Jonathan takes a good look in the mirror. He's surprised it hasn't broken. He hates his dirt color hair and how its always flopping on one side of his head. He sort of regretted the piercings he got in his past. The two in his ears, the lip piercing, and the nose. He wanted to rip them out, none of them looked right on his body. Why? He asks himself. Well, let him show why. Jonathan pulls out a silver machine from under his bathroom sink. He gulps at the terrible truth telling monster. His bare feet step onto the machine. He waits for a minute and the numbers pop up... 291 pounds. He's gained a pound since this morning. His fists are in balls. Chubby little fucking balls. Did he mention what's worse? He has a meet up with one of his online friends in an hour. The one everyone ships him with. Yeah, ship, as in wanting them to be together. Who'd want some chubby ass dude and a buff ass man get together. Oh, yeah. It's different. People don't know what he looks like. How fucking terrific is that? And the dude himself doesn't even know what he looks like! Jon nearly rips his hair out with his hands. He's done this every time before going out. He hated himself. He hated everything, except for the way he played video games.

His gray-blue eyes stare at his hair in the mirror. He tilts his head and the hair moves with him. Gel! He grabs the material from a shelf in the small bathroom. Before fixing his hair he looks at his chest. His not flat chest... "I should put on a big shirt or something." He mumbles to himself. Quickly he goes to his closet, which he isn't even out of yet. Once he turned 30 this past month he figured out he was gay. He grabs a big blue hoodie out of the closet, and shuts the door.

Back in the bathroom he slips the hoodie over a gray shirt with Led Zeppelin logo on it. He then puts the gel into his hair, and it surprisingly stays up. He slightly smiles and then leaves the bathroom. He's gotta meet Evan soon.

Before going to his car he kisses his dog Samantha bye. She whines and sits by the door. Jon frowns and slowly shuts the door and locks it.

Evan straightens up the cushions a second time. Binx whines because he has to move again. "I'm sorry bud, but I have to make the house perfect. It's Delirious, I mean come on. I need to make a good impression!" Binx only replies with a hiss and plops down off the couch. "Fifteen minutes! Hopefully." Evan has always had a deep thought in his mind that Delirious would bail and not show up.

His hands are really sweaty on the wheel. Either because bigger people usually sweat easier, or he's nervous, could be both though. He looks at mailboxes looking for Evan's number. House number 1420. "1417....1418...1419...", his nerves start jumping. Jon spots the number and turns into the bumpy driveway. The man let out a long breath and parked the car in front of the decently sized house. Jonathan really didn't want to get out. "Fuck." He curses and lay his head on the steering wheel.

Evan is in the window looking out from the kitchen. He stares at the blue jeep in his driveway. "He's actually fucking here... I think." Evan speaks to the cat. Curious the Asian walks out of his home and towards the vehicle. He spots the blue hoodie. "Damn, he must be really fucking cold blooded to be wearing a hoodie in this weather." He whispers to himself. Evan thinks quick and taps on the window. The head lifts and blue eyes meet brown through the window. They both stare. Evan admires Jon's facial structure, his eyes, his piercings. He had a cute, chubby face, adding the piercings made him hella fucking hot. Jon notices how Evan looks hotter in person, than in a picture on Google. Jon didn't want Evan to stop staring, and that'd stop as soon as he got out of the car. Evan looks down, noticing he's staring. "Come out." He gestures Jon to come out of the car. Evan takes a step back and the door slowly opens. A foot comes out with a bright blue Converse on it, along with the other one. He's also wearing black jeans. Why? Then the baggy hoodie. Evan wanted to ask if his friend was hot, but didn't want to bring it to attention. "Let me show you inside." Evan smiles and his friend smiles along, and dimples appear on his cheeks and Evan's heart melts. "You have a nice smile." Evan laughs, but he doesn't hear the clown's following. Instead he hears sobbing. He whips around, "Delirious! What's wrong?"

"You told me my smile was nice." His hands cover his face. Evan's heart continues melting. "Come inside. We need to talk."

Evan sets a cup of chamomile tea in front of his friend, along with a box of tissues. "So, what's wrong Deli-"

"Call me Jonathan."

"Well, what's wrong?"

"I honestly fucking broke before I came here Evan. I fucking hate the way I look. How much I weigh. How my hair falls. How my piercings look on me. I hate it." Evan nearly cracks himself.

"Why?! You're such an attractive man!" Evan covers his mouth. Nearly dropping his tea doing it. Jonathan looks up from his mug and at Evan. Blush clear across both their faces.

"How am I-?"

"You're attractive to me."

"But-"

"And that's all that matters."

"What?" Jonathan gets grabbed by Evan and they both land on the couch.

"Watch how much I love you." Evan pushes Jon down, and lay on top of his friend. Evan wraps his arms around Jon and snuggles his head against Jon's chest. "You're a lovable pillow. You're funny. I love your fucking piercings, God you're so hot." Evan lifts the clown's head to meet his eyes. "And Christ, your eyes. They remind me of the sky after a beautiful thunderstorm." Jon's heart is beating out of his chest.

"Now, Jonathan. I ask one thing of you."

"Yes?"

"Love yourself."

"How?"

"Look in the mirror. Really look at yourself. Come here." Evan pulls Jon once again. They end up in Evan's bathroom. "Now look at yourself. You can only be ugly if you let yourself tell you that." Evan smiles, and Jon stares himself down. His piercings are cool, and his hair is awesome. And his chubbiness is the best thing in the world. Jonathan smiles and his dimples blow everything away. "Your nose piercing, the stud the most bad ass black and the ring on your lip..." Evan reaches for Jon's head and pulls him to his face. Evan pushes his lips against Jon's and the world explodes. A tingly feeling hits Evan's lips where Jon's lip piercing is. "Fuck." Jon says as Evan and him breath. "Answer me this Jonathan," Evan squeezes the blue hoodie, "do you love yourself?"

"I don't only love myself," he brightly smiles with his dimples, "but I love you."

Jonathan leans into another kiss with Evan and they both nearly explode with emotions.

No matter your size, no matter your hair color, your skin color, markings on your body, or other accessories, you are beautiful.

Love yourself from the chubby as fuck HoodiniClown herself ~ <3