Jungkook lay blissfully relaxed in Jimin's arms. He hadn't been able to sleep at all these past few days yet sleep seemed too far out of reach. He knew Jimin wasn't asleep. The elder was stroking his hair absent-mindedly, seemingly lost in thoughts.

Jungkook turned in Jimin's arms, facing him. Jimin briefly glanced at him, his lips stretching into a smile as he leaned to press his lips on Jungkook's head. Jimin nuzzled his hair with a contented sigh before going back to staring at the ceiling.

The youngest drew a random pattern on Jimin's stomach with his index finger as he collected his thoughts. There were so many things he wanted to say then. Jimin had always been considerate. But Jungkook was a stubborn insecure ass with no courage to talk about it.

"Hyung..." he called softly.

Jimin hummed.

"Can we...uh... talk?"

Jimin shifted his gaze to him, one hand reaching to caress the side of Jungkook's face. "Sure."

Jungkook licked his lips, suddenly forgetting the words. He blinked, trying to bring out the things he wanted to say to Jimin. His hyung, however, was patiently waiting. Jimin's thumb was a smooth caress, tracing Jungkook's jawline. The youngest relaxed a bit. It was just Jimin. He wouldn't judge.

He let out a sigh, his hand enclosing Jimin's hand on his face. He felt the pulse over Jimin's wrist. Without another thought, he snuggled to Jimin's chest, pressing his ears above his heart.

"I never told you about my family," he started and Jimin hummed in response. "I didn't mean to hide, it's just...there was nothing to talk about and I didn't like...uh..."

"Understandable," Jimin murmured. "I have met your father. Trust me, I understand."

Jungkook nodded mutely. "So, my mom and dad separated when I was little." He took a deep breath. "She moved to Busan. There aren't many memorable events to recall from my childhood. It's just..." It was hard to speak about these things but he had to get it out of his chest. "She started seeing men and would tell me to go inside my room whenever someone came to visit her. I was...um...I was only allowed to come out for food, you know."

Jimin's arms around him tightened and he started running a hand on Jungkook's back.

"So...I kinda got used to it. When I'm not in school, I'd stay in my room, drawing or reading or playing games. I didn't have many friends at school. It's not like I didn't want to become friends, but...uh...it just happened. You see, when they all talk about their weekends, like how they went to this park with their parents or how their father got them new toys..." It still hurt him to recall the memories. "I'd stay silent because I had no stories like them to share."

Unlike the other children, his weekends were spent inside the four walls of his room or the small backyard alone. His father did not visit him with toys. His mother hardly had time for him.

"I liked listening to them. They were so happy spinning tales of adventures. Though I had no stories to tell, I liked to imagine myself in their place. Going out with dad and mom, doing all things." Jungkook sighed. Jimin only inched closer, stroking his hair this time, fingers softly massaging his scalp. "They would ask me about my weekend. I'd stay silent because there were no stories to tell. I didn't think they would appreciate me telling them about my time that include any of the things they do. So, they started avoiding me..." Jungkook's voice was pained. "...stopped including me in their circle and soon I became this lonely kid in school. On top of that my introverted personality didn't help."

Jimin kissed the top of his head and Jungkook felt his emotions spiral out of control.

"Wait until I tell you about my dad," Jungkook laughed without humor. "So...he has this socialite thing he does every year. It's like one of those corporate parties, but for the people in his socialite circle. They use this to brag about everything. So, every year he makes me attend this." He rolled on his back, head resting on Jimin's arm as he stared at the ceiling. "I was the youngest kid among the children of his socialite friends. You remember how small I used to be?" He craned his neck to see a fond smile stretching Jimin's lips.

"Yeah. You were like an adorable bunny with a small face and scrawny body. But puberty hit you real hard, Jungkookie." His laughter was light and bright.

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "My dad didn't like the way I looked. He hated that I was shy. So, he sent me to an all-boys boarding school to toughen me up."

"Let me guess, that didn't work."

"It didn't," Jungkook admitted. "Unlike my old school, however, I was popular in this one."

"Popular? How so?" Jimin lifted a brow.

"It was a private school and everyone knew who I was. Dad drove me to school himself on his BMW and I was never short of attention." Jungkook sighed. "I had a hard time fitting in because of all the attention I was receiving. They were very sweet, always inviting me to join them, my classmates, I mean. Even the seniors were nice. I joined sports because they won't stop pestering me and soon learned I was good at it. And sports didn't require much talking, so I enjoyed it. And finally, I thought I found my place and maybe I could even have friends. I had a few friends who always hung out with me. At least...that's what I thought they were. My friends. "

"What happened? How did you end up in Seoul?"

"Well, one day I overheard the boys talking in the changing room. I realized they were only with me because of my status as a Jeon, not because they liked me for who I was. They made fun of me behind my back and called me a faggot just because I once told them I never kissed a girl."

"I'm sorry..." Jimin caressed his cheek, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead.

Jungkook hummed. "I didn't know I was gay, hyung. I barely talked to anyone, let alone look at them. After that, I stopped hanging out with them and..." He took a long pause. "...they started bullying me. Spread rumors that I was gay and I...I look at other boys while changing and..." Jungkook's voice broke.

"Hey..."

"I never did that, hyung. Never. I always changed in my room or in the bathroom stall."

Jimin was caressing his cheekbone now, running his thumb over and over. "I know, baby. I know."

"The school management called dad and he was furious. He..." Jungkook wet his lips. "He beat the shit out of me. Let me go only when I said I didn't even know what that word meant and that wasn't true. But he changed my school right after that. Didn't even allow me to say good-bye to mom. Not that she cared."

A stray tear slid off his eyes and Jimin wiped it off, pressing another kiss to his temples. Jungkook turned to Jimin, burying his nose in the crook of Jimin's neck.

"It was so hard, hyung. I was afraid and I knew no one here. He put me in a dorm saying I should never tell anyone who I was, because he was ashamed of me. He told me to never step into his household unless I could man up like the other kids."

"That's why you never went home," Jimin stated.

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "You know the rest. I met you and Taehyung hyung. You were different. Didn't make fun of me for who I was. You didn't ask me about my parents or my past. You didn't care that I talked less. You...you were just there for me hyung. Asked me if I ate my lunch, how my sleep was? If my dorm was comfortable and if someone is troubling me. You cared for me in a way no one else did." He sniffled. "I think...I got attached to you and...um...the attraction I felt then didn't help, it only continued to grow as years went by."

Jimin threaded his hands through Jungkook's thick hair, resting his chin over his head.

"I was insecure," his voice was barely audible. "Once you graduated, they came to me. They saw you kissing me and knew we were seeing each other. Every day, they would tell me how weak and pathetic I was. That you would grow tired of my clingy ass and would leave me." The first sob broke free at the memory and Jimin made a pained noise in his throat. "I'm sorry, I let those words get to me. I was afraid. It didn't help that I couldn't see you much because you were in college. We saw each other only during weekends and...what if...what if you met someone else. What if I wasn't enough? It wasn't like we were dating back then. You never kissed me after that day and I thought...I thought..."

"That it was a one-time thing?"

"Yeah," Jungkook breathed. He swallowed the heavy lump in his throat. "You were the same as before. Taking care of me, hanging out with me whenever you had time. Then it's the same with Taehyung hyung. Like...there was nothing...uh..."

"Romantic?"

"Yeah."

"Baby, you were underage." Jimin's hold had tightened on him.

"I know that now." Jungkook chuckled without humor. "Sixteen-year-old me thought you were avoiding me. I wanted to kiss you again, but I was too shy to do that and I was afraid you might reject me."

"I'm so sorry, baby." Jimin kissed him right then. He cupped his face, tilted his chin, and met his lips. "I didn't know. I would have never rejected you. Never."

"I know that now," Jungkook said breathlessly. "I was young and did foolish things. Their bullying didn't stop."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You know why." He briefly met Jimin's gaze. Talking about it didn't hurt as much as he expected it would. The assurance in Jimin's eyes was all he needed to see then. So, he continued, "They kept taunting me and that's when I started demanding things...You know, when I initiated that kiss in the kitchen. Um...I was afraid you'd push me back. But you didn't. I told you to put hickeys on me because I thought it would stop them."

"And demanding me to drop you at school every Monday?"

"That too." Jungkook smiled sheepishly, his fingers drawing patterns on Jimin's skin. "Now I see how childish that was. I don't have regrets though." He chuckled. "That shut them up."

"I'm sorry, Jungkookie. I should have tried to understand you better. I—"

"No, hyung. I wasn't good enough. I'm still not...I keep hurting you and..." He met Jimin's gaze again. "I wish I could be better for you, less clingy, less whiny. I'm sorry you're stuck with an insecure ass who doesn't trust you. I wish...I wish—"

Jimin silenced him with a kiss. Their movements so gentle and languid, hot breaths mingling yet the need for assurance winning over lust. "I've always loved you for who you are Jungkookie." His thumb caressed Jungkook's jaw. "You always looked at me as if I'm the only person you could see. Even before you knew you liked me, you'd follow me everywhere like a lost puppy. Whether you were happy or sad, I was the first person you look for. That always made me feel wanted, so special." Jimin took a deep breath, meeting Jungkook's glossy eyes. "You always gave your hundred percent—cooking for me, waiting for me to come home even when you know you had school the next day, planning dates, always surprising me...Trust me, Jungkookie...I don't think anyone can ever love me the way you love me. Even after everything that happened you're still here, looking at me the same way you always did. You didn't know the truth, but you still gave me a chance. You're all I need, baby. Only you."

Jungkook leaned in for another kiss, tears falling free. "I won't doubt you again. I'm sorry I hurt you. I won't...never again."

"I know." Jimin kissed him again. "I know."

When Jimin made love to him for the second time that night, Jungkook felt loved, assured, and determined to never lose him again. 

Don't forget to add "Love Will Find You" to your library. It will start once this book ends.

We have 2 or 3 more chapters to go, excluding the epilogue. See you tomorrow or sometime this week.

Until we meet again...💜💜💜