Streetlights and Long Walks
No matter where in the world Seojun had traveled, he could always tell he was home by the sound of feet on the pavement. Each step just had a different thud and crunch to it that it created its own unique cadence.
Sujin still had his hand in a vice like grip as they walked forward, their suitcases rolling behind them. While deep down, he really didn't want to let her go, his fingers had started to turn blue and he really needed them to work properly for his job.
Gently, he pushed Sujin's hand off of his. She was walking right beside him and he couldn't see her face when she let go. All he could see was her hair whipping in the air and her hand that she promptly placed in the pocket of her coat.
The district near the train station was a small, humble part of town. Under the purple night sky, the roads twinkled with streetlights and glowed under the warm light cast on the street from the parade of shops on each side. The shops were all painted white, the cheapest paint to find, and looked unkempt with their cracked walls and dirty corners. Poorly dressed people went in and out of these shops carrying miscellaneous items. A couple of children ran past by them, laughing. People could be heard arguing over prices.
As they entered deeper into the town, it opened up into a commercial area where the road was wider, cleaner and the shops were brighter. The hotel chains would be coming up soon after a right turn. Seojun was glad for it. They had walked a long way, having decided not to take a taxi lest someone recognize him.
Seojun was grateful that Sujin indulged in his paranoia. But he felt slightly guilty. She had been wearing heels and could tell they had started to pinch her feet. Still she marched forward like a general on a war path. Seojun could tell she was making note of each and every place they passed by.
"Recognize any of this?" She asked him.
Seojun nodded.
"How much of it has changed?"
Not much, really. Seojun shrugged. He could see some improvements here and there. But there was also wear and tear where there hadn't been when he was a teenager. The feel of the place was same, however. A small town where everybody knew everybody else and their business. Some of the people he saw seemed too polished to be local. They belonged to the posher upper side where the rich people like Changmin lived in tall mansions. The rich only came down here to either visit some clubs or go to school; the latter of which which happened to be situated right in the middle like a convergent for people from various corners to gather together.
Seojun moved to turn right but Sujin kept moving forward. "The place we're staying at is this way." She said, not stopping for him. Seojun nodded and followed.
People kept giving them strange looks. Certainly, a woman dressed in expensive, dark clothes and a man with his face hidden behind a mask and sunglasses painted a suspicious picture. Seojun pulled at his hood further down his forehead, feeling self-conscious.
They turned a corner that led up a winding path. Seojun walked blissfully till they passed by a very familiar streetlight where he remembered parking his bike when he wanted to hide it from his mother. And the brick walls that he used to pass by in the mornings on his way to school. And the smell of kimchi and dirt that came from the neighbor's home.
Wait...
Seojun grabbed Sujin's hand. She kept her face very still. Too still.
"What?" She asked innocently.
Nearby, a gate opened and closed. Seojun would never forget that sound; the creaking of the hinges that begged to be oiled, the rusty iron that clanged when the gate was pulled shut.
They were near his home. Just around the house in front of them, he would come to the familiar blue gate of his childhood home.
This damn woman...
Seojun made a run for it. But he couldn't get far, not even an inch because as soon as he turned, Sujin wrapped her arms around his waist.
Through gritted teeth, she said, "Your mother is expecting us." She pulled Seojun back with all her strength.
"No." Seojun said, struggling against Sujin's grip.
"You can't just go home without visit your mother!" She tried dragging him to his home but Seojun grabbed the pole of the streetlight for support.
"No!"
"Let go, you big baby!"
"Let me go!" Seojun hugged the pole. He was lucky there was no one around to see this debacle. Sujin kept pulling while Seojun kept himself stubbornly wrapped around the pole.
"Let go!" She ordered.
"I'm not going home."
"I've already called your mother."
Seojun gasped, "You traitor!"
"You coward!"
"I'm not going home!"
"Why the hell not?!" Sujin gave up pulling his waist and instead pulled his feet up in the air by his ankles.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Seojun yelled.
"Oh honey, you haven't seen crazy yet. LET. GO!"
"Seojun?" The small, female voice cut through Seojun and Sujin's fight. The pair froze, Seojun with his arms hugging the pole and Sujin with her hands pulling at Seojun's legs, lifting half his body in the air.
"Mrs. Han?" Sujin recognized the voice from the phone call she had made before leaving.
"Oh my... Seojun, is that you?" The woman came forward, her face bewildered at the right. Sujin gently put Seojun's feet back on the ground. Seojun let go of the pole.
His mother had aged quite considerably. Her hair had grown white where it was once black and beautiful. Her face had new wrinkles and she hunched over a little like old people usually did.
It made Seojun want to cry when he realized that he hadn't been home for so long. But he knew it had been necessary. His mother had suffered enough humiliation because of him. He knew the only way to stop that torment was to move out and let his townsfolk pretend he hadn't existed.
The only contact he had maintained over the years with his mother and sister had been through letters. The last time he had seen her was when she had come over to stay at his flower shop and Seojun couldn't even remember how long ago that was. Gowon might still have been in school then.
All these years of separation were wasted now. All of the careful considerations and years and years of keeping his distance gone. Everyone would know he was back. Everyone would be back for a little vengeance over the death of the boy people barely knew.
And it was all Kang Sujin's fault.
"Hello Mrs. Han. I'm Kang Sujin. We spoke on the phone." Sujin held out her hand but Seojun's mother ignored it, walking towards Seojun as if in a daze.
"I'm right aren't I? You're Seojun-ah? You're my boy?" She looked at Seojun pleadingly.
Seojun took off his mask and sunglasses, revealing his pierced face. His mother started crying.
"It is! Its Seojun! Gowon!" she called to her daughter, "Gowon, come out! He's here!"
"Ugh Eomma, what is it?" A young woman, bearing a resemblance to Seojun, came out with half of her head covered in hair curlers. "I don't have time for—OMO SEOJUN!" She squealed at the sight of her brother. She hugged him desperately while her mother just watched. "Seojun, is it really you?"
Seojun nodded, hugging her sister back.
"Its him, isn't it?" Mrs. Han said, too afraid to touch Seojun lest he turn out to be an apparition. Seojun held out an arm and his mother wrapped both her children in a massive hug. "I can't believe you are here. I thought I would never get you back."
Seojun hugged the most important women in his life. He couldn't deny how starved he had been for the company of his family. For a moment, he felt like there was nothing wrong with the world.
He didn't see Kang Sujin leaning against the wall, watching the happy family reunion with a closed off look. She quietly rolled her eyes at the over-emotional affair. She wouldn't be caught dead weeping for anyone like that. No one in her family would ever show such an unbecoming display of emotion. It was beneath them.
Her parents would never sob like Mrs. Han was sobbing. Especially not her father, whom she only saw a couple of times a year and that too because he had some agenda he wanted to fulfill through her. He couldn't even be bothered to pretend that he missed his daughter. Sujin was glad for it, because being hugged like that wasn't her thing. No siree. Sujin would have hated that.
The trio held each other for a very long time, all the while Sujin tried to appear busy on her phone. She tuned out the sounds of Mrs. Han inquiring about her son, asking him about his health and berating him for being too skinny and not eating enough. She tuned out the whining from Seojun's sister about Seojun being gone and her feelings like an only child. She did however, take notice when Gowon asked, "Who's the woman?"
Sujin looked up at the younger sibling. "Annyeong. I'm Kang Sujin."
The sister didn't like Sujin by the looks of her face. Sujin didn't blame her. Lots of people didn't like her.
"Oppa, who is she?"
"Its rude to not return a greeting. Don't you know?" Sujin said commandingly.
Seojun's mother stepped forward, "Forgive her, she's still young. I'm Han Mihyang. You must be Sujin?"
"Yes. It is good to meet you in person, Mrs. Han." Sujin said with the practiced humility and politeness of someone with good breeding. She bowed to the woman. "How have you been?"
"Omo, how well mannered you are!" Mrs. Han said. Seojun rolled his eyes. "I am good, child. How was your journey?"
"It was well, ma'am. Thank you for asking."
"I think my son gave you some trouble though. Didn't I see you two fighting just now?"
"Uh..." Sujin blinked, embarrassed at being caught, "I apologize. I can get a bit—"
"Oh no, no! I don't mind at all. This boy of mine," she smacked Seojun's head gently, "needs some discipline. Is he still riding that dangerous death trap of his?"
Sujin choked back her laughter, "You mean his bike? Yes, I've seen that around."
"You promised me you would stop." Seojun's mother eyed him.
Seojun pouted indignantly, "Ah-nee, how can I not ride what I own? Riding the bus is a waste of money."
Sujin choked back more laughter. What a soft boy he is when he's around his mother.
But Seojun's mother had frozen. Gowon too seemed shocked. Sujin looked at the two in confusion.
"You can talk?!" Both Han women said at the same time.
"Am I not supposed to?" Seojun asked.
"Omo. Omo, omo, omo." Seojun's mother took him in his arms again. "I can't believe I am hearing your voice again." She pressed Seojun to her and the crying fest began all over again. The women wrapped themselves around Seojun who looked a little lost now, unable to explain how he could suddenly talk when before words had eluded him.
He eyed Kang Sujin who went back to her phone, typing aimlessly till Seojun's mother and sister were done fawning over him. Almost fourty minutes had passed before they all finally went inside Seojun's home.
"Sorry about my family. They can get a bit emotional." Seojun said to Sujin quietly as they entered through the rusty blue gates.
"They haven't seen you in a while. Of course they're emotional." Sujin said. "Also never apologize for your family. You don't see me apologizing for mine."
"Why would you need to—"
"Okay!" Han Mihyang interrupted. "Lets get you all settled in. Seojunnie can take his old room. Gowon, take Sujin to your room."
"Ah, wae?" Gowon whined. "My room's already so tiny!"
"I will be staying in a hotel, Mrs. Han." Sujin informed, "I've already made arrangements—"
"Nonsense! You'll be staying with us." Han Mihyang said kindly. "I won't have you eating that tasteless hotel food. Come, let me show you to your room."
"But Eomma, she has a hotel." Gowon argued.
"Shush." Mrs. Han reprimanded in the most gentle way. It surprised Sujin, who had only ever been shouted at when she had argued or whined.
Sujin grabbed her suitcase and let Mrs. Han lead the way. Gowon nudged her brother in annoyance.
"Who is she?"
Seojun thought about it. How could he describe Kang Sujin? "She's someone I work with." Seojun explained. But Gowon was more interested in the fact that he was actually speaking again.
"Woah. Its so weird to hear you talking again."
Seojun raised a brow. "Why ask a question when you don't expect an answer."
"Dunno. I wasn't the one who just suddenly stopped talking."
"Ugh, you're still such a brat." Seojun took Gowon in his arms and began messing up her hair.
Gowon squealed in his grip, "Oppa! You're ruining my hair!"
"Is that any way to greet your beloved brother?" Seojun laughed.
"OPPA! Eomma look at what Seojun is doing!"
In Gowon's room, the women chuckled as they heard Gowon and Seojun fighting.
"Lively girl." Sujin commented as she put her suitcase away.
"She's lively because Seojun's here." Han Mihyang explained as she set up the floor mattress for Sujin. "She's usually so busy with her idol training that I rarely see her. Its nice having so much noise in the house again."
"Thank you for having us again. I was nervous when I first called you. I didn't know if this was appropriate."
"Nonsense. I am grateful you brought my son out to see me. I was always afraid of visiting him because he never seemed to like it. And he was always so quiet..." The woman suddenly took Sujin's hands in hers, "Tell me. When did my son start talking? What happened?"
Sujin thought about it. She remembered the first time she heard Seojun talk. But she wasn't sure that it was the first time he had ever spoken.
"I'm not sure Mrs. Han. He only speaks to me when I annoy him. Beyond that he only speaks sparingly."
"But he speaks normally now? Does he have friends? Forgive me for badgering you, but you must understand. Seojun had completely stopped talking back in high school. He wouldn't speak a word no matter what I said. I took him to so many doctors, psychiatrists even. He just wouldn't speak. You can't begin to understand what it feels like to hear his voice again." The woman started weeping and Sujin looked at her in panic. She didn't know what to do with people in need of consolation.
Awkwardly, Sujin patted the woman's back. Mrs. Han took that as a sign that Sujin wanted to hug her so her wrapped her arms around the young woman. Sujin's eyes widened in further panic.
Sujin didn't know what to do. The only people she normally hugged were her mother and Lee Suho. True, she had had friends back in high school that she had been close with, but none of those friendships had lasted beyond that time. Robotically, she reciprocated Mrs. Han's kind gesture and wrapped her arms around the woman.
"Don't worry Mrs. Han. Seojun is doing much better now. He also has a lot of friends." Sujin would have told the woman about Seojun's shop, but she didn't want her to find out about the recent scandal. So she kept quiet and let the woman weep.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know what's come over me. My boy is so special to me, you see. I still can't believe he is back. This all feels like a dream."
"I assure you, ma'am. This is very much a reality." Besides, people don't dream of me. They have nightmares.
"Thank you." The woman wiped her tears. "By the by, you explained to me that you worked with my son. What exactly do you do?" The woman eyed Sujin's expensive coat and suit.
"I am... uh, consulting him for his business."
"That small flowershop?" Mrs. Han's brows shot up. "There's consultation required for that sort of thing?"
Sujin chuckled nervously, "Well my company believes in helping small businesses as well as big conglomerates." Please don't ask me what company I work for.
"And what company do you work for, dear?"
Sujin sucked in her breath, "Move Consulting."
Normally when people heard that name, they started gushing over her company and flattering her with false praise. Sujin hated it when people did that. She herself didn't see the big deal. And apparently, neither did Seojun's mother who seemed to have no clue about Move Consulting.
"That's nice dear. And you work as a consultant there?"
"Yes, ma'am." Sujin said, not bothering to elaborate.
"I know a couple of shops here that could use the help. Your company should open up a branch here as well."
"I will let our management know, ma'am."
"Please stop calling me ma'am! We are past formalities, don't you think? Please speak comfortably." Seojun's mother said sweetly. Sujin felt a strange warm and fuzzy feeling in her heart that she had once thought was cold and dead.
"Alright then... Eomeonim." Sujin suppressed a smile.
Mrs. Han and Sujin emerged from Gowon's room only to find the siblings still fighting. Seojun held a phone over Gowon's head as she struggled to reach it from her small height.
"Give it back!" She said, jumping up in vain.
"Not until you tell me who the guy who's texting you is."
"He's none of your business! Give it!"
"Seojun, give Gowon her phone back." Mrs. Han scolded. But her scolding didn't feel like a scolding, more of a firm yet gentle command.
"But Eomma, she's texting some weird guy!"
"Weird guy! Yah, that's my boyfriend."
"Since when do you have a boyfriend?" Seojun looked scandalized.
"Since I grew up. Now give it!"
"Eomma, did you know about this?" Seojun lowered his hand and Gowon snatched her phone immediately.
"I've met him. Lim Juyoung is a perfectly lovely young man. You should meet him too."
"What... but, but, Gowonnie is just a kid."
"I'm old enough to drink, you know." Gowon huffed as she went to help her mother in the kitchen.
Seojun scratched the back of his head, perplexed. Since when had his cute little baby sister grown up so much?
"You haven't been here a while," Sujin said, "Things are bound to be different."
Seojun gave her a cursory glance. He was still mad at her for having tricked him into coming back home. Granted, he was glad to be back, but that didn't make his worries go away. He could still feel the looming threat of angry neighbors and pissed of ahjummas banging on his home gates threatening to ruin his family if he didn't leave.
"What?" Sujin bumped shoulders with him. He folded his arms in response. "Pfft. Are you throwing a tantrum?"
"I am not!" Seojun whispered, not wanting his mother to hear.
"Ah, he speaks." Sujin smiled. He hated that she could make him not-mad at her with just her smile. "Shut up, I hate you." Seojun declared.
"No, you don't." Sujin stated. A little shiver went down her spine as she recalled Suho telling her the same thing whenever she would declare she hated him.
"We shouldn't have come here."
"You expect us to visit your hometown and not visit your mother? Wouldn't that devastate her even more?" Sujin said in hushed tones.
"It's still better than—"
"Yah, what are you two whispering about? Come and help us set up the table." Gowon said from the kitchen. Seojun and Sujin went to help out Mrs. Han.
As they set up the plates on the tiny table, Seojun felt a little self-conscious. He had seen Kang Sujin's home, he knew the lifestyle she lived. Compared to that, his own house felt small and shabby. His table was only a quarter of the size of the table he had seen in her dining room. His house itself could fit into Sujin's living room. His rice bowls were worn and old with the whites yellowing and small cracks appearing in the painted design. The food too, Seojun felt, would have tasted far less appetizing than the haute cuisine Sujin must be used to.
He eyed her as his mother doled out the side dishes for her. "Have a lot," she beamed at Sujin. "You must be so tired from all that traveling."
Sujin smiled graciously and accepted everything offered. Seojun refrained from scoffing as he saw her eat delicately and daintily like a princess.
"Omo, what fine manners you have." His mother said. Both Gowon and Seojun rolled their eyes. Then looked at each other and almost chuckled.
Sujin gave Seojun a scathing look, before smiling to his mother. "Thank you, Eomeonim. You are very kind."
Seojun's mother chuckled and gave Sujin more side dishes.
"That's enough, Eomma. Leave some for me." Seojun said, stealing one off of Sujin's rice bowl.
"Yah, that's mine." Sujin growled at him.
"You have enough." Seojun quickly stuffed his mouth, feeling possessive of his mother's cooking.
"Omo, its so nice to have people who appreciate my cooking. Gowon here is always on a diet. She never eats."
"I'm training to be an idol." Gowon said proudly. "They're planning on debuting my group soon. So, I have to stay fit."
"You got scouted?" Seojun said, surprised at the news.
"Um-hmm." Gowon nodded with her mouth full.
"She wanted to follow in your footsteps." Mrs. Han said.
"Eomma!" Gowon protested, embarrassed.
"Oh, shush. Let me brag about you." The woman turned to Sujin and explained, "Seojunnie wanted to be an idol as a teen. He was a trainee too for a while. But then he moved to the city. So Gowonnie decided to follow in her big brother's steps instead."
"That sounds lovely." Sujin said noncommittally. She didn't miss how Seojun's mother skipped over the reason as to why Seojun left his dreams of being an idol. "I didn't know Seojun could sing." She said casually.
"Yes! He sings wonderfully." His mother beamed. Sujin looked up at Seojun with a glint in her eye.
Oh no.
"I would love to hear him sometimes." Sujin said, her voice measured. Seojun stared daggers at Sujin who suppressed an evil smile. Gowon looked from Seojun to Sujin and caught on.
"Why yes! Seojun-ah. Won't you sing for us tonight?"
"Eomma—" Gowon tried to intervene.
"I don't sing." Seojun stated.
"Oh, come on, not even for your mother?" Sujin said, flashing a faux innocent smile.
"No." Seojun said coldly. The mirth vanished from Sujin's eyes. Mrs. Han's smile faltered a little but she managed to keep it steady. Gowon glared at Sujin, looking much like her brother.
"Doesn't matter, we have work to do anyway." Sujin swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the feeling that she had crossed a line.
"Really? Wouldn't you rather rest?" Mrs. Han asked in concern.
"No time, Eomeonim. We have a lot of things to get done," Sujin looked at Seojun, "And only a week to do it."
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