LOVER -
act one chapter thirty.

italics symbolize french speaking in this chapter.

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irisblanche: monaco and me 💗

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augustisthebestmonth: oh i've missed you my dearest sister 💞💞💞💗💗💞💗💞💞
irisblanche: you called me a slag five minutes ago august?
augustisthebestmonth: fine then. i'll see you at the track.

notaleclerc: AUGUST IS AT THE TRACK??
bedroomsinger: i told you this
notaleclerc: NO YOU DIDNT
bedroomsinger: UH YES I DID

userone: i'm envisioning chaos considering august is at the track
irisblanche: i hate him so much he's ruining my peace and quiet

landonorris: your brother is literally cooler than you
irisblanche: i'm not listening to a guy that didn't pit for inters
augustisthebestmonth: @landonorris she's got you there buddy

charles likes bum:

TRAITOR:
get august away from me
he's distracting me

MICK:
do not send him my way

MAX:
someone said he had his snake
with him

MICK:
SHUT UP.
HE BETTER NOT.

IRIS:
mick
stop being gullible
there's no way he'd get in with a snake
plus
he's your guys' problem now
you wanted to meet him
and now you have to deal with him

TRAITOR:
but i didn't know he was
like this

RED BULL REJECT #2:
i like him!

CHARLES:
of course you do

AUGUST:
guys i'm right here
i'm witnessing this bullying
first hand 😤😞

IRIS:
YOU HIT ME
FIVE MINUTES AGO

AUGUST:
AND???

IRIS:
THAT IS ALSO BULLYING.

AUGUST:
still don't care

IRIS:
visual evidence of me rn

JUST KIDDING

brb
kym illman is trying to snap a pic of me

AUGUST:
why does he not want pics of me 😤
actually nvm
that guy is creepy

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kymillman: (SORT OF) HOME TURF.

singer, iris blanche returns to Monaco. where she currently lives and where she grew up. it will be interesting to see if she goes to visit her fathers statue before the race starts in two hours.

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userone: why is she here?!! she'll just get charles to punch another person and ruin his reputation
usertwo: she obviously thought this was where she had to go to sign another restraining order

augustisthebestmonth: i don't want to compliment my sister but she looks nice for once...
irisblanche: you can do august, be nice to me for once 👍🏻
augustisthebestmonth: since you asked i'm not going to

userthree: just announce your together already. it's so boring
userfour: boring?! what do you think this is some tv show 😭

"AUGUST, STOP BEING A PRICK." Iris told her brother as they waited for the rain-delayed Monaco Grand Prix to start.

"A prick?" August asked in an alarmingly high voice, "You're the one acting so kind over text and then in person you're acting like you've got a brick up your ass! Is that the right expression?"

Iris raised her eyebrows at her brother, "Oh please! You always have a brick up your ass!"

"Well I'm going to have your boyfriend there too later! Considering I'm taking him out for dinner."

Iris turned her full focus on her brother, "No, no you are not August. The last thing I need right now is you scaring Charles off. He's got enough going on."

"When did you turn into such an adult? All we're doing is going out to a nice restaurant and going to have a nice little chat-."

Iris scoffed, "A nice little chat with you is usually one filled with threats and stupid jokes. You are not allowed to make your underwear joke, you hear me? No embarrassing stories either, because no doubt Charles will come back and tell me all about it." Iris sighed, "That is if he's talking to me."

August turned his head immediately, "Huh!" He exclaimed, drawing unwanted attention to the siblings, "You're going through a rough patch and you didn't tell me! I am your brother for gosh sake. You're supposed to tell me these things." August hit his sister on the shoulder as he cursed at her in French.

"And what were you going to do August! Give me advice?" Iris asked sarcastically, missing the way August's eyes lit up at the possibility.

"Yes! I'll give you advice."

Iris slowly turned her head, failing at hiding her laughter at her younger brother seriousness. "Sorry! But you want to give me advice? You've barely lived long enough to even give me helpful advice, August."

August scoffed, "Whatever. But don't come crying back to me when you need advice."

"Like that will ever happen."

charles 👍🏻:

CHARLES 👍🏻:
why
why are august and i
going on a 'date' ?

IRIS 💪🏻:
crying
did he actually call it that???

CHARLES 👍🏻:
YES
i thought i said we have
to spend tonight together
because it's your last night
before you go away

IRIS💪🏻:
i'm not dying charles

CHARLES 👍🏻:
you never know
anyway
don't go to sleep
stay up
i have a surprise!!!

IRIS 💪🏻:
the last surprise you got me
was a new collar for weenie
it was yellow.
and you know how weenie feels about
yellow.

CHARLES 👍🏻:
yes yes
i've lived through the mistake
and i'll never do it again

IRIS 💪🏻:
😁😁😁
GO ENJOY YOUR DATE
💗💗💗💗💗

CHARLES 👍🏻:
he's so scary omg
he's made so many underwear jokes

IRIS 💪🏻:
that sounds like august

charles likes bum:

IRIS:
so what your saying george
is you don't think i'd be good enough
as a formula one driver
i see how it is

PR LORD:
HUH
I NEVER SAID IT LIKE THAT

IRIS:
LIKE THAT???
SO YOU'VE SAID IT??

RED BULL REJECT #2:
i really thought you were
better than this george
i guess now i know the motives behind
every shirtless picture now

PR LORD:
YOU'RE PUTTING WORDS
IN MY MOUTH

LEWIS:
woah
george
can you just calm down
for five seconds
and apologize to
our lovely lady
iris

PR LORD:
no

IRIS:
monaco sucked today
and it's the last time
you'll see me
until austria
how are you guys going to cope

LANDO:
perfectly fine

IRIS:
no one even asked you to speak

LANDO:
why are you so
mean to me

IRIS:
because you suck 😂
plus
i like your gf more

DANIEL:
we all do

LANDO:
WHAT
you literally stroked my
cheek this morning

RED BULL REJECT #2:
BYE
which cheeks are you talking about
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

PR LORD:
guys we've had this talk before
you cannot go around
touching peoples b**s

IRIS:
why did you put
asterisks
in the word bums 😭

RED BULL REJECT #2:
he's sensitive ❤️

LEWIS:
no he's george
did you get the joke

RED BULL REJECT #2:
i love you lewis

LEWIS:
i love you too alex
you sweetie pie

IRIS:
i don't know what's going on
anymore
but i like it.

irisblanche via instagram stories:

view replies!

charles_leclerc:
and what if
i don't want you to leave

irisblanche:
🙁🙁🙁
stop it
you'll know i'll give in

charles_leclerc:
check your messages!!!

charles👍🏻:

CHARLES 👍🏻:
STOP PACKING
and get down here 🤬
i'm waiting for you!!!!
AND BRING A COAT
it's going to be wet

IRIS 💪🏻:
now
is that a sex joke

CHARLES 👍🏻:
shut up and just get down here
before i leave you behind

IRIS 💪🏻:
YOU WOULDN'T DARE

CHARLES 👍🏻:
HIRRY UO THEN.

AUTHORS NOTE:
first day of half term and i've written two chapters of a special book and a lover chapter!!! let's celebrate 😘

i wonder what charles' surprise is, plus at some point i will do a chapter on august and charles' outing because there is a similar one coming up!!! but with a different person guess who🫣