CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX:
WITHOUT FEAR
(episode eight: the cross)

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

THE MATERIAL OF JOHN B's beloved neck-tie was rough beneath Haven's hands as she gently wrapped it around the bloody wound on his leg. After Pope looked it over, declaring he was screwed either way when it came to catching an infection, he gave the tie to Haven and insisted she covered it for him. Haven had protested at first, knowing just how much the tie meant to him and his connection to his father, but gave in when John B forcefully shoved the material into her hands, wincing even at the slightest movement of his leg.

"Let me know if this hurts, okay?" she said, hating the sight of pain on his face.

"You're good," he choked out, though his clenched jaw said otherwise.

At last, she was done, and her hand was quick to reach out to intertwine with his as he adjusted his body so his legs were swinging over the edge of the van. He welcomed her touch, squeezing her fingers as the pain continued.

Who would've thought that wrestling a gator would bring on some injuries?

"So what do we do now?" Sarah asked, grimacing at the bloody stains on the roof.

"We wait," Haven sighed. She was growing sick of the pesky sound of cicadas. Not to mention every snap of a tree branch made her worry the gator had returned for seconds; or worse, had brought along some of her friends.

"Or not," Pope grumbled, his glare finding a car appearing in the distance. "Speak of the freaking devil."

Arden smiled sheepishly from the bed of Mr Carrera's van, not yet noticing John B's ruffled appearance as Kie kept on beeping the horn while reversing to the edge of the water.

"Look who it is," Pope continued spitefully. "The tortoise and the tortoise — oh, and look, another freaking tortoise. Just a couple of hours late. Where the hell were you guys?"

Arden and Kie exchanged a grim glance behind JJ's back as Kie came around to help her to the ground. "Paternal complications," the latter explained, as Arden looked ready to explode at just the thought.

"Luke was at the Chateau," JJ explained when Haven and the others made sounds of confusion. He refused to look at his cousin, especially when she gasped and let out an outrageous 'what the fuck?'

There was no way...

He was meant to be in prison.

Why the fuck wasn't he in prison?

"Oh, great," Pope let out a scoff. "Well, while you were having family time with your pops, John B got bit by a gator."

"Wait, for real?" JJ exclaimed as the girls shared horrified gasps.

"Does it look like we're joking?" Sarah scowled, gesturing to the blood on Haven's hands and John B's ripped-up jeans.

Kie released a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose as she snapped in frustration, "Okay, what the hell happened?"

"What happened?" John B echoed, as he, Pope and Sarah shouted the following words in unison. "I (he) got bit by a gator!"

Haven was too stunned to speak. Her eyes had finally met JJ's, searching for answers she knew he had. JJ shrugged in a 'what else was I meant to do?' gesture that had Haven laughing in disbelief. She let go of John B's hand, covering her face so she didn't have to look at her cousin anymore.

Everyone was too busy arguing to notice, Kie justifying their lateness to three frustrated teens covered in mud and blood, Arden rushing to Kie's defence when she saw her getting too flustered. At last, JJ couldn't take it anymore, unable to tear his eyes away from Haven's figure as he shouted for everyone to 'shut the fuck up.' For once, they listened, surprised by the hitch in his breath.

"Seriously, guys, I can't take it anymore, okay?" he snapped into the silence that followed. "Everyone, just cut it out for a second." Slowly, Haven lowered her hands to find her cousin leaning against a nearby tree, clearly emotionally exhausted. She knew, he knew, but his next words still sent a sinking feeling of shock and disappointment swelling in her chest. "Look, I just helped my dad leave this island for good. Like, he's not ever coming back. He's straight up like the Spanish, just 'bon voyage!'"

Arden's brows furrowed in disbelief. "J, sweetie, I think you might have the wrong language there."

"Might?" Haven scoffed. There was a bite to her words, like an animal provoked to its wits end.

JJ let out a sigh. "I know what you're going to say, Haven—"

"Oh, you do?" she raised a brow at him. "Good, well, at least we're on the same page when I tell you you're a fucking idiot."

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe send him back where he belongs?" she shouted, face going red with anger.

"He's my dad—"

"Yeah, and he's the reason that my dad is fucking dead," she hissed. She watched as JJ's face dropped, but couldn't bring herself to care then. It was selfish, but Haven was tired, dirty, terrified and angry all at once. She couldn't hold it in anymore. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Alright, whatever. It's not like you're all I have or anything."

"Oh, miss me with that bullshit, JJ Maybank—"

"It's true," he cried, then gestured to the others who were listening uncomfortably. "I know for a fact all I've got is you guys, okay? You're it. And I've come too close to losing you, all of you. I mean, shit, Arden and Kie almost drowned. Pope, you were almost kidnapped. Sarah, you've been shot. John B, you were almost freaking dinner for a gator, bro. And Haven—" He hesitated, watching as she stared at the water beneath her legs, jaw clenched, like she'd scream if it wasn't. "Haven, I think I'm losing you now."

"What did you expect, JJ?" she sighed, blue clashing against green as she met his stare once more. "That I'd be happy he's walking free?"

"No. Okay? I know you hate him and you have every right to. I hate him too. But I thought you'd understand why I want him gone. We can finally move on—"

"But can we?" she scoffed. "What if he comes back?"

JJ smiled, a sad kind of smile that made Arden reach for his hand. "He won't. Trust me."

"Look, this blaming and hating each other is some kook-ass bullshit, alright?" he continued when Haven didn't reply. "We don't do that. We're pogues. Sorry, that was... a lot right now. I didn't mean—"

But the others were impressed, to say the least. Arden teasingly pressed a kiss to his cheek, while everyone else, excluding Haven, clapped mockingly for his speech.

"I gotta be honest, that's the best freaking speech you have ever given."

"Like, I'm tearing up right now."

"Also, you should think about, like, a Rosetta Stone, because your Spanish and French are flip-flopped."

"We should bon voyage out of here."

Head bowed, Haven let John B help her down from the van. He could barely stand on his injured leg but stubbornly held her hand in one of his own, the other nudging her chin up so he could press a soft kiss to her lips.

"You okay?" he murmured, quiet enough that no one else could hear. "I know you're upset."

"It doesn't matter," she forced herself to say, even though it definitely did. "Let's just find the cross so I can go home."

"Haven—"

"Please, JB?" she cut in before he could protest. "I'll talk to you later about it, I promise, but I just want to leave."

"Okay," he sighed, kissing her once more before letting her go. "But I'm holding you to that promise."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you."

Haven didn't talk to JJ once as they used Kie's car to drag the Twinkie out of the water. It wasn't for a lack of trying on his end. He did everything in his power to get her to look at him, acknowledge him in any type of way. Cracking jokes, asking questions only she could answer, nudging her arm in a pestering gesture until she snapped and finally turned to him, the others too busy celebrating their victory to notice the two cousins standing face-to-face.

"Please just talk to me," he pleaded, giving her a hopeful pout when she sighed. "I'm sorry, Haven, I know you're angry."

"You don't know anything about how I'm feeling," she snapped, kissing her teeth in frustration. "I'm not angry, JJ, I'm just really disappointed."

"Oh, not the disappointed line, please—"

"It's true. You could've turned him in."

"I just wanted him gone," JJ said, forcing Haven to pause. "I wasn't helping him 'cause I feel like he should be out of prison. He deserves everything he gets. But for once, I was selfish, okay? At least I know he's out of my life for good now, out of your life, out of Aunt Melinda's. Just... I don't want to go through this with you mad at me, Haven. We're getting closer and closer to losing our friends everyday. I mean, fuck, you could've been gator food with John B just now. I can't... Please don't let me lose you knowing I hurt you."

"You're not going to lose me."

"You can't promise me that."

Haven sighed, stepping forward and bringing her arms around his middle. JJ hesitated before hugging her back, just as tight if not more. "I love you, JJ," she murmured into the front of his jacket. "Even when I'm angry, or sad, or ignoring you, that's not going to change, okay? I just wish... I know it's stupid, but I would've liked to have been there. To have said that last 'fuck you.'"

"Don't worry, Arden did it for you," he assured her with a slight smirk. "Same with Kie."

"At least they have my back," she said, though her tone was teasing this time, no bite to it.

JJ rolled his eyes, clutching at his heart in mocking hurt. "I have your back too."

"Mhm."

"I do," he insisted then, in total seriousness. "I always will, Havey. You know that."

She smiled then, reaching out for one last hug as the others finally went quiet upon noticing them, waiting for them to finish up so they could head out. "Love you," she repeated, just because.

He sighed before responding back, "Love you too, I guess."

She knew he meant it, though.

"Well," she clapped her hands together, turning to look at the others. "What are we waiting for? Let's go find ourselves a cross."

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

THE DECAYING WOOD OF the doors to Freedman's Church creaked and whined beneath Haven's hands as she and Arden pushed them open. For a moment, the pogues stood in stunned silence, taking in the empty room. Several pews lined either side of the entrance, with dusty cushions attached to the benches for that extra bit of comfort. The white paint on the walls was chipped, revealing the wooden beams beneath the surface, and there were holes in the roof letting in sunlight, but Denmark's memory shone through brighter than ever. At the very front of the room was a dais, where the man in question had once stood preaching his faith. Every creak of a floorboard echoed in the memory of thousands of feet that came before theirs. Haven, much like the rest of them, was amazed.

Though, of course, there just had to be one who was doubtful, and who else could it have been amongst the pogues other than JJ Maybank?

"Okay, you're telling me Denmark Tanny decided to hide the cross here?" he frowned, tugging at a tree branch that had broken through the wall beside the door.

Pope made a sound of confirmation, too busy taking everything in to really answer his question. At his side, Arden stood staring at the side of his face, wearing a frown of her own that eventually faded as she sighed and turned to address the others. "We should spread out. Cover more ground."

Haven found herself following John B towards the dais, listening with faint amusement as he muttered to himself, "Okay, well, if I was a cross and I wanted to be hidden in an old church, where would I hide?"

"Is this your way of saying you want to be an inanimate object?" she teased, nudging his arm with her own which prompted his gaze to avert towards her. His eyes were as soft as they were before, like walking on eggshells, scared to break already shattered glass kind-of-soft. He squeezed her hand once, to which she smiled.

"What if it's in the walls?" she suggested after a moment, scouring the decaying surfaces with keen eyes. "I mean, this cross is tall, right? It won't be easy to hide."

"Exactly," JJ pointed out, still doubtful. "So how can you be sure that Denmark hid the cross here, Pope? Like, are we at the right church?"

Arden scoffed. "Well, do you know any other churches in Outer Banks named Freedman's Church?" When JJ shook his head, she made a triumphant sound, like her point had been proven.

Now standing behind Denmark's dais, Pope insisted, "It's gotta be here somewhere, guys."

So they continued searching. Haven eventually drifted from John B's side, coming to a stop in front of the piano tucked up in the corner. The previously polished oak wood sat collecting dust, forgotten with age and time. Carefully, she reached out to press one of the white keys, a singular chime echoing once before fading into silence. JJ came over to her as she wiped her hands on her already dirty skirt, taking in the grand piano with erratic eyes.

"What if we have to push a secret button?" he gasped suddenly, like he was so certain he'd just found the answers to all their questions. "Or, like, play a certain chord. And then all of a sudden, the ground beneath us reveals the catacombs or something on which we stand..."

Haven gaped at him in disbelief. "Do you even know what a catacomb is?"

"Do you?" he was quick to respond.

"No," she scoffed. "Which is why I know that you definitely don't know it either."

JJ opened his mouth to retort, but didn't have the chance before John B interrupted him with a pointed glare. "How about we try to find obvious clues?"

"Oh, yeah," he sighed. "Like what, hm?"

"Anything but that," Kie deadpanned. "It's not an escape room, JJ."

JJ left Haven's side to go bother her instead, prompting Haven to turn towards Pope as he brushed past her to run his hands along the pews. His expression was frantic, like one of a dehydrated man searching for water in a desert. He knew what he needed, he just didn't have a way of finding it. Arden attempted to reach for him as he tugged at his hair in frustration, but Pope merely brushed her away with a grimace.

"It's gotta be in here!"

John B sighed. "Look, I can't see where they'd hide a giant cross in here..."

But Haven could see that Pope wasn't anywhere near close to giving up. "No, no, there's no way," he protested. "There's no way he would set us up on a freaking goose chase that would lead us to a church that has nothing in it!"

"I get it, okay? But I don't know what to tell you, man."

"The clues lead us here," Pope emphasised. "The cross is in this church."

"Then where is it?" Haven muttered, heart sinking when his shoulders finally dropped in defeat, and he dragged his feet over to sit in one of the pews, Kie at his side. "Pope, I know you don't want to accept it, but look around you."

"It'll be alright," John B attempted to comfort their friend. "We can keep looking elsewhere. I mean, we've had setbacks in the past, and we've figured it out. We're gonna find it."

"He's right," Arden spoke up, reaching out to squeeze Pope's shoulder as she and JJ stood behind his bench. "We'll reconvene at the Chateau and spitball ideas. Maybe something will stand out to us again."

But Pope was no longer listening to her, or any of them. He'd taken Denmark's telescope out of his jacket pocket, holding it up to his eye. All of a sudden, he froze, with a look on his face that prompted everyone to go quiet.

"What?" JJ asked at last, attempting to follow Pope's gaze but failing. "Dude, what?"

Slowly, Pope stood, with a flicker of hope returning to his face once more. Like her cousin, Haven tried searching for whatever it was he'd found, but nothing stood out to her. Just some banisters holding up the roof...

Some cross-shaped banisters...

"Oh, my god," she breathed out, mouth dropped open in shock. "There's no way..."

But now that Pope had found something, even the smallest lead, he had his sights set back on the end goal. Despite their protests, he rushed over to the wall, struggling to find a foot-hold in the broken beams as he dragged himself up towards the banisters. Haven watched on nervously as he got closer and closer, the sound of her friends' voices echoing in her ears.

"Well, now Pope's climbing the wall."

"Pope, just wait."

"Dude, this church is old... you really shouldn't be—"

"Pope, you can't die! You're Logan's godfather."

Three guesses who said that last statement.

"Yo, let me just be real," JJ exclaimed, for even he, the risk-taker of the group, was on edge watching Pope dangle from the ceiling high above their heads. "You're not the most coordinated person on planet earth. You hear me?"

As it so happened, Pope hadn't heard him, for he was banging his fist against the first wooden beam and listening attentively to the sound that echoed back. "Alright," he addressed his friends at long last. "This one's solid wood."

"Great, can you get down now?" Arden grumbled.

Pope ignored her, continuing to climb over to the next beam. But much like the first one, it was solid.

"Pope, I hate to break it to you," JJ sighed. "But that's wood."

Pope merely shook his head, brows furrowed in denial. "No, no, no.. come on..."

Already, he was moving onto the third beam. However, it was as his head ghosted the top of the roof that Haven spotted something, her hand latching onto JJ's wrist as she pointed up towards something that made her heart hammer with anxiety.

"Uh, bro..." JJ called out, voice tremoring with evident nerves. "Just— watch out for that wasp's nest above your head..."

Arden screeched at the revelation. "Pope Heyward, if you don't come down here right now, I'll climb up there myself to drag you down."

As Haven expected, he didn't respond; instead, he clung to the middle beam while kicking out at the final cross-like shape. Almost immediately, the wood crumbled away, leaving an obviously empty space remaining.

"Look," Pope let out a gasp. "It's hollow... Guys, one of you go get me a crowbar!"

JJ scoffed to himself as Sarah volunteered to head out to the Twinkie. "What are you gonna do?" he called up to Pope. "I don't want this entire church to collapse on top of us. That's all I'm saying."

But all too soon, Sarah had returned with the crowbar in hand, bounding over to throw it up to Pope.

"Oh, dear god," Arden pinched the bridge of her nose as she watched the blonde girl prepare herself. "One of us is about to get a concussion."

"I volunteer JJ," Haven was quick to suggest.

JJ scowled. "Why is it always me?"

He was cut off by his own screech as Sarah let go of the crowbar.

However, some God must've been watching over them, for Pope miraculously managed to catch it and immediately began hacking away at the banister. Shards of wood rained down on them, forcing them back even closer to the doors, but Haven didn't mind once she saw just what was waiting for them beneath the surface.

Glittering jewels and beams sent flashes of gold around the room as the evening sun shone in through cracks in the roof. After one final splatter of wood, Pope paused, gasping in sheer delight when the giant cross of Santo Domingo was fully revealed to himself and the pogues.

"Holy shit!"

"Oh, my god—"

"We did it!"

Haven's face broken open in an ear-to-ear kind of smile. They had done it. Sure, they had to wrestle gators, swim in muddy waters, and inhale about two hundred years worth of dust in an old abandoned church just to get to this moment, but everything felt worth it with Pope half-laughing, half-crying in glee above them while the rest of her friends screamed in celebration. Haven couldn't wait to see Limbrey's face when she realised they'd outsmarted her once again. She'd have to ask Pope to bring her along so she could witness it for herself.

But first, there was the issue of transporting the cross.

"Uh, guys..." Arden breathed out. Haven was quick to turn at the sound of fear in her voice. She hadn't been expecting that so soon into their victory.

But things were beginning to go wrong with Pope. The wasp nest above his head buzzed as he frantically swung above him with the crowbar. In a state of panic, he dropped the tool, which would've landed on Haven's head had it not been for John B and JJ quickly tugging her back. Then, in a blink of an eye, Pope fell right over the edge and only just managed to catch himself on the banister, hanging by his fingertips.

Now their screams weren't of celebration, but of terror.

"Grab the cushions," Haven demanded, tugging JJ over to one of the benches and frantically gathering up all the pillows, dust be damned.

The others were doing the same, Pope screaming over their heads as the wasps began to attack his face and hands, until he was only holding on with one arm. Haven rushed over to scatter the cushions around, the others doing the same as they created an admittedly pathetic looking bed to lessen the impact of his fall. As soon as the last pillow was down, he was forced to let go, the ground creaking in protest as he slammed into it and went quiet.

"Pope," Arden breathed out a terrified gasp as she dropped to her knees at his side. Haven was right behind her, the others leaning over their friend as he gasped for air, violent red marks appearing on his face and hands from the wasp bites. "Pope, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

He merely groaned, tears spilling down the side of his face as he forced his eyes to open.

Haven breathed a sigh of relief seeing him conscious, but the feeling was short-lived as the roof above them began to groan. Slowly, she looked up, only to scream in fright as a seven foot golden cross free-fell through the air.

And it only had one way to go.