11 | can't feel my heart
Sadly, after the interviews were over, Bellona was forced to give some input on Dr. Gaul's assignment. But as she pondered her thoughts, she couldn't think of anything that would satisfy her.
She knew what everyone was expecting her to say: 'The war was great because it brought me to the Capitol.'
But Bellona couldn't help but feel disrespected by that statement. The war was in no way kind to her. And neither was the Capitol. Without the war, Bellona would be happy in District 2 with her parents. And Sabyn would still be alive.
But still, Bellona needed to scribble down something before class. And so she wrote the only thing that was true.
-
As soon as Bellona entered the classroom, arm-in-arm with Sejanus, she noticed Dr. Gaul standing by a screen as she reviewed the footage from last night's interviews.
"Oh goodie! The Plinths have joined us. How fun," the woman chirped, greeting the two with a sinister smile. Bellona scoffed at that, dragging Sejanus toward an empty table.
"Look at that. Giving a girl without a fighting shot some bread for her broken heart," Dr. Gaul muttered, gutting as she turned toward Coriolanus, "Why do you think that is?"
"At the dogfights, I've seen people back mutts that can barely stand," said Festus, cutting into the conversation, "People love a long shot."
"Those damn dog fights," Bellona muttered under her breath before raising her hand high.
"Ah, Ms. Plinth. What would you like to say?" said Dr. Gaul, the group let out a collective sigh at that, ready for another Pinth and Creed showdown. But surprisingly, Bellona did not argue back.
"Creed's right. People seek what makes them feel something. Whether it's hope or love. Lucy Gray made them feel it," Bellona added, turning her attention toward the boy who was currently celebrating at Bellona's agreement.
'Don't make me take it back,' Bellona muttered toward the boy, who quickly relaxed, but let the smirk stay on his face.
"People are fools," Livia cut in, scoffing at the thought of Lucy Gray winning, "She doesn't stand a chance."
"People love romance," Pup shot back with a teasing smile, blowing the girl a kiss as he batted his eyelashes. Bellona let out a loud laugh at that, earning an annoyed look from Livia.
"Yes well, those notions can be rather appealing," said Dr. Gaul, cutting off Pup's foolery, "Would you look at that. A perfect segue into our essays. Who would like to go first?"
Bellona waited as she listened to her classmates' romantic notions about why they felt the war was beautiful, quietly grimacing at their memories. Even Coriolanus, whom Bellona fully expected to write about some need for power wrote a somewhat sappy story about a turkey of all things.
The only thing that truly caught Bellona's attention was Festus's essay. Unlike what the boy had claimed prior, Festus's essay was rather short, consisting of only one story. A story Bellona knew quite well.
Festus set the scene by describing a run-down playground where all the children played. Where the Ring twins would force them to play Ring-around-the-rings and the boys would chase each other with sticks.
Bellona knew this scene well, although she was never allowed to participate. The first time she had met all of her classmates was on that very playground, hand-in-hand with Sejanus as they watched the other kids play.
And though Festus didn't specify the date, Bellona knew it was then.
"Back then, there was so much going on, and yet on the playground, everything felt so simple and innocent," said Festus, "I would play with my friends and kick around my favorite little orange ball until one day I lost it. But even then, I still was happy."
Bellona let out a chuckle under her breath at Festus's story about losing his precious toy, knowing there was much more to the story.
-
When Bellona first met Festus, he was playing with his toy, kicking it around carelessly as Bellona watched in silence. That was until the boy sent it flying straight at her head.
"Ow!" Bellona grunted out, holding her head as she watched the ball bounce by her feet. Quickly, a little curly-haired boy scurried over to her.
The little boy let out a laugh as he noticed the girl holding her head.
"I'm sorry," the boy muttered insincerely, causing Bellona to roll her eyes.
"Yeah right," said Bellona, glaring daggers at the boy.
"It was an accident. Honest," the boy replied, nodding toward the ball, "Can I have it back?"
Bellona looked at the ground before picking up the ball, examining it for a moment.
"You want it back?" Bellona asked, glancing at the boy as she began to extend it out. The boy nodded happily as he tried to reach for the ball, only for Bellona to rip it out of his hands last minute.
"Whoops! My hand slipped. Guess you're gonna have to go get it," Bellona shot back with a sickeningly sweet smile. The boy let out a loud yell as he noticed it landed in a construction zone. Off-limits to the children.
"Hey! What was that for? Now I can't get it back!" The boy cried out, causing Bellona to laugh.
"Oh really?" the girl replied, faking innocence as she tilted her head at him, "Guess we're even then."
"I'm so gonna get you back for that," the boy threatened, face full of anger. Bellona smiled at his empty threat. But before the boy could even say anything else, his friends called him over again.
"FESTUS! IT'S TIME TO GO!"
The boy let out a scoff as he looked from his friends to Bellona, gritting his teeth as he began to back away.
"This isn't over."
Bellona laughed at that, waving the boy off.
"Goodbye, Festus! Have fun finding a new ball!"
And while Festus hadn't exactly become Bellona's friend, he still was the first of his classmates to ever treat her normally. And even 8-year-old Bellona was grateful for that.
-
Bellona cursed to herself as she reminisced about Festus's story, quickly wiping a smile off her face as she tuned back into the class.
By the time Bellona had tuned back in, Festus's story had finished and Domitia was going on about being a part of something bigger. Maybe it would be better if Bellona tuned out again.
"Ms. Plinth. I believe it's your turn," said Dr. Gaul, gesturing toward the girl. Bellona cleared her throat as she unfolded her paper.
"To me, the war is not this great victory story or a moment of hope like it was for my classmates," said Bellona, gesturing toward those around her. Bellona could hear a sigh coming from one of her classmates at her claim, but Bellona ignored it, continuing to read off her essay.
"I lost my parents and my home. I lost friends. I lost everything because of the war," Bellona read out. For a moment, she could feel an uncomfortable silence at her words, as if they had shocked her classmates.
"Ms. Plinth, this is an essay about the beauty of war. Not the hardships," Dr. Gaul warned, sending Bellona a look. Bellona rolled her eyes at that, waving off the woman.
"I'm getting there," said Bellona, turning back to her paper with a scoff, "But the war did give me something. It gave me the best brother anyone could ever ask for and a caring Ma, who took me in when I needed it the most. Even in a time of loss, my district still treated me with love and sympathy. And that right there, is my unity. My beauty."
Bellona smiled to herself for the essay, proud of herself for writing something that wasn't just Capitol garbage. Sejanus, too, seemed proud of his sister, sending her a warm smile as she finished up.
Everyone else remained silent as Bellona finished, both shocked by her support of the districts and her admittance about her family. But Bellona could care less about what they though, neatly folding the paper as she sat down next to Sejanus.
"I love you. You know that right?" Sejanus muttered, squeezing Bellona's hand lightly. Bellona smiled back as she chuckled.
"I know."
"Well, Ms. Plinth. I speak for us all when I say that was definitely unexpected," said Dr. Gaul, rolling her eyes at the sappy moment, "Boy Plinth, it's your turn now."
Sejanus cleared his throat as he flipped over his sheet.
"The only thing I loved about the war was the fact that I still lived at home," said Sejanus, gaining some stirs from their classmates, "If you're asking me if it had any value beyond that, I would say it was an opportunity to right some wrongs."
"And did it?" asked Gaul.
No.
"Not at all. Things in the Districts are worse than ever," said Sejanus, causing an uproar from the other students.
'GO BACK HOME THEN!'
'AND TAKE YOUR FAMILY WITH YOU.'
Bellona rolled her eyes at the outrage, playing with her fingernails as she waited for everything to die down.
Sejanus also ignored his classmates, keeping his attention on Dr. Gaul.
"May I ask, what is it you love about war, Dr. Gaul?" asked the boy, causing Bellona to chuckle.
"I loved that it proved me right."
-
The uproar didn't end easily and after a while, Dean Highbottom had to send the group off for lunch. Lunch, however, proved to be uneventful, seeing as the boys all sat together discussing strategy while Bellona sat with Lysistrata and Vipsania as they discussed their attachment to their tributes.
After lunch, the group was escorted through the inner workings of the machinery for the games before they were given one final meeting with their tributes.
"Hiya, Little Mizzen," Bellona greeted, smiling softly as she sat with the younger boy. Mizzen quickly smiled back, letting his nervous demeanor fizzle as he looked at the older girl.
"Don't call me that," Mizzen whined, grimacing at the nickname. Bellona let out a laugh, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. Mizzen let out a scoff as he pouted.
"How are you feeling?" Bellona asked the boy, switching topics. Mizzen looked down for a moment before nodding.
"Fine, I guess," said the boy as he fiddled with his fingers. But Bellona could tell he was nervous.
"How about some food then?" asked Bellona, pulling out a tin of snacks, "For the nerves."
"I'm not nervous," the boy shot back, causing Bellona to chuckle.
"No. No. Of course not," Bellona replied, knowing the boy was lying. Still, Mizzen happily took the treats, saving some for Coral later.
The two quietly for a few moments as Bellona watched the boy eat, heart heavy as she remembered this might be the last time she saw him.
"Bell?" the boy asked quietly, wiping his mouth the best he could as he looked up at the older girl.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I'm going to die?" asked Mizzen, eyes filling with water as he tried to blink it away. Bellona clenched her jaw as she placed a comforting hand over this.
"No. No, of course not," said Bellona, squeezing his hand tighter, "You can win this. I believe in you."
Mizzen looked down for a moment as he lightly squeezed Bellona's hand, ignoring the tremor in his own.
"Are you sure?" asked the boy.
"I can feel it in my bones," Bellona muttered, smiling as she urged the boy to look up at her, "I have a knack for these things."
"That's not possible," the boy muttered, "You can't predict the future."
"Oh, but I can. Ask Festus. I'm rather good at that stuff," Bellona replied, causing the boy to giggle. Festus turned his head at the mention of his name, but Bellona only sent him a look, placing a finger over her mouth for him to keep quiet.
"You two are so weird," Mizzen muttered, once again in a more chipper mood.
"We are not," Bellona defended, "Well, at least I'm not. Can't say the same for him."
"Are you two talking about me over there?" Festus asked, causing the two to laugh.
"No. We would never do such a thing. Right, Mizzen?" said Bellona, causing Fesuts to eye them both suspiciously.
"Right," said the little boy, laughing again.
"Pay attention to your own conversation, Festus. I'm sure Coral has many important things to say, right Coral?" Bellona added, changing the subject as she turned to the other girl. Coral sent the girl a confused look before scoffing.
"No. I'm good."
The pair busted out in laughter again as Festus looked offended by Coral's rejection. But the boy quickly brushed it off at the sound of the timer.
Once again, the air went stale as Bellona turned toward the boy.
"Well, I guess this is it," Mizzen muttered, but Bellona quickly shut him down.
"Of course not," said Bellona, "I'll see you after you win the games, alright?"
Mizzen looked unsure for a moment before nodding.
"Right."
"Time to go, Bell," said Lyssie, nodding toward the door.
"Alright, give me a hug," said Bellona standing up as she walked over to the little boy, squeezing him tightly.
"You've got this. I'm rooting for you," Bellona muttered as the boy placed his chin on her shoulder.
"Goodbye, Bell."
"Not goodbye. See you later," Bellona corrected, smiling softly at the boy as she pulled away.
"Fine. I'll see you later then."
"What the?" Bellona heard Festus mutter, following his gaze. Bellona scoffed as she watched Lucy Gray and Coriolanus exchange a kiss, laughing slightly as the two were pulled away.
Poor Lucy Gray, Bellona thought. She must not know that Coriolanus is only playing her for a fool.
"And that's our cue," said Bellona, grabbing onto Festus's elbow, "Let's go."
"Wait, I've gotta congratulate him," Festus muttered as he rubbed his pained wrist, most likely from Coral.
"Gross, Festus. Really?" Bellona replied, pinching the boy's elbow at his crude comment.
"Why? You jealous?" asked Festus, sending her a look as he raised his eyebrows teasingly.
"You really think I'd kiss Coriolanus?" Bellona replied, folding her arms.
"No," said Festus as he smirked, "But I think you'd kiss me."
"You're so gross," Bellona muttered, reaching up to smack the boy again, but Festus quickly got out of the way, laughing as he ran forward.
"Wait up for me!" Bellona called out, rushing after the boy as they made their way home.
"So are you ready?" Festus asked the girl after he had finally finished running away from her.
"Not really," replied Bellona, deciding honestly was better than lying.
"Well, I think one of us will win. I'm sure of it," Festus replied, turning to her with a competitive smile. Bellona let out a laugh, feeding into his bait.
"And it'll be me. I've already talked to Mizzen about it," Bellona replied, sending the boy a confident smirk. Fesuts chucked at this, eyes full of intrigue.
"Oh really? Guess we'll see."
"Guess we will."
-
a/n: end of act I ?? I totally forgot this was the chapter for today lol,,, anyways yall, I hope you guys like it!! as an apology for it being late, I added a bit more to it to make it longer <33
anyways lowkey crying over mizzen and bellona... I swear they're gonna be the death of me </33
but yess festus and bellona first meeting ?? lowkey did not have that planned but lol there it is !!
anyways, guys, tysm for reading !!! I love you guys sm and I appreciate you all reading !!
love you guys,
hannah <33
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