CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
WANT YOU DEAD
(episode five: midsummers)

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THE DRIVE TO THE Hawk's Nest was the worst twenty minutes of Haven's life. Okay, scratch that, she'd definitely suffered far worse situations, but those twenty minutes definitely made it into the top five times Haven Murphy hated her existence. When the pogues had eventually headed to where John B had parked the Twinkie, they didn't expect to find JJ sitting in the backseat smoking a blunt and silently crying. He didn't say anything as they got inside, just sat as far away from Haven as possible and stared out the window. No one tried to get him to talk, knowing that it would take just one more wrong word before he exploded like a hand grenade, eradicating everything in sight. Honestly, it surprised all of them when he actually put out his blunt and clapped his hands together as they pulled up outside the Hawk's Nest, the first sign of life flickering across his face.

"Alright, let's hit it, boys," he exclaimed as Haven stared at him warily. "We're goin' on a recon mission."

"Hold up a second," John B stammered from the front seat, refusing to meet Kie's gaze as she turned to frown at him. Oh, good god. "I think I'm gonna do this one by myself tonight..."

"Really?" JJ scoffed.

"What?"

"Nothin', brother."

"Look, I just don't wanna spook Sarah with the peanut gallery."

"Why does it matter if you're just using her for access?" Haven asked, Kie nodding along eagerly, "I just don't understand why we're involving her at all."

"Kie, we're not involving her, okay?" he sighed.

"Alright, then what are we here for?" Haven scoffed. "Just a casual chat with Sarah Cameron?"

"It's just — like a... like a business meeting thing."

"Sounds convincing," she muttered as JJ and Pope snickered to themselves in the background.

"Look, once we get what we need, we cut her loose, alright?" Haven just hummed dismissively, not believing him for a second. He'd make up an excuse every time just so she could stay. That was what puppy love did to someone like John B. "Plus, we need the map."

"Keep telling yourself that, buddy."

He scowled at her, but before he was able to say anything, Kie reached for his arm. "Promise me nothing's happening between you two."

"Nothing is happening, Kie," he rolled his eyes.

"I'm being serious."

"Okay!"

"This isn't about you," she snapped, not liking the way he was mocking her. "And this isn't about us. This is about her. Dude, she's going to get inside your head." If she hadn't already. "Just promise me nothing's happening between you guys."

"I promise."

Kie just looked at him for a moment before she huffed and shook her head. She glowered at Haven, as if to say 'can you believe this guy?' Haven just sighed back, like she was responding, 'he's a horny teenage boy and she's hot. What else did you expect?'

"Anyways," John B said. "I'm gonna take care of business."

"Try and keep it in your pants, John B," Haven retorted as the boys grumbled about being stuck in the 'hot ass car.' "There's more important things to think about than your crush on the Kook Princess."

"I already told you," he glowered. "Nothing is happening."

"And I don't believe you," she snapped. Fortunately, no one else was paying them attention, but she knew she had John B listening. "I hope she's worth losing your friends, John B."

He sat there for a minute, like he couldn't quite believe what she just said, before sparing one last glance at the others then stepping out into the storm. Lightning was striking overhead and thunder was rumbling in the distance. It hadn't been like that earlier, but the revelation of Arden's baby followed by the shitstorm of finding out Sarah Cameron was in the G-game had seemingly sparked something in the universe. Haven had a bad feeling about letting John B go alone on a night like that. It was like they were asking for trouble to find them.

"So," Pope said nervously. "Are we going to address the elephant in the room?"

"We're not in a room, Pope," JJ said simply. "We're in a van."

"I know that. It's a saying."

"Well, it's a dumb one," he muttered. "And I've got nothing to say."

"Neither do I," Haven piped up.

"That's typical of you, isn't it?"

She wheeled around in her chair, shooting him an icy glare despite the way her heart panged. "I thought you had nothing to say."

He just narrowed his eyes at her. "I've got nothing to say to you."

"Then why are you talking to me right now?" she smirked.

He just huffed, turning his head to look out the window. Haven waited for a moment, hoping he would say something, even a smart remark. She hated the distance between them, having grown used to seeing JJ as a brother. She didn't want to go back to how they were before — hell, this was even worse. At least before, he was indifferent about her. Now, he looked ready to pitch himself off a cliff if she even breathed in his direction.

"Look, JJ—"

"Nothing to say," he interrupted her.

"But—"

"Haven, I don't want anything to do with you."

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh, dude?" Pope frowned at the crestfallen stare on Haven's face. He and Kie were both sitting awkwardly between them, unsure which side to take, but even if Haven was in the wrong for not telling JJ about Arden, he hated how sad she looked. He didn't know where they stood anymore in terms of their own relationship, but it was safe to say he liked her. It hurt him when she was upset, and it hurt to see his best friend heartbroken, too. But there was nothing that could change JJ's mind then.

"No, I don't, Pope," he exclaimed. "If I were you, I'd lose this little crush you've got on her before she betrays you too."

"Hey, that's not fair," he retorted but was cut off by a sudden scream. The van went quiet, everyone on high alert as they shared a wary glance, even Haven and JJ. "Did you guys hear that?"

They waited another minute before another shout was heard through the thunder. It sounded like a girl's voice — Sarah's voice, screeching for help.

"Oh, fuck."

They ran as fast as they could, unsure what they would find when they rounded the corner to the Hawk's Nest. Haven froze as she spied two bodies strewn on the ground with Sarah in between them, tears streaming down her face as she held one's hand and cradled the other's head to her chest. Up above, the edge of the Hawk's Nest was splintered, stray pieces of wood scattered everywhere from where Arden Kim and John B Routledge had fallen. The former had her other hand clutched to her stomach despite the agony it seemed to cause just moving the limb. She'd definitely broken it. As for John B, he was out cold with bruises covering every inch of skin that was visible.

"Sarah, what happened?" Pope cried as he and JJ rushed ahead, Kie falling back to tug Haven along with her.

"I don't know what to do," she stammered, her words barely legible through her sobs. "They need help. Topper shoved them."

"Where the hell is he?" JJ growled, staring through the darkness ready to swing at the first moving body he found.

"Does that matter right now?" Haven snapped as she forced herself into the present. She could panic later, Arden's cries were only getting louder and John B wasn't in a good state. She dropped down on her knees next to Sarah, hushing her as she took Arden's unbroken hand from her. "Hey, Ard, you with me?"

"It hurts," the girl sniffled as Haven pulled her close. "Have, it hurts."

"I know," she sighed. "But we're going to get you help, okay? Just, you and jellybean hold on for us."

From beside them, Sarah's sobs grew louder as John B let out an agonised groan. "Oh, please, please, please get help. I don't care who. Just call someone."

"I'm on it," Pope declared, sprinting back towards the van with Kie and JJ calling for him to hurry. The former stood back, frowning as Sarah kissed the crown of John B's head, while JJ slowly lifted Arden's back to his chest as she forced herself upwards.

"JJ," she whimpered into his neck. "I'm—"

"Hey, that doesn't matter right now," he murmured, his hand replacing hers on her stomach as she clutched hers to her chest instead. "Just stay with me, yeah?" But she was already beginning to lose consciousness, the pain too much to bear. "Arden, come on, baby." Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "Fuck!"

"Have, go help Pope," Kie said, putting a hand on the stunned girl's shoulder. "We don't have much time."

She nodded, kicking off her heels and running after the boy as rain started to fall. The last thing she heard before she went out of earshot was JJ screaming.

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FORTUNATELY, ARDEN WAS UNHARMED aside from a broken wrist. While she was unconscious in the hospital, a doctor had looked her over and also confirmed that little jellybean was alive and kicking, thankfully unharmed from her mother's nasty tumble. Haven refused to leave her side, even as JJ insisted on being there too. Reality had set in after seeing two of her closest friends in such a state. The issue with JJ was important, yes, but it seemed trivial when death was on the table.

Not long after arriving in the hospital, Arden woke up. Haven was halfway through some trashy magazine she'd found in the waiting room when she heard her groaning, the blonde girl's eyes flickering open and immediately squinting as fluorescent white light blared down at her. Haven had shuddered when she first saw the lights, thinking back to that moment she first woke up and learned her dad was dead. She imagined it was awfully similar for Arden.

After sipping from a glass of water Kie had handed to her, she squeezed Haven's hand, whispering, "J-jellybean?"

"She's perfectly fine," Kie told her with her best attempt at a reassuring smile. It was hard to wear such an expression after such a long night.

"Didn't stop kicking for a long time," Haven added.

"What...?"

"You fell from the Hawk's Nest, fracturing your left wrist. It was a clean one, no d—" Arden suddenly shot up, her hands cradling her stomach despite already hearing that jellybean was okay.

"I fell from where?" she cried.

"It was fine." Kie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and rubbed her back soothingly. "You just fractured your left wrist, Ard. You and jellybean are fine."

She looked doubtful at first, but after glancing between Kie and Haven and stubbornly ignoring a silent JJ, she nodded slowly. "No more big bursts of information you want to share?"

Kie hummed thoughtfully, then grinned at Haven who shot her a confused look. "Well..."

"What?" she immediately hissed, fearing the worst.

"The OBGYN did mention something about twins..."

Haven giggled as Arden shot up again, both her and JJ exclaiming a startled 'what?' Kie couldn't resist then, bursting into shoulder-shaking laughter that Haven soon echoed. It was a light-hearted joke, and it was enough to brighten the gloomy mood of Arden's hospital room, even for a moment.

"That wasn't funny," the girl in question hissed, eyes falling on a picture that JJ was holding in his hands. Haven followed her gaze and sighed, "The OBGYN did another sonogram as a precaution and little jellybean did perfectly. Look, she even waved at her daddy and aunties while you were fast asleep."

Reluctantly, JJ gave the photo to Arden who took it with an entranced smile. "Look at you, huh? she cooed. "All big and grown, and even starting to hear everything around us."

"God, I pity her," Haven said, finally tearing Arden's gaze away, even for just a second. "She has to hear your dumbass self at all hours of the day."

"Hey, that's so mean," she pouted as Kie laughed and JJ chuckled weakly, though he was too busy focusing on whatever Arden had just said about jellybean being able to hear everything occurring around her.

It was like he was trying to commit every minuscule detail to memory, not wanting to miss anything else considering how much time had already passed without him. Haven admired it, but she couldn't help thinking about how everything was going to change once they left that hospital room. Things still weren't okay, no matter how much she wished they were. That much was evident when the doctors asked them to clear out and she hesitantly approached JJ in the waiting room.

"Are you coming back home?" she asked as he stared at the linoleum tiles.

"I'll crash at the Chateau," he replied, causing her to sigh and try to reach for his hand. He pushed her away. "Haven, nothing's changed."

"JJ, I really am sorry," she insisted. "I didn't know what to do. When I found out, you and I weren't close. And then when things changed, Arden was too far along."

"Look, I know it wasn't your place to tell me," he said, glancing up and meeting her eyes with stressed tears shining. "But you knew how much I was hurting, Haven. I thought she cheated on me, and you let me think that."

"Just tell me what to do to fix this," she whispered.

"There's nothing you can do, okay? Go home."

"Have, let's go, yeah?" a gentle voice murmured beside her.

It was Pope. While the others had insisted on staying with Arden, he went with Sarah to get news on John B. Now, he was back, a hand on Haven's shoulder as he coaxed her out of her chair. Despite really not wanting to, she followed him outside, her shoulders slumping as he shut the hospital doors and embraced her.

"I know I made a mistake, Pope," she whispered into his neck, hands clinging to his shoulders as his played with her hair. "But I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"He's just upset right now, he'll be okay soon," he sighed, subconsciously kissing her temple in the hopes of bringing a smile to her face. It worked for a second, but then it faded as his words registered in her brain. She had caused that pain, her and Arden.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" she asked, a light blush appearing on her cheeks as he raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Not like that, you weirdo."

"Of course you can," he said and pecked her head again. Another smile; she could get used to this. "I might have to sneak you in, though."

Now, it was her turn to smirk as she poked his side teasingly. "How rebellious of you, Pope."

"Do you want me to change my mind?" She went quiet at that, pursing her lips as he laughed. "Yeah, didn't think so."

Pope's house was just next door to his father's shop. The living room light was on when they made their way up the driveway, but rather than taking the door and facing questions from his parents if he woke them up, Pope took Haven's hand and lead her around the back of the house to where a ladder lead up to a window. He went first, calling for Haven to follow once he'd pushed up the window pane and successfully dropped into his room without alarming the other people in his house.

It was weird for Haven, seeing his room for the first time. The walls were made of wooden slats, a few movie posters and a lot of school notes stuck to them. His bed was tucked into the corner of the room with an oak desk beneath the window and a bookshelf of textbooks crammed next to it. Haven observed the pictures of the pogues pinned above his bed with a Kildare Island Surfboard sign as Pope shut the window behind them and made sure his door was locked. He could only imagine his parent's surprise if they decided to check his room in the morning and found a girl sleeping in his bed. After that, he leant Haven one of his oversized hoodies and the two crawled into bed beside each other, both too exhausted to question it. Haven immediately sought out his arms, pressing her cheek to his chest as he sighed and traced circles on her back.

"Goodnight, Pope," she murmured as her eyes began to grow heavy.

For the third time that night, he kissed her on the cheek. "Goodnight, Have."

And so they fell asleep in each other's arms. Neither of them knew whatever this was happening between them, but at least for Haven, she found she didn't mind the unknown if it meant more nights falling asleep beside Pope Heyward. She just hoped he felt the same way about her.