"Normal."

I smiled in the mirror at myself.

"Yeah, normal."

Sure, I was talking to myself, but I was in a fairly good mood. It has been a week since the whole situation with Jackson and I am proud to say that it has officially blown over. After I vented to Damon about it, it wasn't really eating at me anymore and Holly was always out with Kale, so it's not like I could really tell her anyway. I haven't really talked to Jackson about anything either other than that night after I'd spoken to Damon. So, yes. Everything was going back to normal, finally.

And today, we were all going to have a normal trip to the beach, all of us. It'll be the first time we're all at the beach at once and, if I keep my distance from Jackson, everything will be really fun. Even if I didn't avoid Jackson, this day would be fun, because we're friends, like we always have been. Just like nothing has happened.

After one last confident smile in the mirror, I was on my merry way. Today, I was wearing a simple black bikini covered by a pair of shorts and a "fringe crop top", that's what the tag said. It was a dark blue tank top-like thing that cut off half way between my belly button and boobs and there was fringy stuff that hung down to my waist. Alone with white flip flops and a Hollister tote bag that was holding my towel, sun screen, and other beach necessities.

Soon, we were all herding towards the beach. The part of the beach outside of the house is always vacant considering its private, I think, but a little farther down the beach, it's fairly busy and I think there's like a beachside restaurant there, which is why there's always so many people there. It's funny, I doubt any of them realize that there less than half a mile away from three of the most famous teenagers in the world.

Today will be the first day since the incident that I'll actually be spending time with Holly, since she's always with Kale now. Elle and Andy, too, they spend most of their time with their boy toys, so I've been hanging out with either Damon, Taylor, and/or Jackson, Ryder, and the twins.

Once we got our towels spread out, we all abandoned our clothes so that we were all in our bathing suits and this is when the debating started.

"Let's go swimming." Ryder suggested.

"No, tanning is first." Andy insisted.

"Well, I want to build a sand castle." Isaac suggested.

"Why don't we all do what we want to do?" Holly asked. "And then we'll all meet up for lunch."

Everyone seemed to like that idea, so we all dispersed to their desired activity, which for me and the girls was tanning. I'd go swimming later, but tanning first.

We laid our towels in the sand and laid on our backs in a row, I was between Holly and Andy with Elle on the other side of Andy.

"So, Libby, you seem to be getting pretty cozy with that Damon guy." Holly grinned at me suggestively.

"Really?" I chuckled. "We're just talking. But not like talking, talking. Just friends."

"Well, you have to like somebody." Holly said firmly. "And it's not just because I think you should have a boyfriend, but I see that smile on your face and you only smile like that when you like somebody."

That made me blush. I didn't like Damon like that, we were just friends and that was that. I would try to lie to Holly and tell her that she was wrong and that I don't like anybody, but she wouldn't believe me. She knows me better than anybody, she would know that I was lying. But what was I supposed to tell her? I didn't have a crush on Damon, but I thought that I might have just the slightest crush on Jackson? That wouldn't go over well at all.

So, that leaves me only one option.

"I think I'm already pretty tan, I'm going to go for a swim." I mumbled quickly, standing to my feet to avoid any more awkwardness.

"Wait, who is it?" Elle asked with an excited grin.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb, tossing my sunglasses onto my towel. "Oh, nobody."

"Nobody?" Andy echoed in disbelief. "Please, you're obviously blushing right now. Who is it?"

I shrugged dramatically. If avoidance won't work, denial is my second best option even if they don't believe me. "Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Smell ya later!" I called right before jogging quickly towards the ocean where Jackson, Ryder, and Tommy were wrestling in the water that went to right below my boobs.

"What happened to tanning?" Ryder smirked at me.

"It got boring." I shrugged, keeping enough distance from the boys so that I didn't get splashed.

"Boring?" Jackson scoffed. "You love tanning."

"Well, I guess not anymore. Especially not with like those spiders hiding in the sand."

"Sand spiders? Is that your newest creation?" Ryder teased.

"They must be related to the snakaspideroos." Tommy chuckled.

"They might be, I don't know. You guys think I make this stuff up, but we'll see who's laughing when you're getting eaten whole by the sand spiders. They prey on Americans, you know."

"If they only eat Americans then why wouldn't they be in America?" Jackson asked.

"They can't swim." I rolled my eyes. "Come on, everybody knows that, where did you get your education?"

"Apparently at a worse school than yours." Tommy muttered amusedly.

"Clearly." I snorted. "Now, let's play Marco Polo."

"We're a little busy." Ryder mumbled just before attacking Jackson from behind and taking him under water before Jackson retaliated and grabbed Ryder by the neck and brought him down too. They both continued to thrash and splash through the water while Tommy watched the two, I assumed he was waiting for the next person to come up so that he could tackle the unsuspecting person.

I decided to just watch the amusing fight because I know that if I joined in, I'd get a broken bone or at least mental bruising at the minimum. And I managed to keep my distance so that I didn't get splashed all that much.

"Hey, you can't just watch, that's no fun." Ryder observed after a while.

"Yes I can, I'm having enough fun just watching." I said, growing a little worrisome when he started inching closer to me. "Very content."

"Yeah, but that's no fun for us." He countered.

"Well, you have your fun and I'll have mine, just don't- AHH!" Ryder wasn't the one on attack, but something grabbed my ankle under the murky, cool ocean water and pulled me under. Once I was successfully submerged completely in the water, the thing around my ankle released me so I frantically shot to the surface.

"Shark!!" I screamed, leaping into Ryder's open arms. "Shark! There's a shark!"

When I didn't hear his sounds of panic, but instead he was laughing, I opened my eyes to see Jackson coming up from under the water and all three boys were hysterically laughing.

"Jerk!" I squeaked when I realized that there was no shark, but it was just Jackson under the water. I pushed myself out of Ryder's arms as they all continued laughing. "That was not funny." I huffed. "I could have died!"

"You could have died?" Tommy asked, still gasping for air.

"Yes." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest to show my anger for the three stupid boys in front of me. "I could have had a heart attack or something and then you all would have a dead body on your hands and you'd feel bad."

"You wouldn't die." Ryder said, rolling his eyes.

"I would if I was attacked by a shark!" I protested.

"But you weren't-" Ryder cut off with a confused look. "I'm confused."

Tommy smirked and looked at Jackson. "Hey, you slept with her, maybe you can figure her out."

I turned and gaped at Tommy with a burning red face. Did he really just say that?! He subtly shared a fist bump with Ryder, but it obviously wasn't subtle enough because I saw it. "How did you know?!" I yelped.

"I told you he'd probably figure it out." Jackson defended.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a genius." Tommy gloated.

"But- But-" I floundered, not knowing what to say as I was completely and utterly embarrassed and just wanted to sink under the ocean's surface. Maybe a real shark would come and sweep me away.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell Andy." He said, which quelled some of the panic that was rising inside of me. "But Brendon knows."

"What?!" I screeched, louder than intended and people on the shore probably heard. Heck, people on the moon probably heard.

"Okay, calm down." Ryder insisted.

"No. No, there's no calming down. Who the hell knows?!" I demanded.

"Libby,-"

"I need toes to walk!" I yelped.

"What?" Tommy said with a laugh.

"Toes, the things on your feet! They are imperative." I whined.

"Brendon's the only other person that knows." Jackson informed me. "He overheard us talking the other day. Your toes are safe."

"You talk about it?!" I screeched. "No. No, don't even answer that. I'm going to go build a sandcastle with the other guys because they're cooler than you jerks." Before any of them could say anything, I lunged into the water and started to swim for the shore line where Kale, Isaac, Brendon, and Jarrod were sitting in the sand, making a pathetic excuse of a sand castle.

I was going to go offer them tips for building a moat- because they didn't have one. I mean, really? Who has a moatless sand castle nowadays? However, when I got close enough, I saw Brendon and the fact that he knows what happened between me and Jackson made me ridiculously uncomfortable even from yards away, so I quickly vetoed that. The only other option was returning to my towel for some extra tanning time.

"What was that about?" Holly asked me once I got back and laid on my belly like the rest of the girls were.

"What was what about?" I asked her, playing dumb.

"You just had a screaming match out there with the guys." Andy observed.

"Oh, I thought I was getting eaten by a shark." I said nonchalantly. "But I wasn't."

"Oh." Elle mumbled. "Well, that's good."

"Yeah." I sighed, closing my eyes. I know that nobody else felt awkward because nobody else knew what I knew, but I did know which made just lying there with my best friends so awkward. Tommy is keeping something from his fiancée, Jackson is keeping this from Holly, and well Ryder has nothing to feel guilty about. But because of me, this huge secret is being kept. And I know that it's not Jackson's job to tell Holly what happened- how weird would that be? It's my job as her best friend.

And I guess Tommy wouldn't get in trouble either, because it's really none of his or Andy's business what happened. It's nobody's business, really.

But Jackson told his best friend. Why couldn't I tell mine? He's a better person than me, I'm such a terrible person. And that tanning session silence was incredibly awkward, but I tried my best to just ignore it. And going back to Jackson, Tommy, and Ryder would be awkward too because I know that Tommy and Ryder know. And I couldn't go build a castle because I know that Brendon knows and that's probably the most awkward situation I could be put in.

"Lunch time!" Somebody called after a while of my internal battle with myself.

I opened my eyes to see Holly standing up and pointing towards the house where Harris was walking out of the house with a tray of what looked like sandwiches. Ryder went inside and got a small table to put the food on so that we didn't get sand on the food, which were little subs and delicious. Harris also made homemade lemonade which was probably the best thing I'd ever tasted ever.

After everyone was done eating, we all sat in a blobby circle in the sand and everybody was together and talking about random things. I wasn't talking, though, because the only thing that I could think about was how Brendon and Tommy and Ryder all know about what happened, but Holly, my very best friend, doesn't. And I felt like crap.

Soon, Damon, Cole, Brett, and Taylor emerged and joined our blobby group of friends while everyone was laughing about something- I wasn't sure what because I was so preoccupied and paranoid and overreacting. But, you know, overreacting is my middle name. Libby Overreacting Cross, that's me.

At one point, I found my eyes involuntarily wandering to a certain someone. That certain someone, like every other guy on the premises, was shirtless and he had been all day, but this was the first time that I'd allowed myself to actually look at him. I wish I could say that I was checking out Damon, because that would make my life so much easier. Having a crush on the Australian. That spelled out the perfect summer romance. But no, I wasn't checking Damon out because why would I when Jackson was there in all his shirtless glory.

"I see you looking at him." Holly teased on my left.

"What?!" I shrieked, tearing my eyes from Jacksons abs- oh, his abs- and looking at her with as much incredulity that I could pack into one gaze.

She grinned at me. "I knew you liked Damon."

I began to frown in confusion but when I looked over, I could see that Damon was in fact sitting right beside Jackson. Oh, Holly, I thought to myself. I wasn't checking Damon out, I was looking at your brother. "That doesn't mean I have a crush." I mumbled, just playing along.

"Whatever you say." She sang teasingly.

Unable to take the awkwardness inside my head any longer, I sprang to my feet. "I'm going to go inside for a little while, I'm feeling a little burnt."

Elle chuckled. "I told you to put more sunscreen on earlier."

"Yeah, well I never listen, you know me." I mumbled with a small smile, grabbing my clothes and towel and hiking up the beach, back towards the house. I would probably go back out later, but I just need to get over whatever was spinning around in my head.

I said a quick hello as I passed Harris in the kitchen and hurried up the stairs and down the hallway towards my room. I was almost there when I felt a hand clasp around my wrist. I instinctively turned around and saw a very out of breath Jackson standing there.

"What?" I asked softly.

"Why are you freaking out?" He panted, quickly calming his breath down to an average pace- I assumed that he was running to catch up to me, but how I didn't hear him running after me is way beyond me.

"Freaking out?" I asked with raised eyebrows. "I'm not freaking out, I just said that I'm burning."

"You were lying." He stated bluntly. "If it's really beating you up so bad, then just tell her."

"I can't tell her." I mumbled. "She'd hate me."

"You and I both know that she won't hate you. If you want, Ryder can tell her or something?"

"That's even worse."

"I know, but I just don't know what to do to make this right, Libby." He admitted.

I shook my head. "You don't have to make anything right, it's not your job to fix me."

"Yes it is." He insisted as I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let me. "I'm not going to let you eat yourself up about something when it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, though."

"It's partially my fault."

"Partially." I agreed. "50 percent."

Jackson gave me a half smile before pulling me into his arms. "Tell me what's wrong." He mumbled as I let myself relax in his arms. Well, I didn't really "let" myself, I just did. I always relax in his arms, whether I want to or not, there's just something about him that's soothing to me.

"I don't know what's wrong." I admitted. That was true, I didn't know why I was freaking out all of the sudden. I mean, sure there's this secret but it's been hovering over my head for a week and I've been getting over it. But knowing that Brendon knows... that's just so weird do me.

"Then just breathe, okay? Just calm down for a minute." He said softly as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and we just stayed like that for a really long time. Nobody said anything, neither one of us moved a muscle except to breathe, soft and calm breaths.

When I could feel myself calming down I let out a long sigh, taking in the salty ocean scent of Jackson's skin. "You can let go now." I mumbled, not pulling away from him. I really didn't want to pull away, I didn't want to leave his arms, I wanted to live there, his arms were so warm and inviting and calming- like my own personal therapy.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He told me.

"Why?" I asked curiously, keeping my face nuzzled into his warm neck.

"I think I might kiss you." Jackson whispered.

My breath hitched at his words and that special K word, but eventually, I responded. "I think that'd be okay."

"Yeah?" He asked, seemingly shocked by statement.

I nodded softly, my body started to tremble at just the thought of his lips on mine- I bet that'd feel nice. "Yeah."

Jackson shifted slightly and before I could even process a thought, his soft lips were brushing against mine. Wow. He wasn't even actually kissing me yet and it still felt incredible. I leaned up more, pressing my lips to his for a deeper kiss- it was so much better sober. The kiss was soft and slow and sweet, but very deep and passionate and it drove me crazy.

In the distance, I remember hearing a door open and then footsteps coming up the stairs. I was okay with just standing right there and letting whoever it was find us like that, but Jackson had a better state of mind, because he picked me up, so that my legs were wrapped around his waist, and carried me down the hallway into the safety of one of the rooms. I didn't know that it was my room until the familiar comforter of my messy bed met my bare back.

We were really going to do this after all the drama I'd endured over the past week, we were really going to do this again? That sounds ridiculous. But then he started kissing my neck and I was defenseless. I couldn't stop him and I didn't want to. We really were going to do this, no matter what happens afterwards.

Well, it least I'll remember it this time.