GC: JUST T3LL HIM 4LR34DY
EB: it isn't that simple terezi!
GC: UH
GC: Y3S 1T 1S
GC: 1 US3D TO D4T3 K4RK4T B3FOR3, R3M3MB3R?
GC: 1 WOULD T3LL H1M L1K3 4LL TH3 FUCK1NG T1M3
EB: agh!
EB: don't remind me you two used to date!
EB: it's only making me more nervous!
GC: 4WWWW 4R3 YOU G3TT1NG J34LOUS? >:]
EB: no! it's just getting me nervous.
EB: what if i'm not a good matesprit or whatever like you were?
GC: YOU'LL B3 F1N3
GC: K4RK4T'S 1NTO DW33BS.
GC: LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU'R3 4 DW33B.
EB: i don't have time to argue with you over that so i'll just leave it at that.
GC: H3H3H3
GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T S33 WH4T'S SOO H4RD W1TH JUST S4Y1NG 'H3Y K4RK4T 1 H4V3 4 HUUUG3 N3RDY CRUSH ON YOU 4ND 1 W4NT TO SNOG YOU 4LL D4Y 3V3RY D4Y'
EB: obviously i'm not going to say that.
EB: that's stupid.
GC: YOU'R3 STUP1D
EB: we're getting off topic!!!!
GC: WHOOPS
GC: B4CK TO OP3R4T1ON M4K3 JOHN STOP B31NG SUCH A W33N13
EB: wow
GC: HOW W3R3 YOU PL4NN1NG ON T3LL1NG H1M 4NYW4Y?
EB: uhh
EB: oh fuck
EB: oh man
EB: i have nothing
GC: >:[
GC: GR34T.
GC: S1GH
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 N33D TO TURN TH1S 1NTO 4 M3MO.
EB: what??? no???
GC: UH
GC: Y3S
GC: YOU N33D 4 FUCK TON OF H3LP 3GDORK
EB: ugh fine just keep karkat out of it okay?
GC: UH DURRRRRRRRR
GC: OF COURS3 1'M GOING TO K33P MR.MOP3Y P4NTS OUT OF 1T
GC: OK4Y
GC: JUST CL1CK ON TH3 P1CTUR3
GC:

EB: why do you even have that?????
GC: K4RK4T 1SN'T THE ONLY TROLL TH4T L1K3S TROLL W1LL SM1TH YOU KNOW
EB: whatever.

John rubbed his eyes. He was tired. He was stressed. John wanted to relax but he couldn't. Not for now at least. No, the next time John would relax it would be with Karkat in his arms. The two of them watching Good Luck Chuck for the billionth time but being too fixated on each other to even bother to pay attention to the movie. Yeah. Yeah that would be nice.

Of course none of that would happen if John didn't get his shit together and find a decent way to confess to Karkat. Of course it had to be perfect. John wouldn't just blurt out his feelings to the troll like an idiot. No, he'd be doing this with some class. The Heir knew that Karkat liked romance so John was going to be romantic. That was as far as John had gotten to any sort of plan. Well...John did have something but it was probably a bit too dorky for Karkat's liking. Then again Kanaya and Rose had told him to be himself...

He sighed and clicked on the picture of Troll Will Smith which instantly directed him to a memo Terezi had made. This wouldn't be so bad. Right?

ectoBiologist[EB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo on board H3LP JOHN STOP B31NG 4 W33N13

GC: GR34T! 3V3RYON3'S H3R3!
EB: it just looks like vriska, you, and i are here.
AG: Yep! That's everyone!
EB: what about kanaya and rose???
AG: Who needs those losers????????
EB: i do!
EB: i need those losers!
EB: they've been helping me out too! it's only fair that they help here too.
AG: Well they're on a d8 tonight so you'll have to suck it up and talk to us!
GC: OR 1S 1T SUCH 4 HUG3 BURD3N TO T4LK TO US NOW?
EB: it isn't, i love talking to you guys!
AG: Not as much as you loooooooove to talk to Karkat :::;)
EB: shut up!
GC: JOHN'S R1GHT. W3 H4V3 TO S4V3 4LL OUR GOOD JOK3S FOR WH3N H3 4ND K4RK4T 4R3 4CTU4LLY D4TING.
AG: Gr8 idea!
EB: what the fuck is happening
EB: this memo was supposed to help me confess to karkat not to plan how to tease us about our relationship that may or may not exist in the future.
GC: WH4T C4N W3 S4Y
AG: We like to plan ahead.
EB: well stop it
EB: plan for now instead
EB: so i was thinking that i could brush up on some of my old magic skills and maybe do that cheesy move where the magician hands someone a bouquet of flowers from his wand!
AG: Oh my god.
AG: Terezi, What do you think of that?
GC: L4444M3
EB: it is not lame.
EB: if anything it's dorky.
AG: It's 8oth.
AG: Think of something 8etter.
EB: i can't! i was sort hoping i could do that
EB: i had everything planned out too!
GC: 1 SORT4 W4NT TO KNOW YOUR PL4N
AG: Let's hear it Eg8ert.
EB: i was just sort of planning that the next dream bubble we pass through i'd take karkat to some dream memory of LOWAS and do that whole flower magic trick thingy and pretty much fucking stutter out my confession.
AG: Hmmmmmmmm
AG: It's cute.
AG: Sort of.
EB: sort of???
AG: I 8elieve you can do soooooooo much 8etter.
AG: Something other than a dumb magic trick and shit.
AG: Something 8igger!
GC: SOM3TH1NG B3TT3R!
AG: Something 8older!
EB: like what??
AG: Like I tell Karkat a8out your pity towards him!
EB: yeah that sounds great!
EB: in crazy town.
AG: Well you already agreed to it so........
EB: i was kidding though!!
AG: Too l8!!

What.

What?

EB: please tell me you're joking.
EB: vriska PLEASE tell me you're joking!
AG: ::::)
EB: oh my god
EB: oh god

No. No no no no. This wasn't happening. This was not happening. Vriska was lying. Vriska was trying to fool him. Vriska did not just tell Karkat.

arachnidsGrip[AG] posted a chat log between arachnidsGrip[AG] and carcinoGeneticist[CG] to memo on board H3LP JOHN STOP B31NG 4 W33N13

Oh fuck.

John couldn't believe it but it was there. It was there in the cobalt and grey text. She told him. The Heir of Breath stood up quickly and left his laptop sitting on his alchemized bed. If he was right Vriska and Karkat were still talking and John would have at least some time to do a confession of his own instead of being thrown into this who shebang forcefully. He still had a chance to save himself. The human quickly floated off the ground and tried to fly over to Karkat's room quickly. John was hitting nearly every corner on his way to his alien crush's room.

Now John was just there. Hovering an inch off the ground and a foot away from the door. He could hear Karkat angrily tapping on the letter keys of his crabtop from inside. A small smile threatened to appear on his face at the thought of the short troll looking so adorable. John's mind quickly went from Karkat being adorable to Karkat snuggling up in John's arms and watching a movie. Wow. John was gayer than planned. Of course none of John's little fantasies would come true if he didn't go into Karkat's room. With a deep breath and a determined look, John pushed the door opened and floated inside.

There he was. Target locked. Karkat looked up when John came in, his face was red with either anger or embarrassment or both. The troll grunted out a greeting and looked back at his screen.

"Can you fucking believe the bullshit Vriska is telling me?" Karkat stood up and turned the crabtop so John could see the screen which had blocks of grey text with little snippets of cobalt. Come on John, now or never. "What an ass--" The God of Breath cut off Karkat's sentence with a great big awkward but meaningful hug.

Yeah.

John supposed this was a good way to confess too.