Eighteen

Maura barely felt her legs underneath her as she stumbled to the table and sank into the nearest chair. Anger had burned like molten fire only moments ago, pounding savage drumbeats in her ears, but now she felt numb and slightly sick. Dark spots flickered in her vision like mini strobe lights. She laid her head on the table and took deep breaths, waiting for the disorienting sensation to pass.

Luke didn't know where her father was. He couldn't know! As far as she was concerned, her father had walked off the edge of the earth.

Aside from him claiming to know her father's whereabouts, however, was the sheer lunacy of his tale. There was no such thing as a faery queen who stole children from their parents or fed off the souls of teenage girls. Maura believed in what she could see and touch. She believed in sense and logic. Was Luke so heartless that he would exploit her grief by feeding her lies?

The door swung open just then, though Maura kept her eyes closed. "Break's over. You need to . . ." Brian's voice trailed off. "Hey, you okay?"

For a moment, Maura considered telling him the truth, that no, she wasn't okay. She didn't know if she ever would be okay. Instead, she took a deep, shuddering breath and sat up. "Just peachy."

Brian chucked her awkwardly on the shoulder. "There'll be other guys. He didn't deserve you, anyway."

"Thanks," Maura said, not meeting his eyes. Maybe she should be nicer to Brian.

Maura worked the rest of her shift in a daze. Leanne rightly guessed that Luke had put her in a bad mood, but all Maura would say was that he plagiarized their English project and now she had to come up with something new.

"At least he came clean about it now," Leanne said. "You know, before it's too late."

"It doesn't matter," Maura replied. "I don't want anything to do with him."

"So . . . I guess that means we're not going to prom together?" Leanne asked. Maura just gave her a look and went back to work.

When she got home later that night, she found her mom curled on the living room sofa in her bathrobe, a towel wrapped tightly around her hair. Her freshly scrubbed face was flushed with residual heat. The lingering scent of floral bubble bath, one of her mother's rare splurges, permeated the room.

"How was work?" her mother asked, glancing up from the book in her hand. A mug of tea sat steaming on the small table beside her.

Maura flopped down in the opposite chair. "Fine."

"Just fine?"

It had been anything but fine, but what else could she say? "Yep."

Several moments passed in silence with only the soft rustling of her mother turning the pages of her book, or the whistle of her breath as she blew across the rim of her mug.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk?" she blurted out, surprising even herself.

Her mother looked up then, blinking several times. She very slowly and purposefully turned the book over in her lap. "I get the feeling something's been weighing on your mind. Should I pour myself something stronger than herbal tea?"

Maura half-laughed through her nose. "You don't drink."

"Maybe I should start. What's on your mind?"

Maura opened her mouth but shut it just as quickly. How could she tell her mother that this strange guy from school, a guy she barely knew, claimed to know where her father was?

"Come on, babe," her mother said, worry gouging deep lines in her forehead. "It's just the two of us. Don't shut me out."

Maura glanced down at her lap. "I'm not trying to shut you out, Mom. It's just that . . ." She shook her head, not sure where to begin.

Her mother leaned forward and poked Maura's knee. "I used to wipe your butt, remember? You can talk to me about anything."

Maura rolled her eyes, which was precisely what her mother had been after. "Were you . . . were you and Dad . . . you know . . . happy?"

There was a pause, and then: "And here I was, fully prepared to impart some motherly wisdom about boys and sex."

Maura snorted, allowing a ghost of a smile. "Sorry to disappoint."

Her mother picked up her mug and held it cradled between her hands. "Were your dad and I happy?" she asked rhetorically. "I would say, for the most part, yes."

"For the most part?"

"Every marriage has its ups and downs, Maura. We were together for eighteen years. That's a pretty long time to be with the same person, especially in this day and age when it seems like everyone is getting a divorce." She narrowed her eyes then. "Why are you asking?"

Maura kicked off her shoes and stood. "I'm going to get some tea. Need a refill?"

Her mother's eyes narrowed even more. "I'm okay."

Maura made her way to the kitchen. When she looked back, though, she noticed that her mother hadn't picked up her book. She sat immobile, staring out the window.

As she placed a teabag in a mug and waited for the water in the kettle to boil, Maura recalled finding Luke looking at their family portrait. He had asked about her dad, but she had assumed it was out of curiosity. Had Luke recognized her father? Maybe he was mistaken and only thought he did. Or maybe, Maura thought, maybe by some coincidence, Luke had moved from the same town her dad was now living and they had run into each other. There was no doubt that Luke and his sister were odd, maybe even a bit damaged. It could be that his incredible tale of a faery queen stealing him from his parents was his way of dealing with some traumatic event of his past. Even if he was lying about that, it didn't necessarily mean he was lying about her father. What if her father wasn't the man she and her mother thought he was? What if he'd been living a double life with another family all these years and decided he wanted to be with only them?

The kettle began to screech, jarring Maura out of her wild thoughts, and she twisted off the gas. After preparing her tea, she returned to the living room where her mother was still looking out the window. She might have been gazing at the sliver of moon perched in the sky, but Maura knew better. She was gazing into the past. Maura paused in the entryway.

"I'm sorry I upset you," Maura said. What had she been thinking, dredging up the past?

Her mother's shoulders rose and fell. "I'm not upset, hon."

She turned her head slightly then and Maura thought she saw a glistening on her cheek. She looked down at the mug cupped between her hands, wishing she could find the words to make it better.

"It's late," her mother said, sparing her. "You should go to bed."

Maura didn't protest. Though she had seen even later nights than this, it had been a very long day. Exhaustion pulled at her eyelids and made every muscle in her body ache. "Okay. I'll say goodnight before I turn out the light."

Her mother nodded, still not looking at her. "Okay, babe."

Mug of tea in hand, Maura hoisted her backpack over her shoulder and trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. When she flipped on the light, her breath caught in her chest. Laid out on her bed was the prom dress she had been coveting for the past several weeks. She dropped her bag on the floor and set her tea on her desk. For a moment, she did nothing but stand and stare. Then she walked over to the dress, reaching out to carefully run the palm of her hand down the ruffled organza. It was a pale pink, her favorite color. Though the skirt was full and billowy, the top was sleeveless and corsetted. Her mother had balked at the color, fearing it would clash with her hair, but appreciated the fact it wasn't like what all the other girls would be wearing˗˗short, tight, and with barely a yard of material. There was no other dress Maura wanted more.

"You're so fair, though," her mother had said. "And your red hair . . . What about sapphire blue or emerald green?"

"I like pink," Maura had insisted.

"But where are the sequins? Where are the ruffles and frills and big poufy bows?"

Maura had laughed then, realizing that her mother was arguing just for the sake of it. "I think the sequins and ruffles are stuck in the eighties where they belong."

There was a box sitting beside the dress. When Maura lifted the lid, she found a pair of heels and a little clutch to match. Her mother worked two jobs and they were in danger of losing their home, and yet she had scrimped and saved so that Maura didn't have to. And how had Maura repaid her? By summoning the ghost of her father.

Placing the top back on the box, she turned to go find her mom, but she was already standing in the doorway. Without a word, Maura went to her and threw her arms around her waist, squeezing. "Thank you," she whispered. "I'll pay you back. I promise."

Her mother laughed quietly and kissed her head. "I am your mother, Maura. You are my kid. Under no circumstances will you ever have to pay me back for anything."

Maura pulled back. Her mother had removed the towel from her head, and her heart nearly broke when she saw the number of silver strands threading through her hair. She swallowed hard. "Are you sure?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm just happy you're going to prom. It's been a long time since you've done anything but go to school and work."

"I guess I haven't felt like doing anything else."

"I know. I feel the same way." She smiled then. "Colin is a lucky guy."

"I guess," Maura replied, though she couldn't help her smile.

"You guess?" Her mother looked wistfully at the dress and sighed. "I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late, okay."

"I won't. Goodnight."

After her mother left, Maura slipped the dress onto a hanger and then hung it inside her closet. She placed the box of shoes and the matching clutch on top of her desk, envisioning herself slow-dancing in Colin's arms, her cheek pressed against his chest. Her phone buzzed with an incoming text, interrupting her fantasy.

Luke.

Please believe me was all the message said. With a huff of irritation, she powered off her phone without responding.

Logically, she couldn't believe a word he had said. Still, that didn't mean some part of her didn't want to. For the past year, she had grasped on to every shred of hope that her father might be alive somewhere. Was she ready to completely disregard what Luke had said about knowing where he was just because it sounded impossible?

Her phone buzzed again with another incoming text. She almost didn't look at the screen, but temptation won out in the end.

Colin.

Sweet dreams, beautiful.

Maura smiled as she responded with a brief message of her own. She would go to prom with Colin and then, after that, concentrate on the last few weeks of school until the end of the semester. As far as she was concerned, she didn't have to speak to Luke ever again. And after graduation, she would put him, and his crazy stories, out of her mind forever.

**********

Maura woke in the middle of the night with the sound of her father's voice in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to capture the vague images that danced in her mind's eye, but the dream was already slipping away. Still, she knew it well.

She was young. Very young. There was a woman who was not her mother, but who stroked her cheek familiarly. There was a girl with dark hair and eyes standing at the woman's side, quiet but watchful.

And behind the girl, partially obscured by shadows, was Luke.

*****

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