︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

But when they're looking for a call, they wanna say hi
They wonder if the person they knew's still inside
Seems so simple, it's really so hard
But I don't want nobody to see my ugly heart
To see my ugly scars

-I don't think I'm okay- Bazzi-

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Minho stirred awake, a dull ache pulsing through his head. Sunlight streamed through the curtains, bright and unforgiving. He groaned and buried his face in the pillow, trying to recall the events of the previous night. All he could remember were snippets: laughter, friends, and then... nothing.

As he sat up, propping himself on his elbow, the room spun slightly. He paused to steady himself before glancing at his phone. 

9:30 AM.

He groaned again—too early for a weekend... Never mind, it was Friday today. He groans again, realizing that he missed morning jog.

"Hey Felix, wake up."
His voice hoarse and scratchy.

"What?"
His voice sounded deeper than ever.

"Don't you guys have work today?"

"No, no I don't. None of us do, because we worked on his Chan hyung's birthday, Pd-nim allowed us to take a leave."

"Sleep in then."

Now that he was up, he might as well make himself useful.

He glanced over at the bed, realizing he was in Chan's guest room, shared with Jisung and Felix. He nudged Jisung's leg and gently brushed Felix's hand away before stumbling toward the door, a mix of dread and determination propelling him forward.

After a quick splash of water on his face, he hit his cheeks lightly to wake himself up. The living room was empty when he stepped out, meaning everyone else was still asleep. With a small sigh, he decided to whip up breakfast, knowing no one else would be in any shape to do it.

He rummaged through Chan's fridge and started cooking a simple vegetable gravy to go with rice and whatever side dishes he could find.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 As the gravy simmered, he called out to his friends, his voice a mix of authority and playful annoyance.

"Hyunjin, Changbin—I've called you ten times now! I'm not coming back!"

"Five more minutes, Hyung! I'm tired!" came Hyunjin's muffled voice.

"I'll wake up after Hyunjin!" Changbin chimed in, still half-asleep.

"Jeongin, once you're done in the restroom, wake him up, okay?"
 Minho instructed gently, noting how sleepy the younger boy looked.

Jeongin nodded sleepily, trudging toward the bathroom.

"Oh, look! Seungmin and Chan are already here,"
Minho remarked with mock enthusiasm, spotting them curled up on the couch, shoulders pressed together in a peaceful slumber.
"Such an energetic morning."

"Are you always this active in the morning?"
Seungmin mumbled, eyes barely open.

"Yeah, I usually wake up at 7 to jog. Guess that says enough that I'm a morning person."

"What? Every day?"
Seungmin blinked in disbelief.

"Every day. Well, today was an exception. I need to get serious now."

"Oh right, your tournament is coming up. Sorry I can't make it,"
Chan said sheepishly.

"That's okay! It's just this once, right? You've always been there for my games."

"Ah yes, for the winning ones and the losing ones,"
Chan teased.

"Hey! I've only lost twice in my entire career!"
Minho shot back with mock indignation.

"But you played well in those matches, no matter the outcome,"
Chan replied, a warm smile on his face.

"I don't get it—one minute you're teasing me, the next you're my personal cheerleader?"
Minho laughed as he plated everyone's food.

"Well, I remembered your sulking face back then. You were so down, but you've made amazing progress since. You'll do well and get that gold medal again, I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, Chan. Don't worry about not being there; just your support means the world to me."

Minho flashed him a genuine smile, feeling a surge of gratitude.

"I want to get out of here; you two are being way too cheesy for this early in the morning," Seungmin groaned, feigning a gag as he tried to pull away from Chan's embrace. But Chan was stronger, and Seungmin quickly gave up, sinking back into the couch with a defeated chuckle.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The sound of rustling came from the couch as Seungmin finally disentangled himself from Chan, yawning widely.

"Okay, okay, I'm awake!" he declared, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, yes, me too," Chan replied, propping himself up as if on cue.

Chan ambled toward the coffee brewer just as Seungmin headed for the restroom.

Minho set the plates on the coffee table, the rich aroma of the vegetable gravy filling the air, mingling with the faint scent of freshly brewed coffee.

"Okay, everyone come eat!" Minho yelled, his voice echoing throughout the apartment.

Just then, Jeongin emerged from the bathroom, his hair sticking up in all directions.
"Did someone say food?" he asked, his eyes lighting up as he caught sight of the spread.

"You're welcome," Minho said, laughter bubbling up as he served the dishes.

One by one, all 8 of them were settled down with their plates, and as they dug into their breakfast, the chatter flowed easily, each bite sparking stories and laughter from the night before.

"Did anyone see Minho hyung play beer pong but missed the table completely?"
Jisung teased, smirking at Minho, who feigned offense.

"Of course, I was the one he hit"
Seungmin laughed.

"Hey!," Minho shot back, grinning.
"I was just testing, obviously."

"Right, and what a thorough job you did!" Hyunjin chimed in, chuckling.

Minho rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling at the shared memories.

After a few more rounds of playful teasing and reminiscing, Jeongin leaned back, his plate empty. "This is the best breakfast I've ever had. Seriously, you should open a restaurant, Minho!"

"Hey, I can't juggle two jobs!"
Minho laughed, waving a hand dismissively. "But I'm glad you enjoyed the food."

Changbin chimed in with a grin,
"If you ever did open a restaurant, it would definitely be a place where the portions are generous, and the service is... questionable."

"Hey, at least I can cook without burning down the kitchen! Unlike some people I know who can't even crack an egg without causing a disaster."
Minho shot back, a playful glint in his eyes as he pointed at Changbin.

"Excuse me! That was one time!" Changbin protested, feigning offense.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

@CB97_3racha

CB97_3racha Thank you all for making my 27th birthday a blast! 🎉
But what's a birthday party without pictures? So, here's a dump from last night! 📸✨

CB97_3racha mentioned hyunjin_hwang, sing.I.N.g and 5 others

liked by j.one_3racha, spearb_3racha and 1043 others

seungmin_inthebuilding WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT (1) PICTURE???
   hyunjin_hwang YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MEMORY EITHER? CUZ ME TOO
   CB97_3racha i don't think I've ever seen seungmin THAT drunk.

nottheactor.leeminho What am I doing in that picture?
   hana_banana I thought you were a boxer, not an acrobat
   nottheactor.leeminho haha very funny
   nottheactor.leeminho WAIT what are you doing here?
   hana_banana You and your friends are all over my feed what can I do?
   CB97_3racha Am I interrupting something?
   hana_banana Interrupting?
   nottheactor.leeminho Chan.
   CB97_3racha Sir yes sir 🫡🫡

hana_banana Should i be thanking you for the first picture?
   CB97_3racha Oh so you're hana
   hana_banana  I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean, but yes.
   I hope this wasn't weird or anything!
   CB97_3racha  Oh no don't worry, you're friends with like half my friend group, and if it makes       you feel better, I've heard about you, and besides you seem familiar for some reason.
   hana_banana well then, happy belated birthday!!!

@spearb__3racha

spearb__3racha Happy birthday kangaroo. Best leader <3

spearb__3racha mentioned j.one_3racha, CB97_3racha

liked by  nottheactor.leeminho, CB97_3racha and 1043 others

j.one_3racha I look like I'm trying to run past you but ended up mogging the picture.
   spearb__3racha You weren't trying to do that?

CB97_3racha aww this is one cute picture

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

@j.one_3racha

j.one_3racha one for the producing team and the others for the rest <3

Happy Birthday Chan-ah 

j.one_3racha mentioned spearb_3racha, CB97_3racha and 5 others

liked by nottheactor.leeminho, CB97_3racha and 1043 others

CB97_3racha I'm going to ignore that because the pictures are cute...
   j.one_3racha thanks hyung you're the best
   CB97_3racha I know

@nottheactor.leeminho I just know im not sober in that
    j.one_3racha  Were you at any point during the night?
    nottheactor.leeminho I hate agreeing with you, just so you know.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

@nottheactor.leeminho

nottheactor.leeminho here's whatever is left from last night

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANNIE

nottheactor.leeminho mentioned seungmin_inthebuilding, hyunjin_hwang and 2 others

liked by hana_banana, CB97_3racha and 1043 others

 hyunjin_hwang I DON'T REMEMBER THIS EITHER.
    seungmin_inthebuilding Did we fall asleep at any point? Because I can't recall this either.
    nottheactor.leeminho I was drunker than you, but I still remember everything

hana_banana Oh.
    nottheactor.leeminho Oh?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

@bokbok_lix

bokbok_lix Here's whatever's left of us from last night <3

I had fun channie hyung, you're the best <333

bokbok_lix mentioned j.one_3racha, CB97_3racha and 5 others

liked by hyunjin_hwang,  sing.I.N.g and 1027 others

seungmin_inthebuilding I give up, i'm just gonna repost one of these pics on my story
 sing.I.N.g ^
 hyunjin_hwang ^^

hana_banana felix since when are you blond again? also I miss berry Jeongin
   sing.I.N.g it faded into a very ugly color, so I'm back to black
   hana_banana you're lucky you're cute so you suit any color
   bokbok_lix I hated the brown :(((
   hana_banana you look better in blond anyways

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

My lovely(eww) roommate🏠

im so restless today

my lectures got cancelled
for the day

I'm going to the library

i fed your cats so don't
worry and have fun

Sent at 12:10pm

when will you be back?
Sent at 12:23pm

hello?
Sent at 12:26pm

Oh right you must be
walking there

text back

Sent at 12:27pm

Hey, I just got to the library.

Sent at 12:37pm

I'll be back by 4

Did you need something?

Sent at 12:39pm

Umm everyone's staying here
for the day

Since Hyunjin and 3racha are
going on schedule soon

I don't think I'll be back home
 today either

Sent at 12:43pm

Oh thats great minho

Ill get home to feed the cats

Don't worry

Sent at 12:45pm

What i mean is

do you want to come 
here once you're done?

you said you're restless so...

The cats... well I'll go home
to feed them at night

Sent at 12:46pm

you'll go home to get ready
anyway so just feed them
before leaving

Sent at 12:47pm

Umm... I don't think I should
I have to study

Sent at 12:47pm

Remember what you promised?

Sent at 12:47pm

Yeah I know but

Sent at 12:48pm

No buts

As long as you're
comfortable to be here

Sent at 12:49pm

You know I hate meeting
new people

Sent at 12:49pm

You've already know 5
of them

you sort of talked to
chan this morning

Sent at 12:50pm

But that was over
comments, minho

Sent at 12:50pm

Come on, it'll be fun

Just tell me if you're uncomfortable,
I'll drive you back

Sent at 12:50pm

ill think about it, okay?

Sent at 12:51pm

okay well ill let chan know
that you may or may not join us

Sent at 12:52pm

chan doesn't know yet?
Minho i think its a bad idea
they dont know me

Sent at 12:53pm

won't hurt if you got to
know them today

You won't know until you try!!

Sent at 12:53pm

istg minho
i'll call you once I'm done

Sent at 12:53pm

That's my hana

Sent at 12:53pm

your hana?

Sent at 12:54pm

my friend hana?

Sent at 12:54pm

Right right, of course.

Sent at 12:55pm

also what did you mean by 'Oh.'
on my post today?

Sent at 12:55pm

because you looked ho|
because you loo|
because yo|

i wanted to be vague

Sent at 12:56pm

about what?

Sent at 12:56pm

nothing in particular,
that was the whole point

Sent at 12:57pm

You're weird

Sent at 12:58pm

tell me something i
don't know

okay anyways, gtg

Sent at 12:58pm

bye, and don't forget to call me
or ill bug the fuck out of you by
spamming you with calls and texts

Sent at 12:59pm

okay okay calm tf down

Sent at 12:59pm

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hours blurred together—an hour, two, three, four—slipping past before Hana even noticed. She gathered her books and pens, stuffing them into her bag with a sigh. After checking out her borrowed books, she handed the librarian her card and made her way outside.

Outside, the air hit her like a cold slap, and she slid her earphones in, drowning out the world around her with music that matched her suddenly somber mood. Each note was a reminder of the emotions she struggled to keep at bay. She started the walk home, her mind a chaotic mix of thoughts that spiraled deeper into the shadows.

Waiting for the red light to turn green, she let herself drift into the void of her mind, her surroundings blurring into insignificance. It was a familiar feeling—numbness.

Then, without a second thought, she stepped into the crosswalk, lost in her thoughts, her heart racing with something she couldn't quite name.

A fast car screeched to a halt, the honk jolting her back to reality just in time. The driver's frantic shout mingled with her racing thoughts, and she froze, eyes wide, heart pounding against her ribcage. The world around her sharpened into focus, but all she could hear was the thumping of her heart and the distant echo of laughter from a life she felt she no longer belonged to.

With trembling hands, she clutched her bag tighter and stumbled back onto the sidewalk, her breaths coming in shallow gasps. The driver glared, the moment frozen in an uncomfortable silence as  the car sped away.

Hana stood still, her heartbeat gradually slowing but the rush of adrenaline fading into a familiar despair. She felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes as memories flooded back—faces of friends, laughter that now felt like a distant dream. She missed it all—the warmth of connection, the laughter that didn't feel forced, the simple joy of being surrounded by people who cared.

She missed Minho's smile, Seungmin's jokes, and Jeongin's easygoing nature. The simple joy of belonging somewhere.

As she resumed her walk, each step felt heavier, the weight of her suddenly feeling isolated pulling her deeper into an abyss. She knew she should reach out, should allow Minho and the others to pull her back to the surface, but the fear of being a burden paralyzed her.

The thought twisted in her gut like a knife. She didn't want their pity or their forced sympathy. She wanted to be whole again, to feel like she was worthy of friendship.

She also didn't want invalidate her parents.

Ironic.

 They trusted her when she moved out, she moved out so she could have peace yes, but only because she wanted to focus on her studies.

As she reached the front door of her apartment, a rush of desperation swelled within her. She wanted to scream, to let the world know how heavy her heart felt, how it thudded against her ribcage like a warning bell, but all that came out was a choked breath.

Hana hesitated, her hand hovering over the doorknob. She could run inside and shut the world out, or she could turn around, call him and be around people.

She knew she preferred the latter, because the things she needed could only be achieved, if she was around Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin. 

If she was around people who genuinely wanted her.
She was aware of all that.

"Breathe," she whispered, but the words felt hollow, echoing back at her like a reminder of all the times she'd told herself the same thing, only to be met with silence.

In that moment of indecision, her phone buzzed in her pocket, jolting her back to reality. She fished it out, and her heart sank as she saw Minho's name flashing on the screen. He was calling.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the green button, her voice barely a whisper when she answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, I was starting to worry," Minho's voice came through, a mixture of relief and concern.
"Are you okay? I thought you'd be back by now."

"Yeah, I just... lost track of time,"
she replied, forcing a smile she knew he could hear through the line.

"Do you want me to come to ho-?

The invitation hung in the air, and she could feel her walls starting to crumble. Before she could second-guess herself, the words slipped out.
"Can I come to you instead?"

There was a pause, then his voice, softer now,
"Sorry?"

She took a breath, pressing her hand to her temple to steady herself.
"I mean... I'd like to come over. You're still at Chan's, right?"

Another beat of silence, then,
"Yeah, I am. Of course you can come by. We're all waiting. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No I'll drive there, just text me the address."

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

a/n: seems like recovery will take a long time
or it could take forever if something happens in the course of it.