CHAPTER FORTY-SIX:
ME AND YOUR GHOST
(episode four: homecoming)

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DESPITE HAVING NO REAL use for it, JJ and Arden had decided to keep the hot tub that JJ brought with Barry's drug money. For a while, it sat unused in John B's backyard, but the pogues were quick to dust it off once they returned with the beer. Arden and Harlow were already waiting for them inside, and Sarah was quick to rush in to meet her god daughter. Kie and Pope weren't far behind her, leaving John B to watch in amusement as JJ and Haven fought over the controller for the portable speaker.

"JJ, I said no," Haven scowled as he opened up a country playlist on his phone. At first, he used to play the songs just to annoy the pogues and Haven, but Haven had a feeling that JJ was actually starting to like some of them.

He smiled as he picked one out, only to be stopped by Haven attempting to snatch his phone from his hands. "Oh, come on, Haven," he rolled his eyes. "Country really sets the mood, don't you think?"

"No," she deadpanned, arms folding stubbornly.

"Well, tough," he huffed. "John B agrees with me, so you're outvoted."

"Uh, since when?" She turned to look at John B questioningly, but John B only raised his hands in surrender, grinning as he took a nonchalant sip from his beer can.

"I'll let you two figure this out," he said, causing her to sigh and turn back to JJ, who wore a triumphant grin as he reopened his and Arden's shared Spotify and pressed play.

"JJ―"

But it was too late. Achy Breaky Heart started blaring from the speakers, prompting the others to come outside with matching scowls on their faces.

"See, Haven," he beamed at her. "Everyone loves it."

"I honestly can't tell if this is a joke anymore," Kie commented as she and Sarah slipped past to sit in the hot tub.

JJ went to retort but was interrupted by a child-like giggle coming from the baby in Harlow's arms. Immediately, JJ's attention went to Logan, the music long forgotten, allowing Haven to swipe his phone away to change the song.

"Here," she said, and handed it to John B. "You can do the honours."

The song then switched to a rap song that Haven only vaguely recognised, but even then, JJ seemed completely oblivious as he took Logan in his arms and bounded over to where John B stood beside Haven, screeching the opening song of the Lion King as he held the baby up like Rafiki held out Simba.

"Meet your uncle, Logan," he cooed in her ear as he moved to dump her into John B's unexpectant arms. "Alright, I'm gonna grab a beer. You got her, dude?"

"Um, no―"

But JJ was already running inside, leaving Logan peering up at John B curiously. "Uh, hello," he said, awkwardly swaying back and forth. "I'm your Uncle John B... and I don't know what else to say..."

"God, you're so bad at this," Arden commented as she took her daughter back. "At least I know who can and can't babysit, I guess."

"Hey, I can so ― You know what? Yeah, you're right. Never leave me alone with her."

Now that his arms were free again, he took a long stressed-out sip of his beer, then casted the empty can aside for another. Haven couldn't resist laughing at him. Even she, who barely saw Logan, was better at holding a baby than he was.

"Hey," he jokingly frowned when he heard her. "Not a word, Havey."

Haven mimed zipping her lips shut, chuckling when he rolled his eyes. Had Haven mentioned that she missed him, miss this?

From there, the hours started to pass in a blur. As she promised to JJ, Haven let loose with the beer, eventually changing into one of her old bathing suits that Arden fished out of a box in the spare room. Haven was surprised she even had it anymore, but thought better than to bring it up with the way that Arden scowled. Instead, she quickly changed in the bathroom before joining the others outside.

"There you are," JJ said, splashing some water in her direction. Haven returned the splash, giggling into her hand as JJ spluttered, having accidentally inhaled some of the water. "I thought you bailed on me, Havey. You're the one who asked for the beer."

"Give me a can then," she said, and held out her hand. "I'll shot-gun it."

JJ cheered and shoved his hand into the box sitting behind him, passing her a can and his pocket knife to poke a hole in the side. "Gather round, people," he called out. "Havey's about to shot-gun."

"Did you have to announce it?" she huffed, then splashed some water at him again.

"Stop that," he whined, face screwed up as some got in his eyes.

"I heard we're shot-gunning beers," Harlow exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement.

Everyone turned to look as she ran out of the house, bright orange hair falling in waves over her shoulders. She was really pretty, in Haven's opinion, and in some ways reminded her more of Leonie than Arden. Before she knew it, Haven was squished in between John B and Harlow Kim on the edge of the hot tub, the latter holding her hands out to JJ as she demanded he pass her a beer. From there, John B decided he wanted in, then Arden, then suddenly everyone except Kie was shot-gunning their beers, Kie taking one for the team as she held Logan in her arms. It was fun, and left Haven buzzing as she finished third to Harlow and JJ, her head leaning on John B's shoulder as the bass of their next song seemed to thump inside the hot tub itself.

Soon enough, the sky was dark, and Haven knew their final twelve hours were slowly coming to an end. Oh, how she wished to freeze this moment in time, to plaster it behind her eyes so she never forgot the warmth in her chest as Harlow convinced her and Sarah to dance with her, as JJ and John B teamed up and attempted to dunk her under the water, as even Arden smiled at her, and everything was just good.

Not even Pope and Kie could ruin her mood, even when the group eventually got out of the hot tub and the two made a move to leave together.

"Really?" Sarah laughed, Harlow joining in as she added, "Yeah, get some, Kie-Kie."

"Way to be discrete," JJ called out, but Kie merely flipped them all off, running up to loop her arm around Pope's waist.

Haven had stiffened in her chair as she watched them go. Her heart clenched momentarily, but she surprisingly felt okay. John B and Arden were both watching her, one in concern and one expecting jealousy, but Haven refused to show anything to either of them. She simply smiled at John B, smacking his hand away when he reached over to poke her cheek, tugging the corner of her lip up like he wanted her to smile.

"Would you stop that?" she laughed, a genuine grin forming on her face then.

"You okay?" he asked, voice lowering so that a bickering JJ and Sarah couldn't hear.

"Yeah," she nodded, and she meant it. "No need to worry, JB, I am vi-bing."

John B laughed and shook his head, amused by the way she smiled and waved her almost empty beer at him. "You're drunk, Have."

"I'm not," she insisted. "But I'm on my way, though. Hold my hair back if I puke?"

"If I have to," he sighed teasingly, but Haven knew he would.

"Oh, look," she gasped, pointing to Harlow's outstretched arms with Logan in them. The entire night, she was being passed around from person to person. Conveniently, Haven hadn't held her once, and she had a feeling that Arden was purposefully missing her, but she didn't mind. This was the closest she'd gotten to her cousin's baby since she was born, and she'd take what she could get. "It's your turn, dude."

"Wait," John B immediately protested, but Harlow thought nothing of it as she let Logan go and bounded off to wrap her arms around Sarah and JJ. "Oh, god."

"This is too good," Haven said through giggles. Subconsciously, she reached for her phone, opening the camera up to snap a photo of Logan reaching for his hair and John B staring down at her with wide eyes. "Say cheese, JB."

"I hate you."

"Mhm. Sure you do."

John B held her for a little while longer, slowly getting used to it but clearly still uncomfortable. After five minutes, he had enough of Haven's teasing and came up beside her, pushing Logan right into her arms.

"Here you go," he smirked. "Since you have so much to say, Havey."

Immediately, Haven's eyes nervously sought out Arden. She hadn't noticed her yet, but JJ had, and already he was beaming like a half-drunk kid on Christmas. It was then that Arden's eyes glanced over at her, already narrowing. From the looks of it, she was okay with having Haven around for John B and Sarah's sake, but being near Logan was too much for the moment.

Haven sighed, attempting to hold her out to John B again. "Can you take her back? Please?" she murmured, but John B failed to notice the edge to her voice.

"Pause for a photo first," he ordered, clearly mocking her earlier statement as he exclaimed, "Say cheese, Havey."

Her smile was forced, and only then did John B realise. He frowned, lowering her phone, the photo still on the screen as Arden came up to take Logan back.

"Come on, Lo," she cooed, stubbornly avoiding Haven's apologetic eyes and the way that John B was scowling at her back. "It's feeding time, baby."

She was already inside, Logan gurgling in her arms, before anyone could say anything. John B looked ready to apologise to Haven, but she tried her best to seem fine as she waved him off. She had to admit, it was nice getting to hold her cousin's daughter for the first time. Little Logan was so small. It was hard to believe that JJ Maybank and Arden Kim had created something so soft and sweet, so beautiful. It made Haven's heart ache, but she wasn't about to start an argument over it. Arden would let her around Logan when she was ready... well, that is, if that day ever came.

"I'm grabbing another beer," she declared. "Anyone want anything?"

"Can you get me one please?" Harlow asked, smiling hopefully.

Haven chuckled at the look, patting her arm on the way past. "Sure thing."

"You're the best."

The cooler housing their final beers sat under the giant oak tree in the yard. It was far enough away that JJ and Sarah's laughter was mere background noise, allowing Haven a moment to think as she searched through the cooler for the type she liked. After a moment, she stood back with her and Harlow's drinks, only to see the giant heart that was burned into the tree with John B's name, birthday and presumed death date inside.

"It's a cute art project," someone commented from behind her.

She turned around, smiling thinly as John B walked up to grab his own drink. His eyes had misted over at the sight of the memorial, obviously sad for what he'd put his friends through. It wasn't his fault, but John B had always taken these sorts of things personally.

"Did you...?"

Haven shook her head. "They did it while I was, uh ― busy."

"It's nice."

"Yeah," Haven nodded, meeting JJ's eyes as he came up to them knowingly. "It is."

The crackle of branches beneath JJ's shoes had John B hastily wiping beneath his eyes. Sensing they needed a moment alone, Haven squeezed John B's bicep once, then headed back to where Sarah and Harlow were frowning at them.

"They alright?" Sarah asked as Haven settled beside her.

"Yeah," she nodded, failing to hide her surprise when Sarah wrapped her arms around Haven's neck and sighed happily. "Just having a bro moment, you know."

"Hey, we were not," JJ protested as he and John B made their way back over to them, both with solemn expressions on their faces. "We were just... chilling."

Haven scoffed, shoving JJ's shoulder when he sat down and deliberately knocked his elbow against her ribs. "We were just... chilling," she copied, voice dropping several octaves to mock him.

JJ gasped, clutching at his chest like he'd been shot. "You wound me, Haven," he wailed dramatically. "What have I ever done to you?"

"Uh, do you want a list?"

Suddenly, there was a flash of light out on the water, followed by the sudden roar of a boat engine. Haven tensed, fearing the worst, only to roll her eyes knowingly when she spotted the familiar figures of Pope and Kie driving the HMS Pogue out into the marsh.

"Oh!" JJ cackled, bounding over to the edge of the shore to shout out to them, "Alrighty then!"

At that, Sarah started giggling, throwing her arms up in a wave that Pope and Kie stubbornly ignored. "Have a good time," she yelled, prompting Harlow to let out a rather unattractive snort that then set Sarah off.

"He jacked your boat, dude."

"Pope's poking on the pogue," John B groaned and face-palmed.

"That's disgusting," Haven commented jokingly. "Y'all need holy water."

JJ rolled his eyes, waltzing over to ruffle her hair. "Okay, Mother Mary."

"What would you know about my virginity, JJ?"

"Not a lot, thank god. I think that would scar me for life, Havey."

Just as Haven went to retort, Harlow tensed up, laughter long gone. Her reaction also sobered Sarah, both of them standing up on alert. "Uh, guys... did you hear that?" Harlow asked, getting the others' attention.

"What?" Haven frowned but was quickly silenced by John B.

"What was that?"

The group listened for an instant, but there was nothing out of the ordinary, or at least Haven thought. Just the loud squawking of John B's chickens.

"Dude, that's just your chicken," JJ rolled his eyes, but the others weren't so sure.

"I heard a car door," John B insisted, Harlow nodding in agreement with him.

Oh, fuck.

"I'm going to check," Harlow declared, darting off around the corner before anyone could stop her. It seemed like she was only gone for a second before she came sprinting back, eyes wide and full of terror as she reached for Sarah's arm. "Babes, it's your psycho brother and some dude."

That spurred Haven into action. In an instant, she was reaching for a jug of water they'd left out for Logan, chucking it over the flames of their bonfire and delving them into darkness. Nobody seemed to mind, though, as they fled to the first place they knew would hide them; the tree. And it was a good thing they acted when they did. For not even a second after Haven pulled herself up on the branch beside JJ, Rafe fucking Cameron appeared below them. There was a smash on the other side of the house, and Haven's first thought was Arden and Logan. Were they okay? Who had Rafe brought with him? And was that...

Oh, God. Rafe had a gun.

"Where the hell are you?" they heard him whisper before he started pacing around the yard like they'd just be hidden under the chairs or somewhere simple.

Not even a second later, there was a smash of glass, and Barry stormed out the back door with a pissed off look in his eyes.

"Anything?" Rafe quizzed him.

Barry shook his head. "No, ain't shit in there, bro." So he hadn't found Arden then. Where had she gone? Had he hurt her?

"No? Nothing?"

"No, nothing, Rafe," he sighed.

"Well, they were obviously just here based on the smoke," he argued, which surprised Haven. Just how did he know that John B and Sarah were with them? Had someone seen them together? The thought made Haven uneasy.

"Great observation, Boy Scout."

Rafe's shoulders tensed at the jab. "They're not far, you know? They gotta be around here somewhere."

Suddenly, both boys went quiet, eerily so. Haven risked a better glance down at them, scowling when she spotted Rafe laughing, gun pointed at the heart she and John B had only just been standing by.

"P4L," Barry read from the bottom with a snicker. Haven didn't know why he was laughing. He was hardly a kook himself. "So your sister's a pogue for life, huh, Rafe? Who would've thought?"

Anger gathered in Rafe Cameron like a storm cloud. It brewed and it brewed until Rafe let out a frustrated scream, one hand tearing at his hair while the other pressed down on the trigger. Three gunshots rang out, each bullet pinging off the memorial, leaving small indents in the dying wood. Barry rushed towards him with wide eyes, wrestling for the gun and sending Rafe's arm up in the air. Another gunshot ran out. Haven's ears rang, her whole body numbing as time seemed to slow down. One second, she was clinging to JJ's shoulders. The next, he was falling back as the bullet grazed where his face had just been, and Haven was almost knocked to the ground from the impact. She clung on for dear life, feeling the tell-tale sign of her airways constricting in panic.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What was she going to do?

Meanwhile, below them, Barry was beginning to shout. "Chill your shit," he demanded as he managed to get the gun from Rafe. "You're gonna get our asses busted, dawg―"

"A little late for that." It took a heart-stopping moment for Haven to realise that the words she'd just thought were said out loud. Arden Kim stepped out with Logan strapped to her chest, JJ's familiar gun held tight in her steady hand. She looked deadly, like a lioness defending her cubs. It stunned Rafe and Barry for a moment, judging by the nervous laughter that fell from Barry's lips.

"Ah, it's the preggo girl," he said, trying to hide his own gun as he pushed Rafe back towards where their car was parked. "I see you've had the baby. Congrats! Say congrats, Rich Boy."

But Rafe said nothing, simply staring at Logan like he'd never seen a child before. Arden bristled under the look, raising the gun higher as she said, "If you're both done, I'd appreciate it if you left my property. After all, you are both trespassing right now. I'm sure Shoupe would absolutely love to deal with you this late in the night."

"Hey, we're just about to bounce," Barry declared, then shouted for a frozen Rafe to follow him.

Slowly, Rafe slipped past Arden, sending her one last glower before he and Barry disappeared out onto the driveway. It took them a second, but a moment later, Haven heard the relieving sound of tires reversing away. They were gone. She could get down now. No one was hurt.

"Guys," she heard Arden hiss just as they began to drop down from the tree.

Immediately, JJ was racing over to his girlfriend and daughter, pulling them both into a tight hug. Harlow was the next to approach Arden, her worry for her sister evident but she tried to hide it with a remark about how badass Arden Kim was. This left John B and Sarah to hug, Haven standing alone, the hand pressing down on her throat slowly easing. She felt sick to her stomach, a twisted combination of exhaustion, alcohol consumption and her personal favourite: a near death experience.

God, she just wanted to sleep.

"Hey, JB," she piped up, prompting him to step away from Sarah. She took the hint with ease, making her way over to where the others were chatting, checking over Logan just in case.

"What's up, Haven?" John B frowned as he moved closer to her, hands running up and down her arms when he saw the shakiness of her movements. "Hey, you're okay, they're gone now."

"I know that," she said, but it didn't feel like it. "I was just wondering if I could crash here tonight. I really don't feel like seeing mum after this."

"Of course you can. You don't even need to ask," he told her, hands dropping away, leaving her cold. "Here, come with me. You can crash in my room."

"Oh, I couldn't," she said as she followed him up the porch steps and inside. Nothing seemed damaged except the window to the door Barry had broken. At least he'd had the decency not to ransack the place. Maybe he saw all of Logan's things and felt bad stealing from a baby. "What about you and Sarah?"

John B just waved her away with a laugh, flicking on the light in his room and gesturing her in first. "Arden's kicked JJ out of their room for the night so she, Harlow and Sarah can have a girl's sleepover thing," he explained. Haven didn't even have the strength to feel hurt that she was being excluded. She just felt tired, eyes lingering on the untouched bed beside her. "So you're good."

Haven just hummed at that, not saying much as she watched John B search through his wardrobe. What was he doing? Maybe she should just crash on the couch, make it easier for him. But before she could even voice her thoughts again, he was pulling out an oversized shirt and chucking it at her, laughing when she struggled to catch it.

"So you don't have to sleep in your clothes," he said, already making his way over to the door.

"Thanks, JB," Haven sighed, holding the shirt tight. She was smiling like a total idiot, head spinning. Yeah, the alcohol had officially gotten her. "Good night."

"Night, Havey," he chuckled, then pulled the door closed, leaving her alone.

At some point in the night, Haven's mind would go restless and she'd wake up convinced that Rafe and Barry were somewhere out there, waiting for them when they least expected it. She hated when this happened, when her anxiety sparked up and irrational feelings took over. She knew John B and JJ were out in the living room, deciding to keep watch while the girls rested, but they didn't feel nearly close enough then. So she got up, stealing the comforter off the bed to wrap around her shoulders as she crept out to lay with them.

Both boys were on the brink of sleep when she sat down in the space between them. John B hummed as the couch dipped, just dazedly patting her head when she nudged him over to share his pillow. On her other side, JJ muttered something about waiting for sunrise and Kie and Pope to stop boning, then he started to snore and she knew he was completely out of it. But she managed to sleep a bit better now, knowing she wasn't quite so alone.