to say.

        I never gave him the chance to.

        "But just because I didn't before, doesn't mean I can't now," he added. "I want to understand you, Darian." It was his turn to fully turn his body to face me, with his eyes never leaving mine. "Let me understand you." He paused for a second as he seemed to contemplate something. "Let me help you understand yourself."

        I smiled as I watched Kenji in front of me, so confident in doing something I never succeeded in doing myself.

        "You can try," I told him.

        "Honoka said that's what I'm best at." I arched a brow. "Trying. She said I'm best at trying, even when everyone else has given up. I don't give up, Darian." His hand moved to rest on my thigh, more comforting than sexual. "I don't give up on anything or anyone." He squeezed my leg, a silent way of confirming that he was there. "And that includes you."

        He glanced up at me, with no sign of insincerity in his eyes. Those words and that expression made me feel the happiest I'd felt in a while. His hand stayed on my thigh.

        "I'm glad," I said. "At least you're not just using me for my body."

        We both laughed, lightening the serious mood. "Of course not," Kenji replied. "And to answer your previous question, no."

        I tilted my head to the side. "'No' what?"

        "You asked me if I 'needed more benefits'," Kenji said, and it hit me. Oh, that. "The answer is no." I placed my hand on top of his and ran my thumb across the back of it, and Kenji looked down at our hands. "I don't need more benefits." He peeked up at me, looking me dead in the eye. "I need more Darian."

I inhaled slowly, struggling to breath, but in the best way possible. His eyes told me he wasn't bullshitting and that made me grin so wide, my cheeks hurt.

To distract myself from making a fool of myself due to the emotions running through me, I told Kenji we should check out some of my CDs, and he gladly agreed. I chose G-Eazy's These Things Happen. He'd heard of G-Eazy before, but he never really checked him out, and let's just say I introduced him to another white rapper.

Even while we jammed out to the music, moving to it and me rapping along, my mind was preoccupied with what he had said. I couldn't stop myself from sneaking peeks at him and smiling like an idiot.

        Kenji wanted more Darian, so I was going to give it to him.

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* I'm so sorry for the late update! I was just so tired on Sunday after a hectic weekend, but I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.

* What do you think? Liking the progression of the pair's relationship? Liking their conversations? Share your thoughts through comments. :)

* Also, I have some semi-bad news. I'm changing the update schedule from three times a week to two times a week from now on. So I won't be updating on Sundays anymore. Only on Tuesdays and Fridays. That's still a lot of updates though. Am I right?

* Song above is "I Mean It" by G-Eazy