always be kinder than you feel

The sound of vibrating echoed through the silent room. It continued on and on until it stopped for a moment, but the silence only lasted a good thirty seconds before it began again.

Finally, Noelle was brought out of her slumber with the next echo of vibrations. She felt around until she grabbed the ringing phone, her eyes widening as she saw Sarah's name flash across the screen.

"Shoot!" She exclaimed, sitting up from her spot. Sliding her thumb across the bottom of the screen, she quietly exited the bedroom and walked down the hall. "Hello?" She asked quietly, holding her phone to her ear with both hands.

"Elle! I thought you were coming over?" Sarah immediately asked, "I've called you like a million times."

"Yeah, yeah I'm still coming over," Noelle quickly responded. She glanced back for a moment, "I just had a busy night and slept in."

"Busy night? Doing what?" Sarah asked, "Were you up all night practicing again? I mean you're already perfect at dancing as is, Ellie, I don't think you need to break yourself trying to practice for a show you've already got in your back pocket."

Noelle's first instinct was to deny it, but then she remembered her conversation with JJ the night before. They'd agreed to keep their friendship a secret, which meant she couldn't tell Sarah - despite her being her best friend.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I just got a little worried." Noelle shrugged. She'd let Sarah think that's what she'd been doing, even if it was the opposite.

"Well, I'm glad you got the part. I should've stayed to talk to you about it but Topper was rushing me to leave so I didn't get to make sure you got home safe. Sorry about that," Sarah apologized. "Sometimes Topper can be a little too much."

"No, you don't need to apologize. It's okay." Noelle softly smiled. She leaned against the wall, putting her weight against it as she twirled her hair between some of her fingers.

"I'm still sorry either way," Sarah mumbled. "Are you ready? Rafe and I can be there in like five minutes if you're-"

"No!" Noelle quickly exclaimed, cutting the blonde off. "I mean, I can be ready but I'm going to need more... time." Her eyes darted from her bedroom door to the floor in front of her, her cheeks going red at the thought of them showing up instantly.

"Yeah, no worries girl." Sarah laughed on the other end, "How long do you need?"

"Give me like an hour... and a half. Yeah. An hour and a half." Noelle nodded to herself, "I need to shower I'm like really gross and haven't showered."

"Will do. I'll let you go then so you can get ready, Rafe and I will be there then." Sarah chirped, "See you soon!"

Noelle didn't care to respond, quickly hitting the red button. She sighed as she held her phone close to her chest, shutting her eyes momentarily. She was a horrible liar, and she knew this, and the last thing she needed was for Sarah or someone else to catch her in such a random lie.

She took in a few deep breaths before making her way back into her bedroom. The moment she arrived she paused, looking at the boy who'd fallen asleep in her bedroom the night before.

JJ Maybank lay on the bean bag in her room, curled up as she peacefully slept. It wasn't the biggest bean bag, but enough to where he could curl up to it and fall asleep - which is exactly what he did. Noelle almost didn't want to wake him, but she knew she only had an hour and a half before Sarah and Rafe showed up at her house.

That was the last thing they needed, especially after their agreement last night.

Not to mention, her parents would be back at any moment today. It was rare they'd be home so early, especially when they were gone on their overnight trips, but she knew that they didn't always announce their arrival back. If they were to catch a boy - a boy such as JJ, being a pogue and all - they would be very angry.

Well, her father would. Her mother was more indifferent, considering she constantly went to Heyward's shop on the other side of town. But she'd probably still be upset, just more so at the fact that Noelle had a boy in her room at all.

She drew in a breath, awkwardly walking over to the bean bag where he slept. She knelt down on the ground, setting her phone on the floor before reaching her hand out. She hesitated but eventually just touched JJ's arm gently, shaking him in the slightest to wake him.

"JJ," She softly spoke.

The boy didn't stir at first. She bit her lip as she continued to lightly shake at him, her brows pushing together. "JJ," She said louder.

Finally, JJ stirred. He began to wake up, stretching his body. As he did this Noelle pulled her hand away, resting in her lap as she patiently waited for the boy to wake up. He looked around, confused at first before his eyes finally landed on Noelle. "Did I fall asleep? What time is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

Noelle softly smiled at him, "We both did. Slept through the night, actually. Sorry if you had somewhere to be." Pulling herself from the floor, she grabbed her phone before standing up straight. "I- I actually have plans, so I had to wake you. Sorry it it was sudden."

"No worries," JJ spoke with a yawn, pulling himself off of the bean bag chair. He stood directly in front of Noelle at this point, towering over her easily. "You're busy and I've already taken so much of your time."

"I had fun," She assured him. "I definitely had the best night I've had in a while. It was different, and I liked it."

JJ blushed at her admission. He didn't say anything though, feeling too awkward to respond. "I should- I should probably get going. You got a ride to get where you're goin' to?" He motioned, pulling his shoes on.

"Yeah. Rafe's going to bring Sarah by in about an hour to get me," She spoke softly.

JJ paused at the mention of the Cameron boy. He didn't let his feelings show, however, and instead just smiled softly. "Right. Rafe."

"Yeah," Noelle breathed. She didn't catch the jealous tone JJ used, her mind busy with thoughts of the day. "I made plans with Sarah and Rafe or Topper are usually our ride." It was an explanation - one she didn't need to give. But she did, and it slightly calmed JJ's jealous feelings.

"Well, I should leave you to it then." JJ smiled at her. 

Noelle nodded, "Let me walk you out." She awkwardly offered. She threw her phone on the bed as JJ picked his backpack up from the ground. 

"Yeah, that'd be- that'd be cool." JJ awkwardly responded.

He waited for Noelle to lead the way, following her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She paused as they approached her front door before finally unlocking it and opening it, the sunlight filtering in almost immediately.

It was silent between the two. Although JJ was supposed to easily say goodbye and leave, he didn't want to. He'd had so much fun at her house, spending time with her that although he knew eventually he'd have to go - he didn't want to. Even though he had his own friends to hang out with - friends that he loved - he didn't want to leave. Noelle helped her forget, and the thrill of them being each other's secrets made it all that more enticing.

"Thank you for staying, it really helped a lot." Noelle finally spoke, "It made me realize how nice it is not to be alone all the time."

"Well, you know how to find me. Whenever you need me just give me a call." He smiled down cheekily at her. "I'll be here."

Noelle couldn't help but playfully roll her eyes at him. "You're only saying that to be nice. But yes, thank you."

JJ nodded, finally going to leave. Just as he stepped through the door, he turned back to the dark-haired girl. "Also, just so you know-" He started, looking Noelle up and down. 

Noelle didn't say anything, waiting for him to speak up. He noticed her silence and cleared his throat before continuing. "That- that party that Rafe mentioned? The beach one." He pointed a finger before wiping it across his mouth. "I'll be there, just so you know. So if you do happen to change your mind - no pressure, by the way." He rambled for a moment before continuing, "If you find yourself there I might just say hi."

Noelle nodded, unsure of how to respond. He just winked in response before turning and finally leaving, making his way to the side of the house to grab his dirt bike.

The girl's cheeks flushed pink as she shut the door, locking it. She turned and leaned against it for a moment with a big smile covering her cheeks, small memories of her night with JJ flooding her mind.

Although they'd spent the entire night a good distance apart, she felt closer to him. She couldn't explain why and probably sounded like a sociopath, but she didn't care. It wasn't like she had to explain herself to anyone anyway, considering nobody would know about this.

Noelle rubbed her cheeks, hoping to rid them of the redness. She pulled herself from the door and made her way back into her bedroom, gathering her things to go take a shower.

Once she was in, she took her time. She rested under the hot water for a while, allowing it to freely cascade down her body. It stung in a good way. She needed this, especially after her long hard days of practicing her ballet. She usually practiced daily, and when she didn't practice ballet she practiced something else. Whether it be a quick workout, swimming, or even some other sort of dance routine - she kept herself active. Not including her practice yesterday she hadn't actually done anything, her time being consumed with none other than JJ Maybank.

After her long shower, she took her time in getting ready. She dried herself off and studied herself in the mirror, as she always did. After putting on her bra and underwear she stared with disgust at the ugly scar on her side, painful memories flooding her mind.

That's how it always went, so this was nothing new. When she was done criticizing her features and her scar, she dressed in something that covered her body enough and was still comfortable enough to lounge in if needed. 

By the time she'd dressed, the doorbell rang. She hadn't intended to take that long getting ready, but between having to wake JJ up, saying goodbye, and getting ready - time flew by.

She quickly made her way downstairs, wasting no time in unlocking and opening the front door. The sunlight filtered in as she came face to face with both Sarah and Rafe, Topper nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," She breathed out, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry. I'm almost ready."

"No worries," Sarah quickly said in response. "Mind if we wait inside then?"

"No, yeah, of course!" Noelle quickly mumbled. She stepped to the side and allowed the siblings to come in, averting her eyes once Rafe looked down at her.

Once they were in she shut the door, clearing her throat. "I'll be but two minutes."

She didn't wait for a response before booking it back to her bedroom. She quickly finished getting ready, her pace much quicker than only moments before they showed up. By the time she got downstairs, Sarah was rambling on about something to Rafe.

"Ready, sorry." Noelle quickly apologized.

"You have a guest over?" Rafe asked before Sarah could say anything.

Noelle's brows pushed together and her face immediately turned red. Had she already been caught? Did they see JJ leaving her house?

"W-what?" She asked softly.

Sarah rolled her eyes, "He's being weird. He saw the leftover pizza and assumed." She looked at him as she said the last word. "It's like he doesn't realize us girls eat just as much as men, if not more."

"But there are two plates, Sarah, does she really need two plates for herself?" Rafe asked, looking at his younger sister.

Noelle turned and glanced into the kitchen, seeing the dirty dishes from the night prior. She shut her eyes for a moment as she thought, quickly turning back to the siblings. "No, that's what my parents made last night." She smoothly lied, the quickest and best lie she probably could have come up with.

Sarah's brows pushed together as did Rafe's, although Sarah's confused face fell almost as soon as it appeared. "They actually cooked last night? That's telling. We should get going though, we have lots to do today."

"Yeah, we should." Noelle quickly mumbled out.

Sarah smiled as she looked from Noelle to Rafe. "Great!" She didn't wait before making her way out of the house, the other two following behind as well.

Noelle fell behind to lock the house up, not expecting to see Rafe standing on the porch waiting for her as she did so. She jumped back in surprise, her blue eyes wide. "H-hey," She stuttered.

Rafe smiled softly, "Thought I'd wait for you."

"Right," Noelle mumbled, standing straight. She began to pass him but he gently grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"How come when we were on the phone yesterday you lied to me?" He asked.

"W-what?" Noelle stuttered, looking at Rafe.

"When you said you had to go, you clearly didn't shower when you showered today." He pointed at her wet hair. "Were you- were you busy with someone?"

"What? No." Noelle immediately denied, her nose scrunching up. "I just- I bathed last night but wanted to shower now."

Rafe frowned. It was obvious that Noelle didn't realize that he had been in the same room as Sarah, hearing her entire conversation with the shorter girl before they came to get her. He heard her say she hadn't showered, which to him only meant that she was hiding something.

He eyed her suspiciously, finally giving up at the thought for now. "Yeah, right. Sorry." He let her go.

Noelle immediately put a bit more distance between the two of them, nodding. "I get gross a lot, Rafe. I shower a lot. I'm a dancer."

"Right," He curtly responded. "We should get going before Sarah freaks."

He didn't wait for a response before stepping off of the porch and down the front stairs. Noelle followed with flustered cheeks, scolding herself for not being more careful.

They'd agreed it was a secret, yet she'd already almost blown it at least five times by now.

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Hey guys <3 Sorry for lack of updates, been busy!