♬ I wanna hold you 'til I die
'Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you 'til the fear in me subsides ♬

- "Sometimes When We Touch," Dan Hill

Jeongguk watched as the car that had Seokjin and Frank drove away from their house. He still couldn't process the information he received from them. Whilst he stood by the porch, he suddenly recalled the past events when he was the happiest with Taehyung. Somehow, he believed it would last forever, that no one would interfere their love for each other.

But he was wrong.

As the wind blows that made his delicate-looking locks fall by his obviously petrified face, the emptiness has been birthed in his heart. How could he possibly let go of Taehyung? How could he leave him in this situation? Why would it have to happen today, when his lover was bedridden?

When he came back to his senses, the first thing he did was lock the doors and close the windows. He also wrote a letter to their manager that they couldn't attend work for the whole week because Taehyung was unwell.

He prepared a basin of warm water and towel just incase Taehyung's body temperature rises and placed it on the side table by the bed. After that, he prepared porridge for the both of them. He do not have the energy to cook other food and he's sure Taehyung doesn't have an appetite. He had lost his own too.

He caressed Taehyung's face and hair so his facial expressions would be at ease. He would like to make him feel like he would never leave his side, not now that he'll be all alone if he does.

Not too long enough, rain came pouring down and it felt cold. Jeongguk managed to feed Taehyung a bit of the porridge but the older still doesn't have the strength to take more. Jeongguk made sure that the blanket was warm enough.

The night was still young but the only sound you could hear after the rainy afternoon were from the crickets. Jeongguk prepared their dinner and Taehyung felt a little better although he still was feverish and asleep. He once again fed the older and when he had enough, he took out the leftover and proceeded to change Taehyung's shirt and wipe his face using a towel.

The older was fast asleep but Jeongguk couldn't sleep and so he stayed in the living room for a while to clear his mind from negative thoughts. He saw a book he brought with him before and decided to just read that.

He managed to feel at ease while he held a book. He was in the middle of flipping the pages and scanning the words when someone stood before him. "What are you reading?" said a husky voice of a man.

Jeongguk was a little surprised. "You scared me, Tae. Why did you go out of our room? Do you need something? Do you feel better?"

Taehyung sat next to Jeongguk and placed his head on the younger's shoulder. "I feel a lot more better because I'm beside you now. Why are you here? You can't sleep? Don't worry about me, I'm alright now!"

Jeongguk let out a sigh as he placed the book on the table. "I'm relieved you are. Now, let's get back to bed."

Taehyung held Jeongguk's shoulder to make him sit still. "No. Let's stay here for a while. The weather became a lot more better. I just love the feeling after the long rainy afternoon. The air is a little humid in here. It's quite hot inside our room."

"Then, what do you want us to do?"

"Continue reading the book. I'm just going to watch you. Or... You could read it out loud for me so I can relate to it. I think that's a better idea. I just want to listen to your voice the whole day."

"But you wouldn't understand a thing! I've read almost half of it. It's a good read, actually. I said I will proceed to bed once I feel sleepy but the book made me much more awake."

"It doesn't matter. I go for your voice, not for the content of it. I feel so relaxed when I hear you speak. You make me calm down. What book is it anyway?"

"It's uh..." Jeongguk turned the front page to read the title but then he remembered something that's why he feels empty again. "It's... the book that your mother gave me when it was my birthday," Jeongguk trailed.

"Oh..." Taehyung let out. "You managed to take it with you too?"

"Yes," Jeongguk replied as he stood. He propped the book back to the shelf. "I think we should read the book the other day, Tae. You should rest. It's late already."

"You look pale, darling. Are you alright?" Taehyung said and went to Jeongguk to touch his face. The younger forced his smile as he stared back to Taehyung.

"I'm just worried about you. Now, come on. We'll take our rest. I'll sleep with you now," Jeongguk assured him and Taehyung pulled him by his waist to hug him.

"Are you sure, my love?"

Jeongguk was red when their faces were near each other. The same old feeling he had until now. How could he lay his eyes on somebody's perfect image? How lucky was he to get to look at him in the eye that close? "I-I am!" Jeongguk let out, staring back at Taehyung's daring eyes.

Taehyung threw his lips on Jeongguk for a quick peck. "I love you," he whispered slowly for Jeongguk to hear and feel them properly.

"I love you."

"Why do you want to go to the beach?" Jeongguk asked as he prepared their breakfast by the table. Taehyung sat still as he turned his eyes from the food to Jeongguk. Three days had passed since Taehyung had a fever and he's feeling a lot more better. Thanks to Jeongguk who took care of him and did every household chore for him.

Jeongguk placed the cooking pan in the sink and removed his cooking gloves. He wore off the apron he used and hung it by the hook. "It's been a while since we went near the sea! We never did when we moved here. I just want to experience watching the sunset with you again."

"Are you sure you do not feel sick anymore?" Jeongguk asked.

"I am! I swear!" Taehyung answered and Jeongguk gave him a look as he sat in front of him.

Tomorrow is the weekend. He received a letter yesterday that says by Sunday, someone will pick him up and he will go back home.

Home, you say? What actually will happen is that he'll be leaving his true home. After all, Taehyung was his real home. The only place where he felt comfortable and loved was this house and his lover.

"You really want to go?" Jeongguk asked him. Taehyung nodded like a child as he showed his smile. "Alright. Are we going just to take a walk?"

"What do you want to do by the beach?" Taehyung asked. Jeongguk was bewildered. The older's eyes went dark as he flashed a devilish smirk at Jeongguk. "How naughty you are Jeongguk? You do not think we'll actually going to do that?" Taehyung said while shaking his head. Jeongguk's eyebrows almost met.

"When do you want to do it? Daytime or nightti-"

"KIM TAEHYUNG!" Jeongguk yelled that made the older laugh. The younger glared at him while Taehyung teased him.

"Alright, alright. Let's eat. I'm just talking about swimming in the sea. What were you thinking?" Taehyung said as he stifled his smile and pretended to focus on his food.

Taehyung reached for Jeongguk's hand as they walk side by side by the shore, both admiring the beautiful ocean presented beside them. Although eye-catching, the scenery was never where Taehyung's eyes were fixated. He doesn't know where this gut-wretching feeling comes from but all he feels at the moment is that something was going on with the younger.

Jeongguk who was surprised by the sudden action of the older directed his eyes on him. They stopped walking for a while as Taehyung held his other hand. "Is there something bothering you?" His lover asked him but all he did was shake his head.

He's definitely thinking about what will gonna happen tomorrow. How sure is he that he's ready to go? How sure is he that he has the strength to leave Taehyung all alone? How sure is he that his lover would never follow him once he finds out that he's gone from their home?

He's so sick of running away. He's so sick of switching sides.

If he won't obey his father's words, Taehyung will be in danger. If he decides to stay, they will live their lives like they were criminals on the loose. Everything is messed up. He really has no choice but to give up his biggest source of happiness.

Oh, to be so in love like in dreams but be twisted in a harsh reality.

Jeongguk chuckled a little that brushed off Taehyung's worries away. The younger's laugh is the best sound he has ever heard. "I can't believe I'm going to live a life where everyday, I could walk the same sand with you," Jeongguk said and made sure his voice was cheerful enough but the sadness glistened in his eyes. In complete contrast, Taehyung's face has brighten up.

"Of course. We'll walk during our free time. We'd fill the cellar with different kinds of wine and bring a bottle here during our celebrations. We'll watch how the sun would slowly be devoured by the sea and I would kiss you underneath the moonlight and wish to every shooting star that would pass by that this lifetime shall not end," Taehyung blabbered as he eagerly wanted to experience every single word he said.

With tears forming in the corners of his eyes, Jeongguk once again nodded. He feels that the entirety of his conscience was being demolished and his heart was slowly crumpling up like a piece of paper. He would burst into tears any minute. He really do not like feeling this.

"Tae..." Jeongguk trailed, and Taehyung turned to his lover with his rectangular smile still flashed on his face. "Will you kiss me right now?" The younger continued.

Although confused, Taehyung chuckled and later on smiled at his darling. "Alright," he said. He pulled the younger by his waist as he stared directly at his face. Their chests were leaned together like it was meant for them to collide and to be glued. The sound of their heartbeats was on sync, like how the waves would meet the shore. This was meant to happen.

Taehyung filled the gap in between Jeongguk's lips, and the younger was so sure how it felt like.

It was just like how he dreamed it. It patched his broken heart. It was the thing he would like to experience over and over again.

The feeling of missing him quickly invaded his system. They are wrapped together but he wants to feel more of him. He knew all too damn well, that tomorrow will be the beginning of his misery, when he's apart from the only soul who he considers his significant other.

Jeongguk was still awake past 2 AM. He couldn't fall asleep when all he could think of was his depature later in the morning. He hasn't packed his things yet. He and Taehyung spent most of their time together that he had no time to secretly do it. He's just about to, now that Taehyung was a little drunk and asleep. He's thinking of writing a letter too before he leaves.

He caressed Taehyung's hair that fell on his beautiful face. The older was lain on his chest as he wrapped his arm around his younger's waist, a smile was still evident on his lips when he fell asleep thinking it was the happiest day of his life with him. Every moment with Jeongguk was the happiest.

Jeongguk tried escaping from Taehyung's warm wrap but then the older just tightened his hold more, his eyebrows knitting a little in his sleep. He almost chuckled when he saw it but then he refrained himself from doing so. He just kissed his forehead to make him feel at ease.

Since his movements should be limited, he just reached for his journal lying by the side table. He opened it and found the pen stuck to it and he started writing the things he wanted to say to Taehyung before leaving.

He had a very difficult time writing his words. Tears began rolling down his cheeks even before finishing his first paragraph. It's just so difficult.

This love is more difficult than he thought it would be.

After writing the letter he's about to leave to Taehyung, he slid the journal on the side table and he pulled the chain to turn off the lampshade. He properly leaned his head on the pillows and returned Taehyung his warm embrace.

He turned Taehyung's face in front of him and kissed the older's delicate lips. That was his goodbye.

It was already 5 AM when the alarm started ringing and Jeongguk was able to turn it off without Taehyung waking up. The older was now faced on the other side. This is Jeongguk's chance to get off the bed and do what he's supposed to do.

He wanted to prepare Taehyung's breakfast for the last time but he thought Taehyung might wake up by the time he's done and he won't be able to go, so he just silently took his suitcase and gave his last glance.

Not too long enough, his tears started escaping from his eyes again. It really was painful. A sight for sore eyes. He cannot believe he could just leave his darling during his slumber without having to say his goodbyes because he knew he would stop him from leaving.

He went downstairs wiping his tears as he held his journal while the other hand has the suitcase. He went to face the shelves in the living room that has the books he previously read. He tore the page where he wrote his letter to Taehyung and kept the journal in between the other books.

"I promise I'll be coming back to you, Taehyung," he whispered to himself. He let out a heavy sigh as he placed the note on the table. He slowly let go his thoughts about Taehyung as he made his way to the doorway.

That's when he saw Taehyung's mother, Celeste by the front porch.

"Mrs. Kim..." Jeongguk let out. Celeste smiled bitterly at him. She opened her arms to invite Jeongguk in a warm embrace. The gesture never failed to make Jeongguk bawl his eyes out again. "Let it all out, darling. It will be okay. I'm so sorry you both have to go through this."

They stayed in that position for a minute before Jeongguk pulled off. "They are waiting for you. I'll take care of Taehyung," Celeste said and patted Jeongguk's head. "This is not the end for the both of you. I know you'll eventually end in each other's arms. Consider this a break. We'll find a way for you to be together again, so don't be saddened."

"I'll be forever grateful that you accepted our relationship, Ma'am. I will never forget that something like this happened even if it didn't last. Wanting was enough. To experience to be loved by Taehyung, for me it was enough. I do not wish him harm that's why I think it's best for us to end like this," Jeongguk replied and forced a smile to form on his lips. "Please tell Taehyung that I love him more than anything else."

Jeongguk gave his last bow in front of Taehyung's mother. "I'm leaving first, Mrs. Kim. Please take care too."

With that, Jeongguk started walking away.

He willingly rode the car that had his father's personnel and the moment he sat in the backseat, the car started moving away.

All he could think of that time was Taehyung.

Suddenly in the middle of the drive, he tried convincing them that he should come back even though it would do Taehyung harm. He knew the older would be hurt more if he leaves without bidding his goodbyes to him. The people who were hired by his father insisted that he shouldn't do this but that didn't made him change his mind.

With the strength he had, he pushed the man who was trying to stop him and pulled the driver by his arm. The car started moving left and right instead of just going straight. Everyone was put into danger because of Jeongguk's stubbornness.

Until...

Taehyung had felt something was taken from him. He felt something was pierced in his heart. He wasn't able to move or think properly after reading the note that Jeongguk had left him. He suddenly felt the need to sit down on the settee and let things sink in him calmly.

He almost wanted to cry, but he refrained himself from doing so. The sound from the turned-on television started distracting him from what had happened. But what he had witnessed on the screen even made him worse.

"Breaking news. The car that fell off of the cliff an hour ago has been identified. It appears that it belongs to the Jeon Family. According to the report, the car became out of control and so it crashed and fell by the sea. They are now searching for the bodies of the persons who were inside the car. On the other hand, Jeon Henri's son, Jeon Jeongguk was found along with their two personnel and they are now being rushed to the hospital, hoping they could still make it..."

A/N: Hello! I hope you take your time reading this chapter again as it has been updated. I will start writing the chapters that I was supposed to write before the Epilogue. I temporarily unpublished it. Happy New Year, everyone!

P.S: I can't believe this book is turning one year old tomorrow! Thank you for your support. We had reached 10K reads and 1K votes too! I couldn't have made it without you guys. I love you all ! (╥﹏╥)♡