tw // self harm, suicide. this is the thanksgiving episode where monica tries kill herself. it's very graphic and i just wanted to give you guys a warning just in case.

★

THE LEAVES HAD STARTED to turn and fall off the trees months ago, but it never really occurred to Amara until the day before Thanksgiving, seeing as she finally had a moment to relax. She quickly pulled the pumpkin pie out of the oven, placing it onto the countertop next to the other desserts she made.

"Woah," Lip's voice rang out. "It smells so good in here."

"Thanks, it's all boxed though," Amara replied. "So don't give me too much credit. Hey, you gonna go back home for Thanksgiving or no?"

"Is that what all of this is for?"

"Well, yeah."

"So none of this is for your father or I?" Margot asked, stepping into the kitchen, and she tried to dip her finger into the icing on one of the desserts before Amara smacked her hand away with a scowl.

"No. Fuck you."

"Well that's no way to talk to your mother."

"Ah, well maybe you can look around and find where I asked?"

With an obvious glare at her daughter, Margot marched out of the room, and back up the stairs. "That was interesting," Lip commented. "I love seeing you tear her apart."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I don't know, okay? Probably not."

"Lip," she groaned. "You can't not go. Who are you gonna spend Thanksgiving with? My parents? I will drag you by the ear if I have to."

Lip rolled his eyes, before nudging her shoulder as he began to leave. "I have to go help Steve find his wife's boyfriend. See you later!"

"Huh," she muttered. "Never thought I'd hear that sentence in my lifetime."

★

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Was the greeting Amara recieved when she walked into the Gallagher household the next morning. She raised her eyebrows at the familiar face sleeping on the couch as she made her way into the kitchen, placing the desserts she made onto the table.

"I dig the turkey hats," Amara told both Fiona and Debbie, and the two girls grinned at her in response. Steve made an entrance from the living room, raising his arms into the air as he stretched.

"Morning Steve," Debbie greeted cheerfully.

"You know what, Debs? Let's make it official. No more Steve. From now on it's Jimmy."

"Okay, cool."

"Really?" Fiona asked, bewildered.

"Yup."

She raised her drink. "To Jimmy!"

"To Jimmy!" They all repeated, and Amara took a sip from her beer.

"And I'm gonna call you Jimmy pillow drool," Kev said, a smirk on his face, making the group laugh.

"Shut the fuck up," Jimmy told him. "I do not."

"No," Kev insisted. "I swear to God. This is you," he made a face. "Buhhhhhh."

"Lip say he's coming to Thanksgiving tonight?" Fiona asked Amara, who shrugged.

"I said I'd drag him here if he didn't, but he never actually gave me a straight answer. Don't worry, though. He knows that if I don't, I'll ruin his life."

"You sound like V," Kev told her. "Whenever I say I'm not gonna do something, she pulls out that card."

"Yeah," Veronica agreed. "He's not wrong. You and Lip are just one step away from making it official, you two practically fight like an old married couple already."

Ignoring what the statement did to her heart, Amara rolled her eyes. "I hope you know that you just referred to yourself as old."

★

"We are not having bald eagle for Thanksgiving!" Jimmy announced, walking in with a bag thrown over his shoulder. He dropped it onto the counter, the weight of it making the cups placed around shake.

"Whoa!" Carl yelled, rushing over for the turkey. "This thing's huge!"

"You're welcome, Tiny Tim," Jimmy told him with a grin.

"What're we supposed to do with this?" V asked, gesturing towards the eagle.

"Toss it?"

"Hell no," Kev answered. "Hunt it. Kill it. Eat it. That's hunter's code."

"Bullshit," Amara accused with a laugh. "You just made that up because you don't wanna eat turkey."

"Well, I'm putting it in the fridge," Kev pouted. "So shut the fuck up."
★

"Here we go!" Kev announced, placing the plate of turkey onto the table as the room was filled with cheers. Amara nudged Silvia who was sat next to her in excitement, and the younger sister beamed at her.

"Good job, baby!" Veronica enthused with a grin.

"Oh, I can't wait to get this turkey inside of me. All right, let's eat!"

The chaos started, and everyone hurriedly passed the food around the table. Amara quickly grabbed the mashed potatoes, piling a bunch of them onto her plate until Fiona kicked her leg from under the table.

"Stop hogging the potatoes!"

"They're good! No—Fi, stop!" Amara protested, as Fiona leaned over the table to grab the bowl from her hands with a smirk. "I hate you."

The laughter and chatting continued throughout the evening, but Amara found herself unable to ignore the elephant in the room, or technically what wasn't in the room. Lip hadn't shown yet, and although she tried playing it off that he was just late, she knew better.

A knock at the door made the room grow quiet, and confused. "I invited Conrad!" Debbie announced.

"Who?"

"The homeless guy from our pool. Is that okay?" Fiona looked like she was about to laugh, before she nodded, and Debbie ran to open it. "Everybody, this is Conrad!"

"Hi Conrad!" The group greeted cheerfully.

"Much better than bald eagle," Fiona stated, and the room was filled with laughter again.

"We're still eating that!" Kevin told her. "We're gonna roast it, bake it, fry it. I don't care."

"Bet it taste like chicken!" Carl mused.

"Could always have it for Christmas," Veronica suggested with a giggle.

"You want that ugly bald thing chilling in your freezer for a month?" Amara questioned. "Pass!"

There was an abrupt loud crash that sounded from the kitchen, making everyone share confused looks. "What was that?" Fiona asked, standing up, and the group followed her.

Amara gasped, her hands flying up to cover her mouth in horror. Monica laid there on the floor, her wrists slit open, blood covering the lower half of the cabinets and the floor.

"Give me a phone!" Fiona demanded, and Amara instantly pulled hers out of her pocket, and handed it to her as the eldest Gallagher called an ambulance.

"Come on, guys," Veronica ushered the three youngest out of the room. "Upstairs."

Jimmy immediately sprang into action, rushing to crouch in front of the bleeding woman. He grabbed a napkin off of the counter. "All right, we're good," he assured, his voice sounding panicked. "We're good. Don't worry. Towels! I need more towels. Somebody give me a fucking towel!" Ian quickly grabbed one from off the stove, throwing it to the older boy, before going back to stand with Amara.

"There's been an accident," Fiona told the person on the phone. "2199 North Wallace. She's bleeding badly."

★

Amara comfortingly placed her head on Ian's shoulder as they sat in the hospital. The waiting room was tense, and she was afraid to even say anything at all, not wanting to get snapped at. She'd never seen so much blood in her life, Amara nearly puked at the thought of it again.

"Why didn't Frank come?" Debbie asked, and Fiona shook her head.

"I don't know, Debs."

"Holy fuck—" Kev started, but he was interrupted by Jimmy.

"Dude, if you say that one more time I'm gonna throw you into the oven with that turkey when we get home."

"Okay, okay," Kev protested. "I'm sorry."

Fiona glanced over to Amara. "You try Lip?"

"Yeah, no answer. He probably still thinks I'm trying to force him to come to Thanksgiving dinner. I can try him again."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Please do."

Amara stepped into the hallway, putting her phone up to her ear. It rang once, before Lip surprisingly picked up. "Mar, I know I said I would go to Thanksgiving, but Karen is having her baby in the hospital right now."

"Oh my God," she replied. "Well, there's no easy way to say this but we're also in the hospital right now."

"What? Why?"

Amara sighed. "Your mom tried to kill herself at dinner."

"Jesus."

"Yeah, I know. See you soon." Amara walked back into the waiting room, where the group was stood. "I got a hold of Lip."

"You did? Where is he?"

"Karen's having her baby upstairs."

"Holy fuck!" Kev mumbled, before the ten of them made their way to the elevator, practically sprinting  the hallway to the maternity wing. They all quickly pulled on those weird ugly blue scrubs, and stepped into the room, just as Karen screamed in pain.

"More visitors!" Shelia said excitedly. Amara caught Lip's eye from across the room, and sent him a small, tired smile, before her and Ian both walked over to him. Lip wrapped one of his arm around each of their shoulders, as the chattering in the room continued.

"Oh great," Karen groaned. "Why not just have the whole fighting Illini marching band in here while we're at it!"

"Sorry I didn't buy any cigars, man," Jimmy said, and Lip shrugged.

"It's all good."

"That's right!" Karen snapped, wincing in pain. "You guys just fucking whoop it up while I'm here—Fucking fuck!"

"One more push, Karen," the doctor instructed, and the girl screamed in pain, but the room was filled with cheers as the baby was pulled out of her.

"Uh, doctor?" Another one of the nurses called, and the room grew quiet.

"Wait, what's wrong with him?"

"Why does he look like that?"

"He has down syndrome," Fiona explained gently.

"Yeah, and he's Asian," Lip realized, glancing over to Amara who was wearing a 'told you so' look on her face.

"Maybe we're just looking at him upside down," Kev commented, and Amara snorted to herself.

"What the fuck, Karen?" Lip snapped. "I thought you said it was mine!"

"I screwed Timmy Wong as much as I screwed you. I never said it was your baby. You just wanted it to be."

Lip clenched his jaw angrily, before spinning on his heel, and storming out the door. Nobody said anything, and the room was filled with an awkward silence, until Amara broke it.

"Well this Thanksgiving's been a disaster. Who wants pie?"

★