Chapter 17 | Car

Everyone was confused as fuck. They obviously wanted answers from both of us but they were probably too anxious to ask either one of us.

Their eyes kept looking at me and then back to Marcus. I wasn't sure if Marcus already told them what we talked about... but maybe he didn't.

The day went awkwardly and the silence every time Marcus and I would cross paths was overly dramatic. Their fake coughs and deep sighs made me uncomfortable too.

The thing that Marcus told me about her mother and childhood kept repeating inside my head like a boomerang. I asked myself if my decision was really selfish to offend him that much.

I knew he had feelings for me, but he also said to himself that I wasn't responsible for it. Was I too... insensitive? But I only knew his story earlier. I didn't think that it would hurt him like hell.

My mind was flying all this time, I felt nauseous because of it. I couldn't do my job properly because my attention wasn't fully into it.

It was six in the evening when I received a call from my mother. I mindlessly picked up the call and signalled Kurt to continue what I was doing.

I went to a quiet part of the store to hear my mother clearly.

"Ian," she greeted me.

"Ma, napatawag ka..."

"Oo, kumusta na riyan?"

Bahagya akong napalingon sa labas at sumagot, "We're fine... the stores fine and lively. Kayo?"

"Ay nako, maayos naman kami rito. Christmas break na rin ni Aphro at katatapos niya lang mag-entrance exam sa unibersidad," balita sa akin ni mama.

Muntik ko pang malaglag ang phone sa narinig. Christmas break? Magpapasko na?

"For sure makapapasa si Aphro, baka kapatid ko 'yan," I smiled.

My mother chuckled, "Oh siya, kaya ako tumawag dahil nagpadala na ang tita mo ng pambili para sa mga inaanak niya rito. Nakuha ko na kanina kaso hindi ako umabot para ipadala sa 'yo sa Palawan Express."

"Oh?"

"Uutusan sana kitang mamili sa Divisoria ng mga regalo bukas. Isara ninyo muna ang karinderya. Hindi ba't pinabilang ko sa 'yo ang kita noong nakaraan? Kumuha ka muna roon ng sahod nina Kurt at nay Feran... doon ka na rin kumuha ng pamasahe mo para bukas," bilin ni mama.

"Ah, sige, ma. Bukas na ako agad mamimili? Tapos ipapadala mo sa umaga 'yong perang pambili?" I clarified.

"Oo. Hindi ka ba aware na magpapasko na, Ian? 19 na ngayon, aba. Masyado ka yatang sinipag magtrabaho nitong nakaraan? Balita ko nga mga gwapo pala ang kasama ninyo riyan—"

Nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa narinig at medyo napalakas ang boses sa pagsagot.

"Kanino mo naman 'yan narinig, ma?" tawa ko, "kay Kurt? Alam mo naman 'yon. He tends to exaggerate normal things."

"Oh siya, mabuti rin pa lang tumawag ako. Hinihintay ka nga naming tumawag o hindi kaya'y umuwi kahit noong weekend kaso mukhang busy kayo riyan," mom added.

"Uuwi na ako, ma, sa 21 or 22... depende kung kailan matatapos ang research ng mga lalaking 'to," I informed her.

After the call, I went back to my work where Kurt was also currently standing. His look was obviously asking me so I told him about tomorrow.

"Tumawag si mama, inutusan niya akong mamili ng mga regalo bukas sa Divisoria. Bali sarado tayo bukas ng buong araw," balita ko sa kanya.

Kurt's expression remained the same as he listened more on my explanation, "I'll claim the money tomorrow morning, then diretso na ako sa Divisoria. I bet it'll be crowded. Hindi ko man lang napansing magpapasko na pala."

"Ikaw lang mag-isa? Sasamahan na kita, tanga-tanga ka pa naman," pang-iinsulto niya at sinabayan pa ng irap.

"Wow, thank you."

Kurt glared at me again as if he wanted to tell me something. I disregarded him and called nay Feran instead. I informed her the same news I told Kurt. I excused myself to get her monthly salary. As I was counting the money, Kurt went inside.

He seemed bothered by something but I was too focused on counting to acknowledge his actions.

Hinayaan ko lang siya roon at muling binalikan si nay Feran upang iabot naman ang kanyang suweldo.

"Sasabihin mo na rin ba sa research boys 'to?" Muling sumulpot si Kurt sa aking tabi.

I made a face. "Malamang. Call them to come near."

"Ano ako, megaphone?"

"Malakas naman boses mo so bagay 'yan sa 'yo," pang-iinsulto ko rin.

He rolled his eyes once more and shouted to get their attention. Even the customers inside were flustered for a while because of Kurt's voice. I knew he'd do great, his voice could even wake up the dead.

"Lapit kayo saglit dito, mga beh! May sasabihin si boss Mercian!"

Napasampal na lang ako sa aking noo. Boss pa nga, baka isipin ng mga tao rito may iba pa kaming negosyi bukod sa karinderya.

"What's up?" Daniel was the first to approach us.

Jaren followed and playfully inquired, "Are you going to tell us why Marcus is acting like a crybaby?"

I took a deep breath and jokingly closed my eyes as if I was meditating. When I opened both of my eyes, they were finally complete in front of me.

Marcus was standing behind Cadne and wasn't looking at me. His head was hanging low and seemed bored.

"Uh... bukas sarado muna tayo," wala sa sarili kong anunsyo.

All of them had their individual reactions and side comments but I was busy waiting for Marcus' to notice them all. I saw nothing from him that made me avert my gaze away from him.

Did I really mess him up?

I gulped before I continued, "Mamimili lang kami ni Kurt ng Christmas presents sa Divisoria bukas kaya sarado. Magpapasko na rin kasi kaya inutusan ako ng mama ko. By the way, hanggang sa 21 na lang kayo... tama?"

Daniel nodded and the rest followed.

"Hindi naman siguro makaka-apekto ang isang araw na walang pasok sa research ninyo, 'di ba?" I asked, concerned.

"No, not at all," Daniel assured me, "besides, tomorrow can be our rest day or whatever."

His eyes quickly glanced at Marcus' side and immediately went back to me. I had nothing more to say so I nodded.

"Nice, then," I commented.

Kurt wrapped up the discussion for me and eventually everyone went back to their places. Even at the last second my eyes were on him. I waited for him to steal a glance of me but nothing happened.

He seriously played his role to ignore me and distance himself from me perfectly.

I didn't know what had gotten into me but I kept doing things to test Marcus. Even Daniel asked him to give me the dirty dishes like before, but he refused. He gave Daniel a deadly stare that made Daniel quit messing around.

Parang tanga lang dahil ako 'tong nagsabing lumayo kami sa isa't isa pero ako rin ang may balak na magpapansin ngayon.

We were now cleaning the store, others went home after they finished their parts—ako, si Kurt, Cadne, Marcus at Daniel na lamang ang natira.

I saw Marcus tying a garbage bag and I knew he was about to throw it outside. I remembered Kurt doing the same thing back in the kitchen. I immediately went back there and grabbed the garbage bag from him.

"Ako na rito," I said, which confused him.

"Akala ko ba ayaw mong nagtatapon niyan?"

"Ako na nga, 'di ba? Wala na akong ginagawa. May mga plato ka pang pupunasan," pagrarason ko.

Sinubukan kong buhatin ang garbage bag ngunit mas mabigat pala ito kumpara sa dala ko noon. Hindi ko pinahalata kay Kurt na nahirapan ako dahil baka nakawin pa sa akin ang garbage bag.

Dala ko ito hanggang sa paglabas. Sigurado akong mas mukha pa akong basura kaysa sa dala. Hindi maayos ang tali ng aking buhok at ramdam ko pa ang aking pawis sa likod. Dapat talaga ay magbibihis na ako ngayon ngunit dahil pumasok itong ideya sa aking isip, hala sige.

"Oh, need help, Ian?" Daniel asked when he saw me.

"Hindi na," agad kong tanggi dahil hindi naman si Daniel ang gusto kong tumulong sa akin.

Wala na si Marcus sa huli kong kita sa kanya kaya inisip ko na baka na sa tapunan na siya ngayon ng basura. Nagmadali akong lumabas dala ang mabigat na trash bag upang maabutan siya.

Sumaktong nanginig na ang aking mga kamay at braso nang nakasalubong ko siya.

May parte sa aking umasa na tutulungan na niya ako ngayon dahil nagtama na ang aming tingin. Inayos ko pa ang pag-iinarte para mas effective pero ang loko... nilagpasan lang ako.

Para akong nalantang gulay. Saglit kong binitawan ang dala dahil pakiramdam ko ay matatanggal na ang mga braso ko sa aking katawan.

Nakayuko akong lumingon at napaawang ang aking ibabang labi nang nakita kong walang preno siyang pumasok muli sa loob ng karinderya.

Sineryoso niya nga talaga ang usapan namin.

Mag-isa kong tinapon ang dalang garbage bag at kung anak nga naman ako ng kamalasan, ilang beses ko pang inulit dahil hindi ko ma-shoot ng buo. Muntik pa akong matangay sa loob sa bigat ng dala.

Hindi ko napansin kung gaano ako katagal doon ngunit nang bumalik ako sa karinderya ay sina Daniel at Kurt na lamang ang natira.

Napansin ni Daniel na hingal na hingal ako sa pagdating kaya naman ay kumunot ang kanyang noo.

"You want water?" he asked me.

"Yes, please. Grabe, ang bigat pala no'n!"

"Mas mabigat ka naman," mataray na komento ni Kurt.

Gagang 'to!

"Mukha ngang nahirapan ka kaya nagtanong ako kung kailangan mo ng tulong," halakhak ni Daniel at inabot sa akin ang kinuhang baso ng tubig.

I was drinking my water when Daniel continued, "But Lucre was there as well as I recalled so I thought he'd help you. He didn't?"

I rolled my eyes instead of answering him directly, which he immediately understood.

I looked around to find Marcus but there was no trace of him. Did he leave already?

Daniel's eyes narrowed and he stressfully brushed his hair. "What's up with you two anyway?"

I refused to answer.

"For sure may katangahan na namang ginawa 'yang si Ian," parinig ni Kurt.

"Ako agad?"

Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mga mata. "Sino pa ba? Ang ayos ng turing sa 'yo ng tao kaya paniguradong ikaw ang may pakana nito."

"Wow," I chuckled sarcastically, "mali bang ni-recommend kong medyo lumayo kami sa isa't isa?"

"What? Why did you say that?" Daniel laughed and that made me frown.

"Sabi ko na, e," Kurt followed, "alam mo na bang trending na naman si ate mo girl Mercian sa campus dahil sa ginawa niya noong nag-club tayo?" tanong niya kay Daniel.

"Ah, is that the root of the problem? I heard about it yesterday. Janella—wait, do you know Janella?"

"Oo," I drawled.

"Yeah... her. She's kind of a freak over Lucre so it's a big deal for her. Lucre doesn't care about her though and from what Cadne has told us, Lucre already talked to Janella about it yesterday," Daniel informed us.

"Anong sinabi ni Lucre?" Kurt curiously asked.

Daniel's shoulders shrugged. "Not sure," then he faced me, "just talk to him again if you want clarifications."

"Oo nga, hindi 'yong para kayong mga batang nagtatampuhan kaya 'di nagpapansinan," Kurt hissed, "tanda-tanda mo na tapos iyan lang ang kaya ng utak mo."

"Wow, sorry, ha? Kinabahan lang talaga ako dahil alam mo namang ayaw kong ako ang pinag-uusapan nila. Totoo rin namang walang kami ni Marcus. I already apologized to him for the trouble. Gets kong gusto niya ako at paniguradong nasaktan ko siya sa sinabi ko pero siya rin mismo ang nagsabing 'di ko siya responsibilidad," I vented out.

"Ouch," Daniel whispered.

Napailing na lamang ako at iniwan na silang dalawa upang magbihis ng ibang damit bago kami tuluyang umalis.

Nang natapos ako ay naabutan kong nagkukwentuhan pa sina Daniel at Kurt. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nandito pa si Daniel, hindi naman siya noon naghihintay sa amin ni Kurt.

"Tara na," yaya ko kay Kurt, "bakit nandito ka pa?" tanong ko kay Daniel nang tiningnan niya ako.

He smirked. "Just making sure you two will go home safe."

"Inutusan ka ni Marcus?" I absentmindedly asked while Kurt was pulling the gray metal gate protection.

"Hindi," Daniel immediately replied, "I just feel like I need to do this for his peace of mind."

I handed Kurt the keys to lock it at the bottom as I responded to Daniel, "Ang pangit ba talaga ng sinabi ko sa kanya?"

"Yeah," Daniel chuckled, "but this is just my opinion."

"But... it's for the both of us. Hindi na siya ma-iissue sa akin at gano'n din ako..." I trailed off.

"Sus, pero kanina ang papansin mo," singit ni Kurt na ngayon ay tapos na pala sa pag-lock.

"Huh?" pagmaang-maangan ako.

Marahas na pinitik ni Kurt ang aking noo na aking kinagulat.

"Kaya ka nabobobo, e."

"Aray, ha!" sigaw ko habang nakahawak ang kaliwang kamay sa noo.

"I think the rumor can cool down on its own even without commanding him to avoid you. If only you choose to not mind the opinion of others..." Daniel said lightly.

"Ito kasing si Ian napaka-sensitive sa opinyon ng iba kaya ang dapat dito sinasabihan ng mga direct to the point na salita kahit pa masakit. Hindi 'to matututo kung bini-baby," Kurt hissed once more.

"Hey, I know what I'm doing, okay?" I assured him, "siguro ay nadala lang ako sa narinig at nagsisi ako ng husto sa ginawa kaya iyon ang unang pumasok sa aking isip. I'll... maybe talk to him before your research ends. Bahala na."

"Sure ka bang alam mo ang ginagawa mo?" duda ni Kurt.

I heard Daniel's horrible laugh beside me that made me a bit annoyed. Thank God a tricycle finally went to us before I'd punch their faces. Daniel bid his good bye when we were finally inside the tricycle.

"Kailan ka pa naging close kay Daniel?"

"Oh, bakit? Selos ka? Close ko na silang lahat," Kurt teased.

"Hindi, 'no... ang saya niyo lang sa amin ni Marcus para ninyo kaming pinagkakaisahan."

Kurt roared a laugh, "Paano ba naman kasing hindi? Para kayong mga timang. Ikaw, ano ba talaga? Gusto mo ba siya o hindi?"

Napa-isip ako ng ilang sandali bago nakasagot, "Hindi..."

"Took you a while to answer, huh? Sinabi ko na sa 'yong pag-igihan mo ang desisyon mo ngayon, e, parang imbis na umayos ay mas lumalala," Kurt calmly told me.

"Ewan ko ba. Hindi ko alam kung anong problema ko," I honestly said, "I'm sure I don't like him that much yet."

"Ang gulo mo," he irritatingly commented, "ano ba talaga? Kung gusto mo talagang hindi na kayo magpansinan ever, huwag kang papansin. Kung nag-guilty ka sa ginawa mo, kausapin mo muli. Huwag mo ngang pairalin 'yang ka-toxic-an na galing sa dati mong relasyon kay Arist."

"Hindi mo ikamamatay kung bababaan mo ng slight ang pride mo. Paalala ko lang na may tinatawag tayong communication. Pwedeng gamitin 'yan, Ian," dagdag pa niya.

💍

Kinabukasan ay maaga kaming umalis ni Kurt upang hindi pa masyadong maipit sa dami ng tao sa Divisoria.

Kagabi ko lang din natanggap ang message ni mama na listahan ng mga bibilhin kong regalo, may karamihan iyon dahil hindi lang naman sa compound namin ang may inaanak ang tita kong na sa America.

Binasa ko pa lang ang mga bagay na kailangan naming bilhin ay nanghina na ako. Mabuti ring sumama si Kurt dahil hindi ko kayang dalhin ang lahat ng iyon.

We arrived around 11 in the morning, thank goodness the sun was behind the thick gray clouds. I wouldn't survive an hour here if the sun was scorching like its usual self today.

"Anong uunahin natin? Ang dami namang inaanak ng tita mo, ninang ng bayan ba siya? May balak ba siyang pumasok sa politika?" tuloy-tuloy na sabi ni Kurt ngayong nakibasa siya sa listahan sa cellphone ko.

Napahalakhak ako at hindi agad nakasagot. "Ewan ko ba, siya ang laging ginagawang ninang ng mga kamag-anak namin. Iniisip siguro nilang na sa ibang bansa kaya maraming pera."

"Tanginang mindset 'yan," Kurt chuckled, "kawawa tita mo, ha? Hindi ba't siya rin ang nagbabayad sa mga gamot ng lolo mo?"

I nodded because it was the truth anyway. My aunt would send money to my mother monthly for my grandfather's medication. My grandmother already passed away 2 years ago after my grandfather's heart surgery.

The doctor said that my grandfather could still live five to ten years longer because of his successful surgery, but I could feel like my grandfather's not that happy anymore without his wife.

"Si tita nga ang nagbabayad ng gamot ni lolo at kay mama pinapadala kaya inaakala ng mga kapatid ni mama na umaasa lang kami kay tita," I shared to Kurt while we took the path straight to the mall, "e hindi naman sila ang nag-aalaga kay lolo. Ni minsan nga hindi man lang nila kinumusta ang matanda."

"Mga tao talaga sa inyo, bakit kaya ganito ang buhay natin? Ano 'to, sumpa?" he jokingly ranted.

Sinabayan ko pa si Kurt, "Baka mga masasamang tao tayo noon sa past life natin kaya sa ganito tayo na-reincarnate. Kung tutuusin nga sobrang simple lang ng problema nila pero pinapalaki pa."

I added, "Akala rin kasi nila, si tita ang nagbabayad ng tubig at kuryente namin. Hindi naman dahil sa kita ng karinderya kami kumukuha ng pambayad. Kung gusto pala nilang makakuha rin ng pera mula sa tita ko buwan-buwan, e 'di sila ang mag-alaga kay lolo."

"Oo nga, ang dami-dami nila roon tapos kayo lang ang nag-aalaga. Saka para naman sa lolo mo iyong pera, sila ba ang may sakit? Ayos, ha," tawa muli ni Kurt.

Hindi ko inakalang matatagalan kami ni Kurt sa pamimili. Pareho kaming praktikal mag-isip ni Kurt kaya naman hindi namin naiwasang makipagplastikan sa mga tindera para maka-discount.

Aba, kung may matitira pa kahit man lang two hundred o five hundred, pwede pa kaming kumain ni Kurt at mag-taxi pabalik.

Tawang tawa kami sa ginawang gimik ni Kurt sa huling tindahang binilhan namin. Halos matumba na ako sa sahig sa sobrang laugh trip.

"Gago ka talaga," naiiyak kong sabi, "kawawa 'yong tindera, na-in love nga talaga yata sa 'yo."

Paano kasi, tinawag siyang pogi ni ate tapos imbis na magalit ay pinatulan niya para na rin daw maka-discount. He acted as manly as he could, we didn't expect that the sellers would buy his trick.

They even requested for his number that he immediately gave back, it was an on the spot made up number though.

"Bahala siya riyan, salamat na lang sa discount," ngisi ni Kurt at umirap pa, "nabili na ba natin lahat? Hapon na pala, kanina pa tayo paligoy-ligoy. Ang sakit na ng mga paa ko!"

"Ang sakit na nga ng mga braso ko, e," I ranted back and took a glance at my phone's screen again to see if we already bought everything.

"May natira pa bang pera?"

"One hundred something na lang yata," I answered, downhearted.

"Anong gagawin natin diyan?" natatawa niyang tanong, "kain na lang muna tayo sa 7 Eleven."

"May nakita ka bang 7 Eleven dito sa loob?"

Tumango si Kurt at nagturo kung saan kami galing kanina, "Somewhere there."

"Sige, tara. Kain muna tayo. Tapos naman na tayong mamili," yaya ko agad dahil gusto ko na ring maupo.

Ako ang pinahanap ni Kurt ng lamesa namin nang nakarating na kami sa 7 Eleven at sa kanya ko binigay ang natirang pera upang pangkain namin dahil siya ang umorder.

May all time favorite rice meal kami ni Kurt dito na sobrang mura pero sulit na. Pwede pa nga kaming mag-ice cream pagtapos dahil budget friendly talaga ang mga pagkain dito.

Dahan-dahan kong hinilot ang parte ng kanang braso ko kung saan masakit habang hinintay si Kurt bumalik. Hinayaan ko muna ang mga pinamili sa sahig dahil wala namang iba pang pwedeng paglagyan.

Hindi nagtagal ay magkaharap na kami at kanya-kanyang ginalaw ang bagong lutong rice meal.

"Paano tayo uuwi? Tingin mo ba ay kaya pa nating mag-taxi?" tanong ko nang nakakalahati na ako sa kinakain.

"Huwag mo ng alalahanin pa ang sasakyan natin pauwi. May nakausap na akong maghahatid sa atin pabalik," sagot niya na nagpatigil sa akin.

"Sino naman?" may disgusto sa aking tono.

"Pinsan ko, inutusan ni papa."

Wala sa sarili akong tumango at sinabing, "Ah, okay. Salamat naman. Kukunin na ni papa ang mga pinamili natin sa bahay ninyo. Na sa paligid lang daw siya ngayong bumabiyahe. I'll just text him once we're near your house already."

"Sige," Kurt simply replied.

Parang ngayon ko lang tuluyang naramdaman ang natamong sakit ng katawan, tawa kasi kami nang tawa kanina kaya hindi masyadong dama ang pagod... ngunit ngayong pauwi na kami ay tila ba nawala na ako sa mood.

Natapos ang mahigit tatlumpung minuto at saka lang naming napagpasyahang umalis na. Sinabi ni Kurt na saktong na sa labas na raw ang sundo namin.

"Teka lang, ang sakit talaga ng braso at kamay ko," sigaw ko kay Kurt na medyo malayo na pala sa akin.

Muli siyang naglakad patungo sa akin at walang sabing kinuha ang isang mabigat na plastic na buhat ko. Anim na malalaking plastics kasi ang dala namin at napagpasyahan namin kaninang tig-tatlo.

Ang alam ko ay mas mabibigat pa ang dala niyang tatlo kaysa sa buhat ko kaya naman nag-alala akong ngayong apat na mabibigat na ang hawak niya.

"Hoy, sure ka bang keri mo?" Masakit din ang paa niya kaya nag-alala ako.

"Oo nga, malapit na lang naman ang lalakarin natin," he convinced me.

I was swayed because of his thoughtfulness, he had always been like that anyways toward his other friends. Kurt might curse and tease you nonstop but in times like this, he'd show you gestures that a man should do.

He was a few steps farther than me when I lifted my head to see where his cousin could be.

My eyes caught a familiar expensive car not far from where Kurt was heading to that made my system panic.

I knew it definitely looked the same as someone else's car and I couldn't be mistaken!

Besides, who would shop in Divisoria anyway with a car like that?

Litaw na litaw ang sasakyan dahil sa angkin nitong ganda kahit sa malayo. Kahit pa ayaw kong lapitan ay wala akong nagawa dahil dito rin lumapit si Kurt.

Napako ako sa aking kinatatayuan, sa likod lamang ni Kurt, nang lumabas ang lalaking na sa driver's seat.

Parang gago 'tong si Kurt! Bakit si BJ? Bakit siya nagsinungaling sa 'kin? Fake friend!

Ang daming katanungang bumulabog sa aking isipan at sa dami nito ay hindi ako agad nakagalaw sa pwesto. Unang binuksan ni Marcus ang likod ng kanyang sasakyan at kukunin na sana niya ang dala ni Kurt.

Ang gaga, tinuro ako at mabilis na naglakad patungo sa likod ng sasakyan upang siya ang maglagay ng mga dala niya.

Marcus had no choice but to go near me and get the two light weighed plastic bags. He wore a white long-sleeved polo and formal pants that made me think that he maybe came from an office or formal gathering.

When he slightly leaned forward to grab the plastics from my hold, I unintentionally smelled his addictive scent.

I couldn't lift my hands anymore because they were so painful. The heaviness left me when he finally had the plastics on his hands.

Kurt signalled me to come in already, I quickly took a glance at Marcus but he was busy arranging the things behind to notice me.

I had no other choice but to obey Kurt and get involved in his stupid idea. We were both inside Marcus' car already when I shot Kurt a deadly stare.

He only showed me his typical annoying smirk as if he was teasing me deep inside him. I badly wanted to strangle him to death only if we weren't with Marcus.

My head turned when Marcus finally came in. Our eyes accidentally met in the rearview mirror of his car.

I immediately averted my gaze when I felt a strange heat spreading on my face. I decided to look down and just stay silent for the rest of the ride.

As much as I wanted to not give a flying fuck, Kurt elbowed me in the middle of the trip.

He gave me a meaningful look that I didn't catch. My eyes narrowed as my brows furrowed. I tried to mouth bakit but he only chuckled.

What was he thinking?