︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I'm not the same as before
I don't feel anymore
Tell me, am I ever gonna feel again?
Tell me, am I ever gonna heal again?

-Shot glass of tears-JK-

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The next morning, the sun cast a soft, golden light through the hospital room's windows, bathing everything in a gentle glow. Minho sat in the same couch he had occupied the previous night, having managed to catch a few hours of restless sleep on the uncomfortable couch. The room was quiet except for the faint sounds of hospital life from the corridor.

Hana stirred, her eyes slowly opening to the warm morning light. She blinked sleepily, her gaze landing on Minho, who was still seated beside her bed. His presence was a comforting constant, and she managed a small smile as she woke.

Minho noticed her movement and immediately straightened in his chair.
 "Good morning," he said softly, trying not to startle her.

"Morning, sorry, did I wake you up? Just go back to sleep if you need to,"
Hana murmured, her voice still heavy with sleep as she noticed Minho stirring in his chair.

Minho, who had been half-asleep with his head tipped back, blinked and shook himself awake. "No, it's fine. I've been up for a while. I wanted to make sure you were okay when you woke up."

Before Minho could respond, a gentle knock sounded on the door.
The nurse entered, her demeanor as warm and professional as ever.
"Good morning, Hana. How are you feeling today?

The nurse checked Hana's vitals and reviewed her chart.
"That's great to hear. We're preparing for your discharge later today. I'll make sure everything is in order for when you head home."

"Ah yes, I've been expecting that."

"Mr.Lee, does Hana know?"

"Does Hana know... what?"
She asked confusedly.

"Not yet, I'll talk to her soon."
Minho ignored Hana.

"Okay, there's no rush, we have all day. For now, let's just focus on how to dress her wounds."

The nurse was gently preparing the supplies for dressing Hana's wounds, while Minho stood by Hana's bedside.

Hana, now more awake and alert, sat up in bed with the help of the nurse, who adjusted the pillows to ensure she was comfortable. Minho, his sleeves rolled up and his hands steady, approached with a fresh bandage in hand.

Minho carefully removed the old bandage from Hana's arm, his movements gentle and deliberate. As he peeled it away, he winced slightly at the sight of the wounds underneath, the bruises and cuts marking the aftermath of her distress.

The nurse stood by, her gaze compassionate but professional as she observed Minho's technique. "You're doing well. Make sure to clean the wounds thoroughly to prevent any infection."

Minho took a deep breath, trying to steady his hands. He carefully cleaned the area with antiseptic, his touch light and careful. Hana flinched slightly at the sting but tried to remain still.

"Sorry if this stings a bit," Minho murmured, glancing up to meet Hana's eyes.
"I'm trying to be as gentle as possible."

Hana nodded, her voice soft.
"I know. It's okay."

Once he had cleaned the wounds, Minho gently patted the area dry with a clean gauze. He took a fresh bandage and began to apply it, ensuring it was secured properly without causing any discomfort.

"Perfect, at this rate she'll heal in no time, so don't worry too much" 
The nurse encouraged.

He flashed a small smile towards the nurse, who was preparing to leave now. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"Does Hana know what yet?"
She said suddenly.

"I'm sorry? What-"

"What did you want to tell me about?"

"Right, right- Sorry."

"Tell me now?"
She asked as she tilted her head.

"They're arranging for you to see a psychiatrist," Minho explained gently.
"Just a therapist, nothing too intense. It's meant to help you through everything you've been dealing with."

Hana's brows furrowed slightly. "Is that why they called you last night?"

"Yeah," Minho confirmed.
"But I want to make sure you're okay with it. You're not going to refuse, are you?"

Hana took a deep breath, considering his words.
"Do you think...I need it?"

Minho's eyes softened with concern.
 "I want what's best for you. If not accepting all the help available is harmful, then yes, I believe it's necessary."

Hana's gaze was steady as she spoke.
"What if I try to get better on my own first? And if it doesn't work out, then I'll agree to therapy?"

Minho shook his head gently, his expression firm but understanding.
"I'd rather not wait for 'if it doesn't work out.' I need you to be confident about whatever decision you make."

Hana nodded slowly, her voice quieter now.
"Okay."

"To what?"

"I'll take up therapy, can't be that bad."

"Hana, there's something I want to ask."

"About?"

"About the past few weeks, about yesterday, about everything."

"I know- I know you have questions."

"But, I won't push you again. I'll drop the topic as soon as you say no."

"Right."
She played with her hands, her gaze away from him.

"Later then. Whenever you're ready."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Minho was preparing to leave the hospital, his mind running through a checklist of things he needed to do. He had planned to head home to freshen up and change into clean clothes, go to the gym because he was MIA for an entire day and he guessed everyone over there responsible for him would be worried. 

On top of that, he had been worrying about his cats. Fortunately, he had thought ahead and sent Jisung over to take care of them the previous night.

"Jeongin will be here soon, Seungmin will join you two later."

"Will you be here when they ready me to go home?"

Minho paused and turned back toward her, his expression gentle.
"Depends, do you want me here?"
He teased nonchalantly.

"Of course I want you here."
She scoffed at his antics.

"You idiot, of course I'll be here. I wouldn't miss it."

He gave her a reassuring smile before slipping out of the room.

"Stupid."
She whispered to herself as she laid back on her bed, closing her eyes.

A few minutes later, Jeongin tip-toed inside realizing that Hana was asleep. He quietly settled on the couch right beside her texting someone on his phone.

Minhoe (Hyung)

I'm here, she's asleep

Delivered: 12:10pm

Seen: 12:15pm

Good, let her sleep

I'll be late, but if anything
happens or if you suddenly
have to leave, just call me.

Delivered: 12:15pm

Seen: 12:16pm

Yeah sure, but I took care of
everything before i came
so i doubt ill have to go
anywhere

Delivered: 12:16pm

Seen: 12:16pm

good thing you did

Delivered: 12:16pm

Seen: 12:16pm

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"You sure you'll be okay when you go home right?"
Jeongin asked since she'd woken up almost half an hour ago.

"Jeongin, don't worry."

"You're not making my worries any less by giving me an answer that not a 'yes or 'no'."

"I'll try. I can't be okay just like that, you know?"
She said quietly.

Jeongin's eyes softened, his tone growing more earnest.
"I didn't say that to make you feel bad, Hana. I'm just glad you're here right now. But I'm scared about when you go home. You're usually alone, and with Minho busy, me and Seungmin both having our own jobs, I worry."

Hana's eyes met his, filled with a mix of resignation and resolve.
"I just can't promise I'll be okay just like that. I can't make promises I'm not sure I can keep."

Jeongin took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Just... stay alive. That's all I ask for. Ask for help when you need it. It could be anyone, especially Minho."

"And why is that?"

"He's more reliable, he cares."

"You do too."

"I don't think there's anyway else to put it, but have you seen how much and the way he cares?"

"I don't see a difference, it's all the same, the three of you."

"You've got to be kidding me. How do you not see it? The way that Minho cares is different from how we care. We care in a more, how do I put this- brotherly-friendly way?"

"And how does he care?"

"Definitely not brotherly- or even friendly at that."

"You're letting your imagination run wild, Innie."
She said in denial.

"Well, that's besides the point. He's closer to you, he lives with you. It's easier for you to reach out to him. So promise you'll do that."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Jeongin fell asleep on the couch a few hours later, since he said he'd been awake since early in the morning so he could be here as soon as possible. But just as I was scrolling through my phone, Seungmin called me saying he was near my favorite restaurant and asking me whether I wanted a small snack or even a meal.

"I already had food though."

"Can you even call it food Hana? It's bland as fuck."

"Fine, I'd like spicy rice cakes."
I conceded.

"What about dessert?"
Seungmin asked, almost too cheerfully.

"Stop spoiling me, or I'll get used to it,"
 I warned.

Seungmin laughed.
"I could get used to this too, though it might be a bit hard on my bank account."

"Seungmin, stop playing around and just bring the rice cakes,"
I said firmly.

"But I'm getting choco pies for all of us. If you don't want yours, I'll eat it for you,"
Seungmin said.

In 20 minutes, at around 6:40pm Seungmin was here and Jeongin was up.

"When's Minho going to be here?"
I inquired.

"Someone's eager to see him."
Jeongin teased.

"Jeongin, stop that."

"Tell me later?"
Seungmin whispered and nudged Jeongin playfully.

"Obviously."
He whispered back.

"He's a little busy, but he'll be here by the time you're ready to leave."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Seungmin and Jeongin said they wanted to get some fresh air, and she understood, staying in a hospital room can be quiet overwhelming and stuffy.

She decided it was the perfect time to clear her thoughts.

Can you get Dr.Shin for me?
She asked the nurse after she'd called her.

"I definitely could, but she hasn't clocked in yet."

"Please ask her to visit as soon as she can."

An hour later, Dr. Shin walked into the room.
"You asked for me? Is everything okay?"
Dr. Shin inquired, her eyes scanning Hana's face with concern.

Hana took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions.
"I've been better—or worse," she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper.

Dr. Shin nodded understandingly.
 "It's okay. Just take a deep breath, collect your thoughts, and remember, you can ask me anything. I'll do my best to help you out."

Hana looked down at her hands, her fingers fidgeting nervously.
 "All I want to know is... is it over for me? I know I tried to end things, but I survived. Now I have to face everything again, and it feels like things are worse than before."

Dr. Shin's expression softened, and she took a moment before responding.
"Hana, it's not over. Surviving means you still have a chance to make things better. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially after such a traumatic event. But it's important to remember that healing is a process, and it often takes time."

She continued, her voice gentle and reassuring.
"You're not alone in this. We'll be here to support you, and the therapy we're planning will help you work through these feelings. It's about taking one step at a time and allowing yourself to heal at your own pace."

Hana looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of hope and doubt.
 "But what if I can't get better? What if it just gets worse?"

Dr. Shin gave her a comforting smile.
"It's natural to have fears about the future, but remember, every step you take towards getting help is a step towards healing. The support we're providing, including therapy, is designed to give you the tools and resources to work through these challenges. It's a journey, and you don't have to face it alone."

Hana nodded slowly, absorbing Dr. Shin's words. 
"I still feel numb. Towards all this. I can't lie, I still don't feel like living. I do understand how much it affects people around me and trust me, I do care, but just this once, I want to be selfish."

Dr. Shin's voice was gentle but firm.
"You don't have to have all the answers right now, and you don't have to be okay immediately. It's perfectly fine to take things one day at a time. Death is not the answer, Hana."

Hana nodded, a small, hesitant smile beginning to form.
"Thank you. I'm not sure if Minho, the one who stayed here last night- informed you, but I'll comply. With the whole therapy thing, I'll do it."

Dr. Shin placed a reassuring hand on Hana's shoulder.
"That's all we ask. We're here to support you every step of the way. If you have any more questions or need to talk, don't hesitate to reach out."

Hana managed a small, appreciative smile. "Thank you, Dr. Shin."

"You're welcome,"
Dr. Shin said softly, before leaving the room.

As Dr. Shin made her way to the door, Hana took a deep breath, attempting to steady her emotions. Just as Dr. Shin exited, Jeongin and Seungmin walked in, their faces brightening with concern as they saw her.

"Hey, Hana," Jeongin said softly, his eyes searching her face for any signs of distress. 
"Why was the doctor here?"

"Oh it's nothing, just somethings I needed to clear."

Seungmin's concern was evident as he pressed further.
"And those things are?"

Hana took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. 
"I'm getting therapy apparently."
At least she dint lie, she just dint tell the whole truth.

"Hana, that's-"
Jeongin couldn't even form a sentence after hearing her.

"-Amazing. Minho told us about this and he thought you'd say no."
He completed it for him.

Jeongin nodded in agreement, visibly relieved. "Yeah, we were all a bit worried."

Hana simply nodded in response. What else could she do? Her emotions felt like a tangled mess, and words seemed inadequate. 

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

a/n: Minho's bday is in a week and half if I'm not wrong?
I DONT KNOW WHY IM SO EXCITED IM NOT EVEN GONNA BE WITH HIM (excuse my delusions)
(im going to try and update tomorrow- no promises though <333)