When I reached my bedroom door, I walked in and sat on my bed. A few seconds later Janet walks in and closes the door.

She sat on my bed next to me and looked at me. I looked at her in the silence that was left between us. That was until she finally spoke.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"You know what. What was that between you and my brother? Are you guys secretly dating?"

"No! You know I'm not dating anyone. If I was I'd tell you. We just got caught up in the moment."

"Just got caught up in the moment? Li Li, I know my brother, and when it comes to love, he falls hard."

"And you're telling me this because?"

"Because my brother loves you."

"He loves me? How would you know?"

"Because of his actions whenever he sees you, and plus he told me."

"Well, sorry to break it to you, but he just needs to love someone else because I, for one, am not going back into a relationship, or down that path again for all it matters."

"Why not?" I gave her a look and she crossed her eyes

"Never mind, I know why."

"Exactly."

"But my brother isn't like that."

"And looks can be deceiving. He may not look like the type to beat you, but he probably is. I felt the same way about Austin."

"My brother isn't Austin, Sofia! You have to stop comparing people to Austin. You'll never truly be happy if you continue to do that."

"But that's how I feel Janet. I can't help the fact that I love Austin and he hurt me bad."

"But you can try by not comparing him to any man that passes you by."

"How would you know Janet?"

"Because I know. I tell you everything and I'm telling you only the truth. You will get nowhere if you continue to do that."

"Janet you don't tell me everything. I mean you're the only person I've talked to and actually like since everything that went down, yet you still seemed to never mention one thing."

"What? I tell, and have told, you everything."

"Oh really?" I questioned with an perfectly eyebrow arched.

"Yes really."

"Okay. I'll say two words."

She looked at me and nodded her head. "Okay. Go"

"James DeBarge"

She sat silent as I smirked at her. It wasn't a pleasant smirk either.

"I told you, you didn't tell me everything. Why was it that I had to find out the hard way, by La Toya. You're 16 years old and you had sex? C'mon Janet I thought we were better than this."

"Why did she tell you?"

"What do you mean why did she tell me. Janet, are you kidding me? You're 16 years old and having sex in her apartment? Does Ms. Katy know?"

"Oh god no, she doesn't know. Don't tell her."

"Janet, I can't promise that I won't tell. But I'll leave it up to you to tell her. Remember: What's done in the dark, comes to the light."

With that I went to my closet and grabbed my suitcase to start packing clothes in.

"What are you doing?" Janet asked as she watched me go about the room, looking for things, and placing them into my suitcase.

"I'm packing." I simply replied.

"For?"

"I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to Austin's. I love him and I want to fight for us."

"Are you kidding me!!" I looked at her as I zipped my suitcase.

"No, I'm actually going to move in with Nikki at her apartment until I can find a job and pay you guys back for letting me stay here and find an apartment of my own."

"But why? I like you here."

"Janet you're barely around any more. You're always on the road doing your tv show Fame. You're never here. You're the only one I talk to, I can move in with my best friend, I'll be alright."

"Take care okay? You scared me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll visit you whenever you want. I promise."

"Remember the day after you came home from your psychiatrist?"

"No, be more specific. I've been there a lot."

"The day you told me how you would cut up these pieces of strips of paper and write down reasons why you loved someone?"

"Like Austin?"

"Yeah, I know you never really verbally told me about that day, but do you mind?"

"Only if I can have your shoulder to cry on?"

"Always."

I put my suitcase by the door and sat down next to Janet on my bed. I sighed as I rubbed underneath my eye and began to tell my heart breaking sad Valentine's Day story.

While I'm telling the story, I have the flashback of the day and what happened and told Janet the story, part by part as the flashback occurred.

[FLASHBACK]

It was the night before Valentine's Day during my freshman year of college and I lay in my dorm room watching the clock. With every breath I took, my heart sank deeper.

I thought: He should be back by now

I watched as the clock continue to change time. . .10:34 p.m. . .11:27 p.m. . .2:05 a.m.

Then around 3:30 a.m, Austin busted into the room, laughing to himself. He hopped into bed next to me.

"Baby, you have no idea, this night was crazyyyyy!" His breath reeked of beer so I turned my back to him.

"I wish you had been back by now," I said disappointed. "I thought we were going to spend Valentine's night together." I held my breath, waiting for him to say something.

I counted my pictures of my friends and family I had hung on the wall.

"You always do this," he slurred, his tone becoming more serious. "I can never have a good time with you, you ruined my night, you always do!" By now he was screaming.

I just missed you. Please don't get mad, forget what I just said, please don't get mad. I thought.

"You hung out with the guys last night, I thought this night would be reserved for me," I pleaded with him as he sat on the edge of the bed putting his dirty running shoes, his 'drinking shoes,' back on. He then got up and grabbed the red bin he stored under my twin bed.

It was full of various things of his: shirts, shorts, love notes I wrote him. As he opened the door to leave, he also grabbed an envelope off of my dresser. It was full of cut up slips of paper I made him for Valentine's Day. Each slip contained a reason why I loved him. I spent an hour making it for him: cutting out each slip, typing up the reasons, and even coloring an elephant out of hearts that I taped to the front.

Please don't leave. I don't want to be alone.

Tears started falling down my face. Their warmth comforted me. I followed him out to the hallway where he stood waiting by the elevator.

"You're such an idiot; I can never have a good time," he slurred again.

"I'm sorry!" I pleaded, trying to embrace him, but he kept pushing me away like I was some sort of beggar, pleading for his riches.

"That's why your ex before me left you and that's why your mother is never around. You can't have fun and you're annoying." He snatched the Valentine's Day envelope off of the top his bin.

He grabbed a handful of slips, ripped them to pieces and threw some in my face, saving the rest for the top of my head.

I numbly watched "I love you because you make me laugh" flutter to the ground.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

After snapping back into reality, I looked at Janet.

"How could he do that? Say those things about your mother?"

"Nights like that happened all the time. Our arguments differed from night to night, weekend to weekend, but the premise of the emotional abuse was still the same. Putting me down, name calling, belittling, and mind games all made up the emotional abuse I endured my freshman and sophomore year of college." She listened to me and caressed my hand as I continued.

"Most of the time he was drunk, but there were fights when he was sober where he'd call me an idiot or tell me how annoying I was. He made me believe that I was the one causing the problems in the relationship." I sighed and wiped the tears that escaped my eyes.

"He would threaten to leave me and call me in the middle of the night screaming for no reason, telling me how ugly and dumb I was. Once when I cried in bed next to him, he told me I was weak."

"Everybody has a breaking point Liyah, it's okay. Let it all out. The more you let out, the better." She handed me a tissue and I wiped my nose with it.

"Most of the time, he would yell in private but as the relationship went on, people would frequently hear us arguing, because the dorm room walls are paper thin, and there was only so much I could do to hide my constant tears. Surprisingly, only my close friends and family told me to leave. Because everyone else at this time was mostly friends with both of us, no one really said anything."

"Go on. You need a minute?" She asked as I sobbed quietly a little next to her. I shook my head no and continued.

"But things weren't always bad, in fact, they started off great. He was sweet and romantic and my family loved him. Unfortunately, when he found his independence and as we became more comfortable around each other, he started to become hurtful. It started with him getting upset for no reason."

"It's okay, I'm right here. Let it all out." I nodded my head and let it all out like she had said, not leaving one detail out.

"When he was drunk, but then the name calling escalated with each fight. It seems like the red flags were obvious, but I think the fact that he wasn't always hurtful made leaving him harder for me than the abuse itself. I was attached, and I had seen a person in him that was capable of being a wonderful boyfriend. I couldn't let go of that person who was clearly gone. When my friends and family started to see how unhappy I was, I began to pull away from them. They'd tell me that I needed to leave the relationship, but I didn't have the strength. Instead, I hid the relationship from some people, including my parents. My self-worth was so low that at that point in my life, I'd rather endure abuse than be alone.

Unfortunately, every time he would break up with me or when I tried to leave him, he always came back. One moment he would call and say he didn't love me anymore and a week later he would be begging for my forgiveness because he "made a mistake." He would call me crying, buy me jewelry, write love letters, and even beg at my feet for me to take him back. Each time, he swore he would change, and I believed him. A part of me felt that he would wake up one day and be the person he used to be. Sadly, every time he promised to change, he'd be nice for a week or a month -- kind, funny, sweet -- but then he was back to his same hurtful self. When I asked him to go to counseling, he refused. I also begged him to stop drinking thinking that would help, but he didn't.

I felt ashamed that I couldn't leave. My mother raised me to be an independent woman; a woman that would never let someone treat her poorly. Yet I still couldn't leave. I felt that I had let everyone down, including myself. After months of being called names, yelled at, ignored, and told I would never find anyone else, the abuse did turn physical when my boyfriend started to push and slap."

"So, basically this all started while you were in college?"

"Yes, I hid behind my smile, lying to my dad and making him believe that I was being treated right and Austin was good for me. When in reality he wasn't."

"What if that was suppose to happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, if god wanted all of this to happen so you could be right here with someone who loves you?

"Yeah Jan, I think you've gone crazy. I don't love Michael and I will never love Michael. I do love him as in a friend type of way, but not as a couple. I'm just not ready for that and plus it's too soon."

"You're in denial." She singsong.

"Whatever Jan, I'm leaving. If they ask where I am, just tell them I am fine and not to worry about me."

She giggled and pulled me into a big hug. "I love you, and I'm gonna miss you a lot. Stay safe an if you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here."

"I know and I love you too." We pulled back from the hug, and I left out of my room. I grabbed my car keys and headed out to my car.

I put my suitcase in the back and got into the driver's side and started the ignition. I buckled up and hunked my horn at Janet as I backed up out of Havenhurts.

When I finally made it to Nikki's house I opened the door with my key an flopped down on the couch. I heard laughter coming from Nikki's room and I went to investigate,

some people would call it being nosy.

I crept around the glass table and into the hallways to her bedroom door that was slightly opened a bit.

I looked through the crack and had a full view only of Nikki. There was some guy in there to but I couldn't exactly see who.

"I really like you a lot." I heard an ah too familiar voice say. I hear this voice everyday but I couldn't pinpoint who it was.

"Really?" Nikki said back flirtatiously

"Yes, I didn't know I had a filling for you until we met and sat down you asked us thousands of different questions at one time. The day Sofia ran out of the dressing room."

"At the concert?"

"Yes, would I be asking for to much if I asked for a kiss?"

"No, you wouldn't." I watched as they leaned into each other and kissed. One thing led to another, and boom they were having a full make out session.

I giggled and walked away from the door backwards quietly, only to bump into someone. I turned around quickly and my heart raced a thousand miles per minute.

"How'd you find me?"