⚠️: attempted SH later 

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Minho POV:

As Jeongin said, she did fall asleep, well Seungmin was too, but he kept waking up. We waited until the movie was over and switched the TV off.

"I'll sleep in my room, you three sleep here comfortably, okay?"
I whispered.

"No, you have to sleep here, together, that's the whole point of a sleepover."

Jeongin said whispering back, aggressively.

"How do you think 4 are going to fit on this?"

"Unless you care about comfort, you'll fit just fine."

"You don't care about comfort?"

"It's just for one night"

"Fine, I'll sleep here."

"Like you had a choice. But yes, please sleep here."

I took one of the pillows Jeongin was handing me and put it under my head, until I noticed I didn't have a blanket, because a certain someone had pulled almost all of it to themselves.

"Seungmin don't be a blanket thief and share it with me"
I said tugging on the blanket

"Get another one, I can't share it"
He said groggily, pulling it all to him.

"You little- Fine, I'll get another one"
I said as I crawled to the corner of the makeshift bed, picking up the blanket that someone must've kicked sometime during the night.

I crawled back, went under the sheets, and fell asleep before I knew it.

Hana POV:

It's early in the morning, the sun shining through the window making it evident. I check my phone, it's exactly 9:00, almost as if my body had become its own alarm clock.
My brain was still lagging a little but I looked around me and saw, Jeongin sleeping holding one of Seungmin's arms.

Seungmin and Minho were all cuddled up together. I knew at some point during the night, I'd heard them squabbling for a blanket. Maybe this is how It ended.

I get up from bed slowly, with my phone in my hand, clicking a pic of the three.

I was definitely teasing the three with this later.

I go up to my room, pick out my clothes for the day and walk into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, avoided looking into the mirror because I knew I looked terrible. 

But it was inevitable, and I ended up looking up. My hair was unkempt, not taken care of and the ends were dying and in desperate need of a haircut, my lips looked dry, chapped and pale, and my face looked sullen.

I splashed water on my face, shaking off all the thoughts.

⚠️

I changed out of my clothes, and as my pants slip down, I stared at my thighs.
Ouch, they looked so hurt. I graze my finger over them, hissing over the touch, even when it wasn't a healing or fresh wound. Just the memories, the thoughts.

I'd remember the thoughts that I had before I dragged it, every time.
I was always reminded.

"Why did I do it? Am I really that weak?"
She whispered to herself.

"Yes, yes you are. You're not fine, you need it."
The voice in her head replied.

"I can breath properly, I'm fine. I don't need it."
"You're lying to yourself, you know deep down, you miss it."

"But I feel so guilty every time. I'm hurting myself."
"Cut the guilt crap, you almost deserve it."

I balled my hands into a fist, bringing them up to my head and opening them and hitting it.

"Stop it. Stop making it worse. Why won't it stop?"

"I'm a part of you. You either live with it, or maybe... maybe you don't."
"It's just one step away. Just one step. Just one drag or a fistful. You can end it."

"But I want to live."

"Do you though?"

"Fuck this."
I said reaching to the bathroom cabinet, digging under the towels to find that box of blades. I pulled it out in a hurry, desperately. My hands were shaking as I took one out, closing the box and throwing it somewhere on the floor. 

Just as I pricked my skin, my conscience that was suppressed woke up. Must be the pain that caused the sudden awakening, but staring at the blood that was oozing out of the small prick, distracted me.

"Don't do it. It's not worth it."

"But-"

"What if someone ever found out? The itching, think of how unpleasant it is. You'll have to keep cleaning it, and every time you look, you'll remember. Think how much it's going to hurt when you move, when you wear pants, the stinging when you take a bath."

"But it helps."

"Does it really? It would, but that's only for the time being, until the blood flows. All your left with is a scar and pain. And, you'll realize, it's not helping, it never did."

"Remember their face? If that was their worried reaction, imagine how broken it would be if they found out this. Do you want to keep lying to him, to everyone?"

"He can't find out."

"He will at the rate you're going. Not just the skipping meals, this too, eventually."

I dropped the blade immediately, I kicked it away, I held my head in my hand. Trying to focus on my breathing. But my chest felt like it was caging my lungs, I couldn't breathe.

"Breathe in, breathe out. Follow me"
Seungmin's voice repeated, from my memory.

I hugged myself. I wanted someone to hold me like that.
But I can't ask.
I don't know how to ask for help anymore.
I don't remember the last time I was held like that, gently, with love.

I struggled to walk, but I made it into the shower and ran the cold water. As the cold took over me, it distracted me, it caused discomfort, but I could breathe better. I calmed down. I slipped down, just sat under the running water, muffling my sobs.

"When is it my chance to be happy? Everything is much better now, so why am I still stuck here?"

Few minutes after loathing in self-pity, I got up, turned off the shower which was now warm.
It made me feel better, at least better enough to go out and face the three outside.
I could also not spend so much time inside, in case they were up, they'd search for me.

I picked up the box of blades, opened it and walked to another corner where I kicked the blade I was going to use, putting it back inside and hiding the box again.

I changed into the fresh pair of clothes, checked myself in the mirror.
Yeah it looks like I cried. I'll lie, I'll say I got soap in my eye.

I take a deep breath before I exit the bathroom and walked to the door to my room with a towel wrapped around my wet hair.

"Oh, Hana you're here."

I heard a groggy voice before I could I even look up to see who it was that was standing in front of me.

"Oh Minho, good morning."
I said smiling, if you couldn't already say, it was very fake.

"They woke up just a few minutes ago, and Jeongin asked where you went, so I said I'd check."
He said, rubbing his eyes with one hand, he must've just woken up.

"Right, I'll go to them. Are the cats okay?"
I asked, as I saw him holding a grey-white cat.

"They're perfectly fine, the other two are still sleeping, he was the only one awake and cleaning himself."

I reached my hand out to pet his head, but he hissed disapprovingly, and I withdrew my hand.

"Hey, that's mean."
He told the cat in his arms.

"He doesn't seem to like me; he did this yesterday too"

"He's like that with everyone new, feed him a few times, and he'll stick to you."

"You never told me their names"

"Ah, yes, that's right. Well, this one is Dori, he's the youngest. The other two are Soonie and Doongie."

"That's adorable."

"Uh, I'll just feed them and take a bath."
He said, dropping Dori inside his room, as I walked with him outside.

"Hey, wake up, wake up."
I said as energetically as I could. I could already feel dizzy.

"5 more minutes, please."
Seungmin said, getting up just for a second, but falling face forward on the pillow.

"No get up now, go take a bath"

"Too lazy, I'm going to bath when I go back home"
Jeongin said, just as groggily as Seungmin.

"You're not staying for breakfast?"

"Can't I eat breakfast without taking a bath?"

"Yang Jeongin stop playing around and get up."
He got up groaning, and said,
"Hana, you know what day it is?"

"It's Sunday. Yes, I know what day it is."

"And what time is it?"

"10:30, why?"
I said, checking my phone.

Also, wait, it was 10:30? It'd been that long?

"It's too early- Okay, fine, I'm getting up."

"Good, and once you're done, wake Seungmin up. I'm tired"

"But you just woke up?"

"Yes, I'm still tired, what's your point?"
I acted nonchalantly, as if there was nothing wrong with it.

He simply rolled his eyes, and walked into my room, to my washroom.

 As much as I'd love to avoid them going in there, we didn't have a guest washroom and Minho was using his.

No choice here.

Minho POV: 

"Minho hyung, wake up"
Jeongin said, shaking me.

"Why me? I want to stay in"

"Hana's not in bed, go check where she is."

"Again, why me? You go check. Besides, she probably woke up early."

"Get up, and wake us up when you're done getting ready."

"Jeongin-"
I said, opening my eyes, looking at a sleepy Jeongin
"FINE I'LL CHECK"
I was annoyed, if you couldn't say that.

I get up, stumbling still a little drowsy, I see that her door is shut. I knock on it, no reply. Maybe she's using the washroom.

I walk a few steps to my room and open the door, and I'm greeted by my two sleeping babies and one, who was awake.

"Oh Dori, did you miss me? Because i missed you"
I said, scratching behind his ear and picking him up. He purred in my arms as i pet him.
I guess he missed me after all.

Just as i turned, Hana's door opened, and she had her hair up in the towel.

"Oh, Hana you're here."
I said, even before she looked up.

I talked to her before i left to feed my cat's and eventually slipped into the bath.

A little later, Around 11:30am:

No one's POV:

Hana cooked eggs for everyone, since they only had ingredients for  a basic breakfast, with toasted bread and a cup of coffee. She herself ate, all though she wasn't sure what would happen later.

Would she be okay or would she throw up?

At least she was okay, for now.

It was almost 12pm when Jeongin and Seungmin decided to leave. 

When asked why they were leaving, they said,

"I'd love to spend the rest of the day with you, but we really have to go."

"But it's your day off?"

"There's a thing at the company, an inauguration for something new, and we need to be there."
Seungmin said.

 It's like a dinner, with a bunch of important people, so we need to go home and get ready."
Jeongin added.

"You should've told me that before. Have fun, okay?"
Hana said, before she reached in for a hug with them.

"Yeah, we will. We'll see you soon?"
Jeongin said sadly.

"Take care Hana, please."
Seungmin said, before they all pulled out of the hug.

"I will, don't worry."

She wasn't lying, well not completely. She was trying.

When it came to Minho, they did whatever guys do to say bye, the weird side hug and the Handshake dab? 

Is that what you call it? Well whatever it is, the Author clearly doesn't know. 

Maybe she should stop avoiding the male species all together because she thinks it's awkward.

Also when did this become a shade on the author?

An hour later.

Seungmin's Phone: 

Minho Hyung

It's seungmin.
Delivered 1:42pm

 whatever i told you about hana, dont let her know
i told you all that or she'd kill me
Call me or Jeongin if she acts weird.
Delivered 1:43pm

Seen 1:47pm

Who? Hana?
Also, describe weird?
Delivered 1:43pm

Seen 1:47pm

Yes, Hana you dumbass.
Sad, quiet, not eating.

And don't ask questions, just do this much.
Delivered 1:48pm

Seen 1:48pm

a little tricky

 but ill try my best
Delivered 1:48pm

Seen 1:48pm

Thanks

Also, keep her company whenever she's home
Delivered 1:49pm

Seen 1:49pm

That, I can do, very easy
Delivered 1:49pm

Bye, gtg  get ready
Delivered 1:49pm

Seen 1:49pm

What's gtg?
Delivered 1:50pm

Hey, answer me, i don't know what that means
Delivered 1:50pm

Seen 1:52pm

Got. To. Go.
Stop hanging out with Chan, his lack of genziness is rubbing on you
Basically you're getting old.
Delivered 1:53pm

Seen 1:52pm

I'm not old????
I could knock you out in one punch?

Seen 1:52pm

ttyl, gtg.
Delivered 1:53pm

Seen 1:53pm

AHA! I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.
But i don't like how it looks, it's scary
to see short forms.
Delivered 1:53pm

Bye Seungmin, ttyl to you too.
Delivered 1:53pm

Seen 1:53pm

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A/n: Hi my lovely reader, hope you're all doing well.

If you relate to anything happening in this story, I'm so sorry.
But trust me, it gets better- it's a phase of life, not your entire life.
Now, obviously, i don't know you, and i don't get to say anything about you.
But I've seen the (apparently) weakest people turn their lives.
No one is weak. Everyone is fighting a war within themselves.
Try and be one of them, them who win at the end of the line.
These scars, the hurt, the struggle- They're not weaknesses, they're signs that you made it through your darkest moments, that says everything it needs to, that you're brave, and strong.

stay safe, eat and drink well <3