Salutations gremlins! It is I, the hand that feeds you fanfiction.

So, my friend @ILikeAnimeAndImOdd *wiggles eyebrows* challenged me to finish one 6000 word chapter before Wednesday, it's currently Sunday.

So that's fun, anyway no more dilly-dallying, let's do this! *determined face*

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Future Green-Bean here, uh- yeah, so I failed this, it's almost comical how terribly I failed this. Uh- I started this like- a month ago? Sorry?

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Ayo, it's me, Future-Future Green-Bean , it's been 13 days since that other future me scolded myself ^ .. I'm not doing well on this challenge-

~~~~~~~~

Future Green-Bean again .. and I don't want to talk about it-

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Hahahahhahahahhahaha- Future Green-Bean, I said that ^ 24 days ago. I'M SO BAD AT POSTING ON TIME-

~~~~~~

Dude, this is getting increasingly more concerning.

————————————————————-
Shiro's POV.

I open my eyes to see .. nothing .. well that was anti-climactic-

where I am?

Are the Paladins going to be okay?

This probably isn't good ..

Am I dead?

Im dead aren't I!

I can't die right now! I want a refund.

"Shiro?" A soft voice calls.

I spin around looking for the bodiless voice. "Yeah?"  I look down and-

Oh, where am I again?

The voice sounds again: "Shiro! Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, yeah." I wasn't listening.

Green, and white flashes before my eyes, effectively giving me a headache as the voice chatters away, I attempt to listen to what their saying. ".. And then the rainbow- ........ -lked up to me, gr- ...... -crackers from my hand, summoned- ........ -his hand, and bu- ..... crackers, and then! .... like; 'Good ....... of that mold!' And handed Keith a new bag of cheese ...........;-ith the 10 foot tall anglerfish that- ....... -avalanche earlier."

Right, what on earth did they just say? Well, I have no idea what to do. "Yeah .. that's, nice?"

"You weren't even listening were you?" A small pitter-patter noise sounds, repeating itself in a "Tip Tap Tip Tap" motion over, and over again.

Huh? I still don't know where I am, I ask this question once again, am I dea...

The blurred colors clear up, and the indistinguishable noises become distinguishable, as I very clearly see, and hear the angry gremlin with sparkly green eyes yelling in my face, so I respond to this predicament with the most logical reply.

"Heh?"

———————-

Pidge's POV.

"So then I was like: 'No Keith, you can't stab him, it's not his fault your cheese crackers went moldy-!' Oh are you okay?"

I look over at the unresponsive Shiro.

"Shiro?"

"Yeah?"

"Shiro! Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, yeah." He replies with a slight nod.

I sigh, ".. And then the rainbow Hippo -named Charles- walked up to me, grabbed the crackers from my hand, summoned a flame in the palm of his hand, and burnt the crackers, and then! was like; 'Good thingI took care of that mold!' And handed Keith a new bag of cheese crackers walked away holding hands with the 10 foot tall anglerfish that saved us from that avalanche earlier." I look at Shiro expectantly, waiting for him to be at the very least confused, but no, instead he replied with:

"Yeah, that's nice." Shiro's half lidded eyes gaze through me.

"Your weren't listening, were you?" I rapidly tap my foot against the ground.

"Shiro! You need to wake u-!" Shiro jolts then locks eyes with me for a moment before letting out a small confused ..

"Heh?"

I laugh, "How much sleep did you get last night?"

"I dunno .. like 45 minutes? Maybe?" Shiro replies seemingly counting the minutes with his fingers.

I facepalm "What am I going to do with you?" I roll my eyes before grabbing him by the hand and dragging him off to the med bay to make sure he wasn't like, dying from sleep deprivation or something.

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Hunk's POV.

"bakin' cookies! In a space oven, hm hm hm which I'm not actually sure if it's on -yeah it is- hm hm hm but that doesn't matter 'cuz I'm sure there gonna be greaaaaaat~" I hum bobbing my head to the beat of my made-up song as I pour a pot of hot water into a mug.

Everything was fine- until I spilt the piping hot water all over my hand.

Yeah, not a fun time.

"OH- AH! Wow! Phew, that burns oh no- that's not good, - ah- " I frantically shove my hand under the sink, running cold water over the blistering burn.

"Hunk? Sweetheart are you okay-? Oh, OH dear! I'll be right back!" Shay abruptly walks in (A/n what a coincidence and totally not something the author did so I could have a Shay x Hunk moment like what? Haha-) before quickly backtracking out of the room to go find .. uh, I'm not sure yet.

I quietly curse my clumsiness as the flesh on my hand almost .. bubbles, it's quite unsettling, so now I know 'Alien water boils much hotter than earth water' won't make that mistake again. Actually I take that back, I probably will.

"I'm baaaack!" Loud footsteps bounce throughout the halls.

"What were you getting?" I look at her expectingly

"Some bandages and whatnot, here give me your hand." Shay grabs my hand dumping a .. clear substance and cooling cream all over the burn.

".. that's a lot" I mutter awkwardly.

"Yeah, yeah I can see how you would think that, but this is the superior way to go about this." Shay nods her head slightly before wrapping my hand in pristine -not anymore- condition bandages, the bandages squish the cooling cream against my hand until it squishes out the sides and plops onto the ground.

Shay and I both look at the newly made mess on the floor before looking at each other, then back down again.

"There, you'll be fine now." Shay suddenly walks off leaving me very confused.

"Oh wait, I forgot I have to take you with me" Shay stumbles back over to me taking hold of my -non injured- hand and pulls me through the halls, more than likely to the med bay.

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Keith's POV.

"Great, just great. It's gone! Long gone by now, I'll never find it again!" I bang my head against the wall.

"Oh come on Keith, I'm sure you can find a new one." Matt sighs positively.

"I'll never. Ever. Find one again" I frown slouching with my head against the wall. My signature red jacket just flew out the window in a fiery ball of flames. (A/n when auto correct turns "Flames" into "Females" uhm-)

"Oh shut up, you'll be fine, it's your shoulder you should be concerned about." Matt mutters as he wraps my dislocated shoulder, turns out you should not open the air chute while wearing a jacket and/or coat because it will rip it off of you, snapping your arms off in the process.

"But .. my jacket-" I cry holding out an arm longingly against the window.

"It'll be fine. Come on, let's get you fixed up." Matt grabs my arms, dragging me out of the room with a huff.

"nooooooooo .."

"yesssssssss .."

"fineeeeeeee .."

"That's what I thoughhhhhht .."

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Third Person POV.

"Well, this is definitely not the turn of event I was expecting to happen when we decided to clean the fish tank." Coran twirls his mustache between his thumb and pointer finger.

As anyone with eyes can see (A/N apology's to anyone without eyes ✖️👄✖️), Lance is stuck inside the giant 100 foot deep fish tank being held captive by a giant slimy creature with multiple arms as Allura repeatedly strikes the beast with her old Bayard attempting to free the poor boy.

Allura hacks off one of the animals tentacles, going up for air, before going back under, the coral and seaweed around her making it hard to navigate her way back down, a large tentacle from the alien attempts to shove her against the wall of the tank , just barely missing as Allura uses the glass wall to push off of, giving her a speed boost. the large slimy appendage following her every move.

She finally reaches Lance stabbing at the tentacle until it let go of the now unconscious boy, she grabs him before swimming up for air a large tentacle following her up.

She just barley makes it above water when the large beast is speared through the head by- Keith?!

"Keith! you idiot, get back her right now!" Matt shouts before diving into the water to save the dark haired boy as he swim up with his newly dislocated shoulder.

Coran runs over to Allura and Lance as she performs CPR on him, with a quick motion she pushes down on his chest repeatedly.

And Coran being Coran, just .. well, why don't you see for yourself.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stay in' alive stay in' alive. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! JUST FOLLOW THE BEAT ALLURA!" Coran starts, as Allura subconsciously starts performing to the beat of the song. "Ah ah ah ah- Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk, music loud women warm, been kicked around since I was born- A roo doo-doo a roo doo-doo DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DU-DU-DU-"

(A/N I'm not sorry, not sorry at all. Watch this to make sense of this btw

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I hope you enjoyed that)

"CORAN LONCE IS LITERALLY DYING." Allura shouts at the dancing altean.

"rigHT- I'll preform mouth to mouth!" Coran pushes Allura over before leaning in, and-

"No! Oh, for the love of quiznak- Coran! Stop trying to kiss Lance and just take a few steps away, please!" Matt screeches from the other side of the tank as Allura scrambles to pick herself up and Keith attempts to escape Matt's iron grip.

Lance's eyes shoot open before he immediately rolls over into his hands and knee's and barfs out a ton of water onto the floor, gasping for air.

"Oh my g- LONCE are you okay?!" Allura rubs his back soothingly as he just .. yeah, I'm not going to go in the details.

"Well" Coran pipes up. "I'd say that went pretty well, look how clean the tank is!" Coran gestures to the sparkling tank with his arms. "Except for that like .. monster blood, okay maybe not .. the most clean, but it's better than being covered in 1000 years worth of fish poop-" Coran twirls his -concerningly well kept- mustache between his fingers once more.

Allura sighs before gather all the boys together to take them to the medic bay.

———————————————————
Third person POV.

As a dramatic black screen fades back into vibrant colors we tune in just in time to see Lance blow an air horn directly into the half-asleep half-awake Shiro's ear, successfully scaring everyone in the room and giving Shiro a heart attack. Pidge immediately sprung into action tackling Lance to the ground before throwing the air horn at the wall, the loud torture device smashes to bits. 

"Hey! That was rude and uncalled for!" Lance cries, a heaping pile of despair on the floor.

"The only thing that's rude and uncalled for is you blowing a air horn into a traumatized and sleep deprived mans ear.' Pidge fumes.

"Okay guys, maybe chill with the screaming match, we have multiple injured Paladins in this room right now." Matt hushes them with a sigh.

"Shut up you mother hen, I'm tryna sleep." Keith mutters as Shay treats his shoulder.

"... I don't know how to respond to that." Matt short circuits.

"Guys .. maybe we should just all calm down and go watch a movie maybe?" Hunk asks nervously picking at his bandaged hands before Shay slaps his hand away.

Keith falls off of the bench he was sitting with a hardly coherent "Hit my in 5 minutes.." the half-asleep Shiro jumps at the thump Keith makes on impact, letting out a sharp "I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL-" before full on sprinting out of the room.

"What the- Shiro-! No, not again" Pidge let's out a cry of anguish as she jogs after him.

"why? Why can't you guys just act like normal injured human beings?" Matt asks sliding a hand down his face.

"Cuz' I'ma a cowboy- and I'ma live up to the name! I ain't just gonna sit here lookin' pretty - which I am - when Shiro's out der- there goin' to school without me, I'm a big boy now, I can go dad! Let me go withhh himmmm .. where's my horse????" Keith slurs before face planting into the ground again.

"Shay, what kind of medicine did you give him?!" Matt falls to his knee's as he grabs Keith's head in frustration.

"I dunno, it might be to help with pain, but I've been living under ground all my life as a literal slave so I can't really read, I kinda just give you guys the first bottle of pills and/or medicine lookin' stuff I can find." Shay confesses shyly.

".. wut" Allura deadpans from her spot in the corner as Matt turns on his heel and straight up, no joke puts on a space suit, connects his belt to a cord that's connected to the ship, and jumps out of the air shoot.

The doors burst open as a Coran -in his home made super hero suit- drags in a Shiro attached to a rope and a unconscious Pidge thrown over his shoulder, proclaiming "Hello fellow Paladins! I have saved the day!"

The End
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That's the end of this like .. part of the chapter I guess you could say? Idk, this part was only about 2200 words, so Ima just like, put two chapters in one .. so basically the next bit will be completely unrelated to the bit you just read.

Enjoy the next bit of this really long chapter

(Set in a modern time btw)

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Sharpshooter: Guys, my kitchen may or may not be on fire.

CinnamonRoll: .. what?

Sharpshooter: so, I may or may not have attempted to make these easy three step cookies I found online, and then I may or may not have blown up my oven thingy even though the recipe didn't even call for baking time-

SpaceDad: Is anyone in any kind of mortal danger right now?

Sharpshooter: Not that I know of, no.

SpaceDad: Phew, thank goodness 😅

KnifeBoi: Did somebody say mortal danger? 🔪

Sharpshooter: nobody likes you Keith.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: I like you

Sharpshooter: Shut up Matt, nobody asked you

CinnamonRoll: Guys, please just calm down . .

Pidgeon: Lance

Sharpshooter: yes?

Pidgeon: Lance .. didn't you say your oven was on fire?

Sharpshooter: Oh yeah, it's spread into the wall now.

Pidgeon: Lance you idiot, call the police please.

Sharpshooter: Okay.

Mustache: The star of the shoe has arrived.

SpaceDad: *show

Mustache: YOUR NOT MY MOM-

SpaceDad: Jeez- okay .. *You're

Mustache has left the chat

KnifeBoi: Well, now that most of everybody has left .. Shiro, would you like to go conquer the worldwith me real quick?

SpaceDad: I would but I have to go to work in like, 30 minutes.

Sharpshooter: I'll come with you 🥺

KnifeBoi: you're uninvited

Sharpshooter: oh

KnifeBoi: yeah

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: I think you guys forgot about me ..

CinnamonRoll: yeah same.

Sharpshooter: we should have a "Matt and Hunk exist" celebration with a piñata and everything 🪅

KnifeBoi: no

SharpShooter: why?

KnifeBoi: because piñata's suck. One time I was at my birthday party ...

Sharpshooter: .. I would be concerned if you weren't at your own birthday party.

KnifeBoi: And I had all my friends over

Sharpshooter: *friend

KnifeBoi is typing

Sharpshooter: Keith? It's been like 5 minutes are you okay?

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Babe? You good?

KnifeBoi is typing

KnifeBoi: Don't call me babe in public Matt. ..Now I have to rewrite that whole thing I was writing..

KnifeBoi is typing

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: what on earth is he going to write?

CinnamonRoll: I think he's typing out a really long story about his probably traumatizing birthday party.

KnifeBoi: my dad got me this like, piñata filled with candy, the problem is that he unwrapped each individual candy before shoving it in there because he didn't trust my 7 year old self to not eat the wrapper. Turns out he left that piñata filled with unwrapped candy hanging in a tree in, our back yard, in the desert .. for five days, so when I went up to smash it open at the end of my party I hit it really hard and all this disgusting moldy melted candy fell on me, but that's not the worst part, the worst part was that it had been sitting outside for so long, that it started attracting bugs, so not only did my friends and I get cover in sticky old moldy candy but like 200 bugs flew out as well, and there were a bunch of bugs stuck in the candy and- it was horrible. Everyone left and all my friends never talked to me again. The end.

Sharpshooter: ...

CinnamonRoll: ...

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Do you need a hug..?

KnifeBoi: yes .. but not right now. Also I'm punishing you for calling me babe again.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: would you prefer baby?

KnifeBoi: NO

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: okay, okay jeez- just asking ..

SpaceDad: I'm- I'm just going to.. go now. Bye guys-

Sharpshooter: .. anyway, I don't have a house anymore.

CinnamonRoll: wha- what??

Sharpshooter: It burnt down, I'm sitting outside in the lawn. The firemen still haven't gotten here so I'm pretty sure I accidentally dialed Wendy's instead of 911

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: how do you even do that?

KnifeBoi: guys, he's Lance of course he did that.

Sharpshooter: Hey! maybe I can grab a piece of wood from my house as a souvenir- oh, nope it just .. it just disintegrated in my hand. Well this is awkward.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: *sigh* Oh Lance ..

Sharpshooter: well now I need a place to live

CinnamonRoll: I have a spare bedroom.

Sharpshooter: cool, I'll be there in exactly 2 hours 23 minutes and 56 seconds.

CinnamonRoll: wha-

Sharpshooter: I'm just kidding!

CinnamonRoll: Phew-

Sharpshooter: since I have to buy stuff to bring with me, you have an extra hour.

CinnamonRoll: .. oh

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Rip that Hunk ayyy-

KnifeBoi: I'm done with this.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: wait don't leave me

Sharpshooter: this is kinda awkward, again.

CinnamonRoll: .. yeah

————————————————————-

Pidgeon: Hey Lance, I have a question

Sharpshooter: what

Pidgeon: didn't you say you were moving in with Hunk?

Sharpshooter: yeah, and?

Pidgeon: and I want to know what happened.

Sharpshooter: Ohh, so basically I showed up but it turns out Hunk had already rescued this homeless man named "Dave" along with like 12 stray kittens .. bless his heart. I didn't want to live with "Dave" and the kittens so I'm still homeless.

CinnamonRoll: I said I was sorry ..

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: I can't help but feel like somehow Lance will end up living with one of us.

SpaceDad: I just touched my nose, so not it.

KnifeBoi: there is no way I will ever let Lance live with Shiro and I.

CinnamonRoll: I can't keep him for obvious reasons

Sharpshooter: guys, you know I'm still here .. right?

Pidgeon: it's just you and me Matt

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: I guess so .. but we live in the same house, so wouldn't Lance still live with me even if you won?

Pidgeon: you make a good point my friend.

Sharpshooter: does this mean I can live with you guys? Or do I have to resort to going to Wendy's everyday and telling them I'm lost so they'll give me a free burger.

CinnamonRoll: You could just do both, never give up an opportunity for free food.

Sharpshooter: Guys, help. I just walked into a McDonalds bathroom and there's a homeless man aggressively washing his hair in the sink- I don't know what to do because I really have to pee, but he's really intimidating and looks slightly mentally unstable .. so, uhm..

KnifeBoi: remember what I taught you Lance, go for the gut.

Sharpshooter: Keith, I'm not stabbing him. Yes, McDonalds security is terrible, but there's a 50/50 percent chance I'll get arrested, and I don't have anybody to bail me out if that happens, so yeah.

SpaceDad: also we probably shouldn't stab homeless people in a fast food restroom..?

CinnamonRoll: I agree ..

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Maybe Lance should just go to a different restaurant to go to the bathroom?

Sharpshooter: good idea, he just looked at me and smiled, I think this time I'm in mortal danger. I'm leaving now.

Pidgeon: I'm concerned for everyone's safety right now. Also, since when did Hunk live with 12 kittens and a homeless dude named Dave?

CinnamonRoll: I found the kittens on the side of the road. I don't know how Dave got here though, he just kinda just showed up and started eating my food.

SpaceDad: and you didn't call the police??

CinnamonRoll: .. but he can be nice, I don't want him to go to jail.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: the cops have been call, Dave's getting evicted.

KnifeBoi: hey Lance

Sharpshooter: what

KnifeBoi: did the fire men ever show up at your house to put out the fire?

Sharpshooter: no, I can confirm I accidentally called a Wendy's, because 30 minutes after my house burnt down this poor delivery man showed up with a burger and a chocolate frosty. The only reason I didn't apologize was because that wasn't even what I ordered.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: what did you order?

Sharpshooter: I ordered my house to not burn down.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: oh

Pidgeon: oh

KnifeBoi: why are we saying "oh" ??

SpaceDad: oh

CinnamonRoll: oh

Mustache: oh

KnifeBoi: when did you even get here?

Mustache: ah, well I joined a while ago but nobody seemed to notice, so I just .. sat and watch.

Sharpshooter: you mean you witnessed all of that?

Mustache: yes

SpaceDad: WE SHOULD PLAY A GA- sorry caps lock, I said we should play a game. Maybe a questions game?

KnifeBoi: ew. But yes.

Pidgeon: I'm in!

Sharpshooter: TRUTHHHH ORRRR DAREEEEE

CinnamonRoll: that means yes. Also I'll play 😅

Mustache: I will also play this "THRUTHHHH ORRRR DAREEEEE" game,

SpaceDad: Coran that's not how you- never mind.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: you guys are idiots, why did I ever join this chat.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: also I'm playing

SpaceDad: cool, I'll start. Keith, Truth or dare?

KnifeBoi: Dare.

SpaceDad: I dare you to throw one of your knifes out the window.

KnifeBoi: wha-? Why?? .. fine.

Pidgeon: WE NEED VIDEO EVIDENCE OF EVERY DARE.

KnifeBoi: I already did it, sorry. I'm not throwing another knife out there. Anyway, Lance truth or dare.

Sharpshooter: truth

Pidgeon: ooooh, is somebody scared?

Sharpshooter: FINE. Dare.

KnifeBoi: I dare you to walk back into the McDonalds restroom.

Sharpshooter: ... okay

Sharpshooter: ha! He's gone! Take that Keith

KnifeBoi: Oh come on!

Sharpshooter: Hunk, dare or dare

CinnamonRoll: what?

Sharpshooter: HUNK, DARE OR DARE

CinnamonRoll: Dare! Jeez-

Sharpshooter: I dare you to send us a pic of Dave and your new kittens

CinnamonRoll:

CinnamonRoll: Those are my kittens.

Pidgeon: so. Cute.

CinnamonRoll: and here's Dave

Sharpshooter: .. at least he looks nicer than whoever was in the bathroom.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: hey Hunk, I just had a random thought ..

CinnamonRoll: yes?

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: did the police ever show up ???

Pidgeon: oh yeah, I forgot about that

SpaceDad: same

KnifeBoi: same

CinnamonRoll: actually .. no, are you sure you gave them the right address?

Sharpshooter: AGHHhH MATT YPy SEND THEM THE ADRES OF THE MCDONAZ I'M AT, AND NOW THAT I'M HOMELESS THERE AREstING ME HELLPPPP-

SpaceDad: .. *they're

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Shiro, probably not the time buddy.

SpaceDad: sorry .,

Pidgeon: now what

KnifeBoi: jail break?

Mustache: Jail break.

CinnamonRoll: ah-?! When did you get here?

Mustache: like I said before, I never left ..

CinnamonRoll: oh.

SpaceDad: oh

Pidgeon: oh

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: oh

KnifeBoi: still don't know why we're doing this, but oh

CinnamonRoll: anyway, Matt truth or dare-

Sharpshooter: GUYS THEY ALLOWBED MEN TO HAVE ONEB CALK HELDOPPP IN NOT SUPPED TO TECT YOOU

KnifeBoi: oh yeah, I forgot about that .. also why only men?

SpaceDad: .. let's go save him. Also I believe he meant "me"

Pidgeon: yeah ..

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: guys I'll come pick you up, I'm in a black van with a pink dinosaur with a unicorn horn painted on the side.

CinnamonRoll: why-?

KnifeBoi: don't ask.

Pidgeon: we're on our way.

SpaceDad: Matt, you and Pidge pick up Keith, I'll go get Coran and Hunk.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: You got it SpaceDad.

SpaceDad: Form Voltron- what the-? Why did I even say that? What's "Voltron"

Slav: it must be your alternate universe self taking over.

SpaceDad: Who are you??

KnifeBoi: who's that guy?

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: did we just get hacked?

Pidgeon: yes

Slav: I'm .. I'm going to go now.

SharpShooter: AGHhHHgJHgGHhH THYeRE tWKiNG mY pHoNE!! HURiY

CinnamonRoll: don't worry Lance, we'll save you!

The End
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Jk Lol, just an ad break. *insert ad here* Anyway .. next bit! That bit was around .. 2000 words. So far I've written 4188, woohoo!!

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Sharpshooter: that was the worst jail break ever.

RatQueen: what happened? I've been reading your chat story for a while now, did you get out of jail?

Sharpshooter: *sigh* alright, everybody join, let's tell Allura what happened.

Slav joined the chat

SpaceDad: we are never doing a jail break again.

Pidgeon: never, ever again.

KnifeBoi: well, we won't ever get the chance if we don't escape first.

RatQueen: wait .. What do you mean "escape" *gasp* did you guys get arrested??

CinnamonRoll: they did, but I'm fine. I got away with Lance!

RatQueen: who would've thought ..

Sharpshooter: I know right!

RatQueen: okay .. so what happened?

Sharpshooter: Well Princess, first I was waiting in my cell thinking about how rude it was that they threw me in there in the first place, when suddenly, Shiro, Keith, Matt, Pidge, and Hunk all fell out of a vent into the middle of a bunch of guards, it was quite ungracful .. anyway, while they were stabbing stuff and fighting and whatnot, I was think about how cool I would look with long hair, speaking of hair have you seen how furry those weird fluffy long horn cow thingys are?? The answer is super fluffy by the way, hold on, wait, what was I originally talking about? Oh yeah! Jail break, anyway Hunk broke into my cell and was all like "Follow me if you want to live" so I followed him and we escaped leaving everyone behind while we crawled through these super small vents that scraped up my knee's, I actually have blood all over me, they weren't even big cuts but their bleeding like a lot, I really liked this shirt .. great! Now I'm sad.

Pidgeon: this whole paragraph screams ADHD. I don't even know what we were originally talking about anymore.

SpaceDad: here, let me try to explain ..

§~~~~~§

*Squiggly swirly things with music that makes it sound like Shiro is remembering something*

§~~~~~§

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hunk asks, his eyes trained on the set on the three guards walking down the hall.

"No." Keith deadpans from behind Hunk, rolling around trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. Vents are uncomfortable.

Thump

"Ah- sorry, sorry" Matt mumbles after he hit the side of the metal vent.

"Its fine, I'm sure that you didn't just completely give away our position or anything." Pidge rolls her eyes sarcastically as they all freeze.

"Shut up, both of you." Keith hisses.

"Sorry- Jinx! Jinx again! Ha I win. Take that Matt" Matt and Pidge apologize simultaneously before getting into a jinxing match.

"Shhh, guys be quiet .." Shiro scolds gently as he gracefully jumps down from the vent, catching Pidge when she jumps down.

Keith -the show off- as Lance would put it, does a flip mid air as he jumps out of the vent, meanwhile Coran just full on belly flops into the floor Hunk doing the same except landing on his feet.

"Hey, guys maybe you should turn around."

"Lance??" Hunk turns around to find Lance stuck inside of a prison cell. He also finds some security guards all aiming their tasers at the group.

"So this is how it ends." Matt cries giving Keith a side hug.

"Not today" Keith retorts pushing Matt off before pulling out a knife and- .. and immediately getting tased in side.

"Wow, you guys really suck." Pidge sighs as Shiro covers his face with his hands, Matt cries in a corner and Coran threatens the guards about how he'll "Grab your head like this, wrap you up like so, and 1 2 3 sleepy time!".

"Couldn't have said it any better myself." Shiro replies to Pidge from behind his hands.

"Well, let's do this already"

"Good idea" Shiro agree's, sweeping the leg of one amateur guard.

"Uh, guys?" Lance yells.

"What??" Pidge and Shiro yell in synchronization.

"Matt, Keith, and Coran have all been captured and are now in the cell with me."

"Oh"

"Yeah. Oh hey Hunk- woAH" And suddenly it's deathly silent.

"Did Hunk just save Lance and crawl out a window without us?" Pidge points at a broken window dumbfounded.

".. yeah, yeah I think that's what just happened." Shiro replies easily.

"I'm done! Just arrest me now." Pidge grabs Shiro, walks over to the prison cell the others are trapped in, opens door and closes it behind them.

"Wha-?! why would you do that Pidge?" Shiro asks quizzically as he leans up against the bars.

"Shut up and trust me." Pidge hits Shiro in the back of the head

~~~~~
*swirly things and music that signify that the flashback is over*
~~~~~

SpaceDad: and that's where we are right now.

RatQueen: wow ..

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Lance, Hunk, can you guys hurry up please?

Sharpshooter: yes, Ah- just one moment please, technical difficulties.

CinnamonRoll: we'll be there in a bit

SpaceDad: why haven't they taken our phones?

Sharpshooter: because the author is being lazy

SpaceDad: who-?

Pidgeon: THE FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN BREACHED, I REPEAT, THE FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN BREACHED!! EVERYBODY GRAB SOME SCOTCH TAPE!

CinnamonRoll: what is happening?

Sharpshooter: I'm not sure, and I'm the one who started it!

Pidgeon: oh yeah, I forgot you guys haven't been hanging out with Slav.

SpaceDad: The hacker?!

Pidgeon: .. no?

Slav: Yes.

Sharpshooter: I never thought I'd be in this situation, Hunk and I trying to save you guys from a prison like, right now, meanwhile you guys are arguing about a hacker we met over 10 hours ago in a group text we made months ago.

SpaceDad: this is all rather bizarre.

CinnamonRoll: uh guys? I hate to interrupt this .. touching moment, but Lance and I are literally outside of the cell trying to break in and you're just ignoring us.

ThatOneGuyWithAMetalStick: Oh, sorry about that. Let me help you out real quick.

CinnamonRoll: Thank you! I though I'd have to leave you guys ..

SpaceDad: wait what?

CinnamonRoll: Nothing!

Read at 2:54am

~~~~~~

(just 666 more words to go, well technically it's 647 words now. (643)

~~~~~~

RatQueen: uhh .. guys?

Read at 4:23am

RatQueen: why are you guys leaving me on read?

ConnamonRoll: oh. My. Gosh. I am so sorry Allura! We completely forgot about you ..

RatQueen: why did you leave me on read for like, 2 hours then??

Sharpshooter: I'm really sorry Allura, I saw your text but ignored it because we were in the middle of a high speed chase down the streets of Chicago T-T

RatQueen: Lance, where exactly are you? Because I know for a fact that you live in Cuba, and Chicago is nowhere near Cuba, it's a 6 hour flight and I'm guessing you probably don't have a plan ticket.

Sharpshooter: Well .. the jail break went terribly, we ended up getting arrested and shipped away to a higher security prison in Chicago. Not to worry though! We all convinced Shiro to spend his hard earned money to take up back to our houses.

RatQueen: where are you right now then?

Sharpshooter: look outside your window

RatQueen: .. what?

§———§

*swirly things*

§———§

Knock

Knock

Knock

"Are you kidding me. They really-? Stupid.. idiots, uhg!" Allura mumbles as she stomps to her front door before aggressively swinging it open.

"If I get arrested for harboring fugitives I'm going to start killing" Allura grits out as she stares at the rag tag group of young adults.

Lance waves awkwardly, Shiro just .. looks really tired. Pidge rapidly types something into her iPhone, probably coming up with a cover story for the group while Hunk attempts to hide behind Matt (and faking miserably) who hides behind Keith, who's currently having a staring match with the pet rats Allura had on her shoulder. And Coran- wait ..

"Where's Coran?" She asks suspiciously.

"Going to the restroom." Pidge replies, eye not leaving her electronic device.

Allura raises an eyebrow.

"Where"

"What do you mean where?" Lance asks nervously.

"Where did he go? It's not like there are bathrooms just planted every 100 feet." Allura rolls her eyes.

".. I told him I wouldn't tell you, but he's in your backyard peeing in a bush."

"WHAT? I can't even do anything because he's already peeing! It's not like I can stop him!" Allura throws her hands up in frustration.

"Just get inside" Allura grabs Lance by the arm before motioning everyone else to come inside.

"Waiiiiiit foooorrr meeee" Coran slips into the house just before Matt closes it on him.

"Your in trouble mister, go to your room!" Allura points to her spare room.

"Yes ma'am" Coran sniffles before walking into the room, head hanging lowly.

"Is everyone here?" Pidge asks looking around at everyone.

"Here." Lance raises his hand.

"Present" Shiro raises his hand from his land back position on the couch.

"I'm here as well" Coran yells from the bathroom.

"Here" Keith sighs tiredly.

"What he said" Matt mutters pointing at Keith.

"Here" Hunk grins, Allura smiles softly as he's the only one who doesn't look like they just went to hell and back.

"Here" Pidge raises her hand.

"That's everyone. Well, what now? We've gotten ourselves into quite the predicament. Actually, you guys got me into the predicament along with yourselves.

"And it wasn't even our fault! .. the first time" Lance cries before muttering that last bit more to himself.

"Aaaand, boom! We're no longer criminals." Pidge cheers from her spot next to ShIro. -who she was leaning up against-

"What..?" Keith deadpans.

"I just hacked whoever is keeping our records, currently, nobody here has ever committed a crime before." Pidge smirks cooly.

"Wow .." Shiro sighs dreamily.

"Can I come out now??" Coran yells from the bathroom.

Slavs head pokes out from the ceiling fan, how? I have no idea. "NO, if you come out now it will cause a catastrophic failure in this timeline, you'll all be arrested when Allura makes a ruckus yelling at Coran, which causes the neighbors to call the police -because it sounds like somebody is being murdered- the police that come just so happen to be the police that arrested you earlier and they'll recognize you! So no, you can't come out."

"Nope! I'm done, DONE." at this point, Allura is done, she makes her way out of the house, handing the keys to Shiro on the way out.

"I don't want your house .. never mind, I'll take care of it for you for now." Shiro start before quickly backtracking at the Allura sends him.

"Can I come out now?" Coran asks from the bathroom.

"No!" Slav yells, still hanging from the fan.

"Oookay .." Coran mutters, messing with some toilet paper.

Shiro watches out the window as Allura backs out of the driveway and leaves,

"Well, this plan failed." Pidge sighs

"I guess we'll have to move onto the next house." Lance sighs from his seat.

"No, nope I'm not doing that, I'm staying right here." Matt yells, eye half lidded from his spot in the couch, orange juice in hand.

"I guess we're not leaving" Keith sighs. "Once he sets his mind to something there's no talking him out of it."

There's an awkward silence before:

"Okay, I guess I just .. have Allura's house now." Shiro motions to the keys in his hand.

"We should totally trash her house." Lance giggles evilly, thinking about all the ways he can ruin Allura's house.

"No, if you do that, a vortex on the north side of the house will open up, sucking us all into a different dimension where we won't remember this life."

Lance slowly knocks over a nearby lamp.

CRASH!

WOOOSH!

Suddenly a large portal opens, sucking them all in, before closing, never to be seen again.

"Breaking news! A house in Arizona has disappeared! Along with multiple young adults. Will they be found? Find out next time!"

The End.

——————————————

Holy- I finally finished! Yes!! Oh mah gawd, that took forever. I'm tired now. Ima go, I hope you enjoyed, vote if you want, I recommend you do since I create beautiful works of art like this for you. Also I'm really proud of myself, so yeah.

Green-Bean ØUT!

(6000 words, not, counting all the intermission, the info, and the outro. If I do count them, then the word count is like 6156)