It felt queer for him to wake up in his own room on his own bed. It had been quite a while since he had really slept on the bed and not cried his eyes out of frustration. Being able to wake up and smile at his ceiling...he never knew it could happen.

And it was all thanks to Cloud keeping him up all night.

After talking about the eventful evening with the officials, Cloud took the topic to something more fun: Their double date.

Which was going to turn into a single one, Cole could feel it. Cole wanted to use that time to get to know him and not just the ground basis because he already covered that on the first date. He wanted to physically and sexually know him.

The only part of his body Cole had ever seen were just his chest and face. His chest was a terrific turn on but he really wanted to see how he was down there, just to know if he was a goner or not.

Cole's perverted mind couldn't stop thinking about it but who could? Cloud was the man of his dreams and that man was his and that man asked him to go out with him in front of everyone...

Rolling, he lifted the pillow to cover his face the moment his stomach twisted and a squeal erupted from him. Not everyone gets the guy of their dreams or the guy of their dreams is never as they expected. Something had to be wrong but that was where he got worried.

Cole saw nothing wrong with his boyfriend and in fact, he was his definition of perfect. Neat white teeth, perfectly cut black hair, amazing chest with that awesome tattoo that always had him drooling and he was great at listening to him. If there was anything he wanted, that was it. He was perfect!

Worried, he slid out of bed and rushed out into the corridor only to find Tames shuffling his way to the stairs with his focus more on his phone. Cole snatched his phone out of his hand and said, "I think Cloud is perfect for me. He's everything I want and I think that is wrong."

Tames rubbed his eyes as if trying to rub the sleep away and said, yawning, "Wrong? How?"

"Because he is perfect. Perfect people don't exist. That means he must be hiding something from me." He rushed on.

"What? You mean Derick?" Tames sighed when his brother nodded, "Derick is far from perfect. He's a big bully, gets detention a lot, rude, and he's poor at math."

Cole stayed silent and thought of anytime Cloud had been rude to him. Sure he was a bully, that wasn't new. Detention, Cole didn't mind that. And poor in math, please, he wasn't good in math either so he had no right to judge. All in all, Cloud was still okay in his head.

"Tames, he's still perfect to me."

Tames looked wide awake now and said, "Maybe he's perfect to you because you love him. It is the only explanation. I see him as a very, very big jerk."

Cole scoffed when he heard the L word from his mouth. There was no way he could be in love. Love was a fairy tale thing and the only kind of love he was ever acquainted with was infatuation and lust. He thought it was lust he felt around Cloud when he started being nice to him but then he talked and the butterflies started.

"Cole?" His brother's voice sounded far off but he slowly pulled him back to reality, "Cole, you zoned out."

"You said I was in love with him?"

"Aren't you?"

"I don't know what that is."

Tames rose a brow at him, "Pardon?"

"Love, what is that?" Cole asked seriously. His years of torture had made him forget what it was like to love someone. He knew he never loved the girls he dated but he had never actually had a boyfriend before.

This made him suddenly scared.

What if Cloud loved him and Cole didn't know how to respond to that? And worse, what if Cole really did love him but he just wanted to get with him? In fact, why did love hurt like this if it was really love?

Just the mention on Cloud's name anywhere and his heart skips more beats than he could count. It's just his name and yet...

"Cole you zoned out again."

"Sorry. Still trying to digest the fact that I might be in love with him." He said as if in a daze.

Tames stared at him for a while in total confusion then shook his head and said, "You know, I might be wrong. If you are free we could go round back and ask Payne? He's a romantic and I'm sure he has been in love once or twice."

"Sure." He answered numbly, "My date is at four because Cloud has to be at the gym. I'll wash up."

Washing up didn't take long and soon he was down the stairs. Like a habit of his, he walked into the kitchen and said as he sat on the stool in the counter, "Morning Jane."

"Where did you see Jane?" Tames came up behind him and asked.

"What do you mean, 'where-" It was then it occurred to him that he was talking to his brother and not one of the twins and if that was so, the woman cooking must have been...

Cole froze when he realized his mistake. He panicked when he saw his mother smile at him but Cole
could still see the mix of hurt and guilt in there. "Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm normally used to the scene of Jane making breakfast for me. I've even called Mattew Jane before."

Cole couldn't believe he made such a mistake. Ashley was nothing like Jane. Unlike Jane's very motherly mien, Ashley was more of the strict kind of mother. She was a business woman and didn't exactly play around.

She smiled again then said, "You should bring your friends over sometime and also the Lumbergs. We should have one big barbeque. Your father loves to have that but since you left, he stopped."

"Yeah. The grill has been catching dust in the garage." Tames added and Ashley served them their food.

Cole never knew his absence would affect his dad of all people.

"I heard my name." John walked quickly into the room in his suit and briefcase.

Ashley perked up when she saw him and gave him a small kiss on his lips before handing him a plate of toast. "Cole was just mentioning something about barbeque. He wants to invite the Lumbergs over so we can have a huge family dinner. And I thought we could use that time to thank them to taking care of our son."

"Oh." John was already mid bite when his brows rose up after Jane was done speaking. He nodded then glanced at Cole. "Sure. They gave you back to us so why not?"

Cole felt like he was losing his touch in talking because right now, he felt dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected them to be so forgiving and nice. Those mouths of theirs had said words to him that have left a scar on him.

Honestly, he felt more comfortable with those harsh words than the kind one because it felt surreal. He couldn't believe it was actually happening.

When the awkwardness started to sip into the atmosphere, Cole tried to think of something to do but the thought was killed when he heard a knock. Getting out of his seat quickly, he mumbled an, 'I'll get it', before running to answer the door.

The moment Cole saw Jane and the twins, he grinned and hugged them all at the same. It hadn't been a day and he missed them so much.

"Oh my golly, what are you guys doing here?" he pulled back then led them inside.

"Your clothes, of course." Marcus rolled his eyes then dumped the large garbage bag filled with his clothes on him. Cole was forced to hold on to it as the stupid twin entered.

"Sorry about that. I could take it to your room for you." Mattew, the ever lovely one said, taking the bag from him.

"Don't worry. Just leave it in the sitting room. I'll do it." He managed a smile for him and led them to the sitting room which Marcus was already in and was looking through the family photo.

He turned back when he heard noises and smirked at Cole, "You looked so cute in this one, I'm sure Derick will want to keep it."

"Shut your face!" Cole rolled his eyes at him then turned to Jane, "Good to see you again."

"Same honey. Now, where is that sad excuse of a father?" Jane grinned.

"I'll go get them actually. They want to see you." He ignored the insult and pointed his thumb to the kitchen.

"You go do that. I'll keep my boys from touching or stealing anything." She smiled at him then shot a glare at Marcus who was picking something up from the shelf.

"Mum!" Matthew frowned at her, not noticing when Marcus quickly returned the item and Cole laughed. He really did miss them.

Cole headed back to the kitchen to call them but stopped in his steps, for some reason, when he heard them talking in a hush tone. Cole didn't know why he stopped to listen to it when he knew he could ask what they were talking about, but Cole had a feeling they won't tell him when he found out it was about him.

"You've got to give him time." Tames said.

"You think it's easy, don't you?" His mum replied.

"No I don't. Do you know how long it took me to get an actual smile from him? Or a kind response when I begged him to come back? I spent months planning to get my brother back and I do not want the both of you spoiling it now that he is here."

"So what do you want us to do huh?" John asked angrily. "We fucked up."

"Then don't fuck up your second chance. He is trying to trust you."

"Then what should we do?"

"I don't know, be a parent? Be the way you were before this whole thing started? Last I remembered, mum never cooks breakfast for us because she is already at work. And what is with the whole grinning? Don't lie to him. Just be yourself. The both of you are naturally neglectful parents which means the only reason why he left was because the only time he got attention, the both of you spent it throwing insults at him."

"Don't forget you were part of this." Leave it to the women to drag people into their problems.

"Yeah but I am his brother. We make silly mistakes like this all the time."

"You don't know what it feels like to have a child that is different and could make you a laughing stock at your office."

"Actually I wouldn't because I am still a kid, but I know what it feels like to have a brother that is different. Right now, it is fucking awesome because people think I am an awesome person for being supportive of my brother.

"Even If I happen to have a child that turns out to be gay, I wouldn't have called him names at least and maybe I would have gotten to know and understand him more. I don't know, isn't that what parents are supposed to be like?"

The kitchen became unbelievable quiet and Cole took that as his cue to enter. He pretended like he hadn't heard anything and gave them a fake smile, "Hey, the Lumbergs are here."

That was when he noticed the intense atmosphere. He didn't know the conversation was lighting a fire between his brother and his mum but they quickly looked away from each other and Ashley grinned at Cole, "How nice of them to come. I should tell them about the barbeque." She took that chance and sharply slipped out of the kitchen.

Cole stayed quiet as Tames stomped out of the kitchen making him feel a little overwhelmed that he would fight to keep him.

He was now left in the kitchen with his dad who was drinking his coffee from a mug that had THE WORLD'S WORST DAD written on it. Cole held a grin and said, "Tames got that for you, huh?"

"Damn right he did." He smacked his lips together then added, "He got it for me on my 44th birthday. He hated the fact that I didn't call you to come over."

Cole remembered that day like every other day. He was still at the Lumberg's and he had called to at least drop a Happy birthday wish for his dad. He didn't pick up the phone but Cole assumed the best: He thought they were all raided by thugs and shot at the spot.

He never knew he was worried until he saw himself in the house the next day glad to find everyone alive. He hated himself more that day.

"'Happy birthday Dad. I don't know if you would ever hear this but I am just going to say it quickly, I love you and mum and Tames and I hope you all have a great time.'

"I played that message until I fell asleep. It surprised me that you would actually send that after everything I did to you."

"It wasn't like you said you hated me." Cole shrugged and took a step closer to him.

"Tames was right. I should have got to know you but now this is all I get." He dropped the coffee mug down slowly then looked up at Cole.

Cole had never seen his dad sound so hurt before in his life. This was the man that Cole thought hated him but to find that he didn't, he felt somewhat relived.

"..." He started to say something then stopped when he realized that if he did respond to him, he would know that he was eavesdropping on them.

Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"I know you overheard our conversation."

"Oh."

"Did I ever tell you eavesdropping is bad?"

Cole's eyes widened. Is his father trying to lecture him? "Uh, no. I don't think so."

"I really am the worst dad ever."

"Honey, the guests are going. Hurry up." Ashley called from the sitting room.

John played with the mug one last time before nodding and saying, "I think that's me."

He picked up his brief case and started to head out but Cole caught his arm before he left and said, "Your pancakes always tasted better than hers." Since his mum always left early for work, his dad always made pancakes for him because that was the only food he was really good at baking.

John's lips slowly turned into the smile that Cole learned to love. His once scrutinizing gaze and frowning wrinkled forehead seemed to disappear and soon, all Cole could see was the father he once loved.

And at that moment, Cole remembered what it was like to be loved by his own family. He watched the Lumbergs greet John and Ashley introduced them. Cole watched them laugh and he felt something hard shatter inside him.

It was the stone wall he had built over the years that he never even knew he had. The sight of the people he loved the most laughing together in one room helped him to understand what love truly was.

It was the pain that you couldn't get enough of.