︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I'll come find you even during dark nights
Because you might be hiding somewhere in my dreams
As I hold you tightly in my hand, sometimes, I cut my hand
But I don't mind the sharp pieces

-Pieces of a puzzle-Straykids(KS,CB)-

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I felt myself come back to my senses, though this time my head throbbed with an intensity that made every movement feel like a struggle. As I opened my eyes, the world around me was a blur of muted colors and unfamiliar shapes. My vision swam, and I squinted against the harsh brightness that seemed to seep through my closed eyelids even when they were open.

The room was dimly lit, but the soft beeping of machines and soft snores could be heard. My body felt heavy, as if weighed down by an invisible force. The sensation of tangled sheets beneath me and the sterile smell of the hospital room only heightened my disorientation.

It took me a moment to recognize the silhouettes of people nearby. Their tired, tear-streaked sleepy faces came into view as my vision cleared slowly.

 I tried to look around the room, trying to make out what time it was. There was a digital clock on the wall with red digits and a black body, which read 5:43pm. I realized I must have been out for a long time, no wonder everyone was so deeply asleep. My head still throbbed, and I could see the events of the day flash before me as I squinted my eyes close.

I took a deep, shaky breath, my chest rising and falling with a rhythm that felt foreign. Despite the throbbing pain and the disorienting haze, I felt more grounded than I did the first time I woke up.

I tried to move my hand, but the effort was met with a dull ache. I mustered all the strength I had left and managed to reach out, but I realized the grip of Minho's hand.
 His grip tightened instinctively, and he switched the position of our hands beneath his head and went back to sleep.

I could see the faint lines of exhaustion on his face, softened now by the peacefulness of his sleep. The sight of him—vulnerable yet steadfast—brought a small measure of comfort amidst the throbbing pain in my head. The room, though filled with the soft beeps of medical equipment and the occasional shuffle of a nurse outside, felt warmer and more reassuring with his presence. Seungmin and Jeongin were slouched in their seats, their heads tilted at uncomfortable angles as they slept fitfully.

I stayed awake, and although I must have looked calm and peaceful, I can't say the same about what went on in my mind. I tear escaped my eyes as I realized the fact that failed my attempt, now Minho had seen it, and I had brought Seungmin and Jeongin into the mess too. The realization that I had shocked them and exposed what I had worked so hard to conceal made my heart ache even more. 

As I lay there, trying to absorb the comfort of their presence, I couldn't help but feel guilty. They had stayed by my side through so much, sacrificing their own rest and peace for my sake. 

Even if my life wasn't that precious, I still didn't think it was a worthless life.
So why did I want to die?  I thought.

I sniffled, struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to spill, but it seemed my efforts weren't entirely successful. A soft rustle from the other side of the room caught my attention. Minho stirred, his eyes fluttering open. His face changed from confusion to concern , clearly having heard my quiet distress. His hand impossible tightened more around mine.

"Hana"
He said breathing heavily.
"You're awake."

I wiped my eyes quickly, trying to compose myself.
"Sorry for waking you," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.

He raised his hands to wipe my tears.
"How long have you been awake?"

I glanced at the same black clock,
"Half an hour."

Minho looked at me, concern etched on his face.
"Half an hour? Why didn't you wake us up sooner?"

I shrugged, trying to manage a weak smile.
 "I didn't want to disturb anyone."

The corner of his lips rose, just for a second, but I noticed.
"You scared me. Us."

"Why? Why didn't you let-"

"Shush, please," he interrupted, holding up a hand.
"Don't ask those questions right now."

At that, Seungmin and Jeongin stirred from their spots.

"Hana," Seungmin said, rushing from his cramped chair.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

I looked at him and then at Jeongin, who was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"I'm fine," I said softly.

Seungmin balled his fists, his voice breaking as he cried,
"What were you even thinking? Leaving without seeing us? Without saying goodbye? Screw that, how could you think of leaving?"

I shook my head, my own voice trembling.
"If I'd done that, I wouldn't have been able to leave."

"You're only smart in school. You're so, so stupid otherwise."
Seungmin embraced me.

"What am I going to do now? Fuck, I'm so screwed."
I said as I buried my head in his shoulder.

Jeongin placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"You're not screwed. We'll figure this out together."

"You've gotten a second chance. Please, give it another shot."
Minho begged.

I remained silent, struggling to find the right words. I wasn't making fake promises anymore.

"You don't have to say anything, it's alright."
Minho said soothingly.

"Shouldn't we call the doctor or something?"
Seungmin said.
"They should check her before the shift changes."

"Yeah, just press the button behind the bed."
Minho Instructed.

"There was a button here?"
Jeongin said, bewildered at the discovery.

"There's always a button there, what do you mean?"
I said, my a little hoarse.

Jeongin shrugged, feeling a bit sheepish.
"I didn't notice it. Instead I ran out to get doctors in the afternoon."

Seungmin shook his head and reached behind the bed and pressed the button.
Moments later, the nurse from before returned, her expression one of calm professionalism.
"Is everything alright?" she asked as she approached.

"She woke up. It's been 40 minutes, I think?"
Minho explained.

"We fell asleep and she woke up and never woke us up.

The nurse nodded, her expression understanding.
"I see. Let me have the doctor come in and check on her now."
She gave a reassuring smile before leaving to fetch the doctor.

"Do you have my phone?"
I asked.

"Yeah, yeah I actually do."
Minho said, pulling it out from his pocket.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

12 calls from Momsy

Momsy

Sorry mom.

I'm sorry for the way I reacted.
Delivered: 05:30am

It's my fault.

I wish I could've done better.
Delivered: 05:34am

Tell dad I'm sorry.

I wish i could be the daughter
you wanted me to be

I love you both.

Seen: 09:30am

We love you too.
Delivered: 09:34am

Your dad's not mad
anymore

Call us if you can?

Do you have anything for work today?
Delivered: 09:38am

No right? It's Sunday 

Maybe you're asleep

Hana I've told you wake up
early why don't you listen?
Delivered: 09:40am

Hana?
Delivered: 05:38pm

It's been all day, where
are you?
Delivered: 05:38pm

Are you out or something?

I know you can't stay away
your phone for so long
Delivered: 05:48pm

"Don't make a sound. I'm calling Mom, okay?"
I said to the three of them.

"Seriously? After everything you wrote in the letter—"

"Shh!"

📞Calling Momsy 📞

Hello? Hana, where have you been? 

Hi mom, I was busy, nothing really.

Doing what? I was a little worried seeing you texted me at 5:30 am in the morning.

I pulled an all nighter, that's all. I texted you before going to bed.

Isn't 5:30 too late Hana?

I couldn't sleep, so yeah.

Okay, I guess it's okay sometimes. But don't go back to your weird habits okay?
Don't skip meals and sleep and if you feel overwhelmed, you know how to deal with it.

Just then the door opened, a faint noise, and I was afraid my mom was going to catch on.

Are you out?

Yeah, the library at the hospital, needed some books.

That's nice.

I have to go now, is dad there?

Well your dad's not home for now, I'll tell him you called, okay?

"Okay yeah, well, if I don't pick up, don't be worried, I'm probably busy or at work.
I'll call you back if anything.

"Why'd you lie? Just tell them you're here at the hospital."
Jeongin asked.

"Jeongin, are you stupid? How is she supposed to explain all this to them?"
Seungmin hit his arm.

"Well, you'll tell them later right?"
Jeongin ignored Seungmin.

"No, no I won't."

"Give her a break, we'll deal with all that later."
Minho stopped them.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The doctor entered the room with a few nurses, but Hana face turned red and her hands were clammy.

"Dr.Shin."
She managed to say.

"I'm so happy you're awake."
She flashed a small smile.

"You're my attending doctor?"

"Yeah, you caused a bit of a commotion earlier in the afternoon, and when I found out it was you, I knew I had to help."

"Right,"
Hana said, her voice barely audible.

"What now?"
Minho asked.
"She's okay, right?"

"Hana's really strong. She's is going to be just fine."
Dr. Shin gave Hana's head a gentle, comforting pat.

"Does anything hurt?"

"Nothing does."

"You're telling me your wrist and arm don't hurt at all?"

"I can manage, it's not so bad."

"I want to check your wounds, is it okay if undo the dressing?"

"Go ahead."

Dr. Shin carefully unwrapped the bandages from Hana's wrist and arm, checking for any signs of infection or complications.
 "I need to make sure everything's healing properly," he explained gently.
"If anything's bothering you or if you feel any pain, let me know right away."

Hana winced slightly as the bandages were removed but tried to stay calm. Minho watched anxiously, his eyes flickering between Hana and Dr. Shin.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked softly, his concern evident.

Hana nodded.
"I'm okay, Minho."

Dr. Shin examined the wounds closely.
 "The healing is going well, but we'll need to keep an eye on it. I'll make sure to give you some additional medication to help with the pain and prevent any infection."

Everyone nodded profusely at this.

"Which one of you is staying the night here? Or if no one's staying, I can arrange someone to look after her."

"I'm staying"
Seungmin said.

"Me too."

"You two have work tomorrow."
I whispered.

"I can skip a few hours."
They unanimously said.

"Uh... let's take shifts. I'll stay the night, and either of you can stay the afternoon and evening."
Minho offered.

Dr. Shin considered this for a moment.
"If you're taking shifts, just make sure she's not left alone for too long." 

"I'll be here by 12pm"
Jeongin volunteered.

"I'll be here by 5-6pm then."
Seungmin agreed. 

"Okay, last thing now,"
Dr.Shin said,
"Hana I know you're used to dressing, but due to your current circumstances and the fact that you're lying in a hospital bed, I obviously cannot allow you to dress your own wounds. The nurses will be here to do it for the first few times, but once you're discharged, you'll need someone to do it for you."

"I'm listening, go on."
Hana said as Dr. Shin waited for her opinion.

"Which one of you is closest to her?"

"I-I live with her."
Minho said.

"Is it okay to assume that you'll be her caretaker for when she gets discharged?"

"Yes, its okay."

"Okay, I'm going to show you how to clean the stiches, so look carefully. And tomorrow morning when Nurse Jang comes to dress it again, do it in front of her, she'll guide you."

"Okay."

Dr. Shin demonstrated the procedure with clear instructions, showing Minho how to clean the area, apply new dressings, and secure them properly. He also pointed out signs of infection to watch for, explaining the importance of keeping the wounds clean and dry.

Looking at Hana's wounds would have been gore for many, like for Seungmin and Jeongin, who were brought to tears at the sight, so they turned away. Minho however, though he was brought to tears, kept listening to the instructions clearly, not wanting to miss out anything.

"Remember, Hana will need to come back for follow-up appointments," Dr. Shin concluded. "And if she experiences any new symptoms or increased pain, don't hesitate to contact us."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Once the doctors left, one of the nurses informed that they would soon serve Hana dinner. Upon this, all three of them realized how hungry they were.

"I'm starving,"
Jeongin said.

"Yeah, no shit, it's literally 6pm, we haven't had anything yet."
Seungmin retorted.

"What? How- why?"

"How were we supposed to eat after all that happened?"
Jeongin pouted.

"How about this, go down to the cafeteria, get yourselves food."
Hana offered.

"Are you sure?" Seungmin asked, his brow furrowing slightly

Hana gave a weak smile.
"I'm fine for now, so don't worry."

Seungmin and Jeongin still hesitated, their concern evident as they looked back at Hana. Minho, sensing their reluctance, stepped in with a supportive nod.

Jeongin's stomach growled in agreement, making him wince.
"Alright, we'll go, be back soon." 

As Seungmin and Jeongin began to leave, Hana noticed Minho's  presence beside her, his gaze unwavering and his posture relaxed. 

"Minho, are you not coming with them?"
 she asked, her voice gentle but curious.

Seungmin and Jeongin turned back, realizing that Minho had not followed them out.
 Seungmin raised an eyebrow, while Jeongin looked puzzled.

Minho glanced up from where he was sitting, his expression calm.
"I'm staying here," he said. "Just get me whatever you get."

Seungmin nodded, a look of understanding on his face.
"We'll be back soon."

As they left the room, the door softly clicking shut behind them, Minho took a seat beside Hana's bed. The silence in the room was punctuated only by the soft beeping of the monitors and the distant sounds of the hospital's nighttime activity.

"Lay down again, you must be tired."

She shook her head,
"I'm okay, not tired."

Minho's hand found Hana's almost instinctively, his fingers curling around hers with a firm, yet gentle grip almost as if he thought that he let them go, she'd try to leave again.

"Go wash your face, you have tear stains all over them."
She traced his face with her other hand as she held back tears.

"I know, but I don't want to leave you alone even for a second."
Minho whispered

"Why?"
she asked.

"I don't trust you, at all. The last time I left you, I found you almost dead."

Hana's eyes widened at Minho's confession, her own heart aching at the rawness of his words. She could see how deeply affected he was by the events, and it made her understand just how much he cared.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her voice trembling.
"I didn't mean to cause you so much pain."

"But you did, didn't you? Did you even think about how it would affect the people who care about you?"
 Tears streamed down his face again.

Hana knew what she did was wrong, so she didn't take the harshness to heart.

"I know, I didn't know what else to do."
Was all she could say.

"What if you really left, are you that stupid? Do you have any idea what that would have done to us?"

Hana looked away, the guilt pressing heavily on her.
"You would get over it. I wouldn't have to be in a hospital, healing from it."

"Except now I understand, I know what's wrong with you. You won't have to go through this alone. I'll be here to help you through whatever it is that drove you to such extremes."

"You read my letter?"

"No, I didn't. I want to hear it from you because you're still here, and that's all I could ever ask for."

Hana's eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat.
"Would you have read it... if I left?" 

"No, because I would never would have let it come to that."

"Part of me didn't want you to read it," she said softly, her voice trembling.
"I didn't want you to ever find out how much I was struggling."

"But I would find out, not because it would be inevitable, but because I want to know."

Hana felt tears welling up again, her emotions swirling with the weight of his words.
"I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to push you away with my pain."

Minho shook his head, a mix of sadness and determination in his eyes.
"You were never a burden."

Hana looked down at their intertwined hands, the warmth of his grip a comforting anchor in the midst of her turmoil. "I'm sorry for not reaching out, for trying to handle everything on my own."

"You know we care about you, right? So, so much. More than you realize.
I never want you to leave, never again."

Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up at him, seeing the raw emotion etched into his face.

"I didn't know you felt that way," she whispered, her voice trembling.
"I never meant to hurt you, or anyone."

"It's okay. You're here now, that's enough for me right now."

They gaze in each other's teary eyes, and it felt like time stopped only for the two of them, but then, the quiet intimacy of their moment was shattered by the sudden, sharp sound of the hospital room door swinging open. 

A nurse hurried in, her face set in a mask of professional concern.
"Food's here-"
She stopped as she sensed the sad aura erupting from the two.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt,"
she said gently, her voice now more tender as she took in the palpable sadness in the room.
She cast a quick, empathetic look at the pair, then at the food.
"I'll leave the food here and come back later with the doctor."

Both of them remained calm, trying to comprehend what the nurse was saying. They nodded before she left. He got up from where he sat, pulling the food tray from beside her to in front of her, arranging the food though his hands trembled slightly.

As Hana's hand reached out for the spoon, Minho gently but firmly placed his hand over hers, stopping her motion. His touch was soft, yet insistent, conveying both care and concern.

"Let me,"
he said quietly, his voice carrying a note of resolve. 

Minho's expression was tender yet determined, his gaze unwavering as he took the spoon from the tray. He began to serve the food, his movements careful and deliberate, as if he were trying to restore a sense of normalcy amidst the turmoil.

As Minho brought the food to her mouth, he glanced up at her, a small, weary smile touching his lips. She took a bite and he asked,
"Bland isn't it?"

"The worst part of this."
She replied.

"Hana, no way you just said that."
He said exagerrating.

"What? If I'm going to live, at least make the food edible."

"Please don't try making dark jokes"
He laughed

"But you're laughing, you psychopath."

"Seriously though," he said, shaking his head in mock exasperation,
"You're right. Hospital food is the absolute worst."

Minho's laughter, though strained, was genuine, and it broke through the tension that had settled between them. His smile widened as he continued feeding Hana, trying to keep the mood light despite the heaviness of their situation.

"I think they'll let me go tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"I mean, there's nothing else left to do, we usually discharge.... the people who attempt after making sure they aren't going to do it again."

Minho's hand paused mid-air, the spoon hovering just before Hana's lips. His expression grew somber as he absorbed her words.
"Right."

"Sorry, I ruined the mood." 

"Since you're telling me they'll let you go, you're also telling me..."

"That I probably won't do it again."
I completed his sentence.

"Because you're making me reconsider."
She thought.

"But you'll tell me if you feel like that ever again?"

"I don't know."
She said in her mind.

"I'll try Minho."

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

a/n: I hope she gets happier (not foreshadowing)

most chapters lately have been from 3rd POV, but i seem to like that better.